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I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

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  • I'm fifteen. My mom and dad decided to move from my home town when I was 8. During the travels (cause went so many places) my sister and I switched from school to school. Eventually we ended up in Portland but it was too late to put us in school cause it'd already been six months. So instead of trying to get us back on school, she just said ******** it. She's didn't want to loose us to the authorities. But now I'm still at a third grade level cause even though we were pressured to tell everyone we were having schooled, I never got taught anything. My sister "dropped out" we moved from Portland and now we live in the middle of no where with no cell seryser or running water and we live off a generator in a tiny camper. I hate it there. I have a boyfriend In town cause we go to town every Wednesday Friday and weekends. But it's not enough. I want to do things on weekdays but she won't let me. So I ran away and my bfs dad talked to her and she's letting me move put in the summer but I can't handle going back there tonight. (I stayed spring break with my bf) it's traumatizing having to go back there. My mom thinks the world's gonna end and constantly puts that and her religion before literally everything. I ********ing hate it there. I have a job. I pay for my cloths and phone bill by myself and I am more then capable of buying my own food too. Also both my parents panhandle for a living and have for years. When I was younger I'd go out with them to help them. I just want away. But I have my little brother to think about now. He's happy there and being taught so I don't want to get the authorities involved. I also don't want to go into states custody. And my sister ran away when she was fifteen my mom let her go to our home town to visit but she ran away when she was there so my mom told her that if she came back her boyfriend could run away here. So he did. And she just turned 16 when they moved into a van together. Later on he ended up sexually abusing me for two years so I can't stay with her cause I hate him so what do I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thank you so much for reaching out to NRS, we are here to help. You took a great first step by reaching out to us. It sounds like you are struggling to find a place to live safely where you can support yourself and have the freedom you desire, as well as basic necessities like running water, cell and internet service, etc. Although you have stated that you do not want to get the authorities involved, it’s worth mentioning that keeping a youth in school and providing a shelter with basic necessities like running water are a parent’s responsibilities, and your parents asking you to work instead of being in school and not provide you with proper shelter is considered neglect, which is abuse. One resource you may consider is Child Help, a national child abuse hotline that can help you learn a little more about this if you wish. The number for Child Help is 1-800-422-4453. Another thing you might be able to consider are Transitional Living Programs (TLPs), which are places that offer temporary housing for youth who need shelter. We can help you find some resources for TLPs local to you, but because this is a public forum we are unable to share specific resources here. If you would like to explore these resources more in depth, we are happy to do so via online chat or phone call. Feel free to reach us at any time, we are always hear to listen and to help!

  • Umm hi well my friend got kicked out and well I offered her my help but the thing is she is only 16 and I mean I’m 16 but we live in different states and I have talked to my parents already asking them if she could stay and they have agreed but how could we legally help her, if we just pay for her ticket here would we legally get in trouble? My parents are from Mexico so I wouldn’t want them to get in trouble with the law so but I still want to help her because she is my best friend what can I do?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-05-2019, 01:14 AM.

    Comment


    • Reply: Umm hi well my friend

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It’s very nice of you and your family to want and help out your friend. We are not legal experts so it’s not possible for us to give you legal advice. Since your friend was kicked out of her home by her parent’s she might consider contacting the police or child protective services for assistance. For help contact Child Help USA 422-4453.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Take care,
      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • I'm 15 and I'm always getting disrespected by my parents. Their very confusing I ran away for 4 weeks and stayed with my sister and have not been going to school because I'm letting my depression take over me there so much that they don't understand also things sometimes gets really violent with my mom’s boyfriend a lot I tried hurting myself 3 times and at this point I feel like the only way things will go away is if I die. She said she’ll sign papers and let someone take me. Could I get but in foster care if I wanted?
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-16-2019, 12:28 AM.

        Comment


        • I'm 18 and my brother is 16. We were adopted a few years back and at first things were good. But the past few years haven't really been that good. At one point our "dad" was physically abusive. CPS was called and they dismissed the case because there wasn't "enough evidence". so then he turned to verbal abuse. I've found myself depressed and feeling unworthy many times. I don't want my brother finishing out high school like I did, unhappy and feeling low. I see the sadness on his face. I asked him if he wanted to be here and he said no. We have both thought about committing suicide on multiple occasions. And i don't like seeing him miserable. Im ready to pack our bags and just catch a train or bus somewhere.

