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I want to kill myself because of my mom.

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything that has been going on. Moving can sometimes be a difficult change to adjust to. It also sounds like the relationship with your mother has been strained due to past and current issues. The relationship you have with your father does not appear to be any better. You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. It is not your fault that this is happening.

    The situation sounds very frustrating for you. We’re glad you reached out. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care.
    It is times like these that it might be nice comfort to have a listening ear.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We would be glad to speak with you about strategies or options that might help you to cope better with your situation.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Sometimes having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more about your situation and we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    You did a wonderful job reaching out today. Good for you.
    If you feel at risk or in danger from your parent’s you can file an abuse report with child services by contacting Child help 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org


    If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, we encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255


    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I hate it in my home, my mother's on medication so I understand some mood swings. But she doesn’t work or clean. And even tho she dose The same thing to my dad he always takes her side. I literally do all the housework chores and clean up my sisters and when she washes her own dishes and stuff she uses it against me.We will be in a fight and I do my best to stay calm but it’s so hard and when my dad gets home she morphs my words and tells him how horrible I am and stuff. I’m not overly sensitive, or I do t consider myself to be. And I understand every parent yells but she’ll keep piling on insults to me like she’s some teenage girl in my class, I’ve been going to the school counselor since I was little ya help me deal with my stress, but it keeps getting worse, and so does she. Every time we fight and she even so slightly moves her hand I’m scared she’s going to strike me again and same with my dad, and then when I flinch they yell “good u should be scared”. They’ve driven me to the point where in the summer I always have a friend over (they’re a bit more calm when there’s company) or I leave to a friends house for weeks at a time. She’s driven me to hurt myself and I can’t tell anyone about it. She’s so mentally and verbally abusive I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to die. I’m so tired, and done feeling like trash.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-17-2020, 03:50 AM.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Please see our reply to your email after this or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello......
    My name is I’m 15 my mom cares more for my sister than my mom I hate my life so much I literally sleep on the ground while my sister have a bed for my little sister my mom is mean to me can I please leave her and live with my grandma she’s a pain I’m depressed because of her I cry myself to sleep everynight hoping to be a better day tomorrow I just don’t wanna be alive anymore I tried to kill my self over 14 times Bc I’m sad I just wanna get away from all of this please help me my life is bad I’m having issues I just don’t like being with my mom she let her boyfriend talk about me like I’m trash she sit there and take his side every Time something happens I hate her so much she’s so stressful I’m crying right now writing this...........IM ********ING DONE I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH IM REALLY GONNA KILL MYSELF IF I LIVE WITH HER ANY LONGER IM DONE WITH THIS ******** THIS IS ********ED UP MAN I HATE HER SO MUCH I HATE THIS WORLD IM DONE WITH EVERYTHING SHE TREAT MY SISTER WAY BETTER THAN ME SHE TREAT ME LIKE ********ING ******** IM DONE.
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 05-14-2020, 11:03 PM. Reason: removed name for confidentiality

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    It was very brave of you to reach out to us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. Abuse of any kind is never okay and it is not okay that your mom hits you. Your mom's harsh reactions and abusive behaviors are not your fault. You do not deserve to be treated this way or to feel like your mom is manipulating you. You do deserve to feel supported, safe and cared for. Speaking up about the difficult things going on at home took a lot of courage and strength. It was a great step to take to get any support you may need.

    It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well.

    If you are not quite ready to talk to someone in person yet about your mom's abusive behavior, you can contact an advocate at Child Help, 1-800-422-4453 childhelp.org. You can learn more about ways to get help with this and how CPS might be able to intervene if you decide to make a report.

