Hi,
Thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are not safe at the group home since you have been physically assaulted twice and sexually assaulted while there. It is understandable to be afraid and to want to run away from this. You don't deserve to be treated this way at all.
Running away without a destination to go to is not safe, and so we hope that you will reach out to our live services. If you can call us, we can do a conference call with the police with you, or to your caseworker, or to someone in charge at the group home so that you wouldn't be alone in reporting this. We would act as your ally and advocate. Telling the police would not get you in trouble as you didn't do anything wrong, at all.
If you want to talk more about it, you can chat us as well. You can chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-292- (1-800-RUNAWAY). You deserve to be heard and protected and we would like to help you with this. We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS
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I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family
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Guest repliedHi I'm 15 and i live in a group home in AZ
One of the kids there has physically assaulted me twice and sexily assaulted me once so i have been planning on running away but im scared if i tell the police about this i will get in trouble so can someone please tell me what to do
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Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are happy to help you and provide you with support during this time.
It sounds like you’re in a difficult situation right now. We are not legal experts here, but we can provide you with some general information. Because you are still a minor, your father can’t legally kick you out of his house. However, if you do not reach out to the police/Child Protective Services (CPS) first before going to stay with your friend, your friend’s family can be charged with harboring a runaway.
There may be shelters in your area which you can go to, but you would need to contact us through either our website (www.1800runaway.org) or our 24 hour hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY) for a referral or you can email us at [email protected] and we can provide the referrals directly.
If you would like more resources to answer any other questions you might have, don’t hesitate to reach out to NRS through our website or our 24 hour hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY).
Thank you again for reaching out to us. We are here 24/7 and have someone available to talk.
Best,
NRS
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Guest repliedHello,
Ive been a problem in my house for a while my dad says, and now he's kicking me out. He says the reasons include stealing money from fathers bank account, doing things behind their backs, and more.
All of this is true, but the worst happened a long time ago, and now he's kicking me out for good just because i did not put my device in a certain spot.
He is gonna call the social worker to find a foster parent for me, but i wanna live with my friend (for this entry, i will call him Bob, for privacy reasons).
The problem is that he has his own problems in his family involving social workers as well. What can I do, and if I cant do anything, is it possible to find a place nearby?
If you think this is something i should talk about with my social worker instead, just say it, and don't include anything else please.
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Guest repliedI am 15 and I really want to live with someone else.
My mother is getting angrier and angrier at me as I grow up, I don't think she likes me maturing and learning to fend for myself. I'm too scared to even talk back to her, cause I know she'll get mad at me, and I can't take anger for some reason. Along with that, she's threatened to even hurt me a few times. But, she's nice sometimes, and I don't know if I'm overreacting. I can't even talk to anyone about this just because I'm paranoid that I'm overreacting or I'm the problem all the time. I also feel as if my mother is too focused on her own friends seeing me as a trophy child. She won't let me stop playing Violin(Which ive played for 9 years), I'm too scared to even ask her to see if we can get a DRS appointment or something about my autistic symptoms, and she's so focused on my looks and image, she won't even let me wear what I want 1/3 of the time. "I cant control you" she says, but she judges me so much, I can't help but be scared. I want to run away and live with my close friend, but theres a lot of things standing in the way.
1. I have a little brother. He's 12, and I couldn't bear to be without him.
2. I go to public highschool. I don't want to lose my progress in grades or classes, so theres no way I could leave.
3. I have a few close friends I couldnt leave.
4. My friend I trust the most lives around 4 states away, and thats a multiple day walk.
5. I'm not even close to getting my full driver's liscence.
I don't really know what to do anymore, and I don't want to get in trouble for looking for a way out. How can I figure this out?
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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Hello,
Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you reaching out and sharing what has been going on. It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home and a lot of responsibility watching the kids.
It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not legal experts, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. If you stay with your little brother’s mom, then they might be at risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. You might be able to speak to your brother’s mom or talk to a trusted adult for help with the situation as getting parent permission would be a way to live somewhere else. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
Tell us what you think about your experience!
