I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

[Guest]

I am a 14-year-old girl, I do not think I can handle being in this family anymore. I'm mentally going crazy and I can't take it. I love my mother to bits but I despise the disgrace I call dad. I hate this man with a passion. He destroys my life. I'm so unhappy and it's been this way for years. I grew up bullied and depressed and it stays that way. I'm not bullied anymore because I snapped and started getting into fights but that's beside the point. I hate my life so much I wanna kill my self. I've tried multiple times and don't succeed, I am physically and emotionally abused I want to live a life where I can just be myself and my parents except it, I am religious a Sikh i want to be more I want to get rebaptized because I have made mistakes my parents say that I sm going to make more mistakes in my life because they don't believe me, on the other hand, my brother is always, always lying and snitching on me. I honestly can't handle this, I hate making my mom cry because I and my dad don't get along it is so sad and I also hear it from there mouths "why can't you just die?". "I thought you were going to be a good kid I was wrong". "I am going to call foster parents so they can take you and you won't be able to see us ever again!". I swear that I can do anything to just live a life where I can be trusted I have lied to them my whole life and I made a new years revolution to not lie and i haven't lied since December 31, 2018, and they still don't believe me please please except me into a family that gives me what I want I am 14 and I don't have a phone because I'm not trusted with it.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Wow it sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult situation. We just want you to know that you are not alone.
We want you to know that you are valuable and that you are worth living. It may seem like it is incredibly difficult to go through but this will not last forever. You may want to consider contacting The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. There is always someone willing to listen to your story and be able to provide support. Please stay strong you got this!
It sounds like you may be going through emotional abuse, if you would like to make a report you can contact The Child Helpline at: 1800-422-4453. Just know the things your parents say about you is not about you it’s on them. You also may want to consider talking to a therapist about what is going on. You can also contact NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). You can contact NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

hi,

i am 16 and i want to move in with my friends family to finish high school.

i currently live with my mom and step dad, and their two spoiled little kids. after my parents divorce, somehow i ended up with my mom. i have always hated living with her because she leaves town all the time and doesn’t tell me usually until the night before. the only thing she actually provides for me is a roof over my head and she pays for my education. she is never even around the house, and i have my own job, so im pretty much on my own most of the time. i get my own food, i work, i drive my car to school and to lacrosse practices and games, and she is never involved in any of those things at all. she doesn’t even know what’s going on in my life at all or my schedule, so i have basically been doing my own thing since i was 13 or 14, but i became almost completely independent from her when i turned 16. aside from the legal stuff.

it is now the beginning of july, but at the very end of march my mom dropped this huge bomb on me that i was going to be moving with her to tennessee for the rest of high school. it is kind of a given that i don’t exactly want to just up and leave this life that i have built for myself. i play for varsity lacrosse at my school already, i have good friends, an amazing boyfriend, a steady job, and my best friend’s family is more accepting of me than my own. i am going to be a junior this year, and i am not exactly looking to leave my whole life behind and have to start making new friends and adjusting to an entirely new setting while trying to manage the SAT/ACT and junior year altogether.

my best friend’s family has agreed to take me in if i can just sort the legal stuff out with my parents, but i was wondering how that’s possible? like what exactly would i need from my parents to make this happen?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your family. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

[Guest]

Hi, i don’t know how this app works i could be doing this wrong, but i am 15 years old. my father past away when i was 1, but my mom had someone in my life as a father figure at the age of 2 so he’s like my dad. but he never adopted me or anything so no records show. he is allowing me to stay with. him but my mom isn’t and i don’t want to stay with her anymore. it’s very frustrating living with her, after they broke up (2months ago) she has put so much on me, to much i can handle. and she’s not listening to anything i’m saying and i really just want to live with my step dad.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds like home is really stressful right now, it must be really frustrating to be in that situation. It's so great to hear that you and your step dad get along so well. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your mom.

It sounds like your mom isn’t listening to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about how her breakup affects you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi i am 14 years old going on 15 on aug 17 so i want to live with my one of my family member but the problem is most of them cant take me due to less room. The reason why i want to live with them because i feel like i do everything wrong i admit i do have some issues like i have destroy electornics windows put holes in walls. But i do a lot in my household and me and my older sister fight alot and my mom.is tried of it like it gets physical to.the point where my moms has to pull us apart. This all started when my dad died a few years back which took a huge imapct on my family like it effected all of us mostly my mom but for me too. So it been hard because my dad waa the head of the house made sure everything waa organize and in order. But it been so hard because i have an autism sister which is trouble because she does so many messes and me and my sister have to watch. I feel like i am a servant i get tried of watching her because i never pay attentions to my autism sister like i try to watch her but she dosent listen or pay attentions to my family but she is enroll in a school that can help her and she been improving. Another issue is my older sister sometimes starts with me like calls me idiot jerk all this and i have a very angry temper or known as anger management when someone pushes my buttons i get very angry or when somoene hits me. I known it not right but i just feel like everything i do is wrong and i cant take it anymore like watching my autism sister its too much for me and i get stressed. My mom tries her best and i love her but me and her can also get physical as well like sometimes we say mean stuff and cuss at either. And we also put hand on either like hit either i known it wrong and not right.

