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I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

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  • So my friend is living with his mom, even though his dad has custody of him. The dad and the mom had an agreement for him to live with his mom, but now she is making him go live with his dad because she is tired of him. His dad has custody of him, and agrees to him moving in with me and my family, is it okay? Does his mom still have a say so? My friend is 16 and I'm 15. If we had his dad write a letter saying that it would be okay, everything would be good, until his mom steps in. His mom doesn't like me, but his dad

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Since we are not legal experts, you might consider asking your parent’s and his father to go over the legal details of any custody or legal arrangements and if they plan to consult a lawyer.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We wish you and your friend good luck.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • Hi. I just turned 13 in September. My mom is physically and mentally abusive, manipulative, and a narcissist, let's not mention how shes racist. I love my mom, but i ran away last year to my father's and i stayed there for about 8 months and came back to my moms because i thought she had changed. I started snapping at her because she kept asking me obvious questions over and over, and supposedly i had an "attitude" and i changed my mother when in reality she had plenty of time to change while i was gone. She went back into her old habits almost immediately. Screaming at the top of her lungs when i leave a piece of trash on the floor, backing me up in a corner sticking her finger in my face and poking me in the face, pulling my hair at the roots to make me look at something, hitting my sister so bad to where she screams out of fright just for disagreeing with her on a topic. The other night my mom was hitting my sister repeatedly and my sister couldn't even talk because she was so distraught. My mouth moved before my brain could think out of fright. "stop! Leave her alone!" My voice was shaking and i was crying. My legs were shaking and my heart was beating so fast out of my chest i couldn't even move. i was so scared. I cried myself to sleep that night. The only person who loves me without any "but's" is my dad and my best friend. My best friend, her mother, and her step mother have seen how she abuses me emotionally and physically. I get called names like "fat ass, idiot, dumb mother********er, goddamn **********, mother********er" etc. Im so conscious about my weight that i stopped eating breakfast and sometimes throw up my food because of my mom's harsh insults. I want to go live with my bestfriend because my dad is in the hospital because he had a stroke, and will continue to be there for another few weeks. I used to cut myself and scratch myself until i bled because of the life i'm living. I never got help for suicidal thoughts and being anywhere other than here would make my life so much easier. My best friend's family is financially stable, has 6 kids, and two parents who live with them. I love being there because it's a sense of relief just being with someone who makes me feel loved and gives me a shoulder to cry on, instead of having a shoulder im scared of. My mom told me she would kill me once, i'm so scared of her sometimes. Is it okay if my mom has told me multiple times to get the f**** out of her house at least every week so i could move in with my best friend? of course i wouldn't tell her where i was going, but if i was to move, my mom would not let me take anything she bought for me. Im a minor so she bought me everything. I don't understand how you can do that to someone you "love." and sometimes i get so stressed out i start hitting myself. Someone please help me .

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      It’s really brave of you to reach out for help, we understand how hard it can be. It sounds like you are living in a difficult home and have been dealing with this for a long time. You don’t deserve to be physically or mentally abused by anyone. You should live in a home where you feel loved and safe. You briefly talked about suicidal thoughts and self harming. If you still are having those thoughts you can reach out to us (1-800-run-away, or 1800runaway.org) 24/7, or the National Suicde Lifeline (800-273-8255). Or if you start cutting again there are resources that are available to talk with you. You can again reach out to us, or to an organization called To Write Love on Her Arms (https://twloha.com/find-help/). Your safety is our number one priority.

      You also discussed abuse your mom is putting you and your sister through. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. It sounds like this isn’t new behavior from her and has led you to leave before. It seems like you really wanted her to change while you were gone. It is understandable to want that and give her another chance. It can be disheartening when nothing has changed after trying again. It sounds like you have grounds to file an abuse report to get help. We can help you through the process, or another resource is Child Help (1-800-422-4453) can walk you through the process.

      It sounds like you have a real supportive friend. That’s great their family is willing to take you in. You mentioned your mom has kicked you out before. That is a form of neglect. She has a legal obligation to give you a safe home until you are 18. If you do want to live with your friend and can get her to agree to let you, it’s called an alternate living situation. Sometimes it’s enough to get her permission in writing, and sometimes there is more official paperwork you can fill out at the police station. If you can do it this way, you won’t have to worry about the police looking for you, or your friends parents being charged with harboring a runaway. Again we are proud of you for reaching out. If you want to talk more specifically about your situation or any of the options mentioned here please feel free to reach out anytime.