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Guest repliedHi, I'm 15. I'm so tired of my parents and how they're treating me. To understand what's been going on let me start from when I was in 2nd grade. Usually, when A kid gets in trouble their parent will whoop them(if they're strict) and whatnot. My dad had me doing what he called punishment. I would get into a squat position near a wall and hold that stance as long as he told me to. He would even grab a huge dictionary and tell me to hold my hands out so that he could place the dictionary across my arms. This happened through 4th grade when I got in trouble up until my dad was hitting me and other such things. Then child services came over and told my dad he had to stop. They came over because I told my school counselor about what was happening at home. Fast forward to this past summer I got my phone taken away for listening to explicit music and in my email, they found spam which included things like hot girls 5 miles away. Which if anyone knows is spam but my parents called me a "liar and said I just want to watch Pornography and other things as such. Then my friend gave me a phone and two days later my dad saw it and he got mad. I didn't want to snitch on my friend so I told them I got it in the house. Then I told them my friend gave it to me but I refused to say who. My dad hit me a few times while my mom and he continued to yell at me. They then started to accuse me of stealing the phone from someone at school. I'm so sick and tired of them. Oh, the big thing I forgot to mention is I'm adopted. They want to send me back to where I came from which is Trinidad and Tobago where my mom and my brother live. I really just want to leave and go home with y friend and just stay there. At least if they don't want me anymore I can go live with my friend. Maybe even friends. Ever heard the story of Jimmy Butler, his mom kicked him out at the age of 13. He then continued to bounce around from house to house with his friends. So in conclusion I hate my foster parents and I want to go live with my friends.
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Guest repliedI'm not 15, but I'm 13 and want to move out.
I'm Jay and my dad got married to my stepmom 5 years back and things were going great at first, until they had two more kids and me and my sister have to watch them at all times, we don't have the option to be kids and were constantly getting yelled at for not watching them right. So i wanted to know if it was possible to move in with my Little Brothers Mom, she's always been like a second mom to me and when I'm over her house its like paradise, a break away from all the yelling and arguing and babies, i feel safe and feel wanted over there, so what can i do about this situation?
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Hi there,
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your grandma’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your grandma. Alternatively your uncle might be able to try and sue for custody of you. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
You also mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
Be safe,
NRS
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Guest repliedHi My Name is AJ honestly I don't know what my life is right now my dad is now a deadbeat and my mom had an aneurysm and is not in any condition to take care of us and I was forced to move in with my grandma and I hate each other and have never gotten along with each other recently I made a horrible mistake that I regret for the rest of my life when my mm had her aneurysm I stood with my dad and my uncle before he became a complete deadbeat and life was good till he got arrested for stupid things he did then I was forced to go to my grandmas but the phone that my mom used my dad had used that same phone this whole time so it had all his info on it and my grandma almost my whole life wasn't there for me so like an idiot I gave him the phone so he could get whatever info he had on that phone and give it back to me so I could give it back to my grandma that wanted the phone back but I was leaving out of town that night so I hid the phone and got busted and got shunned for what i did by my grandma then later on comes to find out my deadbeat dad stole the stimulus money and my grandma blames that on me but the thing is i had no clue how he got the money and for the past 7 months she has treated me like scum like I'm my dad when I'm not every day i wake up not to a smile but to a look as if she wishes i would dissaper she insults me all the time calls evrething i do wrong even though there is no problems wherver i go only her house and she has legal custody so i cant go against her please tell me what should i do I'm tired of taking the insults the looks she gives me and being trated unfairly when my siblings are treated fairly is there a way i can run away because she even tries to hit me and recently we got into i fight where she knocked down my tv my 180 dollar mike and my 60 dollar controller I'm so over it arealdy and i know my uncle would take me in she just doesn't let me have contact with him even though he was there for me when she wasent just because he is my dads brother doesn't make him bad please respond back I'm 15 and i really want to run away or live with my uncle i know that is best for the both of us I'm scared and i don't know what to do anymore please help.
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Hello,
Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are worried about your friends as things at home are rough for them because of how their mom treats them. It can be devastating to hear that people we care about are struggling or even thinking about ending their lives. It is understandable to want to help.
Our priority in this situation is the safety of your friends. You mentioned that the conditions at home are pushing them towards suicide. Having these thoughts and having a mom be aware of that and not actively try to prevent it can be tough. We understand that you are there to support your friends but it can be important for them to get trained help. The National Suicide Hotline is available 24/7, just like us, but they have trained counselors that are there to talk through anything that someone might be thinking or feeling.
In regards to reporting the abuse, we are not experts on the issue but generally once it’s been reported, social services will decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send someone from child protective services to do an investigation. Having proof of an unsafe home can be useful for child protective services to get a better idea of the level of danger within the household. If they determine that the youth should be removed from the household, normally they will try and talk to the youth about where they would like to be placed, then verify that it is a safe home. Then they will ask family, and foster homes are usually the last emergency resort.
If this is an option your friends would like to explore, they may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help them file a report if that is the route they are considering.
