I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

[Guest]

I live with my dad and stepmom. We have constantly fought over the years and they cant "handle" me so they decided for me to go live with my mom. My mom is irresponsible and does not have enough money to provide for me. Also I am moving schools and she does not have wifi so i am worried about schoolwork. I need to find a way to provide for my self while keeping my grades up. Please help

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

It’s sort of a norm for teenagers and their parents to argue or not get along. It wasn’t very fair of your dad and step-mom to send you to your moms because they can’t “handle you”. It sounds very stressful that your mom isn’t responsible and it’s understandable that you’re worrying about your school work living without wifi. We do offer conference calling options between youth and their parents. If you needed help talking with your dad about what would have to happen for you to move back with them, we can make that call with you. If you think that having a therapist to be able to talk to on a weekly basis, we have a database and can find some in your area. Maybe it would show your dad and step-mom that you’re trying make the situation better.

Our safeline is open 24/7, so we’re always here. Also, talking to a teacher or school counselor that you’re close with about what you’ve been experiencing at home, could give you more support. We can also talk more about your situation as well.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m just testing this out

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

We’re glad that you found our forums. Please feel free to reach out to us if you’re in a crisis. We’re available 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) and via chat every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. Be safe!

-NRS

[Guest]

"If things ever do get so ********ty that you don't have anywhere to go, I'm sure my parents would let you stay in our guest room and live here for a bit."

My best friend told me this when I was pleading for her to pick me up and let me stay at her place over the weekend. I spammed her messages in desperation after my parents were throwing dishes and shrieking at each other like chimpanzees with the ********ing rabies. This isn't the first time, though. The first moment I realized I was unsafe under this roof was when I was 2 or 3. My mother was ungodly outraged at my sister and I, and she took out her unbridled rage by tearing my door off of its hinges and throwing it across my bedroom. There's still a hole in my wall from its impact, so she can't exactly deny it. Although, she's tried, and she's got some pretty lame excuses up her sleeve.

I've made a list—yup, because I'm that badly pissed off—of things that prove I was raised so goddamned poorly;

- I was never taught to tie my shoes
- I don't have a dentist
- I still don't know how to properly brush my teeth... I've had to try and teach myself
- I don't have chores (Yes, some say that's a gift but that just reflects how lazy and unorganized my parents are)
- They tell me I'm wrong and I'm not doing this or that right... but they don't tell me how to fix it
- I quite literally can't recall the last time any of them hugged me, nevermind say they love me
- My father drinks beer and plays video games, my mom lays on the couch all day and picks her skin. And when I try to rest, it's wrong... ?
- The doctor writes down a therapist I should see for self harm and gives it to my mother, so she doesn't call them and tells me to hide it so my father doesn't see. Great parenting
- I vividly remember my parents spanking me when I was very young, and they just assume I was too young to remember and I'm just making up stories

The list could go on and on and on, but I don't have the patience for it. I want out. No, I don't want to give them a second chance or see a counselor, I've already tried all of the above. I want out. Now. And I am now strongly considering moving into my best friend's house. Her family differentiates so much from mine. They are sweet and loving and always ask me how my day was. The mother even asked me one time what I want to be when I grow up. My parents never ask me questions like that. Never. My friend and I slept over this weekend and she asked about self harm and such. I cried. She then told me how her family reacted to her self harm. Her mother cried. She was explicitly worried, and even slept in the same bed with her to make her comfortable. That's beautiful. Her father was angry, but he most certainly did not yell. He hugged her and comforted her, and her parents were all hands down ready to be her caregivers. That is a family I would slaughter millions for. Because unlike them, my family can only push me and bust my chops and make me feel like a downright fool for even breathing. They lecture me and tell me I am way far off in the wrong, yet they never tell me how to fix it. They can only remind me of how much I disappoint them. Sometimes I think, was it really worth all that hard labor to give birth to this creature who you despise for absolutely no given reason? I don't ********ing think so.

Is it possible to maybe... temporarily live with my friend? I mean, I know I can't change guardianship or else my parents would go to jail and my older sister—who by the way makes the situation even worse with her spoiled ass attitude—would wound up in some foster home across the damned country. But going back to what my friend told me, would I be given permission to maybe become a guest at their house for a week or so? Maybe a few weeks, a month? However long, I can't stay here any more, and I need a break. Desperately. Please tell me what I can do that doesn't involve signing papers or taking legal actions to court. Thank you.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there!