      We are here to listen, here to help. Good Luck!
      -NRS

  • Hi I'm 14 and I want to live with my friends family the reason why I want to move out is because I can't stand my family anymore they ignore me they think it's my imagination when I see things that I know is there but they say it's just your imagination.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      It seems like you are very frustrated that your parents aren’t supporting your mental health and helping you through this tough time of seeing things and them dismissing it instead of helping you. You deserve to have support for this and it might help to talk to a school counselor about what is happening and ask for a personal counselor for more help.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • im 15 and i want to live with my friends family.....
    ive been thru mental abuse from both of my parents and i talked to my mom and she said that i am allowed to leave i just need to tell her when and she said im allowed o come back when ever i want and my parents didn't legally adopted me and on paper i dont have parents s could i stay ant my friends house with out legal complications

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are so glad that you have decided to reach out to us today.
      It is really difficult to have to go through mental abuse and it is unfortunate that you are dealing with that. You may want to consider talking to a school counselor or a trusted teacher about the mental abuse. They can offer you resources and can offer you support; you do not have to deal with this alone. Another resource that may be helpful for you is called NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
      We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. In most cases the legal age to leave home without permission is 18 years old. You mentioned that your mother would be giving you permission so you most likely would be able to leave without legal precautions. It may be a good idea to get her permission written down for evidence in case she was to change her mind.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are available 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • I am 15 and things have not been going smoothly. I live with an alchoholic stepfather my mother and my half brother and stepbrother. For years me and my brother have been being treated unfairly and we are degraded by our stepfather. Since we are not his biological child he treats us like we are disposible pieces. When I was younger he always degraded my self body image and how I look calling me fat and that I need to lose weight.This went on for years until I started losing weight than all of a sudden he started making sexual comments towards me and my body and how I look. He believes that i am a female that I have nosay and that because i am a female and under the age of 18 I have no opinion. I am always grounded for speaking up for whats right or what I believe in.He smashes my stuff such as laptops,glass items off of my shelves knocks down shelfs etc destroying almost anything valuble I have to me. Recently I have been diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa,Severe Anxiety,depression and Adhd. This has been hard on my mental health and the thingsthat go on behind in my house my mom and stepfather believe that my issues are all my falut and that they are not a big deal and that they dont matter. They took away my door handle for a longtime so i wouldhave little to no privacy and then they put one on the outside so that they can lock me in my room as they please. Recently my step aunt came over and started doing drugs at our kitchen table and my step father was supporting it fully saying that i am a women and that i have to do as he says and listen to him and my step aunt because of my gender they like to be rude and snotty to me purposly making my self esteem lower which makes my suicidal thoughts worse.there was some physical violence outside between my mom and aunt that has been really scary. My stepfather is extremely rasict, homophopic and sexist and makes me feel ashamed of who my father is and what my gender is. I expressed myself to my friend and they are offering me a place to stay but i am only 15 is it a possibility that I can stay with there family?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things at home have been pretty challenging for you, especially in how your stepfather has been treating you, and we're sorry to hear that. It seems like you are such a strong person who is trying to safeguard your mental health, and we commend you for the steps that you are taking in doing so.

      In receiving your recent diagnoses, have you been seeing a mental health professional, like a therapist or a psychiatrist? Either way, it might be a good idea for you to try and talk with someone about how you're feeling. Having a firm diagnosis is a great start, but ongoing support is super important--whether you have a diagnosis of something or not. And because it seems like you're not getting the most support at home, this is an alternative way to further build your own. If connecting with someone is something that you'd be interested in, you can reach out to your school social worker or counselor to get that process up and running. If you're unable (or unwilling) to do so with them, please feel free to reach out to us here at NRS and we can provide you with local counseling services in your area.

      In terms of you living with your friend's family: it's certainly possible, but there are things to consider in making that sort of decision. One thing we always encourage when young people are considering leaving home and staying with someone else is to see if your parents would agree to that arrangement. That's generally the one way that you can make a move like that without being at risk of police involvement or other legal ramifications. If your parents decline or you leave without them knowing and they know where you are, it's possible that your friend's parents could find themselves in trouble with the law for harboring a runaway, though these laws do vary from state to state. It's also good to know that if you leave without mention, your parents may file a runaway or missing persons report.

      If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on at home, talk over your thoughts or any plans you might have, learn more about laws in your state, or find a referral to local counseling services, we'd love to connect. We're available 24/7 and you can reach us by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org.

      Take care.

      NRS
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