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • Reply: I'm 15 and I'm always

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

          From everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned that there has been incidents of violence and also that you resorted to self-harm. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. You are not at fault for any abuse against you. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          For depression or suicidal thoughts you might consider contacting the National Suicide and Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

          Transference of custody can occur if a parent gives away their parental rights to the state or someone appointed by the courts. If you are at risk or feel unsafe you might contact Child Help USA at 422-4453 this is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
          You did a good job reaching out today.

          Stay safe and take care,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • I’m 15 and I wanna live with an other family member because I’m tired of being pushed around and treated like crap. My parents are always screaming at me and telling me that I keep messing up and that I don’t care and always saying I should go live with my bio mom who is a druggy and my dad and my boyfriend don’t get along at all and I’m being put in the middle of it and idk how to handle the situation because he’s just trying to help me and my dad gets called out and he blows up on me

            Comment


            • ccsmod10
              ccsmod10 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you for telling us your story and reaching out. It can be difficult telling others what has happened to you. We want you to know that no one deserves to be yelled at and made to feel that they are unwanted. You should not have to go through that. It can be difficult to manage situations like this and you don’t have to do it alone. One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your how you feel about the things they say to you and why you want to live with another family member. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime.

              We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a minor depending on your age. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

              If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

              Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline at 1-800Runaway (786-2929) or use our live chat. We hope this information was helpful and take care.

              Wish you the best
              -NRS
              Last edited by ccsmod10; 05-19-2019, 11:14 PM.

          • What can I do to legally live with my grandparents in Kansas? Right now I live in Missouri. I’m 15 and my parents have a very toxic, verbally abusive relationship along with my mom being an alcoholic.
            Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-30-2019, 02:46 AM.

            Comment


            • Reply: What can I do to legally live with my grandparents


              Hello,
              Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

              We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry that you are going through what sounds like a difficult time at home. One thing you might consider is speaking with your grandparent’s about your wishes. Perhaps they can come up with a plan of action to transfer custody of you to them. We are not legal experts but we can try to provide you with some legal resources where you might get the information that you’re looking for.

              We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

              Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
              If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

              Take care,
              NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • I don't know what to do anymore. My mom has a newish boyfriend who creeps me out and makes me uncomfortable. Everytime she is around him she acts different and verbally aggressive towards my brother and I. I have told her he makes me uncomfortable and how I feel about the situation but she always goes back to the "I'm the adult" excuse. At this point she isn't acting very adult-like by disregarding her child's feelings and concerns.

                Her and her boyfriend have been talking about moving into together since being together for about 3 months. They have been looking at houses and now since being together for a year, things have been getting worse. They went to talk to our current landlord and I overheard her on the phone that they asked our landlord to write us an evitction notice. I know we can't afford our house but you don't NEED to ask for an eviction notice to move. I assume she asked so now she has an excuse to be like "Well we got evicted, so now we have to move in with (her boyfriend)."

                I recently had a more serious conversation with my mom, really explaining that I don't want to live with him and would not feel safe. I said that if they do buy a house together, I'll move in with my grandma and she responded, "Well, thats your choice." YOU SHOULDN'T BE OKAY WITH YOUR 15YR OLD CHILD MOVING OUT. I don't know what do to at this point, clearly she doesn't have her priorities set on her children.
                My brother is graduating this year and will be moving a hour away, so I will be even more alone and unsafe. My friend and I have jokingly talked about me moving in with her and I know her family would take me in, in a heartbeat but I don't want it to ruin our friendship. (I had a friend live with me for a short time when their house burned down and tensions were very high having 3 extra kids in the house.)

                So I thought of moving in with my grandparents, they live just up the road and have multiple spare bedrooms. We get along really well, but they are in their late 70's- early 80's and I don't know how they would feel about having the responsibility of a teenager on their hands again. I will be 16 soon and hopefully get my permit but I don't know if would be able to get a job, due to my medical condition limiting me from standing for more than 15-20mins. I'm not sure what job 16yr old could get that doesn't require much standing. I definitely wouldn't mind helping with chores around the house or help cook dinner because I can move a chair around the house when I need a break.

                I do really good in school and plan on going to college. But I obviously need a safe and supportive place to live in until I am able to graduate. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you!

                Comment


                • ccsmod7
                  ccsmod7 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello, thanks for reaching out today.

                  It sounds like such a difficult situation to live with your mom's boyfriend who makes you uncomfortable, and your mom treats you all differently around him. You deserve to feel safe and to be respected in your home.

                  You mentioned being creeped out and uncomfortable by your mom's boyfriend. If he is hurting you or doing something inappropriate, please by all means, do what you need to do to be safe. There are resources and support out you there if you need. If there is something inappropriate going on you might also have the right to report it to child protective services. If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at www.1800runaway.org we can direct you towards those resources and talk about whether or not reporting could work for this situation after getting more details about what is going on.