Thank you for taking the time to reach out and use all the resources available to you to figure out a safe way to take care of yourself, we know it is not always easy to ask for help. It sounds like it has been incredibly hard on you living in a home where you feel like your parents do not care for you in the way that you know you need and deserve. It makes sense that you feel the way that you do and want to get out and have some time to take care of yourself.

Again it is amazing that you reached out to us and shows how strong you are. Self-harm is a really serious issue to be dealing with and it is amazing that you have a friend who you can talk to about it. We want you to know that you are not alone and you can always go to the website “To Write Love on her Arms” at twloha.com which has resources for self-harm prevention and management. We are not legal experts, but we can give you some general information about your question of whether or not you can stay with your friend. In most states the legal age of majority is 18 which means that until you are 18 your parents are responsible for taking care of you. To our knowledge, if your parents allowed you to stay with your friend, then there should be no problem with that. However, if your parents do not want you to leave and you stay with your friend they could file a runaway report if you are under 18. This would not get you in any trouble but if the police did find you they would bring you home and it would be considered a status offense like breaking curfew. However, if your parents found out that you were staying with your friend they could press charges on them for harboring a runaway. To do this your parents would have to take your friend’s parents to court and prove that her parents knew you were a runaway. If you have any more questions or just want to talk through all of your options or just simply vent, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are here 24/7 and would be happy to talk to you.

It sounds like despite being in a really challenging situation you have handled everything so far in a very mature, responsible way. Having someone like your friend and having a place that you can go to where you feel safe is so important, and it is great that you have been able to find that.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat with us, and best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I'm fifteen and I live in Texas. I live with my grandparents. I had decided on my own that I wanted to take on a job, and I got a job. I fractured my wrist at work and was out for 2 weeks, and when I got back I was out of schedule and they then gave me more hours. I quit my job, again, it was my own will to take on that job, my grandparents had nothing to do with it. My grandparents then, kicked me out of the house and tell me to live with my mom. I greatly disagree with my mom, and that is why I live with my grandparents. My mom is not allowed me to take my computer, monitor, dog, phone, and PS4, all of which I paid for on my own. I have valuable online friends who greatly helped in life and my mom tore that away from me. I have a friend who has already offered I live in their basement, a person use to live in their basement because of parental problems, so it already has a matress and they are use to it. I want to know how I can legally leave, out of state (Keep in mind they live in New York, almost half way across the united states) legally, so I do not disturb my friends live and house with drama.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like your grandparents are forcing you to back to your restrictive mom, so you are wanting to know about your legal options for leaving to another state. That sounds like a really rough situation and hurtful that your grandparents are kicking you out; here at NRS we really want to help inform you of your options.

The easiest way you can live elsewhere is with your legal guardian's permission. You can live anywhere that they say is okay. They also can give your friend's guardian temporary guardianship of you to help you enroll in school in school in New York. Once you are 16, emancipation might be another option for you. That is the court process where you would have to prove to a judge that you are financially self-sufficient on your own and better off without the assistance of your guardian. The final way you can legally leave home at 15 is if abuse is your situation and child protective services removes you home from the home. If you are interested in reporting that option please call or chat us so we can talk more about it.

If you leave home without permission, your legal guardian can file a runaway report for you. If you are found you typically would be returned home. While running away is not a crime for you, it is illegal for a legal adult to shelter a youth knowing they are a runaway. So your friend's guardian could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway if you are found there.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation so we can try to brainstorm additional options with you. We want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 years old and I am treated like a pile of crap at my house; I have contemplated running away several times and my parents know that I do not want to be here with them. They threatened to call the cops and have me forcibly taken home if I do run away. They told me that if I did, I would be considered a "juvenile" and be kicked out of all three of my sports at school. I am constantly being degraded and insulted by them; it's like I can never do anything right. I try to act like I don't care anymore but the stuff they say still hurts. I can't even just have one nice day without my family ruining it by being ********ty to me or saying something rude. I try to keep my life together amidst all this trouble and I stay active with my sports and keep my grades up. (I am a straight-A student and a 3-sport athlete) I want to stay with my friend and her family and my parents love them but my parents most definitely will not let me leave my house even though they have said before that they want me gone. Often, I stay at my grandma's or my sister's house because I just hate being home so much. Most of the time, me and my parents just ignore each other, but when they do talk to me, it is usually something negative or degrading. I am so unhappy and I wish I could leave but they would never give me permission to. I want to leave so bad that I am contemplating just running away and just dealing with the consequences because things are so bad here. I am miserable and they rarely let me hang out with my friends or go places and do fun things. I have no social life and no phone, I also have no real support system besides my boyfriend and my best friend and her family, everyone else just is rude to me. What do i do? I don't want to be put in a shelter but if things don't change, I won't be staying here for much longer.

