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I sent an email to this website before, but they suggested to use the online chat. It's unavailable/busy at the moment so I wanted to make a forum post for now. Questions are welcome. I'll do my best to share any details you need to give the best advice.
Here was my email quote about what's going on: "I've been suicidal since I was 9 because of my father's domestic violence towards my mom. I am 16 now. Lately my mom has been using my fear of my father against me and emotionally manipulating me, I think in part by her own trauma but maybe she picked up on his narcissism? She's in the process of divorcing him and moving out. She has a new boyfriend and I confess jealousy because it seemed like ever since he showed up she stopped caring about my and her husband's interactions and my fear of him. I feel really alone."
I also have been having panic attacks that lead to me dropping out of school for three years (since I was 13, October 2015, until now, July 201
. I've developed agoraphobia and started taking SSRI's for it in September 2017. It's helped my panic attacks a lot. I am able to go out to eat, go shopping, and leave the house with much less anxiety. My panic attacks are less frequent and a lot more easier to manage.
However, I've since been developing psychosis-type symptoms (like sudden hallucinations) and paranoia (sudden fears of and solid delusions in persecution, but it fades over the course of a day or so). These episodes are really scary, but they're usually short lived. It seems that my panic attacks have been replaced by angrier outbursts or paranoia instead of just nervousness and anxiety. I am very irritable and feel annoyed too easily. These other symptoms have been showing up this year, after a bad panic attack (???) episode in I believe February 2018. My dosage in SSRI's also doubled in October 2017, because they thought it would help my syncope episodes. I don't know how much of this is related or if I'm just developing another disorder.
I have talked to my doctor and while they recommend therapy, I am not allowed to go and my mom never takes my requests seriously.
Here was my email quote about what's going on: "I've been suicidal since I was 9 because of my father's domestic violence towards my mom. I am 16 now. Lately my mom has been using my fear of my father against me and emotionally manipulating me, I think in part by her own trauma but maybe she picked up on his narcissism? She's in the process of divorcing him and moving out. She has a new boyfriend and I confess jealousy because it seemed like ever since he showed up she stopped caring about my and her husband's interactions and my fear of him. I feel really alone."
I also have been having panic attacks that lead to me dropping out of school for three years (since I was 13, October 2015, until now, July 201
. I've developed agoraphobia and started taking SSRI's for it in September 2017. It's helped my panic attacks a lot. I am able to go out to eat, go shopping, and leave the house with much less anxiety. My panic attacks are less frequent and a lot more easier to manage.However, I've since been developing psychosis-type symptoms (like sudden hallucinations) and paranoia (sudden fears of and solid delusions in persecution, but it fades over the course of a day or so). These episodes are really scary, but they're usually short lived. It seems that my panic attacks have been replaced by angrier outbursts or paranoia instead of just nervousness and anxiety. I am very irritable and feel annoyed too easily. These other symptoms have been showing up this year, after a bad panic attack (???) episode in I believe February 2018. My dosage in SSRI's also doubled in October 2017, because they thought it would help my syncope episodes. I don't know how much of this is related or if I'm just developing another disorder.
I have talked to my doctor and while they recommend therapy, I am not allowed to go and my mom never takes my requests seriously.
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