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I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

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  • #31
    im 13 and wanna leave my home to live with my friends family my mom always says she's gonna kick my out so why cant she just do and just leave me alone i tried leaving once and she said she was gonna call the cops to escort me out why is that i wanna know why she needs the cops to escort me out

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! It sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation with your mom and we can definitely talk about a few things that relate to what you’re asking and we can always talk further if you want to reach out to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on our online that system.
      It sounds like you’ve been in a hard situation with your mom. We aren’t legal experts, but since you are 13 your parents/guardians are legally responsible until you turn 18, the usual age of adulthood in the US. This means if you do want to go to live with your friend’s family, your mom may file something called a runaway report. This doesn’t mean you can get into serious legal trouble as running away isn’t per say but, a status offense which means you cant be arrested or put in jail. If you do lave and your mom files that report, the police can look for you and if you are found you would just be brought to your mom’s home so this may be what your mom is referring to as “escorting you out”. It can get tricky if you are found at that friend’s parents house because your mom could press charges of “harboring a runaway” which is when legal trouble can be involved. These are just some risks to keep in mind and we can always talk further about them if you reach out again.

      You did mention your mom threatening to kick you out which can be considered neglect as she is legally responsible for you until you turn 18. If you want we can talk about child abuse reporting which is something you are allowed to do if you feel you are being abused or neglected. We can further talk on this if you want and we can help you answer any questions you have. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is also a good resource for any questions you have about child abuse reporting and the process or potential outcomes.

      Again we are always here for you and we are really sorry you are going through this tough situation. If you do get into a situation where you are kicked out or unsafe, don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends family or the police or even us. Your safety is important and we can help plan for situations like those if you want. We are here 24/7 so we are here for you and really care about you. We hope to hear from you soon!

      Best,
      NRS

  • #32
    im 15 and i have not got along with my family for awhile. my mom has said that i will never be apart of the family. and her my brother and my dad are there own little family. i am always getting continuity told that i'm not good enough and that im just a ******** up. i got adopted by this family when i was 4. this family just puts emotional strain on me and is just making me depressed. they get money from a sate every month and they don't pay fr anything of mine. my boyfriend which is 17 pays for my food and all my clothes. im done living with my family and idk what to do. over the summer i was living with my sister but that didn't work out very well so i had t go back "home" i just want to live with my boyfriend but they wont let me. they have maid it very clear that living with them is just a living arrangement.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there,
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are very sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation. You do not deserve to be treated badly by anyone, ever. You deserve to be treated with respect. It is good to see, though, that you are smart and brave enough to seek out help when you need it, we know this can be very hard to do.
      Again, thank you for reaching out. We are sorry to hear that your family call you awful names and tell you such terrible things. No one has the right to treat you that way. It sounds like you have had it with them and are ready to leave. It is good to hear that you have the support of your boyfriend. We are not going to tell you what to do or what not to do; we know that you will make the best choice for yourself. We would like to present you with some possible options if you do decide to leave. We are not legal experts here at NRS, but to our limited knowledge, if you leave your parent’s home without permission it is considered running away. It is not illegal to run away, it is a status offense, which means it is something you should not do because you are underage. If you were to leave, your parents can file a runaway report. This means that if you come in contact with the police for any reason, they will run your name in their system and you will come up as a runaway. There is a big possibility that you will be taken back “home”. An option is to have parental permission to live with your boyfriend. If your parents/guardians give you their permission to live with him, you should not get in any trouble. It may be a good idea to get this permission in writing if it possible. You may also get permission to live with someone else if they do not want to consent to you living with your boyfriend. Again, it may be a good idea to get this down in writing. If you do not get their permission and you decide to leave anyway, the people you are staying with can potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway. If you think it will be helpful, we offer a service called a conference call. It is basically a three way call between you, your parents, and one of our liner volunteers. Sometimes it is helpful to have a mediator for support to talk about the situation. If you would like to do this, you can call our 24 hour crisis hotline. Another option may be to talk to your case worker, if possible. You mentioned you were adopted and your family receives money from the state for having you, so maybe there is a case worker you can get in touch with about the situation. We hope this information is helpful.
      Again, thank you for reaching out to us. We hope the information we provided you with is helpful. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or start a live chat with us online. We are here to listen, we are here to help.
      Best,
      NRS

