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I am 15 and i want to go live with my friends family

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  • I’m 14 almost 15 and I’ve considered running away, but that doesn’t seem as good as an option because I’ll just be found. I want to be emancipated or able to live with one of my friends because I cannot take my family anymore. I’m constantly getting yelled at by my parents, I get blamed for everything. When my brother insults me my mom never believes it and when I was told I was messed up, my mom just said "yeah he’s right you are." it’s mentally exhausting and I’m tired of the negative crap all the time. It’s been going on for 6 years. I just don’t know how to bring it up to my mom I don’t want to live here anymore. What’s an easy simple way to bring it up without starting an argument?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 12-12-2018, 06:23 AM.

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    • I am 14 and want to live with my my best friends family



      Hi, I’m Austin and my parents yell at me constantly and blame everything on me when it comes to garbage or fighting. I get told to do everything when my siblings are sitting and doing nothing. They don’t support me being a youtuber and they downgrade me every time I try and tell them I failed a test or I don’t wanna do something. But when I’m at my friends house they treat my like their own I help out with cleaning and they have an extra room. They know how bad it is at my house and they want me to move in. They know how I get to do everything and they help with school. I’m cyber and they help out with my school work if I ask. My best friend and I have been friends for 9 years and he has a younger sister. I try hard in school and want to go into the army after school. But my parents aren’t supportive of me when it comes to school and going into the army. They barely by food and their is 10 people in my house, so if they buy food I can’t get any. They refuse to let me go to work with them when it is cleaning houses. My best friends family takes me with them on vacation and knobels and dorny park. We all have a lot of laughs. Like when their step dad scared me in the corn maze. My mom yells at me and treats everyone else different from me. I just hope I can move into my friends house bc they treat me like an actual person.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there!
        Thanks for reaching out to us and telling us what’s been going on. It sounds like you’re having a really rough time a home. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and it takes courage to ask for help.
        You mentioned that you want to go live with your friend’s family. It might be a good idea to ask your parents if they would let you live with your friend’s family even temporarily. This would be considered an alternative living arrangement (ALA) and would be simple to set up if you got their permission. If you can’t get their permission, there might be some other options available to you. If you want to explore those options, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) or chat online with us at www.1800RUNAWAY.ORG.
        We are sorry that you are going through such a tough time. We understand that you are not wanting to live with your mom anymore. It sounds like you just want to live in an environment where you feel heard, loved, and supported. We’re here to listen and help the best way we can. We hope to talk or chat with you soon. Good luck!
        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • Hello I'm 15 I've been really depressed, suicidal, and unhappy with my me and family I'm constantly bullied in school talked to my counselor and principal told my parents nothing’s happened my siblings bully me I get yelled at a lot and I have a friend that is willing to take me in and provide for me I don't know how to get out of this house and I'm done working with my family I don't know what to do.
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 02-07-2019, 01:20 AM.

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      • Reply: Hello I'm 15 I've been really depressed...


        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You did great by reaching out to NRS. Good for you.
        You don’t deserve to be bullied at school or home, what’s happening to you is not your fault. You did wonderful advocating for yourself. It sounds like you told your parents and school officials but nothing has been done to your satisfaction. That is unfortunate.

        We understand that it must be frustrating for you and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It also sounds like you have confided in a friend that is willing to let you stay with them. Leaving home is a big step and there is a matter of concern for your safety. Again we understand that your situation is one that you want to see change.
        If you are feeling depressed or having thoughts of suicide we encourage you to seek help.
        Help is available. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
        There are also anti-bullying programs you might consider reaching out to for support.
        https://www.pacer.org/bullying

        https://www.stopbullying.gov/

        These programs exist to provide extended help to those that face being bullied.

        NRS is here to listen and here to help.
        We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        Take care,
        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • okay so i’m 15 and i live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my mom, dad and lil brother. my mom and i have an awful relationship and we don’t get along at all. it has gotten to the point where i can’t even be there and i need to be somewheres else. i love my mom but i like literally can’t deal with her. she’s constantly coming at me about everything and is always twisting me and my dads words. currently my dads the only one working and has been for the last 7 years because she won’t get a job. my bestfriend who lives in georgia offered to take me and i could live with them and i talked to my dad about it and he didn’t say no or yes he just said we’ll see... i was wondering if i have to get an okay with my mom too in order to leave or if i can just get everything situated with my dad. we haven’t talked to my mom about this either cause she always starts ******** and we don’t have the energy to deal with it.