You also mentioned the option of inviting them to live with your family; come from North Carolina to California. We are not lawyers or affiliated with the police so we can’t say for sure what their specific procedures are but we would be happy to talk through the situation with you. In most states the age of majority is 18 so if the runaway(s) is/are under 18 it is very likely the parent could make a report. When a runaway report goes into the system it is able to be seen by police throughout the country, so even if the report was made in North Carolina, the police in California would see it as well. We are by no means legal experts, but we do have some general information about runaways and harboring runaways.
Since your friends are from North Carolina, status offenses and running away statutes in North Carolina will apply to them. In North Carolina, a runaway youth may be taken into custody by a police officer without a warrant. The youth’s guardian will be notified and the police will either release the youth to the guardian, or deliver the youth to a juvenile court counselor for assessment. The runaway may also be placed under the protective supervision of a juvenile court counselor.
Since your family is in California, harboring runaway laws in California will apply to your parents. In California, there is no specific law referring to harboring runaways. However, it is a crime for someone to commit an act or allow something to happen that would cause a minor to become a juvenile delinquent, a truant (a student who stays away from school without leave or explanation), uncontrollable by the minor’s guardian, or a dependent child or ward of the juvenile court. Harboring a runaway may fall within this category. Generally, youth from another state need parent or guardian permission to enroll in school in another state.
We also encourage you to tell your friends about us, National Runaway Safeline. We are available 24/7 and would love to help them more directly through live chat on our website http://www.1800runaway.org/ or by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If they are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you or them to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Best,
NRS
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Guest repliedHi I’m writing for my friends because I’m genuinely concerned for them. I’m 15 and they are 15 and almost 13, they are also siblings. We are online friends and we’ve known each other for maybe half a year. I hope being online friends doesn’t make it seem any less serious. When in calls and playing games together or just texting, they’ve told me about how their mom abuses them. So far I think it’s more emotional abuse but I was just told about how serious it is. Under the conditions, they are both extremely unhappy and it’s driving them towards suicide. Their mom is aware of how they feel and has told them of different ways to commit suicide (words along with hand motions). Their mom refuses to take care of them properly and uses them as outlets for frustration and anger. Always seems to be yelling at them, nagging them and I’ve been told even relatives don’t treat them well. On top of the emotional abuse, there is also neglect. It’s become a habit for both of them to only eat a little or not eat at all, all day. If their mom is aware of this and is just choosing not to take action, is unacceptable. I’m scared and extremely worried for them and being only online friends, there’s only so much I can do for them. I’m not sure how to reach out for help and being only 15, theres only so much I know. I want to know how I can help them and give them options for courses of action they can take. I’ve already told them to record things as proof assuming authorities and such won’t believe them if they don’t have proof. I know CPS could be of help but hearing so many stories where CPS has failed children and teens worries me. How can I help them and what can they do to get help? Also have considered inviting them to live with my family, I understand how important it is to have my parents cooperation. I just wonder how possible could it be to make this happen especially when we can’t get permission from their mom. Would also like to mention we live in completely different states (North Carolina and California). I realize living in different states could also complicate things but my priority for now is just their safety and well being.
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Hello,
Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that your family has not been supportive of your pregnancy. It sounds like you have done your best to make it work at home but your family has made it difficult for you and you would like to explore whether you can live somewhere else. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to share information that may help you decide what is next.
We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, if you are considered a minor in your state, you need the consent of your parent or legal guardian to live outside of your family home. Your first option is to try to speak with your family, as well as your boyfriend's family. If your boyfriend's family has agreed to take you in, it may help to have them there so that all parties can talk about what you would like to do, and maybe come to an agreement. If you leave without their consent, your parent or legal guardian can file a runaway report with your local police department. It is technically not illegal to run away, but it is considered a status offense in some states. If police find you, they typically return you to your parent or legal guardian. There is a possibility that whomever you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway or aiding and abetting in the delinquency of a minor. Two good resources for more information on this are your local legal aid and/or the non-emergency number for your local police department. If you would like help getting contact information for these or any other resources, or if you just want to talk, give us a call or send us a chat.
Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We will do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you explore your next steps. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help.
Stay safe!
-NRS
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Guest repliedI'm a 15 year old pregnant girl who wants to move out of my family home and move in with my boyfriend house my family tries to get me to getting an abortion but I don't want to they even talks about me setting up for adoption but I'm not going to set my baby up for adoption I cannot stand being around my family anymore because they're not being very supportive my boyfriend is three years older than me he goes to high school we've been dating for 2 years his family is very supportive my boyfriend is very supportive how can I get out of unsupportive family and move in with my boyfriend
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