Hello thank you for contacting the NRS. We are sorry to hear about the things that have been happening to you. If you feel you are in immediate danger, please call 911 for assistance. It seems like your parents are really abusive and have done things that are very wrong to you. If you would like we can report the abuse together to CPS on a conference call.
It seems you feel mocked and belittled because of your LGBT identity. We want you to know that you are allowed to identify in any way you like and do not deserve to be tortured because of it. One resource that may be able to help you is Child Help. They are a National Child Abuse Hotline for child abuse reporting. Their hotline number is 1800-422-4453, and their website is www.childhelp.org .
Based on the information that you have provided it seems like you have gone through a lot that may or may not have affected you emotionally. If you would like to talk to a mental health agency that may be able to provide you with some resources for your situation NAMI the National Alliance on Mental Illness may be able to provide you with some resources that may be helpful. You can contact them at 1800-950-NAMI or at www.nami.org or by texting NAMI to 741741. They may be able to talk with you about self-harming and help you come up with skills to use when you have those urges. If you feel like you are at risk for harming yourself you can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for help as well at 1800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org .
You mentioned last that you are thinking about running away and have found some options as far as places to go to. It is great that you have done some research. We hope one of those leads works out for you. You mention friends as one of your options. One thing to keep in mind is that if your family files a runaway report on you and the police find you they could take you back home. We are not legal experts but staying with a friend or anyone who knows that you are a runaway runs them the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. If you end up needing more resources as far as a place to go you can call in to our hotline at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org and we can try to find you some shelters in your area.
We are again, so sorry to hear what you are going through. You do not deserve any of it. We thank you for reaching out to us. We are a confidential, toll free and open 24/7. Take care of yourself
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I know running away is dangerous, but... (15, VA)
I know it's risky. And I seriously hope it doesn't come to this. But, if my parents move, I'll lose my support and the people who are trying to make a legal case for me. I am LGBT and my parents will be moving to Tenessee, a notoriously anti-LGBT state. My parents already steal and go through my things and harass me a lot for being transgender.
I am also concerned about the situation getting even worse. They are not always physically harmful to me, but they beat my brother over and over with a belt very hard when he had an argument with them. Sometimes if my mom is frustrated that I am not getting up she will do stuff like sit on my legs, push me, hit me over and over, prod me with a stick, pry open my eyelids, cut off my breathing, recite sermons in my ears for hours until I'm maddened, etc (My parents will pry my eyelids open if they think I'm faking sleep as well). My parents also frequently grab at me to make me give them hugs or do stuff, sometimes to the point of almost bruising me. They have not hit me wirh a belt or spoon recently but when I was 5-8 they would corner me, hold me down, and hit me with a wooden spoon over and over again very hard if I ever did anything they considered misbehaving. When I was slightly older they would hit me with a belt once or twice, and it would sting for the rest of the day but not be too bad.
My parents will sometimes cut off my breathing, plug up my nose, or cover my mouth to make me do stuff. My dad also screams at me sometimes, saying how I am ungrateful and do nothing, and that I'm nothing but a problem. My parents say I am their favorite because I "had the most problems as a kid" and they felt sorry for me.
In addition, they act nice around my counselors while mocking them behind closed doors. Once, a crisis worker made them sign a contract to respect and support me as their son, and as soon as they got home they mocked the social worker and said they didn't even care if CPS got involved (they would actively do things that made me upset or that they knew gave me urges to self harm, as well as taking away my privacy and making fun of, snorting, and yelling at me; I am still not allowed to lock or close my door, and at one point I was not allowed to go in it except to sleep). I have to stash away my binder that I got with my own money, otherwise they will steal it like last time and throw it out. I know if they ever find out their harassment and telling me stuff like how I look like a mental patient, how people are only nice to me because they're too polite to be rude, etc, didn't make me stop being trans, their treatment of me will get even worse. I wish I could say I don't fear physical punishment from them, but I do.
My parents have an utter disdain for counselors who don't support their behavior and actively mock health professionals and government officials behind closed doors. No one takes me seriously because they act kind and supportive in front of others.
I don't know what to do. I know that running away is a desperate measure but I struggle to see how I can survive through all of this. I have an escape bag with basic items and legal documents packed in case, and I have friends/knowledge of shelters in the area.
I think if they begin to mistreat me worse physically, I will certainly run away.
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