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place where you do not have a close relationship with the people there. You questioned if you would need your mom’s permission as well as your dad’s to leave home. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but to our knowledge if you are planning on leaving it would be up to the parent who has guardianship. If it’s shared then yes, you would need to get both of them to agree. It sounds like things at home are at their tipping point and you feel as if things will be better for you living with a friend.
            If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • I’m thirteen and wanna move into my friends family house and they wouldn’t mind and both of my parents past and currently in a home situation with my uncle and aunt and honestly wish I wasn’t because I can’t leave a normal life of a teen I’m the oldest keep in mind I hate it I can’t ever do anything I’m legit only aloud to have a friend stay twice a year and they think that im gonna do something. I hate it ugh I don’t know if I’m aloud to move in at 13 with a friend. I don’t know exactly if it is. But. They NEVER let me live my life as a teen like I’m supposed to make mistakes but they see me as the leader and they yell at me and I’m in trouble all the time for no reason. Can you help me? Sorry the story is all over the place but honestly I wanna leave...

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Not being able to have the independence to live a normal teen life sounds really frustrating. Leaving home is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

            It’s great to hear that your friend and their family support you. If you do opt to leave your home your aunt and uncle can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If you go to stay at your friend’s house without prior permission from your aunt and uncle, your friend’s parents (or whoever is the legal adult at home) could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Penalties for harboring a runaway vary from state to state, police officer to officer, and how your aunt and uncle view the situation.

            If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS

        • Hello I'm 17 and want to take in my other 17 yr/o friend to live with me. My friend has two divorced parents and an abusing father they are living with, their mother's relationship is complicated (mostly fights but never hurt them as much as their father does). I wish to be there for my friend and offer a safe home for them to shelter in until they turn 18. Problem is my parents would be accepting but the law scares them. My friend's parents seem willing to allow my friend to live under my roof but if say they are allowed to stay over by parent's permission, wouldn't the law be brought up and we'd be taking my friend under legal parental guidance? My parents don't want to become their next legal guardian but I want to help out so badly. Not to mention my parents are foreign, the mix of cultures (language) is confusing and hard to explain to them about my friend's situation. Please, I need a way to communicate to my parents that my friend is worth all the trouble. How do I help?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. You are being a really supportive friend and it’s really generous that you are offering up a safe place for them to go to due to their current home life that seems pretty stressful and difficult. We aren’t legal experts, but if you friend were to get permission from her parents to leave (maybe a written note) then there isn’t any legal consequences that can come from your parents allowing her from staying there. Your parents wouldn’t really need to go through a legal process to transfer guardianship, as long as the parents are willing to sign papers/documents when your friend is needing it for something.
            You may only run into some complications if your friends parents aren’t okay with her staying with (which doesn’t seem to be the case). We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7. --NRS

        • Hi I am 13 and I am transgender and I don't won't to live at home with my dad but I can't go live with my mom because she is in the nursinghpme.and I need to move because my dad dose not exempt me for who I am.and my friends mom Sade that I could live with them but I am scared to tell my dad that I do not won't to live with him.and he dose not do anything in the house I am the one that has to do the londre,dishes,and even have to cook super for my self.and he works when it is not raining.I can't even talk to my own dad what I am going throw so can I move out and go live with my friends family.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for contacting NRS. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress at home and are not sure what your options might be. Home should be some where you can feel comfortable to be yourself and feel supported.
            We are not legal experts by any means but we can give you some information about what leaving home might look like. If you were to leave home without your dad’s permission, he does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal but it could mean that police would return you home and your friend’s parents could get into trouble for harboring a runaway. You did mention that your friend’s mom would take you in, but you are afraid to talk to your dad about living somewhere else. Talking with parents can be scary and difficult, but we are able to help with that if you feel additional support might be helpful. We can facilitate a conference call between you and your dad to ensure that the conversation is productive and make sure your voice is heard.
            If you want to talk more about your situation or explore options, we encourage you to call or chat us at 1-800-786-2929 or www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 if you need someone to talk to!