So any advice or consideration would be good

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for sharing a little bit about what's been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like there's a lot going on at home - it must be really stressful. You mentioned that you and your mom have gotten physical before and this raises some concern. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

It seems like you and your mom have some issues communicating your thoughts and feelings to one another. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

is it possible for me to live with my friend with out my parents getting involved

[ccsmod13]

Hi there, thanks for contacting NRS!

It sounds like you are thinking about leaving home to live with your friend, but you do not want your parents to find out. It can be incredibly difficult to leave home before the age of 18 without consent or cooperation from your parents. We are not legal experts, but we can share some general information.

If you leave home without permission from your parents, then they can file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal, and you would not be arrested. It means that if police know where you are then they would most likely return you home. In some cases when the young person who leaves homes is close to turning 18 then the police do not always force them back home. Your local police department will have more information on how they handle runaway reports. You can contact their non-emergency number to ask questions anonymously about your situation. If you do get your parents permission to leave home then there would not necessarily be any police intervention.

We can best be of help phone or chat and we are available 24/7. You can reach us at 1-800-786-2929 or 1800runaway.org (chat button) if you would like to talk more about your situation and explore options.

We are looking forward to hearing from you,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi. Im 16 And I want to go live with my friend. She’s 19 and lives with roommates but my family keeps telling me Than I need to come back home, and i need to be in school. They said that my grandma could call Dcf on me if I stay with my friend and I would have to go live with her

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Seems like you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services. Please do not hesitate to reach back out if you need anything else.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

My daughter has moved out i have tryed many different ways to change the situation on makeing things rite but its come to the point were i cant take no more so she has moved into a freinds house i dont want contact with her at all as it hurts to much seeing her so i havent had any contact at all i no shes ok tho as family member keep me updated as therw makeing sure shes ok she seems more happyier at her freibds home i just need to no what i have to do now to sign her over thanks

[ccsmod15]

I’m so sorry that you are going through that. It sounds like a very hard and painful situation.

Just fyi, we our not legal experts. Our understanding is that if your daughter is under 18, she is still under guardianship, but, that a guardian can approve of a living arrangement elsewhere. So, if you approve of where she is living, then there is nothing further that you need to do. This is actually something families who reach out to us do all the time. It does seem smart to stay in contact with the family she’s staying with, and to have ways to check in and make sure that she’s safe and doing ok like you described.

It sounds like it’s too painful now, but perhaps after some time passes, you could think about finding some ways to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter. Perhaps, if talking face to face is too hard, for example, you could try just communicating through e-mail. Maybe something like that would help give you both the space you need. We also have a database of free and sliding scale resources, including for family counseling. If you think that might help, feel free to give us a call.

This is a hard thing you’re facing. Think, too, about your own support network. It can be super helpful to have people you can vent to, and talk to about things like this. It’s ok to reach out to people you trust to get that support, and it makes sense that someone in your situation would.

We hope this info and some of these ideas are helpful.

[Guest]

i am only 13 & i don’t feel happy, accepted & comfortable in my house. i feel happier with people who live around 2 hours away (by car) as i’m accepted in their family & i have friends there where as here i am lonely. i’ve thought of running away many times & thought about putting myself into hospital so i’m away from my home & school for a while. i really don’t know what to do & my age makes it very difficult to get a situation sorted. my mental health is very bad here & recently, i’ve wanted to kill myself because i don’t know how to deal with the struggle of things. i feel like i can’t tell my parents as we’d have to sit down & have an adult conversation which i can’t do as all i can normally come out with this is ‘i don’t know’ & i know that frustrates them. my cousin has offered me some sanctuary but i don’t know where she lives & i know i couldn’t live there forever because i’ve still got school & i know it’s far away. it’s a complicated case i know but even a sliver of advice could keep my hopes up.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I am 15 from South Carolina
I would like to go with my friends family and her. My dad and step mom, will give me permission, however he does drink and when he is drinking or sober he does tend to tell me that I can just leave and then after I will leave with my friend but then they will call the cops and report me as a runaway.