[ccsmod6]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like living at home with your parents is really difficult. We are here to listen to you and see how we can help.

To start, if you did run away and your parents filed a runaway report, you wouldn’t necessarily be considered a delinquent. Running away itself is not illegal, but is considered a status offense, meaning the police would just bring you back home. It sounds like your interactions with your parents are pretty stressful, so it is understandable that you would want to run away. You are allowed to live somewhere other than with your parents if they give you permission. Perhaps they would give you permission to live with your grandma or sister, since you stay there so often.

We also have a conference calling service here where we can talk with you and your parents together and discuss how you are feeling living at home. This may be a good opportunity for you to let them know how you feel with someone else on the line to mediate the conversation. We can also connect you to affordable counseling resources in your area to have this conversation with a therapist. Otherwise, some people find school counselors a helpful place to talk about how they’re feeling with someone who can also talk with their parents.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to talk more about your situation or start a conference call with your parents. Good luck and stay strong!

[Guest]

My friend is 14 and doesn’t want to live with his family anymore because they mistreat him and his sisters don’t even care that he’s alive nor his parents do.he wants to leave and never comeback just yesterday he asked if he could live with me but my mom is saying no because of these issue with the city that she’ll have what can she do for him to stay.

[ccsmod7]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really difficult at home right now for your friend. Home should be a place where they feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore options for you and your friend.

Your friend is really lucky to have you supporting them during all of this. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like your friend does not have the support they need from their family. Some options available would be to look into youth shelters or alternative living arrangements (ALAs). If you contact us directly by phone, email or chat, we can help you look up specific shelters. We can also call with you to ask them any questions you/your friend may have and also to see if they have space for your friend.
Other options could be to see if your friend has any family or other close friends that they could lie with for a while. If your friend is comfortable, they could share what’s been going on at home with someone at school that they trust, like a teacher or school counselor. Sometimes it helps to have other adults look for options for your friend. What’s most important is that your friend is somewhere safe and is not being mistreated by anyone. Your friend also has the option to report the abuse going on to the police or a school official. They could come out and investigate what’s been going on and see if they can help place them in a home or possibly foster care. There are lots of options for your friend.
Another great resource is your friend is feeling down or depressed would be to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org for a live online chat. Your friend has lots of options available.

If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you and/or your friend.

Take care,

NRS

[Guest]

I’m 13 years old, I don’t feel safe in my own house anymore. My dad screams his head off, and my moms too scared to do anything. My friend offered to let me stay at her house. I live in PA, and I’m worried that her Dad will get in trouble for hiding me. I’ve tried to go to legal advice.com, they don’t help. I’m packed up for leaving, and plan on heading out soon. Please let me know if he’d get in trouble for it, thanks.

[ccsmod2]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that your dad screams a lot and you don’t feel safe at home. You do have the right how you feel to Child Protective Services. Although verbal abuse is harder to prove, you can still make an abuse report with Child Help (1-800-422-4453), they could also provide you with information about transferring custody. Since you are a minor, your parents have the right to file a runaway report if you leave home without their permission. With a runaway report, if the police find you, they would return you home to your parents. Running away is not illegal but, if you chose to run away and stay with your friend, their dad could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) , email, or live chat. We hope this information helps, good luck.

[Guest]

I need help....

