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I want to kill myself because of my mom.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hello I just want to tell my story so I am currently 13 i will be turning 14 December 27th so it all started when i was younger like maybe 5 maybe younger life was so good for me i didn't have a little sister at the time life was so awesome my mother ever beat me or nothing but when i was like 6 my mother had my little sister i was 6 in the kindergarten I was the best big sister ever but that's when the problems started I remember when I was trying to change my little sister diaper that had doo-doo in it i got it every where and my mother got mad at me but first of all my mother was not there i was 6 years old i didn't know better it was her fault she started yelling and cursing at me she was saying " you stupid ass ********** why the ******** would you do that who told your dumbass to do that use your ********ing brain dumb **********". and she kept saying it over and over again. that's how it all started once I turned 7 I remember my dad telling me " don't say nothing stay in your room make her feel bad" and that's what i did and when i came out my room to talk to my dad she comes out and say " you are my favorite child" . like what she is so fake. but let's fast forward to 3rd grade so one day i was on my way going to school so i was in a rush so i didn't make up my bed so i sat in the living room waiting for my dad and she comes out her room to the living room where i am at and smacks me so i pulled her hair and when i mean i didn't mean too i really didn't it was like the devil was in me cause as soon as she smacked me i pulled her hair. so she goes yelling screaming like she always does very childish. so we didn't talk for a good lil while but we did it took sometime or whatever but lets go to when i was in middle school that's when hell broke loose so 6th grade that's when i started liking boys cause you grow up and she didn't like that i started fighting because girls were jealous of me over boys i didn't even like so my mother was a horrible mother all through out my middle school years it's been hell i ran away from home 3 times i lied to her because she never understood what i am going threw i always helped myself i always feel sad like i want to kill myself end my life because of the stress my father will play both sides like when she mad at him he want to be my friend but when she's mad at me he play like he don't talk ******** about her behind her back i just never say nuffin i used to take my mother stuff because everytime she get mad at me she takes away my stuff so i wanted to get back at her like i'm not a theif i just want to get back at her for the cruddy ******** she does to me . during the pandemic i worked my ass off everyday to pass my grades she don't see the ******** that i do she says im stupid and dumb i remember she threw piss on my face when i was in the 4th grade in front of my 2 cousins she don't care about me she hates me she ruined my whole entire life she calls me **********es and everything i feel useless i wanna die hurt myself no one will ever understand i cry and cry ******** seems to don't change i put a knife to myself in front of my father and my mother they called it weak ******** stupid ******** dumb ******** all of the above my life sucks right now what's the purpose. she don't believe in me i say i want to become a model, lawyer, actress, be a character on gta game and i want to date the rapper lil durk but she says it will never happen imma be ******** imma be a hoe on the street and she says i'm a dirty ass ********** i'm lazy. she dont help me with my hygiene at all she only gives me stuff she never told me when my period comes what to do i hate myself i wanna die but i wanna prove her wrong and be anything i want to be. i love everybody even if nobody loves me if your reading this i love you my heart is broken but its filled with love always remember you can be whatever you want . but sorry i can't be that example good bye have a wonderful day you all.!!!!!! xoxoxo
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 11-15-2020, 06:32 PM. Reason: removed personal ID info

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and we want you to know that we are here to support you. It sounds like the way your mom responds to you really affects you. We are so sorry to hear that the way she behaves has made you feel that everyone hates you. Regardless of how anyone feels, you deserve to be treated with respect. Please know that we are here to support you.

    It sounds like everything going on at home has left you feeling overwhelmed. Please know that we are glad that you felt comfortable reaching out to us for help. Your life is valuable and important, and we want you to know that if you are contemplating harming yourself, organizations like the National Suicide Lifeline, available at 1.800.273.8255 and at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ , are available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and want someone to talk to on a more consistent basis, it may help to explore whether there are counseling services in your area. If you would like to explore resources in your area, or if you just want to talk about your options, please do not hesitate to reach out to us.

    Whatever you decide, please know that we are here for you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you explore your options in the safest way possible. You can reach us 24/7 by phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat at www.1800runaway.org . We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mom keeps yelling my life is misrable I try and act happy for my mom and dad/ friends but I can't anymore I want to die she keeps yelling and I feel like a mistake she's always saying that one of my siblings is better than me because I keep losing everything I feel like my mom hates me and I think i'm a mistake she calls me a surprise just because she thought she could'nt have anymore babies, Pretty sure I'm the one that causes so much stress I just wanna die already everybody hates me

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
    We know you mentioned your mom yelling at you for not eating, she just may be worried about your health or she may be upset you are not eating after she cooked. Maybe you could consider eating a little bit to avoid arguing.
    We are sorry to hear that your mother is not supportive of your sexuality and reacted that way. It was very brave of you to try and tell her, hopefully others are more supportive when you let them know. Even though your mother is not interested in your characters do not let that stop you from being creative.
    We know you mentioned suicide, and we want you to know you are important and you are worth living. Suicide is a permeant decision to a temporary situation. If you are ever feeling suicidal, there is always someone willing to listen and willing to help. You can always contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. If you are afraid to talk on the phone they also have an online chat option.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My Mom is yelling at me for me not eating and she says that she is gonna punish me if I don’t eat but I’m not even hungry. Plus she treats me as I’m a person that she own. She yells at me for everything I almost do i am really stressed out because of her I don’t even want to see her ugly disgusting face ever again. My mom keeps comparing me to others and never says good things about me. I came out tell her about my sexuality and she was like “These are Bull********” and she doesn’t support me about this. Naturally I’m a really creative person who likes to create characters and I decided to tell my mom about my characters and she replied with “I’m not interested, These things are not interesting me” which made me really upset. And I want to kill myself because of my mom.

