I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

[Guest]

I'm not 15, I'm 16. For the past two years I've had severe depression, social anxoety, and unknown separation anxiety. In July of 2021, I began dating my now fiance who loves and cares for me like no other. I was 15, he was 17. We knew each other for five years before this. My mother would constantly sham me or say horrible things about him. We live with my aunt. I habe two sibling, and she has two kids as well. We don't get along. Its been this way for years. My fiance's family is perfect. They care for me and get by well. His mother didn't like me at first but when she was given guardianship by court over me that changed. It feels like their another family I can depend on.

(I must note that my younger cousin, 13, has been harassing me and touching me but when I told my mother she didn't do anything bc she's scared my aunt will kick us out.)

In August ps 2022, guardianship was revoked and I had to move in with my mother. My fiance was allowed to come, I was 16 and he was 18. Things were horrible but I was happy to have him by my sode. We had three dogs. My family complained about them even though we paid for them. My pitbull puppy had got lose without us knowing. (We were put in the shed out back with just a lamp and heater.)
I noticed his body was laying dead in the road. I cried and cried but they made it my fault. It was right in front of the house. This caught me off guard and !are my anxiety worse seeing as he was my emotional support dog. The next day, A stray dog was in the yqrd. It was my friends dog, rex. When my mom walked her dogs they all chased red down the highway, including my small dog sausage. When she got hom, she beat my dog even though he came back when the others didnt. I told her I was leaving and she demands do did so. I called my mother in law to be and asked her to come get us, she lives and hour away but she flew. In no time, she was there. My mom called the cops for kidnapping but they arrived and said they couldn't do anything bc my mom didn't have her guardian ship papers. I just had to come back bc she got them but she didn't let my fiance move in or my dog. I have severe separation anxiety regarding my fiance and I can hardly go to school without him. My doctor even suggested being homebound. My mom don't believe me, she thinks its all an act. Yesterday was Halloween and my aunt and mom dropped me and my sister off and drove away. I called, they answered the first time and gave a location so we went there but there was no one. we called back repeatedly but no answer.It was dark and were teenage girls so we were scared. I didn't know what to do so I called the cops. I told them the situation and they called but then they picked up. They lied and said we ran away, the officers wanted to take us to juvenile. No body believed me. they picked us up then yelled at us for calling the cops and not them. Its the next morning right now. I don't know what to do. Im going to leave.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out and sharing all of that. That sounds like a really frustrating situation and that things have been happening for a while with how you are being treated porrly and with guardianship getting transferred from person to person. Also it is wrong for the officers to not really help as that is their job to keep you safe. It’s understandable to want to leave after all of that went down especially after them lying and saying you ran away, when you didn’t. It could be helpful to see if your fiance’s mom could try and get guardianship again as that seems like the safest place to be. If you would like help trying to figure out places to go or how to move forward with what has happened, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 15 and I live with my stepmother (she has legal custody of me when she and my father were married). I keep trying to get into trouble to get sent away to juvie but it never happens, I've been in 3 police cases in the past month. She keeps manipulating me and keeps screwing with my head. My friend and I are going to run away to California, and go and live in la. Me and him can't take anymore of the stuff that's happening to us and we are gonna leave.

[ccsmod3]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you reaching out and sharing what has been going on. It sounds like your stepmother is making you feel like running away.

It sounds like your mom manipulates you and you want to run away to California. We want you to know that you are not alone and do not deserve to be manipulated. There is a lot of things to consider before running away. We work best when we can have a conversation with you. We would recommend calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by Live Chat, we are here 24/7.

Please call or chat soon at our website www.1800runaway.org.

National Runaway Safeline

[email protected] (Crisis Email)

1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

[Guest]

My home situation is almost exactly the same. Im 17, and I’m the middle child of the family I have two sisters, and I live with just my dad because my mom passed away due to sickness three years back. I was also adopted at birth. My adoptive dad has never been apart of my life he worked all day and would get home late. Even when I was little the only type of interaction we would have is yelling or screaming, rarely physical fighting. It’s hard to come home to a family that hates you, and will never accept the things you’re like or who you really are. I don’t even know if I’m heard at all in this house I have poured my heart out to them only to get a “your crazy, you just want to do what ever you want with no rules” and that’s not true, it never has been. I ask if they hear me pleading for help and they turn their head and get back to work as if I don’t matter. I’ve been emotionally, very few time’s physically neglected. I’m struggling in school because of my depression and anxiety and that only gives my father another reason to pick a fight and yell at me. Also being forced to have a religion, that personally scares me is terrible. If I tell my family I don’t like going to church and I would like to stay home. The answer is either “I don’t care your going bc it’s what god wants”, or them physically putting me in the car to go, or taking everything away from me till I choose to go with them. Everyday is a struggle and I just want my life inside of this house to disappear into the back of my memories for good. I also feel really guilty if I leave my little sister here bc she won’t have anyone, my older sister has already moved out. I want to leave from this toxic household. I want to run away, but how?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for sharing your situation, it sounds like it’s been really difficult for you to live in that environment. You seem like a really strong and thoughtful person and we’re sorry you’ve had to go through this.