  • #33
    im 15 and i have a terrible home life. My mother constantly yells at me and tells me im a horrible child, and my dad doesnt ever care about my opinions. I recently transferred schools and my parents blame me for it. i dont know what to do, and im thinking about going and staying with a friend. my boyfriend doesnt know what to do either, or how to help me. and ive been hiding behind a mask for the past couple of years too, pretending that everything is okay even though its not. i have attempted suicide as well, and my mom told me that i shouldnt have survived. that im too much of a burden on her life. so any people I know are willing to take me in, but i doubt my mom would ever let me leave. my grades have been dropping cause i stopped caring about how well i do in school, and i started drinking and sneaking around with m good friends because i stopped caring about what my parents say. im scared that they will beat me if itry to leave, because i know that they are really strict and care more about their reputation than they do about me. they stopped loving me once i could walk and talk. their expectations are too high, and they dont care about my feelings ever. i just think that running away would bring my family happiness.

    Comment


    • #34
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and to support.

      You've mentioned a lot of things about feeling very hurt by your parents and about attempting suicide in the past. We want you to know that you are not alone and that your life is valuable. If you are ever feeling suicidal again don't hesitate to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They are also 24/7 and there to support you.

      It sounds like you're having a hard time at home and are wanting to move out. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking if you run away before you turn 18 and your parent files a runaway report, the police could return you home. running away is not a crime, but whoever you stay with could be charged with what is called harboring a minor. Do you have any other family or an adult that you trust that you think could advocate for you to your parents? We also have a conference call service here where a liner can mediate a conversation between you and your parents to make it more constructive and make you feel safer in sharing your feelings. Let us know if that is something you would be interested in.

      You mentioned that your parents are painful towards you. No one deserves to be mistreated or feel neglected. If you want to talk more about your situation or want information on child abuse reporting you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 if you want to talk more specifically about your situation and get support.


      Best,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #35
        I am 17, and I want to move in with my friends family. I've talked to my friends mom and she said it would be fine, and if I were to even run away she would take care of me and cover me from the police. It's messed up because I talked to my guardians about getting me emancipated or simply just letting me move in with my friends, and they said no, they want me to sit and suffer with them, it is either that or I go into foster care. I don't think that's fair, and I'm all out of options. I don't know what to do. I want to get emancipated but I don't even know how to do it, and in Illinois apparently you need parental approval otherwise they will reject it. It really sucks. I need help.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thanks for reaching out. It’s always rough when you don’t get along with your parents, and even worse when you don’t want to live with them any longer. Your home life sounds difficult and we’re glad to help.
          We’re glad your friend’s family is willing to take you in if you run away. They sound very invested in your safety, and we’re glad people are in your corner like that. We want runaway youth to be safe and well-informed. You may want to plan for things to go wrong that way you have planned for the worst if the worst does come. You may want to think about how to get shelter, food, and other resources. If you need help fulfilling any of your needs as a runaway, please call us at 1-800-786-2929. We have a database of shelters, basic centers, and other such resources that you may find useful.
          Emancipation is definitely difficult to attain. The qualifications exclude a lot of youth from becoming emancipated, and those who do qualify have to spend a lot of money and time in the courts in order to complete the process. We definitely understand how frustrating it can be for a youth seeking emancipation. We don’t give out non-national resources over the forums for security purposes, but you can call us and ask for some Illinois-specific emancipation resources if you wish to contact legal aid in spite of these challenges.
          Hopefully this message was helpful. We are here 24/7 for resources and support, and invite you to reach out to us if you need further assistance. We wish you the best of luck.
          -NRS

      • #36
        I’m 16 and I’m dating this 18 y/o which he is a cop and my mom is so controlling over our relationship. She never lets me see him and is always threatening that she can make my relationship and life a living hell if I ever do anything. And we are protected by the Romeo and Juliet law but I not aloud to see him without being on gps as well as him. I want to move in with him but I don’t know what to do.

