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There is only a little bit before I explode

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  • There is only a little bit before I explode

    I am a 16 year old female from the beautiful but cold state Massachusetts. My mom is the most emotionally abusive person in my life. She is manipulative, and when CPS came into the house she would record me in my worst moments. Even scared me by saying she installed cameras into the house. At my old highschool before I switched districts a guy tried to sexually harass me. He pulled me onto his lap and tried to do sexually explicit things. I opened up to my mom today in a crying fit during vacation. The first thing she says is “I’m calling the school to find out” She also walked away and started to scream at me accusing me of lying. Then I started video chatting my boyfriend for valid proof and she started to calm down and start recording me on her phone saying this is proof. My boyfriend and I did nothing but address the situation in a nice manner. There has been moments where she’s screamed at me in the car for an hour and as soon as her friends come around she will tell me to stop crying and pretend nothing happened.

    in March I was in the hospital because of an almost attempted and she told me to stop feeling depressed and I had no reason to. My dad isn’t in my life. He’s dead and I miss him dearly. she joked with the nurse saying my feelings were invalid.

    she also uses the excuse of me being apart of the LGBT community to verbally abuse me. she’s screamed at me and everytime I say someone is bullying me at school instead of comfort she threatens to go to the school and talk to my teachers while yelling. Once I said I wanted to do online school and she called me screaming and crying telling me that she would take away all my communication for the world.

    now that I’m 16 and a half I was wondering when I’m 17 would they return me back home? I have two jobs at the moment and I know I’ll have a place I could stay that’s safe. My mom is just unstable and she threatens to stop feeding me but CPS was in the family and I called them and believe it or not, they closed the case without investigating because she was buddy buddy with my case workers.

    i need to get out. help.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer:

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

    Another thing that you can do is look into emancipation, where you can have the right of an adult. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process.
    Also another way you can seek help is reaching out to a friend, teacher, or counselor at school that can help you look for resources. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at (call them directly at 1-877-726-4727) or NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness 1-800-950-NAMI to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)

    If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

    Stay Strong,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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