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

You mentioned that you were trying to go with your friend and her family, but that your family goes back and forth with their decision. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now with your dad’s drinking and their indecisiveness, and we want you to know that you’re not alone. With that being said, if you feel like you need someone to talk to about your dad’s problem, and how it’s making you feel, you can reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can text the word NAMI to 741741, and will be texting with a counselor about what you’re going through.

We’re not legal experts, but anyone under 18 is considered a minor. If you were to leave your home without your guardian’s approval, your guardians can contact the authorities, and file a runaway report. Whoever you end up staying with, may face some charges for harboring a runaway. It’s great that you have a support system, but there are a lot of things to consider if you plan on leaving to stay with your friend and their family. If you are feeling unsafe at home, you can try talking to someone at school about your living situation, and explore your options with a counselor. Along those same lines, you may text the word SAFE and your location to 44357, and the national safe place will text you a safe location to go to, if necessary a case worker will go out to assist you. Safe places vary by city and state, for more information you can inquire at nationalsafeplace.org.

We hope the options and resources provided to you have been of some use. If you need additional help or want someone to talk to, you can reach out to us anytime at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

[Guest]

So, the past 2 years I've lived with my mom but this past year its been getting to me because my stepdad constantly screaming at all of us and degrading us. We were taken from my dad so if he isn't able to get us back then how would I go about being able to live with my friend? I would like to know so I can finally sit down with my mom and tell her that i cant handle being there anymore. It is really stressing me out and making my depression act up even when using my medicine.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you are in a stressful situation living with your stepdad who yells and talks down to you. That cannot be easy to deal with and here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you.

It sounds like you are focused on how you can leave home before turning 18 due to the way your stepdad is treating you. We are not legal experts but we can speak generally. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. You do have the right to report emotional abuse to CPS, unfortunately, it can be difficult to prove that it is dangerous enough to remove you from the home. Do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to explore reporting the abuse further. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

It is clear that your home environment is taking a major toll on you and something needs to change. Please know that we are always here for you if you would like to talk through your situation to see if we can brainstorm additional options for you, or if you need some support. You are not alone.

1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I am a parent of 15-year-old twins who have been very hard to deal with. The two of them have been trouble with the law and last month my son you us kicked out if our apartment. I have a very good job opportunity bit will relocate us to Phx. My twins are refusing to move with me and are threading to run away. I also have not been able to secure a place to live and because they have been in trouble with the law my Ex husband is refusing to keep them until I can get us a place to live. I don't know what to do and really could use some advice.
Thanks

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.It sounds like you have been going through a super frustrating situation. Your children should be respecting you and it is unfortunate this is not the case.
There is a thing called MINS/CHINS which is usually a program through the juvenile court system. It is for at risk youth and youth who have broken the law and who are out of control. You can find out if your city has this program by calling us or by calling your local court house or police department.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

hey there,

im 15 and so i wanna go live with my friends family because ever since September of 2019 i get screamed at and hit by my mom. She has put me in woodridge for something i did and now since i came back from there it has been worse. my friends family treat me like there own daughter. my parents talk about how im a worhtless piece of crap and cant wait until i move out cause they dont want me at there house. PLEASE HELP ME.....

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been in a really tough situation at home. We are so sorry things are like this for you, and we commend you for seeking help.

It sounds like you might be considering trying to get away from home and the abusive situation you are facing. It is important that you know that you do not deserve to be treated this way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY. For many young people, leaving home is their best option. If running away is feeling best for you, we can also talk through that with you. Young people do need parental consent to leave home, but the ways by which this can happen are numerous. We would love to explore it with you.

We hope you find some of this information useful, and that you are able to find a more peaceful and supportive living situation. We are here 24/7 to listen and to help. Stay safe and strong out there.

Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey, I am 15 years old, and my life is really messed up..... my mom emotionally abuses me by always comparing me to my brothers because their smarter than me..... my brother goes up to me and hands me blades and knives and asks me if I want to use them..... I'm constantly getting yelled at for things I didn't do or because of im just not as good as my mom wants me to be..... I don't know what to do......