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to us. It can sometimes be the hardest part, to just reach out and get any kind of help, and to share what’s going on. It can’t be easy what you’re going through and to have these feelings for someone, without being able to spend alone time with them.
          You mentioned being protected by Romeo and Juliet laws. There isn’t much guidance we can give you on that without knowing what state you are in, and we’re also not legal experts here. There is a great resource called sexetc.org that could offer you some guidance. If you do want to call us at 1-800-786-2929, we could always talk through this more with you and provide you some more legal resources. We are here 24/7. As far as moving out, since you are a minor, your mom could file a runaway report and have you returned home. There are potentially options where you could setup an alternative living arrangement but this would require some involvement from your mom. If it was a temporary situation, you could potentially have wherever you’re staying call the police and let them know where you are, but this likely couldn’t be a permanent situation without parental consent. You didn’t mention another parent, so might be an option too to have a discussion with them. We also have options to do conference calls with youth and a parent, so that’s an option too if you want to call us.
          Sometimes it can help to just talk to friends and other adults as well to talk about the situation or to get involved in hobbies to take your mind off things. If there is someone that knows your mom, maybe you could also talk to them and have them talk to your mom.
          Hopefully these are some good options for you. As mentioned earlier, we are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We’re here to listen. Here to help.
          Best of luck!

      • #37
        I am 14 and living with my mom is so hard we argue so much because all she does is just yell at me and I left my old school were I knew almost everyone and I was so happy there and there is a way for me to go back but she won’t do it and at my new school I was being bullied by like almost everyone and they all call me a slut and so does my mom and the kids at my new school told me I should just go back to my old school because no one there likes me and I cry myself to sleep everyday I am failing school because of how depressed I am I just want to die and my friend told me her parents said it would be ok if I came and stayed with them but my mom would give her consent for me to do it what could I do please help

        Comment


        • #38
          Reply: I am 14 and living with my mom

          Hello,

          I takes courage for someone such as yourself to reach out, you are very brave to do so.
          It can be tough to make changes like going from one school to another.
          You don’t deserve to be treated badly at home or at school, you are not alone at this difficult time NRS offers support during this difficult time.
          Sometimes things can seem so overwhelming that it’s hard to figure out just what to do.
          Talking with someone might be something to consider, perhaps a counselor at your school.
          Most schools have some protocol when it comes to bullying.

          There are also organizations that help support those who are being bullied.
          www.stopbullying.gov
          http://www.pacer.org/bullying/

          It sounds like you have a friend along with their parent that wants to be supportive maybe your friend’s parents and your mom can talk about the idea of you coming to stay with them for a time.
          If you ae feeling depressed or suicidal contact the National Suicide and Prevention Lifeline at 1-9—273-8255.

          NRS is here to help and here to listen. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org
          You were very brave to reach out today. Good job.

          We hope to hear from you soon.



          Take care,
          NRS


          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #39
            Hi I am 13 years old i live in sioux falls south dakota, I live with my mom and twin sister and I don't like living here at all. My sister always calls me names and my mother never lets me leave the house and if i do i get grounded. I have a friend in parker sd and his mom said she will take me in and she is the nicest person i think i have ever met but my mom wont let me go live with her. My dad does not have a home at the moment and there is a lot of drama going on between my dad and cousin and my mom and dad won't let me go there. my friend's mom's house and my cousins house are the only 2 places i feel loved anymore. is there anything i can do to make it so i can go live with either one of them?

            Comment


            • ccsmod3
              ccsmod3 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to talk about what is going on. We are here to support you through this. Your situation sounds really difficult. It must be really hard to feel like your family isn’t supportive of you and your needs.

              Maybe you and your mom could potentially start going to counseling with one another and work out these issues. Here at the National Runaway Safeline we offer a service called a conference call. So if you and your mom want to have a conversation about these issues with someone to mediate on the phone, we would be happy to do so.

              Running away is not illegal but harboring a runaway is, so if you decide to runaway the person you decide to stay with could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway if your mom decided to pursue legal actions. If you give us a call we would be happy to look up some counseling resources as well.

              If you have anymore questions or just need to talk the National Runaway Safeline is here 24/7 to help and listen.

              -NRS

          • #40
            Hello I am 15,
            I want to move out I cant stand living with my mom literally when I am there I just sit and stare at the 4 walls im supposed to call my room. She never really talks to me she is always up my stepdads ass and
            she never really pays attention. I have had a family friend that has always been there for me ever since i was little. What am i supposed to do?

            Comment


            • ccsmod3
              ccsmod3 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi,
              thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to be able to explain your situation to us. We are here to help and available 24/7. It certainly sounds like you are dealing with a very tough situation. We are very sorry to hear that you are feeling neglected. No one should feel neglected and it must be very frustrating.