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom hits my over the stupidest things like if I have a B- in school. And I keep telling her that she can’t even do the things that I’m doing in school because she doesn’t even know 2 to the second power. If I called CPS she would beat me worse than ever, she tries to manipulate me by buying me stuff but that doesn’t hide the fact the the abuses me one time she hit me in the head with a plastic ladle. I am 12 years old. I feel like if I don’t kill myself I will end up killing my mom.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS,
    It seems like you have been through a lot and your mom has been a large part of this conflict and negativity. It seems like you felt a lot safer and supported at your cousins’ house then when you’ve lived with your mom. You said that she had come and taken you away from there, it may be possible that she doesn’t actually have full custody of you and your siblings still. If you had a social worker that you had worked with or that your cousins remember working with it might be worth reaching out to them and see if there are options to get you out of your moms care.
    Your mom shouldn’t be going around calling you stupid and putting you down all the time. It may be worth looking into ways that you can get outside support, like a counselor or therapist or hobby, that lets you talk about your feelings or avoid being around her as much as you can. If you wanted help seeking legal aid for finding out custody things, or want to spitball more ideas for dealing with the situation or just need someone to talk with please reach out through our online chat function or call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom constantly makes me feel bad about myself.. about 4 years ago my mom was arrested and me and my brothers were forced to live with our cousins everything was great and for the really first time i felt like i could be myself i felt something that made me feel great with them and that feeling was understood. until she came and took me away from them and when i tell you that was the worst day of my life it was. i would cry every night and she would just say "shut up its not that serious" to say that to a 10 year old during a time like that really makes me think why the hell was i even born. About 2 years past and were staying with my father. But yet even though its his home she walks around like she ********ing owns it. im sorry for my language but thats just how upset she has me. she continues to call me stupid making me feel bad anytime im happy at a place she takes me away just so me and my brothers can watch her smoke like what a good influence not! i think it would be in my best intrest to live with my dad away from all this

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you have had some frustrating times at home with your mother. That must be pretty hard for you. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change.
    Sometimes when communication breaks down with someone you are close to you making it difficult to know just where to turn. You did well reaching out today. We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.
    There are other options that don’t include harming yourself.
    Your safety and well-being is important.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.


    Reaching out today was a good first step towards having your story heard.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I keep telling myself I don't have depression. But I don't know anymore. I feel sad and I cry because of my mother that never loved me. She only cares about my grades and how I do in sports etc. Furthermore she treats me like a burden. My dad has never been present in my life. He just says that he never wanted children (I have 2 younger siblings) He never helped my mother financially and she brings in the money at home. That is why we are struggling financially. My mother would always bring this up and then I feel bad myself. This has limited my opportunities in life. What's also bad is that I'm struggling with social anxiety which makes speaking my mind not even a possibility. I've tried subtly telling my friend about it feeling so awkward while I'm doing it. But her reaction was exactly what I expected. Annoyed, didn't believe me of course. She thought I was seeking attention and complaining. So I never brought up my feeling etc. up again in fear of the same reaction to other people. My mother hasn't been paying attention to me lately and I can tell, she never asks me how I am etc. Always goes straight to my achievements. I have dropped high jump for a year now because I can't handle being around people and being helped/judged by the couch in front of them and self-doubt has slowly taken me over. I only talk softly and I stammer a lot. I get easily triggered if I'm chewed out or judged on my personal hygiene or clothes or anything about me. I've self harmed in the past for reasons I don't even know. I just felt sad. Usually when I feel left out or receive a lot of pressure from my mother and school. I get so many thoughts of just killing myself to just end the fear and doubt because afterwards I won't have to care anymore. I want to feel that relieve. But I'm definitely not depressed I'm sure of it.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-16-2020, 07:58 AM.

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i want to kill myself because of my parents. they both are undergoing financial burden and i have been caught up in their anger. everyday i am physically, verbally and mentally abused by them. it has become so bad i once had a razor in my hand and i was ready to kill myself. i cannot deal with them anymore, everytime i try and talk sense out of them it back fires as i get beat up or mentally abused as they always say "i wish i had killed you when i was a child" and also they say "i wish you would jump off the balcony so that we dont have to see your face again. i am being tortured during this pandemic as i have to be with them 24/7 i need help i really do and youre my last resort to what ever might happen to me .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you are really going though it feeling down and stressed, and dealing with how your mom has been treating you. Your feelings are valid and you deserve some stability and respect in your life. Those feelings you have been having and crying everyday are significant, and here at NRS we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

    It sounds like you have thought about harming yourself or ending your life. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

    We are glad that you have your grandma during this, and we encourage you to go to her as a support since you are not getting what you need from your mom. You might ask her to help you get access to a therapist or counselor so you can talk to someone regularly about how you are feeling. We have a database of mental health resources if you would like to call or chat us.

