How do I talk to her?

[Guest]

Since I hit puberty my mom and I's relationship has been rocky just because my interests and opinions have changed. It's only lately though that I've become disgusted with her. About a week ago I stood up for my opinion and agreed with my dad about an issue with my brother and she hit me for it.

She always has to be right, and when she really realizes she's not, she makes a big deal out of it that "SHE" actually admits that she did. She's always pointing out everyone else's mistakes to no end while ignoring if she ever did the same thing as well which is very hypocritical which she says she hates.

Her expectations are always out of hand for everyone to follow. "I don't expect anything more of anyone than I expect of myself." She says. Problem is, even she admits she has a little bit of OCD and thinks it's a GOOD thing. So she's a cleaning/organization/everything-has-to-be-perfect-or-the-world-will-end kind of person. Examples could be when she just has to point out how many times she wiped the counters today or that I'm only ALLOWED to get a B in math this year but everything has to be an A. If anything is out of place or something is messed up, she sees it. I know mothers do that on a regular basis but on top of that she is extremely over protective and irritates me so much because when I finally do get friends outside of homeschooling, she has to know more than I do about them for me to do anything with them.

I really want to talk to her about it, but the couple times I've tried she just says, "forget it", "screw you", or points out all my negatives. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm still a kid. I've come to the point when I get out of the house I'm not going to want to deal with her, but I don't want it to come to that because I love her. I'm just so tired of putting up with saying "yeah" all the time just to agree with her so she'll leave me alone.

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Re: How do I talk to her?

Thanks so much for writing in and sharing a little bit about what you are dealing with right now. It sounds like your dealing with a really difficult situation at the moment. You mentioned that you and your mom are having a pretty turbulent relationship at this point. It sounds like you love her and want to have a relationship with her but are so frustrated with the situation and how she is making you feel. It seems that with you getting older, you are wanting to express more of your own ideas and opinions and that your mom isn’t dealing with that very well. It’s understandable that you’re frustrated with the situation and that the older you get the more independent you are wanting to become. Now it sounds like you have tried to discuss this situation with your mom and she just gets angry. You even mentioned that she hit you one time. Has she ever hit you before? Do you feel threatened at home or feel you are in danger? Have you ever spoken with your dad or brother about this situation? Is there any one else you have been able to talk to about this? Perhaps a friend or school counselor? If you want to talk more in depth about the situation you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to listen. If you just need to talk about your situation, discuss options, or even find some resources in your area, we are here for you. In the meantime take care and you can give us a call anytime.