              You mentioned that you were thinking about moving in with a family friend. There are a couple different things to think about when moving out. Depending on your state’s age of majority, you can be given a status offense as a runaway if you choose to do so. Your parents could file a runaway report which could possibly stop you from living with your family friend. Another thing to consider would be the legal issues the family friend you are staying with would run into. If they were to have you stay at their residence, they would be considered harboring a runaway. It would also be beneficial to think about how you would secure important legal documents if you decide to run away. These are all factors that would be important to think about if you were to move away from home at the age of 15. However, an alternative option for moving away could be talking to your mother about how you are feeling. This might be able to open the lines of communication. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide what is best for you considering your situation. We offer conference calls where we can be on the line as mediators. To do this, you would call our crisis hotline, 1-800- RUNAWAY.
              If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to call. Again, we are 24/7 and always available to chat and are available at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you the best of luck.

              NRS

          • #41
            my mom and i constantly get into fights and i left home 3 times because i couldn't handle it no more and she sent me away to north Carolina is there a way i can live with my friend im 15

            Comment


            • ccsmod15
              ccsmod15 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like your home life has been stressful and we hope to be able to help you out.

              It’s unfortunate to hear that your mom and you are fighting so often, and also that you’ve ran away from home already three times as a result. You should feel comfortable at home and it really must be difficult that you haven’t always felt this way. We’re here if you wish to talk more about your fights with your mom or if you need support.

              We aren’t sure what circumstances you were in when your mom sent you to North Carolina, or where you are currently staying. These pieces of information may affect whether or not it is legal for you to leave and stay with your friend. In general, however, when a youth runs away, their guardians can file a runaway report with police, who can order the youth to return home if they find the youth. The youth is unlikely to be arrested or detained for running away because in most parts of the United States, running away is only a status offense, like breaking curfew. Your friend may be criminally responsible for harboring a minor, however, if you stay with them. This may be information you want to think about before you run away.

              If you feel like you need further assistance, please let us know. We can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We invite you to call us any moment you need help.

              Best of luck,
              NRS

          • #42
            my dad got angry at me because i took my laptop to a friends house. he came to pick it up and then told me i have to go home ( this is like 10:45pm ). i told him i ********ing hate him and he said when you come out i will batter you. so i went upstairs grabbed my stuff, my friends dad said bye and as soon as he closed the door my dad grabbed my throat and strangled me so my shoes fell off my feet and he dragged me to the car. we drove off where he was shouting at me and swearing. i texted my stepmum emma to say what he did. we got home and i had to walk in the rain with socks because my shoes were left outside my friends house. my friends sister saw me get dragged by my jumper around my neck to the car. my stepmum had a go at ME because i shouldn’t of said what i said. i told her i wanted to live with any of my friends and i have for ages. i would do anything to just be able to walk out of my front door and go to someone’s house and stay there for as longboards as i wished. but i’m grounded.

            Comment


            • ccsmod9
              ccsmod9 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello there,
              Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline today.
              It sounds like you’re really going through a lot right now. We’re so sorry this is happening to you. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. It sounds like it took a lot of courage to come to us today.
              What you’re describing sounds like it could be considered physical abuse. We’re here to help the best we can. One thing you can do is report this incident to Child Protective Services. While this might not be the best option for some, if you wanted to report need help, we’re here for you. You could call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we’d be happy to help you report to your local Child Abuse Reporting Hotline. If you’re interested in learning more about abuse reporting in general, or you’d like to file a report yourself, please visit www.childhelp.org for more information. If you feel like you’re in danger, please call 911.
              It sounds like things are pretty rough at home right now. It also sounds like your friend’s parents might be aware of the problems you’re having. It could be helpful to confide in an adult you trust to help you talk with your parents or to discuss other options with. If you’re not comfortable talking to your friend’s parents, it might be helpful to talk with someone at your school, like a counselor or a teacher.
              If you’re not comfortable talking to someone in your life, for whatever reason, there’s no judgement. If you’d like, you could call us to discuss this issue further. Sometimes talking about what’s been going on at home can yield options that you otherwise wouldn’t have thought of. We’re here 24/7 and we’re completely confidential.
              You’re really brave for asking for help today. That can be really hard to do. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.
              Stay strong,
              NRS