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! We understand you feel alone and not heard. Know that we want to help. We are sorry that you are being treated that way and are told to do things you do not want to do. If you wish to talk about things we would love to talk and figure out options for you to get away from as home seems like it is putting you in danger.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 14 years old and I want to leave my parents’ house. I constantly get degraded by mom and sometimes it gets so bad that I want to end my life. I’ve been having depression for about 2 years now and they won’t do anything about it. I love my dad and he really has nothing to do with this but I just can’t stand living with my mom. She was emotionally abused as a child and she likes to blame me and degrade me on so many things. We are Christian but at this point I feel like my mom has gone out of hand with it. I’m currently grounded from everything for being bisexual and I just can’t stress enough how I don’t want to be here anymore. They wouldn’t let me listen to anything other than Christian music and I could not watch anything “blasphemous” like lgbtq related things. I know this sounds ridiculous and like I might just be a big baby, but I hate it here. The few privileges I had like having a phone (which all I had was YouTube and no other social media) and going to the only thing that kept me from hopelessness was drama club. It was a place where I felt free and I could express myself and now it’s all gone. All my hard work. They even said they might put me in homeschool to make sure I would always be within their grasp. I immediately answered them by saying that would be controlling and I was not their property. But they said they could do whatever they wanted because I’m their daughter. I love them so much, their my parents after all, but at this point they feel like my prison guards. I don’t know what to do I want to move into my 20 year old cousin’s house but idk. Maybe I should just wait. This isn’t to make them look bad. I just want someone to tell me what to do. They really are good people.

[ccsmod9]

: Thanks for contacting us. It’s definitely ok for you to reach out. It’s super important to have people to talk to when you’re in a tough situation. And it makes total sense that you find what your parents are doing really hard. The isolation, and the way your mom talks to you, both sound like really difficult. That they are not supportive of your identity also sounds really hard. It sounds like you want a reasonable amount of freedom and some support, but at the same time you are trying to be understanding of them. You mentioned that you love them, and some ideas about why your mom might be acting this way.

So, going to stay with another family member could be a good short term or long term solution. We are not legal experts, but our understanding is that if a guardian approves of a youth staying elsewhere, they can stay there. Families do this all the time. It can be a way to give everyone space.

If you think this is something your parents might approve of, think about what a good time to talk about something like this might be. Think if there is a time of the week when you and your mom are less stressed when you might talk. Perhaps it might be more constructive to talk to your dad first one on one if you think he might be a good source of support. Or think if there might be another adult who might understand your point of you, and who your parents might listen to, who could be there when you guys talk it out.

We also have a database of resources for things like family counseling. Family counseling might be another way to approach this, to help your mom understand how her language is affecting you, and find a way that you could all live together more happily. If you can, feel free to call us or start a chat, and we could find resources like that for you. Also, there might be resources for counseling or even family counseling at your school, so reaching out to people there might be a helpful step.

Both the LGBT Hotline, and the LGBT talkline are confidential lines where you can talk to a supportive person about LGBT issues, including unsupportive parents. LGBT Hotline: 1-888-843-4564, LGBT Talkline: 1-800-246-7743.

Lastly, we want you to have the number for the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. This isn’t just a number for emergencies, but also a place to call if you are feeling overwhelmed or hopeless. Their number is 1-800-273-8255.

We hope some of these resources and ideas are a help to you.

[Guest]

Hi,
I'm 15 and I live in Riverdale, Georgia.
I'm currently in Phenix City , Alabama my mom sent me her to get a break from her and my brother because i dont feel like i get treated equal to him to her everythin i do is wrong and i get punished and i get blamed for everythin and credit for little they never see the good things i do they only see the stupid things they claim is bad and im not happy there so i ccame to my aunt house and she stresses me out as well she gets mad about the stupidest stuff saying that what i watch is annoying to turn it off and that i cant take my walks and meditate because my family treats my wrong to keep me sane i take walks my brother is glad im gone my mom is too she dropped all my stuff off here but i have a friend that invited me to stay with them and im homeschooled . What can i do? i feeel like i have reached my limits with my family. So since im not living with my mom can i go live with my friend without her permission?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds as if you have been dealing with something very difficult, and it is good that you are reaching out.

We are not legal experts at NRS, but we can try to answer some of your questions. You mentioned moving out of your aunt’s house without your mother’s permission. The legal age of majority in Alabama is 19. This means that if you are under that age and leave without a legal guardian’s consent, a runaway report could be filed. Similar to staying out past curfew, this would be a status offence. If you runaway, the police could pick you up and take you back to your original residence. If you were to get your legal guardian’s consent, you could stay at a different location. Similar to how you are currently staying with your aunt.

It is great that you have a self-care system in place that involves meditation and walking. It is always good to prioritize your mental well-being. You also mentioned that you have been talking with a friend about what has been going on and how you are feeling. It is great that you have someone in your life that you can share things like that with. If you feel as if the burden might be too much on you, you can always reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (1-800-950-NAMI).

If you have any other questions, or if you would just like to talk, you can reach out to our 24/7 hotline (1-800-786-2929). Thank you again for reaching out.

-NRS