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your parents are giving you such a hard time and not respecting your religious preferences. You deserve the freedom to pursue whatever kind of spirituality you choose and it makes sense that you want to leave.

    While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your parent/guardian could file a runaway report on you but this would NOT mean that you would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return you home if they encountered you and that would be that. Some police can be more understanding about what is going on at your home. In our experience, police will oftentimes return the youth back to their guardian almost no matter what. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where you are staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. You can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch you or take you anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return you home. They also may not, in which case you should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety.

    Another thing to take into account is the current COVID-19 situation. It has made running away a significantly more difficult and dangerous endeavor and it might be something you want to consider if you are planning to leave. It may be wise to wait until the state of emergency ends and for it to be medically safe to leave quarantine.

    If you want to talk more about what is going on and what options you might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. You don’t deserve to be treated this way by your mom. Hitting you, making you sleep on the floor, choking you, and knocking your tooth out – non of this is OK. You deserve to live. You deserve your life.
    To get help, can you tell your psychologist what she does? If so, they are supposed to report this abuse to your state’s Child Protective Services. You deserve protection. You can also reach out to us either by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat service through www.1800runaway.org you deserve help and we want to help you make a report if your psychologist doesn’t.
    We truly hope you will reach out to us or to your psychologist for help. You deserve help. You deserve to be safe.
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to die because of my parents and im only 10 years old. my parents divorced my dad pretends i dont exist and my mom hits me all the time even for little things.My mom hates me i cut myself because she does not like me she makes me sleep on the floor and she yells at me even if i do nothing.If something isn't good enough she yells me or hits me. she knocked my tooth out of my mouth today.She also chokes me sometimes. She makes me clean all the time even if its not dirty.She said to jump off a building.I tried to run away but she found me.I try not to kill myself because im scared of dying and going to hell.She hits me during online school she makes me turn off my camera. If my cousin come over and break something she lets it pass but if i trip on something she says that all i want is attention. What do i do

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I dont like my parents, especially my mom. She only wants me to study. I cant use my phone in front of her. She will yell at me. She always calls me bad words. I have a 19 year old brother. She won't yell at him even if he does big mistakes. Iam a 15 year old boy from india. I mean I dont like my country also. How do I leave my family and also leave the country and live somewhere else like in america or europe? Help me with this.

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for responding to a forum post at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned losing your father.
    We’re sorry you’re going through this. You have our condolences. You don't deserve to be mistreated by anyone. We understand how upsetting it must be for you. It sounds like you’re feeling that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being are important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Guest View Post
    So my dad died and my mom never told me after that she's been so mean to me everyone is happy but not me so i feel like killing myself because of my mom and sister why why me you know bye
    That’s the exact same thing that is happening to me my dad died and my mums taking it all out on me and I just want to kill my self to end it all and my sister bullies me and takes advantage of me because I’m power less I have no one to ask help from or talk to and honestly the only thing I feel like I can do to make it all better is to kill my self

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything that has been going on. Moving can sometimes be a difficult change to adjust to. It also sounds like the relationship with your mother has been strained due to past and current issues. The relationship you have with your father does not appear to be any better. You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. It is not your fault that this is happening.

    The situation sounds very frustrating for you. We’re glad you reached out. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care.
    It is times like these that it might be nice comfort to have a listening ear.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We would be glad to speak with you about strategies or options that might help you to cope better with your situation.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Sometimes having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more about your situation and we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    You did a wonderful job reaching out today. Good for you.
    If you feel at risk or in danger from your parent’s you can file an abuse report with child services by contacting Child help 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org


    If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, we encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255


    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I hate it in my home, my mother's on medication so I understand some mood swings. But she doesn’t work or clean. And even tho she dose The same thing to my dad he always takes her side. I literally do all the housework chores and clean up my sisters and when she washes her own dishes and stuff she uses it against me.We will be in a fight and I do my best to stay calm but it’s so hard and when my dad gets home she morphs my words and tells him how horrible I am and stuff. I’m not overly sensitive, or I do t consider myself to be. And I understand every parent yells but she’ll keep piling on insults to me like she’s some teenage girl in my class, I’ve been going to the school counselor since I was little ya help me deal with my stress, but it keeps getting worse, and so does she. Every time we fight and she even so slightly moves her hand I’m scared she’s going to strike me again and same with my dad, and then when I flinch they yell “good u should be scared”. They’ve driven me to the point where in the summer I always have a friend over (they’re a bit more calm when there’s company) or I leave to a friends house for weeks at a time. She’s driven me to hurt myself and I can’t tell anyone about it. She’s so mentally and verbally abusive I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to die. I’m so tired, and done feeling like trash.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-17-2020, 04:50 AM.

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