          • #43
            Hey... i am a 15 year old girl and i live in colorado. my parents are divorced... my mother struggles from extreme anger issues, as well as depression in the past. she takes her anger out on me like a punching bag all the time, constantly insulting me and telling me that i'm rebellious, "controlling", and "manipulative". my father is emotionally abusive, as well as my step mother. they both treat me differently than my 3 siblings; they are passive-aggressive towards me and they are constantly using the words, "i love you" to get what they want. i've been planning to run away for years, as my parents make me feel worthless and trapped. they would never let me get emancipated, so that's out of the picture. i currently have a boyfriend, who is 16. i've been looking into staying with him (temporarily most likely), since his parents are very empathetic and they have helped people in the past. my mother would never be okay with that, but my dad might. would that be legal? do you have any advice..? i need to get out, and i have a selection of friends to stay with, as well as my boyfriend. if my mother is not okay with it, and my father is, is that technically legal? i feel so stuck.

            Comment


            • ccsmod5
              ccsmod5 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hey,
              Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in a very frustrating and stifling situation. It isn’t okay that your mom takes her anger out on you, nor is it okay that your dad has been emotionally abusive towards you. You absolutely deserve to feel safe, loved, and supported by your parents.
              We’re not legal experts, and it seems like police responses are different from state to state and even county to county. It might be helpful if you call your local non-emergency line and ask how they would handle the situation of a 16-year-old leaving with one of their parents’ consent. Generally speaking, if your mother has custody of you, she would still be entitled to file a runaway report and the police may still bring you home if they’re able to locate you.
              If you want to talk about the situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us any time at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck to you and stay strong!

          • #44
            Hey,
            I am NOT fifteen although it is right around the corner. I recently ran away from home with my mother because we were in an abusive situation. Things have been very difficult for us since,and I am beginning to realize that she is no better a parent than my father.
            I have a family that is willing to take me in.
            I want to wait until I am sixteen as I have done research and I can legally leave and she cannot send a form to the police saying I am a runaway.
            My only concern is how I get to the destination that I am wanting to live at and what I need to make myself a resident of the area.
            In no way do I want the family to adopt me as the court would then get involved, however I do want to become a resident of the state that I would be moving to.
            I have a year and five months to build a strong fool-proof plan and would like as much guidance and advice as possible.
            Thank you for taking the time to read my comment.

            Comment


            • ccsmod2
              ccsmod2 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you and your mother were in an abusive situation. Abuse is never okay. We are not legal experts but from what we know, your mother has the right to file a runaway report on you until you turn 18 unless you go through the emancipation process. You mentioned that you have a family that is willing to take you in, you could ask them if they would assist you in transportation there. You could try talking to your mother and asking her if she would allow you to stay with them or another family member. The family could get charged with harboring a runaway if you decide to stay with them without your mom’s permission. Since you are a minor, you may not have to apply for residency in another state. People typically just move to another state and get a state ID, job, and pay their taxes. If you have any additional questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), or email.

          • #45
            I want to get out of there house and move with my uncle in Florida they are lazy as ***** don't do ******** , she sit on the couch all day and talk ******** and want you to do stuff for her they constantly talking how they ready fur us to get out there house I can ***** wait when I try to she talking bout u ain't going no where but y'all just said y'all ready for us so pls ****** out of my face and let me leave
            Last edited by ccsmod7; 01-18-2018, 02:17 PM. Reason: curse words

            Comment


            • ccsmod7
              ccsmod7 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are going through a lot at home and it is taking a major toll on you. Here at NRS, we truly want to support you through this difficult time.

              That seems really frustrating that your guardian tells that they are ready for you to be gone, and then will not let you go when you try to leave. If you are 18 or older, you are typically considered a legal adult and can make your own life decisions including where you live without your guardian's permission. Unfortunately, if you are under 18 and you leave without permission your guardian can file a runaway report for you with local police and if you are found you typically would be returned home. If you are kicked out with nowhere to go, that could be considered neglect by Child Protective Services and you have the right to report it. If abuse or neglect is your situation you might reach out to expert child advocates at Child Help to explore your reporting options at 1-800-422-4453.

              You mentioned wanting to move to your uncle's house. You might reach out to him and see if he is okay with you staying there, and if he would talk to your guardians for you about leaving home. The easiest way you can leave home before you turn 18 is with your guardian's permission, and sometimes having a trusted adult advocate for your needs could help convince your guardians that it is in your best interest to live with him.

              Please call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation, or if you would like to share more details about how we can help specifically.

              We truly wish you the best with everything,

              NRS
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