I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

[Guest]

(Please respond ASAP and if you can please delete this later so nobody can find it) I am 13 years old and I’m from California. I live with only my mom because my dad is a gang member/drug addict/ etc. and I’m not allowed to live with him. Anyhow, whenever I am at home I am mentally and sometimes physically abused. I don't want to give out too much info but she has done horrible things to me. One time last year, she hurt me so bad I had to get stitches, but of course she refuses to take responsibility for her actions. Second, she busted up my lip so bad two yrs. ago that when I went to school, they called the police on her. She got in my face and told me "you better tell the truth." think about that, but daily. Obviously she doesn't get the police involved daily, but she does often hurt me or my brother physically for no reason. She once hit my brother with wood and has given him an eye problem. as far as the mental abuse, she is constantly making comments about me, I can't pin my finger on all of them, but every day she says something like, "I hate kids" "why did I have kids" and constantly complains about how imperfect we are. She will compare me to my other siblings all. The. Time I have once pranked my little sister that I was adopted and she went to ask my mom and my mom goes, "she's not but if she wants to be I can figure something out." it's pretty clear that she hates when I am happy. Whenever I’m happy she makes a face and then says something to make me feel bad about myself. She screams at me all the time and psychotically runs at me. When my baby sister starts screaming like my mom, she blames it on me, sometimes my siblings too, but still. She never. Ever can own up to her actions, she's always right. Another thing, she will sit here and call me all kinds of names destroying my mental health and threatens to send me to juvi or military school. One time, I asked her something from upstairs and she screamed at the top of her lungs to come downstairs and ask. Once I did, she called me psycho. She treats me like I’m crazy when I make a mistake. It’s obvious she has some problem. I frequently visit my grandparents, and it's not half as bad as my moms, but it's still pretty bad. They have never, ever physically abused me, but they mentally have a lot. My grandpa will make comments about me "oh she's actually doing work" "oh my goodness you actually care about your grades" or for example, I was playing with my siblings and cousins and we were making like a body tower I guess. I was on my little sister and he goes "I know you like to hurt people but get off of her" LIKE SIS NOBODY WAS TRYNNA HURT NOBODYYYYYY. Then he goes to the kitchen and I hear him talking to my grandma. She goes "you're right, she says she's playing but all I see is her trying to hurt people and enjoying it" LIKE HUHHHHH???? It’s literally slap boxing, and I have never hurt them. ******** you think slap boxing is? PLAY FIGHTING. Nobody gets hurt. They just find every reason in the world to attack me. I feel like ********. Whenever my sister talks disrespectfully to them they just ignore her comments and say nothing. She never gets in trouble but they claim she does. When she gets mad when asked to wash the dishes or something, they ignore her. But for me? Oh sis it's a whole musical. If I sigh or something they get all up on me and they get pissed. Like ok I’m sorry for being disrespectful but really? And whenever I try to help out and clean without asking it's NEVER appreciated. They’ll ask who did it and I’ll be like "me" and they'll go "there's something here" or "part of the job is sweeping" or "you missed that area" LIKE SAY THANK YOU OMG. Nothing is ever good enough for them. I’m also ALWAYS judged there. Everybody is so ********ing judgmental they think they’re perfect. My sister sneaks in and tiktok and stuff right. I gave her the screen time code because my mom took all of that off because of our grades so we're being sneaky about knowing the code. Well one time my friend came over and I was on snapchat in the car. My sister, not knowing how, said how I have it. And she kept asking. My grandpa repeats her. When he does that that means if I had it he was gonna tell my mom. I had to lie and say it was another app. but now my sister knows it and my grandpa sees her on it all the damn time. she even snitched on me and showed a video that I took and posted on Instagram (before I couldn’t have ig so my mom saw it already) and apparently I was acting "ghetto." she goes on all these other apps all the time and my grandpa knows damn well, he can’t pretend he doesn’t. And what does he do? He doesn’t care. If that was me I would’ve been grounded for a whole month, my mom changed my code for screen time already so idk it anymore but really? Favoritism at its highest. They claim it's not favoritism though. pretty much at my mom's all I feel is hatred and I feel like I’m a ********ing mistake and I know for a fact she hates me. At my grandparents I feel judged and I feel like the least liked. I mean I feel SOME love when I’m there, at my mom’s I feel zero. I have taken (overdosed) pills countless times and the worst that's happened is I’ve gotten sick. I hate when I get to that point but I can’t take this anymore. I literally hate myself because of my family. School has nothing to do w it. Sure people at school suck and they make me feel like ******** too but it doesn’t even get to me as much as this toxic ass family. I wanna move with my best friend but her parents are divorced and she switches. I don’t know what to do. Bro I’m not even allowed to contact anybody who’s related to my dad I ********ing hate that. My other grandma is literally dying and I can’t even call her. If I ask my mom starts screaming at me asking me "do you wanna end up showing your boobs on the internet??" I can’t run to them, they're ghetto gang.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things in your life right now.
It sounds like you’re fearing that the stress from the situation is getting harder and harder to handle.
We are sorry you are going through a tough emotional time.
Having your family react the way they do must be upsetting and frustrating.
You do not deserve to be abused by your mother. It’s not your fault that she has done this to you. There are laws to protect children against abuse. We can assist you to make a report or you can choose to do it on your own. One way to report this is by talking with a teacher or counselor at school. With schools being closed counselors should still be available to speak with.