Since you’re almost 18, you might want to choose to stay and wait until you turn 18 before leaving, mainly because it’ll be a lot less complicated. However, if you can’t stand to be there any longer then that’s also understandable. If you ran away to your friend's house, then there are a few things that may be helpful to know. Your family could report you as a runaway since you’re still a minor, however this just means that the police will be looking for you and will take you home if they find you. Your friend and their family won’t be in any trouble unless they actively lie to the police or try to hide you, in that case they can be charged with hiding a runaway. However, since you’re almost 18, there’s a chance the police won’t be looking too hard to find you, it just depends.

Also depending on what your family is like, you could just tell them that you’re leaving or maybe leave a note just to let them know you’re okay and not a missing person. You could also ask them if they would let you go, but if that isn’t likely then don’t feel pressured to.

We hope everything works out well and that you can find some peace and a better environment. You don’t deserve abuse or neglect in any form, and you have a right to a safe and supportive home. Please reach out to our chat line at any time if you need any help.

[Guest]

Hi….I am 15 and live in Washington state and I would like to just get out of the house when I turn 16 but I’m not sure if my parents would say so.

Ever since my bio mom left me for drugs and her boyfriend who got her on drugs my dad took custody of me, this happened in 2015 when I was 9. I now live with my step mom and bio dad. However, ever since sixth grade happened and I started to experience teenage things my step mom hasn’t been the best. Don’t get me wrong, I love my step mom, I do, but it’s been getting harder to confess that ever since I was in the sixth grade. Basically, me and my step mom don’t get along the best and we tend to butt heads A LOT and I mean all the time. When ever I mess up or make a mistake I get harshly yelled at and talks that can go on for 3 hours (not kidding). My step mom can be very negative, she constantly yells at me and its just really tough to handle being degraded and unaccepted by my parents all the time. She has a hard time looking at the positive things in me, where she tends to look more on the negative more. In some of the arguments that we have she’ll call me names that you shouldn’t EVER call your child, she gets really angry and will slam things around, I remember this last one we had (before Christmas) it got really bad and I ran into the bathroom (the only room with a lock on the door) and cried so much. Another one she told my dad that she couldn’t wait until I’m out of the house. I have put my family in a stressful situation I feel like because my move in with my dad just happened, like they weren’t aware of everything that was happening until all of a sudden, and I think it’s just stressful on them just as much as it is on me, I also have 2 half siblings that are 11 and 8, sister and little brother, me and my sister don’t have the best of times rather than me and my brother where we are closer than me and my sister are. The main problem is mainly my step mom, my dad is like my hero but he won’t stand up for me. I also feel like my dad is choosing her over the child like my bio mom did with the drugs and I feel like nothing. I would like to just get out of the house when I turn 16 but I’m not sure if my parents would say so, I think it would just be a lot better on everybody in the house as well, I have a couple of friends who would gladly (in their words) let me love with them but I don’t want my parents to go off on me again if I bring it up especially my step mom. When i get out of school I don’t want to go home, I’d honestly rather stay at school in a plain building than go home. What can I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help—that takes a lot of bravery. It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time right now with life at home with your stepmom. We are sorry to hear that home isn’t a place where you feel supported and loved unconditionally. You deserve to feel safe at home and not experience yelling on a daily basis.

It sounds like you are considering your options on how to best deal with this situation. You mentioned thinking about leaving home and going to stay with a friend. While we do not blame you for wanting to leave the situation and are glad you have supportive friends, we do want to mention some things so you can make the best decision for you. So, although we are not legal experts here at NRS, we can do our best to offer some suggestions about your question of leaving home before turning 18 years old: If you go to stay at a friend’s house without parental permission for over 24 hours (the exact timing depends on which state you live in), you parents could potentially file against your friend’s parents with something called “harboring a runaway.” This is a legal term for kidnapping. Might sound extreme, we understand. If your parents don’t know this friend and do not know where to look, they could also file a missing child report to their local police department. Law enforcement will collect basic information about you that will go into a national database, and they can then return you home in the event you are found.