                  That's great that you have the possible option to live at your grandparents with your mom's permission, although, or course it seems hurtful that she did not mind. If you haven't already you might talk to your grandparents if they would be okay with you staying there. It's also great that they live so close, so if you do feel unsafe at home you might make a safety plan to run to their place.

                  We hope this information helps, please call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situaiton - we are here for you: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

                  Best,

                  NRS

              • I'm almost 15 and my family has been through alot. My best friend committed suicide a few months ago... My sister was in the hospital with a bronchial infection and hearing damage... Ever since my freshman year began my father has screamed at me... Yelled at me, told me I was worthless. He said the day I turn 18 the door with be slammed and I am not welcome back. I honestly don't know what I did to him. None of this happens to my siblings... I have tried to run away, kill myself, and get out of here... Nothing works, and it always gets worse. I want to leave. I have so many friends and families that have their arms wide open saying I can stay with them. My father won't let me... And neither will my mom. (They're divorced). I am stuck in this hell with no escape. I really need some help. Is there anyway, with out my father knowing that I reached out (he will be extremely mad), where I can leave this all behind?

                Comment


                • ccsmod9
                  ccsmod9 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hi there,
                  Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
                  Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
                  If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
                  We hope to hear from you soon.
                  Be safe,
                  NRS

              • So i am 16 and I live with my sister like she adopted me and i just found out that she wants to move to a different state and I don't wanna do that. I have a lot of friends here and my family is here even if they were unable to take care of me. I could live with a friend and her mom but I don't think my sister will try to allow it. I just wanna know if there is any way I could do that.

                Comment


                • ccsmod6
                  ccsmod6 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you have to move away from your family and friends. While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is our understanding that, as your legal guardian, your sister determines where you get to live. It might be worth it for you to have a conversation with your sister about staying where you are and living with your friend and her mom. Perhaps if she understood that while you still care for and love her, it would be enormously difficult for you to uproot everything that you have and start over again, she would be somewhat open to the idea of you staying. If you want to talk more about your situation and about what other options you may have, please don’t hesitate to contact us on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

                  Take care,
                  NRS

              • I'm 13 and my is a phycho and I want to live with my aunt the problem is I'm not related to her she's my moms good friend. My mom hates me me. Always leaves me home sense we moved back to the Midwest from Las Vegas. She thinks that she was is in a bad realationship and she couldn't leave the house. But now she can and she uses that to her advantage. It's to the point her new boyfriend feels bad for me. And I recently developed tinnitus. What that is where I here ringing in my ear or any other phantom noises. And she doesn't even care and didn't even take me to my doctor. And she says your moving with your grandpa I say yeah . Even though I don't even want to because then she's gonna say no. Also she's verbally abusive. She cusses me out calls me a fat ass dumb ass etc. I want to move in with my aunt really bad where I know I'll get the care and love I need for me and my dog. And my dog also became sick and she hasn't even took my dog to the vet. And hasn't even fixed my dog she's want to breed her. Even my dog is scared of her. And only likes me and her boyfriend.

                Comment


                • im 13 and i want to live with my bestfriend. you could be thinking that im overreacting because im so young but my brother ( he’s in highschool ) physically hurts me and my mother favorites him. whenever i try to talk to my mom about it she claims she is tired of me and i even told her im gonna work on getting out this house she acts like she does not care. i have spent a lot of my nights crying with nobody with me to tell me it is okay except my bestfriends. i want to live with one of them but i do not thi k i can . she is letting me stay tomorrow and hopefully helps me get out that house. i do not wanna lose contact with my bestfriends if i get taken away so i have been contemplating on whether i should be silent or not , and overwhelming and i dont know what to do. also i need to mention the fact that my mother says im going to end up fat and i never do anything yet i do everything for her. she also only cooks whenever her boyfriend wants a meal. whenever he leaves she makes nothing and we have to find something to eat.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,
                    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Sounds like things at home with your mom and brother are really rough. You deserve to be treated with respect and fairness. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

                    It sounds like you are planning on running to your best friend's place. Here at NRS, we do want to try to inform you of what could happen so you can make the decision that is best for you. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway.

                    With regards to the mistreatment at home, if you are interested in trying to address those issues please call or chat us to explore your options. There might be family counseling resources or services like our conference call service to help you mediate issues at home, and to help you be heard. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org.

                    We hope to hear from you soon.

                    Be safe,

                    NRS
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