Sometimes when things are too stressful it might help to talk with someone about it.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this.
NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). You are welcome to discuss your situation and talk about possible options for help. What you did today by reaching out was great. Good job.
To report child abuse contact Child Help 1-800-422-4453 www.childlhelp.org
If you are feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts contact the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I live with my mom and have already called cps before on her because she’s abusive. She’s a good financial parent but when it comes to her anger she takes it out on me. My father lives in Georgia and she wants to make me live with him but I want to stay up here so I can finish Highschool. My dad is nice in his own way but is also Misogynistic sometimes. I already asked my friend’s mom and she’s offered me to live there if I don’t feel safe at my home. I want to legally move in with her so I can finish my life on a positive note and avoid the negativity from my parents.

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things have been very difficult and stressful for you due to your mom’s anger and that she takes it out on you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You have been very strong and are brave to reach out to us.

It is understandable that you want to live in a place that you can feel safe, and we are glad that you called cps on her. If they allow you to live in an alternative location, then you’d be OK, but someone would have to give you permission, like a state authority or your custodial parent.

We hope that you will reach out to us either by phone or chat so that we can talk this over. The best way for us to help you is by listening to you and helping you to figure some options to help in your situation. We are here for you 24/7 either by calling 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org
We are confidential and are here 24/7 to listen and help.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

hi, I am 16 years old. my name is melody. I live in a really mentally abusive home. I only live with my mother. I am constantly manipulated and abused mentally and emotionally in my home. I have been physically abused once before a year ago. it left bruises all over my arms and legs. recently a fight broke out. my mom lied and manipulated my father who lives 3 hrs away convincing him that I am the problem and that she wants me to be shipped to his house. the constant strain of stress and anxiety I have because of her mentally puts me down. I am constantly degraded as a human and as a daughter. I get called names and askd constantly if im stupid or dumb. I see the mental abuse and other people see it too. my boyfriends grandparents and parents want to call child services and they want me to move in with either the parents or grandparents. I want to be emancipated but my mom responded with " you're not going to get what you want" and then proceeded to laugh about it. im so exhausted mentally and emotionally. she had caused me to have suicidal thoughts and has made me believe that im the problem. when deep down I know I'm not. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to find a way out. I am not a bad kid. I focus on my grades I strive for straight A's I try and try but nothing is ever good enough. I get no love and I return no love. what could I do to get out of this situation? I have no family around where I live. I would honestly like to stay here and finsihs highschool. please help

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. No one deserves to be treated that way at all. You are very strong to go through something like that and still keep pushing and fighting for a better life for yourself.

We do want to say that it must be very hard for you to have to go through all of this. It sounds like a very stressful situation for you at home and you find it hard to cope with certain things. You shouldn't be afraid to tell other people what you are thinking about doing especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. Since you stated that sometimes your thoughts drift towards suicide, a good resource might be to call the ‘National Suicide Hotline’ for someone to talk about what thoughts you might be thinking at the time. Their number is 800.273.TALK. They also have an online chat service that might be of help to you especially if you don’t feel like calling in (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/). There is also “NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)” that you can reach out to as well (https://www.nami.org/help).

It’s really hard to control other people’s actions and how they treat you, but one thing that you can control is how those certain actions are going to make you feel and what you take to heart. Especially when your mother starts to make you feel bad (ie. yelling at you, calling you names, or telling you that you’re wrong). It might be helpful to talk to someone that we really trust so that you have some support during this hard time in your life. It can be quite isolating to have to deal with this treatment every day and not have anyone to talk to it about. You might also do some self-care activities that you can practice on your own whenever you’re feeling a little down.

Some things that you can think about doing is, setting small goals and celebrating them when they are achieved, maybe make a list of positive traits that you like about yourself (personal or public traits), trying your very best to refrain from comparing yourself to others or negative thoughts on your life, maybe establishing a hobby that makes you feel good about yourself, even try challenging your negative thoughts by asking their validity or by rethinking them in a positive manner (i.e. turn "I am a slow worker" into "I am a worker who takes time to do well at a task"). Starting a journal could also help you with these task. Does this sound like something that you can do? Having it all written down in front of you can put things in prospective on how many great things you do from day to day and not have your mother’s voice on your head telling you otherwise.

Since moving out under the age of 18 years old is such a common question that we get and can be easily found on this thread, we aren’t going to get into what would happen if you left without permission from your legal guardian. If you have some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now you can reach out to us via our 24-hour hotline and online chat.

[Guest]

Hello I am 15 years old and all my life my parents have treated me like ******** constantly blaming me on their mistakes and when I try to tell them that it is not they yell and throw things at me and my mom kicks me in the stomach and tells me to go kill myself and my dad well he just drinks and when he gets drunk he starts throwing glass cups at me but never my siblings they are the perfect children the are like why are you being so weird be like your sister she never talks back be like your brother at least he is smart. You're not smart you know At least some people have their looks but you don't have that either.
The only place that I feel safe is far away from them but when I call for help for DHR they put on their nice perfect parents facade and act nice but when they leave all hell breaks lose

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

im a 15 year old girl, and honestly im just not happy in my house. My parents are super strict, racist, and have anger issues. occasionally my mom gets mad to the point she hits both my brother and i. im sick and tired of everytime i have a different race friend thats either male or female they are racist about it. Its 2020 things need to change, and my parents are constantly negative towards us, they rely on us to constantly serve for them, they rarely let us go out. and my boyfriend who is 16 is hispanic, they are really racist towards him and the fact they cant respect my boyfriend or my friends or OTHER people is not cool. I want to live with a friends family, maybe my boyfriends family. But one thing is there is NO WAY in hell im going to be able to talk about it with my parents, theyll just send me back into foster care or in a detention center, btw theyre my adopted parents. ive wanted to run away recently but im afraid theyll find me and put me in a detention center and if i call 241 kids ill just get placed in a foster care and that is a terrible experience and im not wanting that. My family is just a negative spot and it has been for a long time and im not happy at all. i care about my future in school and life but with this family always tearing me down ill never get there and i want to move out .

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we are so glad that you reached out.
It is super frustrating that your parents are racist towards your friends and your boyfriend. Often this may be because of their own insecurities and might not even have anything to do with your friends or boyfriend. It still does not make it acceptable and we are sorry you are having to deal with all this. One option to consider may be talking with a counselor about what you are going through. We know many schools are closed but some school counselors are still meeting with students virtually. Talking to a professional or a trusted adult can help you explore options and provide you with resources.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 and want to move out I’m almost 16 (in a couple weeks). Anyways, my parents call me “useless” and “worthless” and that its my fault their arguing. They tell the whole family all my dumb secret mistakes and overall its been really hard on me.its been going on for 2 years. They treat me way different than my brothers...they isolate me from everyone. Is it possible to move out and go to my friends??? They’ve already offered it to me..in fact they gave me the idea.

[ccsmod16]

Hello there –

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are here for you through these tough times we are facing, and are happy to answer any questions you may have regarding runaway or homeless youth.

I understand that you are 15 years old, and in most states the age of majority is 18 years old. This means that someone under 18 is the responsibility of their parent. If you were to move out of your parents’ house without their permission they could possibly file a runaway report. This is a report filed with your local police office that would allow the police to return you to your parents’ custody if you were to come in contact with them. We are not legal experts here at NRS but we would like to make you aware of possible outcomes.

You may want to consider talking with your parents to arrange an alternate housing agreement. This means that your parents give their permission for you to live with a family member or a friend for the time being. This is something your parents would have to agree considering you are 15 right now. Maybe coming up with a solid plan about what you’re planning on doing, how everything is going to work, and any miscellaneous things could be helpful in them seeing how much work you have put into this plan.