That being said, we can offer temporary youth shelters for you in your local area, but given your age, your parents may still need to consent for you to stay there. If you call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or reach out via chat at 1800runaway.org, we’d be happy to provide those resources for you.

If you still do decide on leaving, we want to acknowledge that it’s great you are prepared with bags and clothing. One thing you may want to think about is what else would you need if you were to leave home? Any medical records, identification documents, birth certificates, etc., that may be helpful to have for the future if you do not return home. If you take medications, perhaps bring them with you as well as any other valuable items that are yours. We’re sure you have already thought all this out, too, but if you do decide to leave, perhaps tell a trusted friend or relative of where you intend to go and please be cautious and place your safety as utmost priority (if you ever feel unsafe, you can text the word “safe” to 4HELP (44357) to receive a message of the closet Safe Place to go.
Another idea is to consider if there is anything that you can change right now to reduce time spent at home. Perhaps, join an afterschool program or sports team to reduce the number of hours you have to be home or find an activity or even job that could give you more freedom and less time spent at home. Many towns and cities have organizations such as a “Boys & Girls’ Club” (www.bcga.org or (404) 487-5700 or YMCA ((732) 290-9040) which is a place where you can meet people your age afterschool, enjoy your time, but remain away from home until later in the evening. This may allow you to meet new people in a way that seems “normal” to your stepmom who may be more controlling when it comes to where and who you can spend time with. In other words, you can obtain freedom by doing it in such a way that mom doesn’t feel entirely threatened.

You also shared how you feel depressed and cope with self-harm. We are so sorry to hear that you are hurting. If those feelings come again, there is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline available 24/7 at 988 and the Mental Health American Agency that can help you locate a local mental health support group at 703-684-7722. Another resource is the 24-Hour Mental Health Delegate Line at 215-685-6440. We care that you receive the mental support you deserve.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help—that takes a lot of bravery. It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time right now with life at home with your stepmom. We are sorry to hear that home isn’t a place where you feel supported and loved unconditionally. You deserve to feel safe at home and not experience yelling on a daily basis.

It sounds like you are considering your options on how to best deal with this situation. You mentioned thinking about leaving home and going to stay with a friend. While we do not blame you for wanting to leave the situation and are glad you have supportive friends, we do want to mention some things so you can make the best decision for you. So, although we are not legal experts here at NRS, we can do our best to offer some suggestions about your question of leaving home before turning 18 years old: If you go to stay at a friend’s house without parental permission for over 24 hours (the exact timing depends on which state you live in), you parents could potentially file against your friend’s parents with something called “harboring a runaway.” This is a legal term for kidnapping. Might sound extreme, we understand. If your parents don’t know this friend and do not know where to look, they could also file a missing child report to their local police department. Law enforcement will collect basic information about you that will go into a national database, and they can then return you home in the event you are found.

That being said, we can offer temporary youth shelters for you in your local area, but given your age, your parents may still need to consent for you to stay there. If you call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or reach out via chat at 1800runaway.org, we’d be happy to provide those resources for you.

If you still do decide on leaving, we want to acknowledge that it’s great you are prepared with bags and clothing. One thing you may want to think about is what else would you need if you were to leave home? Any medical records, identification documents, birth certificates, etc., that may be helpful to have for the future if you do not return home. If you take medications, perhaps bring them with you as well as any other valuable items that are yours. We’re sure you have already thought all this out, too, but if you do decide to leave, perhaps tell a trusted friend or relative of where you intend to go and please be cautious and place your safety as utmost priority (if you ever feel unsafe, you can text the word “safe” to 4HELP (44357) to receive a message of the closet Safe Place to go.

Another idea is to consider if there is anything that you can change right now to reduce time spent at home. Perhaps, join an afterschool program or sports team to reduce the number of hours you have to be home or find an activity or even job that could give you more freedom and less time spent at home. Many towns and cities have organizations such as a “Boys & Girls’ Club” (www.bcga.org or (404) 487-5700 or YMCA ((732) 290-9040) which is a place where you can meet people your age afterschool, enjoy your time, but remain away from home until later in the evening. This may allow you to meet new people in a way that seems “normal” to your stepmom who may be more controlling when it comes to where and who you can spend time with. In other words, you can obtain freedom by doing it in such a way that mom doesn’t feel entirely threatened.

You also shared how you feel depressed and cope with self-harm. We are so sorry to hear that you are hurting. If those feelings come again, there is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline available 24/7 at 988 and the Mental Health American Agency that can help you locate a local mental health support group at 703-684-7722. Another resource is the 24-Hour Mental Health Delegate Line at 215-685-6440. We care that you receive the mental support you deserve.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS