Feel as if Parents are affecting my future negatively

[Guest]

I'm 18 and constantly thinking of ways to set myself up for my future. I'm currently not able to financially support myself and I feel like my parent's make it even harder to do so yet they're pressuring me to get a job. When I was working and making progress they encouraged me to quit the job saying my boss was terrible. They're very uneducated, so it's very hard to communicate with them as they stereotype everything and think very strongly of their opinions even when blatantly incorrect. This also makes me not feel comfortable talking to them about anything personal because they will even stereotype me. Recently they have been drinking alcohol more days than not and making choices that affect my future without telling me while drunk. I can't go into detail with the choices due to fear of embarrassment if recognized. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have had lots of thoughts about getting away from them as soon as possible, but things are only getting harder and I still can't financially support myself. My social skills are also not the greatest, so I find it extremely awkward to go into stores or businesses asking about jobs. I have a really hard time with everything because I care about them a lot since they're my parent's, but they're just making my life worse.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out. That sounds like a tough situation – it seems like you’re really trying to set yourself up for success and your parents are making it hard on you. That having been said you’ve done a really good job of assessing your situation and seeing what you need. So let’s see if we can make things a little easier.

It sounds like one thing you’d like to work on is becoming financially independent. Finding a job can be really hard, and it makes sense that you would feel awkward walking into places to ask for a job. However there’s lots of advice out there for getting a job even when you feel like you’re shy or don’t have great social skills. You could look online, or try to find a local support group, or reach out to your school if you have any ties there. Since you’re 18 there’s a good chance you’re legally an adult (unless you live in Alabama (19), Nebraska (19), or Mississippi (21)), in which case you’re completely allowed to make job decisions for yourself, and housing decisions once you have the money. If your parents are making decisions that are putting that in jeopardy and you think it would help, you could try to talk to them about that. It also sounds like living with your parents is draining in general. If you have anyone you can talk to about that, it can sometimes help to get things off your chest and process.

We’d be happy to talk about your situation in more detail if you ever want to give us a chat (on our website) or phone call (1-800-786-2929). We’re free to talk 24/7, and are totally confidential. You’re clearly trying really hard to get on your feed and that’s really admirable – we’re here to help if you need it.

-NRS