If you would like more information regarding your situation we urge you to reach out to us on our 24/7 toll-free number at 1(800)-RUNAWAY. We can give you case specific information as well as resources to help you navigate this decision.

[Guest]

I’m a 14 year old girl tuning 15 in a few months. I was adopted at 5 and they have so many issues. I am like a slave to them. I have to do so much work. If I don’t do the stuff I get in trouble. My parents don’t let me really go anywhere. My mom hates my and my sibling constantly pick on my. My dads a drinker and is always in a bad mood when he drinks. I hate it here. I didn’t even want to get adopted by them I just didn’t have a choice. I want to leave but I don’t know if I should I don’t think they would let me. They don’t even want me at my friends house. Every time I make a tiny mistake they act like I just committed a crime. I want it to change.

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i am 15 years old and want to move into my friends house: my parents are divorced and i am currently living with my dad due to the fact that my mom lives 4 hours away. My dad wants to move to England by next year and i am not prepared to do that because i will only see my mom once a year. I really want to finish high school in my home town

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am a fifteen year old living in a house with a father that says he loves me and all that bs, but he hits me and beats me over things that are as simple as having the open to check the mail. I want to move in with my friend and his parents so that I don't have to be around him anymore. I am already going to college and I am still in high school. I am currently in the process of trying to get a job so that I can support myself while I'm at his house. Would I be able to move out if he has given parental consent by telling me to pack my sh*t and get the f*ck out of his house?

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is awful that your father is treating you in such a hurtful and inappropriate manner. It is absolutely not okay for him to be physically violent with you in any situation. It is great that you are still able to succeed in school and that you seem really capable despite the circumstances.

It might be wise to consider reporting what is going on. If you want to know more about what that might look like and what might come of it, don’t hesitate to reach out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. They can help you understand the abuse reporting process.

We are not legal experts, but we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. Unfortunately, as a minor, your parents still have the right to determine where you live. If you left home without their permission, they could file a runaway report with the police.While it is NOT illegal to run away from home, a runaway report would mean that if the police encountered you or knew where you were, they could notify your guardian and then return you back home. In terms of consent from your parents, they have the right to take back their permission at any point as your guardian.

It might be a little easier for us to provide guidance if we knew a little bit more about what was going on. If you want to continue this conversation and figure out what other options there might be, please give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I would like to Iive somewhere else where I can still be able to do what I want but live in a better lifestyle where I’m at rn very dirty mold everywhere flies ants are always in my bed the house is treated horribly but if you ask my grandma she would say it’s my fault or my moms I need somewhere to go where it’s clean but I can do what I want like a friends house would I be able to do that?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help. We are sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time.
You deserve to live in a good and safe environment. Have you considered bringing this up with anyone else like another adult relative ? Talking to a school counselor can also be helpful.

You also have an option to call the Child Help USA hotline to file a neglect report if you choose saying your living situation is not safe. You can call them at 1-800-422-4453.
Leaving home can hard and unsafe in many situation. It is important to think about where you might stay and how you might pay for living expenses. While we are not legal experts speaking generally if you are to leave home without your parents permission the police can bring you back home and whoever you stay with can be charged with harboring a runaway and get in trouble.

This can be a lot to think about and you are not alone. We are here to support you during this hard time. If you would like, you can call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-786-2929 and we would be happy to listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources.

We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

Ok so I'm 15 and I really don’t like living in this house I ran away and the second time I did I got beat and my made me stay with my friend which was where I ran off to and I didn’t mind it at all, I loved it there I was treated so much better there his mom said I could stay as long as I wanted but my mom made me come back these rules at our house is observed I have to do everything and when I ask why I get punished even more she has been abusive to all my sibling when she is mad 9/10 she is mad at someone or something and takes her anger out on my siblings I can’t stand it here at all I never want to come back if I can leave this place I just want to stay with friend not because of video games it's just I like it a lot better there his mom is really nice and treats me like I'm her son and I like it. I know it's legal stuff that has to happen to not come back home but I know if I try to get my mom to agree to anything I will get everything taken and just treated even more poorly and even beat again we also constantly move because of our step dad and her who argue almost every day even physical and destroys the whole house I can’t take it anymore I just want to leave without her going to jail or getting beat even more for wanted to leave what should I do?

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

With everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. It’s not your fault that this is happening. You the right to want to feel safe.