        • How do I trell my mom I want to live with my friend I’m 14

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello.
            Thank you for reaching out to us. It’s great that you have a friend you’re so close with that you’d like to live with them. And it would be understandable that you’d want to live with them, especially if something’s going on at home.
            You did the right thing by contacting us for more information. While leaving home as a minor isn’t a crime, you’d have to have your mother’s written permission to live with someone else so she doesn’t get in trouble with the police. The people you’d like to live with would also need your mother’s permission to have you stay with them if they’re adults.
            If you’d like to chat with us or give us a call at 1800RUNAWAY, we’re available 24/7 and can help talk about specifics and more about what may be going on at home.
            We’re looking forward to hearing from you and wish you the very best!
            Thanks for reaching out.
            -NRS

        • Hi, I'm 15 and I cant take my dad anymore. I know my grades aren't the best but I've been trying to get them up and my dad doesn't get that. He still yells at me my bother and my mom. recently I've been standing up for myself, brother, and mom but that makes him even more mad. He has also called us names and thinks we are all dumb and don't know anything. I get that he has bought a lot of expensive things and I thank him for that but then he goes and does all this crap. I've wanted to ask my my mom if she would ever get a divorce but I haven't had the courage to do this. I don't think they would ever get one, so I don't know what to think. I've thought about running away but live on a highway and I get to scared of my dad, so I haven't ever fulfilled it. I have a best friend that would love to have me and so would their family. the problem with that's they aren't exactly financially inclined if that is the right words. They also wouldn't have a room for me. Another problem is my parents would never let me or sign and consent forms. I just don't know what to do. Please help meeee.
          Last edited by ccsmod10; 03-07-2019, 10:56 PM.

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help you out. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

            Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get charged with what is called “harboring,” if your parent’s didn’t give you permission to stay there. Rarely, the police will hold a youth in juvenile detention for 24 or 48 hours or until the legal guardian can pick them up. You could consider calling your local non-emergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

            If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 69866 the word “safe,” and your location (Ex: 69866ChicagoSafe) to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.

            It can be difficult to manage situations like this and you don’t have to do it alone One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, you said it’s hard for you to find the courage to speak to your mom about how you feel about your dad. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you and provide support. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and trying your best despite the circumstances. Standing up for not only yourself but your brother and mom shows great character. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

            Wish you the best
            -NRS

        • Im 14 from North Carolina and at home its a nightmare my dad is mean to me and i have been grabbed by the neck by him before.I want to live with a friend, if they told me it was okay and i had their permission could i stay with my friend?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for writing in to the National Runaway Safeline’s online forum. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their home, and it sounds like your father is contributing to that. You are entitled to filing an abuse report with Department of Child and Family Services by calling your Statewide Reporting Hotline at 919 527 6340 or by finding your local county number at https://www.ncdhhs.gov/divisions/soc...ocial-services.

            The age of majority in North Carolina is 18, which means that at 15 years old then you have 3 years left of being considered a youth under the law. If you left home to stay with your friend’s family and your Dad filed a runaway report, your friend’s parents/guardians could be charged with harboring a minor. If your father did give his consent, however, you may be able to live with their family. We aren’t legal experts, so try reaching out to Legal Aid of North Carolina for additional assistance. You can find them online at www.legalaidnc.org or by calling their hotline at 1 866 219 LANC (5262).

            Safe Place is a national youth outreach and prevention program for young people under the age of 18 (up to 21 years of age in some communities) in need of immediate help and safety. Visit them online at www.nationalsafeplace.org or text the word “Safe” and your current location to 4HELP (44357) for immediate help.

            Remember that you can call us 24/7 at 1800 RUNAWAY and speak with a trained volunteer to discuss options and gain additional resources. Take care!

        • hi. i am 15 and want to go live with my friends family. my friends family are letting me come stay with them and already have a bed for me. my parents are not very good people, especially my mother. for years they've been verbally and psychologically abusive (sometimes physically too). last night i actually left my house to go stay with my friends. my parents ended up calling the police and they came to get me at around midnight. they forced me to go back home because me parents did what they always do; they lied and said i was making it all up, making it seem like i was the bad person. they've been doing this kind of thing for years and i cant take it anymore. i do not feel safe in their homes and i am not emotionally stable enough to live there. what do i do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. We are sorry you are experiencing abuse, no one ever deserves to go through that. You do have the right to report the abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can either do it yourself or call into us directly and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.