I'm 16 and live in Oklahoma. I'm very unhappy with my life due to my parents. ive barely gotten any sleep this past week due to my parents fighting all night. my dad is the only one who tries to make me happy but it doesn't work. my mom is super strict and wont let me go hangout with friends because my friends are the only people who make me happy. I told my mom I wanted to kill myself because of her and she said she didn't care. this really hurt me and all I did that night was stare at my gun. I didn't have the courage to do it but I still cried myself to sleep. it doesn't help that they don't approve of my girlfriend and shes the one who talks me out of suicide. well recently i was talking to my friend and he was talking to his parents and his parents said they were willing to take me in. ive been doing things I wouldn't normally do like drink alcohol and taking my moms car out to see my friend when theyre gone. I would never do these things if I was happy with my life but all I am is a failure. this is why I want to run away to my friends house because they actually love me.

[ccsmod5]

Hey there!

Thank you so much for contacting National Runaway Safeline during this really difficult time in your life. We are so grateful you reached out. It can be so difficult when the people in your life who are supposed to care about you and keep you safe harm you with their behavior or hurt you with their words. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. We are happy that you recognize this enough to want to get out of that environment.

Suicide
Our greatest concern will always be your personal safety. You mentioned that you are seriously contemplating suicide and that you a plan for it. We are glad that you that you are being supported by your friends and your girlfriend. You also mentioned self-medicating with alcohol. This is completely understandable given your situation. You are doing this to get by and cope in an abusive environment. However, we would like to let you know that sometimes this can be a slippery slope to more serious abuse. We are going to give you some other professional support for you to reach out to in case you need it.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

https://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Suicide Forum

https://www.suicideforum.com/

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration)
1-877-726-4727

https://www.samhsa.gov

Alcohol & Drug Helpline
1-206-722-3700


Child abuse is one of the world’s greatest crimes, and, fortunately, there are people out there who are there who are willing to help. A parent should never, ever say something as terrible as your mother has said to you. Please know that you did nothing wrong when someone constantly puts you down, leaves you feeling like you can’t do anything right, or makes you feel worthless and bad about yourself in general. It’s emotional abuse. Her need for control and avoid personal responsibility to mask her behavior is inexcusable. Here are some resources that you can contact, also please feel free to contact your local Child Protective Services:

Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline)
1-800-422-4453

https://www.childhelp.org

Psych Forums—Child Abuse

https://www.psychforums.com/child-abuse/

We completely understand why you want to run away from the heavy situation you are in. There are some legal consequences you may want to consider beforehand. The first one applies to you. Running away is not illegal, however, it is considered a status offense. This means it will not go on your permanent record, but the Juvenile Justice Court may become involved. The Juvenile Justice Court usually involves itself in the cases of repeated run away case or severe behavioral issues, but we cannot guarantee that this will not happen. In order to qualify as a runaway legally, your parents must file runaway report with the police. This will put you on the police’s radar and they will actively search for you. If your parents believe you are at a certain location, they may direct the police there first. If found, they will bring you back to your parents. The second runaway law is called “harboring a runaway.” This applies to anyone who is legally an adult who takes you in. They could be legally charged. We are not trying to discourage you. You know what is best for yourself. Considering walking away from something unhealthy is very brave. Alternatively, you could ask your parent’s permission to stay at your friend’s house. If they give their permission, it will not be considered running away.

You may also reach out to your school. They may have counselors that you can talk to about your situation who could provide you with a listening ear or some coping strategies. If you have any favorite teachers, they could be another good person to talk to. If you would like to consider going to therapy, you could contact your school as well for resources or potentially talk to your parents about it. If you call us, we can also provide you with those resources.

Please know that you are important and one day you will live away from this toxic environment and continue to have people who love and support you like your girlfriend and friend give you. Please hold on. You can always call us at 24/7 and 365 days a year. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Best wishes!

NRS

[Guest]

I am 15 years old. I don’t like my house anymore. I am going mentally insane. Everyday it’s been the same my dad says he hates me. And he just keeps nagging. I want to run away but I have multiple places I can go. Can I stay at one of them and make sure my dad does not file a runaway.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I am 15 years old.

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We are sorry to hear you are having some issues at home.
Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn.
We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You did a fine job reaching out today.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.
If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.
Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
NRS is here to listen and here to help.

We hope to hear from you soon.


Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey, I am a little bit of a tricky situation at the moment. The problem is my mother and I have been going through some problems lately and I think it would be best for our happiness if I moved out. I don't think she is abusive or anything, she has never hit me or any of my sisters it is just she is very intense and manipulative at times. I only really noticed this problem when I was admitted to hospital for clinical depression, I noticed that I would dread her visits and her invalidating comments. Over time I was discharged and went back home and I felt very alone and invalidated. She would constantly make comments like "suck it up," "get over it," and "stop being dramatic" if I was having a bad day or even a good day. Later on I was admitted again due to a suicide attempt because I could not stand another minute on the farm I live on. I know this sounds dramatic, and it is in a way, but I have discussed boarding school with her and she is fine with it, but boarding school would not be for another year. Do you think it would be a wise decision for myself to move out? She herself moved out at 16 and supported herself, and I would love to do that but a part-time job around school could not pay a small apartments rent. I don't know what to do, I don't want my mental health to suffer for another 3 years.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and to support. It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot at home, and everyone deserves to feel safe and supported.

It sounds like you are trying to put your mental health first which sounds like an important thing to do. If you need someone to talk to or if you're feeling really down or suicidal, you can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to get support. You can also reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at samhsa.gov to look for resources for counseling and other information you may want that is in your area.

It sounds like you're also thinking about moving out. Do you have a family member or other adult that you can stay with or that you trust to talk through your options with you? If not, you can reach out to us and we can walk you through what running away would look like and possibly connect you with the resources you may need. You can reach us anytime by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat at www.1800runaway.org. Let us know how we can best support you.

Good Luck,

NRS

[Guest]

I am also 15 and want to move out of my house and into a friends house. My mom is constantly working and even at home, I hardly ever see her. My grandpa is, of course, a bitter old man. But not just that. He always threatens to kill himself or kick us out. We also have a MAJOR bug infestation and I can't even get a good night's rest unless I have my medicine which was prescribed as a mood stabilizer. My severe depression and general anxiety disorder (both professionally diagnosed) began whenever me and my mom moved into my grandpa's house. I got the room of my deceased grandmother and my mom got a room that was previously a garage. My grandpa sleeps in the living room. He never gives us privacy so I always stay in my room with my bedroom door locked unless it's to leave. I already have a few people I'm pretty sure wouldn't mind me moving in with them. The only problem is my mom doesn't want me to move out.
Opinions?

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
It sounds like the situation at home is very frustrating and it’s brave of you to reach out for help. Please know that you’re not alone and that you deserve to feel heard and supported at home.
It sounds like you’ve been having a hard time communicating with your mom since you’ve moved into your grandpa’s house. You might consider reaching out to a therapist or a guidance counselor to help facilitate a conversation about what you need. Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we offer a conference call service where one of our trained liners would be able to advocate for you to your mother. It sounds like you’re feeling very stifled at home and never having privacy. You might consider developing a strategy to cope with this, like going out for long walks or taking up an extracurricular activity so that you’re not in the house as often.
You mentioned that you're struggling with depression and general anxiety. You might consider reaching out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration to locate resources in your area: 1-877-726-4727. You might also consider reaching out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255; this can be a helpful resource just to talk about how you've been feeling.
As for moving out, there are a few things to consider. While we’re not legal experts, we can speak in generalities. If you choose to leave home without parental consent, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report. If the police are able to locate you, they will return you home. If you are able to get parental consent, then there shouldn’t be any legal issues. It sounds like you’ve already brought this up with your mom and that she’s hesitant; you might consider asking about staying with a family member or another adult that your mom knows and trusts (perhaps a friend’s parents).
If you’d like to talk about your situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Best of luck to you.

[Guest]

Im 17 and i libe in Minnesota and i just cant take living at home anymore but i dont if im legal to mobe out my boyfriends dad said i could live with them because my dads painful towards me i dont know what to do i just wanna leave

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and to support.

It sounds like you're having a hard time at home and are wanting to move out. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking if you run away before you turn 18 and your parent files a runaway report, the police could return you home. running away is not a crime, but whoever you stay with could be charged with what is called harboring a minor. Because you are 17 and depending on how close you are to turning 18, the police may not take a runaway report for you. The way to figure this out would be to contact your local police and ask.

You mentioned that your dad is painful towards you. No one deserves to be mistreated. If you want to talk more about your situation or want information on child abuse reporting you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 if you want to talk more specifically about your situation and get support.

If you are close to being 18 you could also give us a call and we could action plan on how to help you in your situation to make it until you're that age and legally able to move out. Don't hesitate to give us a call.

Best,

NRS