    It's understandable that you are feeling hesitant to reach out to CPS and report the abuse. If you would like to talk to a confidential line who are experts in CPS and how CPS would respond before you report, you might reach out to Child Help 1-800-422-4453. If you decide that reporting is in your best interest and would like assistance, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can connect you to your local abuse hotline.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk more. We are here for you.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I can't do this anymore ugh. My mom just nitpicks and always harshly criticize me. Not only to me but to my little brother who's 6 and have autism and to my grandma. It's annoying. I know i'm kinda use to it but at the same time I always find myself crying because she makes me hate myself and not feel safe. She yells at my brother consistently more than me a bit and hits him. It annoys and makes me sad, angry, and stressed out, especially since I'm always scared to try to protect him from her. It's too much.

    I've thought about cutting and killing myself but they thought of killing and cutting myself sadden yet make me sick a bit, so I just bite myself sometimes or dig my nails in me sometimes. Not only that but she puts a lot of pressure on me and she always be like "you have no reason to be stressed out I'm the only one that actually has a reason to be stressed out so shut the F up" which is annoying as heck. The school she put me in is a cyber school that's pretty strict and stresses me out. I told my mom that it stressed me out but no like she even cared.

    She's so annoying, epsecially when she's drunk too... always freaking picking on me and making me uncomfortable, getting mad at stupid pointless sh*t and playing her stupid music that she thinks everyone wants to hear but really don't and gets annoyed ugh. She even got mad because one time I said I was going upstairs because I couldn't hear any videos on my tablet because of the loud music. She was like "******** you, known of you don't know how to party, etc."

    She consistently switches up to this immature teen/mom to this mom that always gotta criticize someone and be abusive.

    I know this is all wrong and I need to call the CPS (whatever it's called i forgot), but I'm scared that me and my brother will be taken away from my grandma who lives with my mother and my cat that I really love so much. She's like a best friend, especially since I don't really have any... will, friends in real life except for my cat and another girl in church that's younger than me. I hate this life and I feel like in the future the abuse will get much worse and I feel like she may even harm my cat (since she yells at my cat and scares it), or my grandma.

    I just want to be free I hate this life. No friends, abusive mom, weak, scared and anxious over crap. I just wanna cry all day and just disappear to a happier place... I'm only 12 going onto 13 in August. I even thought about running away but i think it'd be useless...

    my grandma even said that she'd call the CPS but she didn't want me or my brother to be taken away from the house since she lives with my mom... i'm scared


    -Anonymous

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello.
    Thank you for reaching out to us. We’re sorry you’re having such a difficult time with your mom. Dealing with a parent who suffers from anger issues is a very difficult thing to do, and it’s good you’re doing what you can think of to escape and find someplace safe to be. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. You’re important and deserve to be respected, supported, and loved in your own home. That’s why you did the right thing by reaching out for support.

    If you’ve been hit, we want you to know that’s often considered child abuse and it’s important to talk to someone who understands child abuse and can help you learn more about what you can do to get support. You can contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800.422.4453 or at childhelp.org. They have a live chat on their website as well. Whether you call or chat with them on their site, you’ll connect with an expert who can help you with your situation.

    If you ever feel like hurting yourself because the pain feels overwhelming, please contact the National Suicide Lifeline at 800.273.8255. You can learn more about them at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They’re ready to provide emotional support in very tough times and help you when things feel overwhelming.

    We also invite you to call us at 800.RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We’re also confidential and can talk to you more about what’s going on, give you some things to consider and some other options to help.

    Whatever you decide, we’re here to listen and here to help, 24/7. We hope things get better between you and your mom and we wish you the very best!
    -NRS
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