You also have the right to file an abuse report to Child Protective Services.
Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or maybe even your friend and their mother.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 9-1-1 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 and I don’t have a bad life. I used to be extremely over weight which has now caused me to have bulimia. I also have anxiety and experience panic attacks. I moved away from my bow town when I was 8 but I live 2 hrs away with my mum ,her gf and my little brother. My grandad wants me to move in with him which I want to but it will break my mum. I have tried to OD and I attempted to jump off a bridge of which I rang my grandma in tears and she told my mum I’m moving out for abit. I came back after a month and nothing had changed. My step mum is exactly the same as she was with me before and my mental state is in shambles. I never feel happy living here and I would rather move in with my family. I’m in the uk and I’m 15 idk how it works.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. From what you mentioned, your mom is not providing a safe or supportive environment for you and it has been taking a toll on your mental health. This is not okay for her to do and home is supposed to be somewhere you feel cared for. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel happy and supported. Leaving home to live with family members can certainly be a big decision to make and we want you to know that you are not alone in this.

The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I need to know if I’m legally allowed to live with a friend without parents consent at 16. My friend is turning 19 in a month and they are planning on moving into an apartment, I’ve told them all about my situation and they’ve agreed if it’s allowed I can go live with them for a bit. Currently it’s not only my family but the whole area I live in. I live in a bad city/area. Not only that my parents are toxic and manipulative. They always try to argue with me over any little thing they can find and it’s hurting my mental state. I need to be around people who are supportive and loving, but this isn’t helping out. Am I legally allowed to leave?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I have been having some of the same issues with many people on this website and I don't feel safe or at peace with my terrible birth mother and her fiancé who both are not fit to even be called parents. They use not having good lives in the past as their excuse when confronted and say they only do to us what they have had done to them by their parents, but I don't believe that's true, mainly because of the fact that I have been hit by both of them with both their hands and objects. When we were younger and more powerless they used to yell at us for things that we probably shouldn't have done but they also yelled at us for some unnecessary things as well and decided their only way of getting a point across was to use a wooden paddle that was originally used for a boat/kayak that had been cut so that they could swing it faster and has had to be fixed using tape because of the force they hit us with it.
sorry for any grammatical errors or other mistakes, I have almost failed English classes since I can remember. I know that if I try to get someone involved with this that they think can do something to take me away from them, they'll just use excuses or try to say that im lying. I feel that they only keep me here for labor that they do not wish to do, (my mother runs a bar she forces us to work for) and the situation used to be a lot worse because we moved last year to take over a restaurant that has been run by family for a while and my mother felt like it wasn't important to pay us for working there. She now pays me and my 14 year old brother 5 dollars and some change an hour and my 10 year old sister about 3 dollars an hour. Sometimes miscalculating and saying that we didn't actually work that day, even though we have schedules.
I have wanted to live with someone, anyone else for as long as I can remember and actually got permissions from one of my friends parents a long time ago... but then that friend and 3 other of my friends got into a crash... and nothing has been the same since. Only one of them survived and it was one that I didn't know very well. I just know if I try to do anything my parents will find SOME way to make it not work, and then probably beat me for it. They won't sign any papers allowing me to go with anyone or anything. My mother has threatened to call the police on me for something as little as going with some friends to a baseball game, which she claims to have been wanting to protect me, but then promptly beat me sometime in the next week for it. Is there any way I can get help please me any my sibling, even though we fight a lot and have some... other issues... we need to get away from here.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. Reaching out for help is a great first step to getting any support you may need. It is okay to feel that way about your birth mother and her partner and your feelings are 100% valid. It is not okay for them to harm you in any way or for them to justify their actions. You mentioned your mother forces you to work for her at her business and isn't always paying you. This is awful and your mother is very unfair in pressuring you to work especially without fair compensation. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel cared for.

If you want to leave, a helpful start could be to reach out to friends or family members that you might be able to stay with. Talking to parents about wanting to live away from home can be very difficult and having an adult on your side to advocate for your needs could help. Perhaps there is an adult in your life you can reach out to for some help with this.

You shared a few things that make us concerned for your safety and well-being. You do have the option to make a report to child protective services. Their goal is to ensure that you are safe and getting the care that you need. You can speak to an advocate at an organization called Child Help, childhelp.org, to learn more about the reporting process and what it might look like for you.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay strong,
NRS