            Also another way you can seek help is reaching out to a friend, teacher, or counselor at school that can help you look for resources. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov (call them directly at 1-877-726-4727) or NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness 1-800-950-NAMI to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).

            Another thing that you can do is look into emancipation, where you can have the right of an adult. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process
            It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs you have to your parents.

            We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

            -NRS

        • I'm 14 and I hate my family is live with my uncle and aunt and all they do is get on to me and yell at me and get on to me about my grades even tho I'm really trying and whenever I have friends over I get in trouble for the most stupidest things like if I have my girlfriend overy and I forget I'm not supposed to close the door but do close the door is get in trouble but I've been going over to my girlfriend's house lately for 5 months now and her family is so nice to me and it just feels like home there with her she is 13 tho but me and her have been talking about me moving in with her but we're both scared about what her family would say and what my family would say .

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your aunt and uncle have been on your case so much and seem to be making you so miserable. It must be very frustrating to have them overstepping your boundaries. However, it is great that you have found support from your girlfriend and her family throughout these difficult times.

            Moving in with your girlfriend and her family definitely could be a possibility. Typically, as long as you are considered a minor in the state you live in, your guardians get to determine where you live. That means that, if your aunt and uncle are your guardians, you would need to get permission from them in order to live somewhere else.

            Simply moving out might be a difficult option to pursue, and it might be worth it for you to explore other options you have in case you are unable to convince your family or hers. If you would like to talk more about your situation and what other possibilities there are, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

        • I am 14 about to turn 15 in ten days I’m hurting at home contanlty feeling the odd one out and feeling like I have no one. I constantly feel suicidal but I have a second mom that’s not blood but I can go live with her!! Will the police let me? I want to run away because it’s not okay how I’m feeling and I just need to get my thoughts get together!! I don’t know what to do I’m hurting deep down inside and it’s making me feel like I’m ready to give up on life I want to be a runaway but I don’t wanna go to foster care I want to live with my second mommy!! Will they let me and what should I do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Sorry to that you’ve been feeling so sad and suicidal. That can be a really tough feeling to have. It’s hard to feel isolated or like the odd one out, but there are people there for you. It’s really painful to feel that way on the inside.
            There are a few different resources that are available that you could look into. One of them is called NAMI it is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Their phone number is 800-950-NAMI. They also have a website that is www.nami.org.
            There is another resources that is called the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their phone number is 800-273-8255 and their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
            Both of those resources can be very helpful when feeling down.
            If you wanted to discuss options that are available in your specific area as far as legal ones to discuss living with your other mom we’re here to listen and help. We can be reached at 800-RUNAWAY, or by chat.
            Best,
            NRS

        • I am 17 in California looking for really good advice about my situation at home last year k ran away due to my father hitting me a lot and ran to my girlfriends house the parents then had issues with the husbands father who causes a lot of problems so they decided to move out also they have 7 kids and me altogether is 8 people plus parents Is 2 so we moved back to my fathers house altogether
          and he caused issues with them and complains a lot to them so they want to move out to and he told them I can't leave with them but last year when the cop came to the house he said as long as it was alright with my caregivers that I could live with them and they had a case number and everything and today my dad tells me that if I try and run away he will rid of my social papers and drop me out of school and k would be on the streets can anyone please tell me my California 17 year old rights to choose a family to live with and not suffer legal actions I looked it up online it says children within ages below 17 will suffer legal actions except 17-18 plz help me

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds like you’re in a complicated situation and your dad is making things more stressful; that must be really stressful. Due to the fact that your father had previously OK’ed you living elsewhere it may be worthwhile to contact your local DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) office for advice on choosing where you can live. If you’d like help finding your local office you can go to childhelp.org.

            Generally speaking, if you do live somewhere without your father/guardian’s permission, he can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your parents/guardians. Once you turn 18 you will be considered a legal adult and can live where you please.

            If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS
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