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Is there a way to move in with my uncle?

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  • Is there a way to move in with my uncle?

    My dad passed away last year, and ever since then my mom hasn't been the same. One of my brothers also hurt me last year when I was defending my mom said it wasn't my business and that I should just leave the conversation, but I couldn't just stand there and let him yell at her for something stupid. She now let him and my oldest brother move back in with us, when she's had issues with them before. I'm at my uncle's house this weekend, and I'm scared to home . I'm always scared around my brother. I want to Liv with my uncle, but I also love my mom and don't want to leave her. But, she isn't being the nicest person right now. She doesn't listen to what I tell her she just brushes it off. And I feel like I just weigh her down when she's already struggling with food and money. She also doesn't really like my uncle and Aunt it took awhile to just convince her to let me come over for the weekend. But, I want to live with them and they wouldn't mind me living with em but I don't know how to get them legal custody of me.

  • #2
    It sounds like you live in a chaotic household and do not feel safe there. It is understandable that you would not want to go back to live with them in the house. We know that you mentioned that your brother has hurt you before, when you were defending your mother. We need you to know that no one has the right to hurt you in any way. If you feel like your mother’s home is no longer safe place for you while they are there it could be a good idea to talk to her about living arrangements. It sounds like staying with your uncle could be a long term solution but you are unsure of how to start the process. If you get your mother to consent of letting you live there that is usually enough to do so, but please note that since this is not legally binding she has the right to change her mind at any time. Getting custody transferred is more of a legal process that you would have to go to court for. You deserve to feel safe wherever you live and you always have the right to protect your safety.
    Since there is so much going on, it might be helpful to call us here to discuss this situation in more detail. We just want to make sure you’re safe and have a plan for any course of action you end up taking. If you’re unable to call in, you could try our Live Chat on this website.
    Best of luck in this difficult time,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      Okay, I don't feel safe calling a random person though and I have no data. I'm on wifi. In a way it is chaotic. By the way I doubt my mom will let me stay with them since she doesn't like them. And would probably not let come. I how could I live chat?


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello, again you can chat with us by going to, (click on the chat button). We understand that talking to a stranger may be a little scary. We hope that by chatting with us we can help in some way.

    • #4
      I am 11 years old. My mom and dad can get annoying sometimes and i would rather live with my uncle.


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment

        Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. We are very sorry to hear how stressful it is at home for you with your dad getting annoying sometimes. It is understandable that living with your uncle sounds better.

        We hope that you might reach out to us by phone or chat so that we can help you figure out how you want to handle this situation. The best way for us to help you is by listening to you and helping you figure out your options. We are here for you 24/7 either by calling 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through

        We really hope to hear from you so that we can talk this over. We are confidential and are here 24/7 to listen and help.

    • #5
      Im 14 turnning 15 in december. I live in india but I didn't know any other place to put this post up but I am a US citizen if that accounts to anything. I dont want to live with my parents anymore, they keep forcing me to do things i dont like and my mother has said "I wish you were never born" and i feel very stressed living with them. I want to move in with my uncle who's in Texas but i don't know what my parents will think when I tell them I want to move out. I still love them but it is hard for me to do many things i dont want and i've yold them before that it is hard for me to keep up with all the school needs i wanted to change my school ( as there are many schools in the same area that i live in ) but they said that i will adjust to the school that im in but I still haven't adjusted to the style of teaching that this school does and it has affected my grades a lot.


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    • #6
      you see i wan't to live with my uncle my mom gets drunk a lot now i really wanna run away but my mom don't like my uncle pls reaply soon i am leaving today.


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment

        Thanks for writing. It must be really hard living with a mom who is getting drunk every day. Living with your uncle may seem like an option to explore, but if your mother is against it, that could be an obstacle. In most states, if you are under 18, you would have to have your parents’ consent to live with someone else. If you were to leave without permission, police might just pick you up and take you back home. If possible, it might be wise to consider talking with a local counselor at your school for guidance on what may be available to support you in making the best and safest decision given your current situation.

        If you need further assistance, feel free to follow up with us at or 1800runaway. We are here to help.

    • #7
      My parents always criticize me for not being 'smart enough'. I get really good grades and behave well but when they criticize me, it stresses me out and I make mistakes. The rest of my family is also the same. I want to go and live with my uncle but I am scared to ask my parents because they might beat me.


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        [6:53 PM] Matthew Clay
        Hello,Thank you for your courage to put yourself first and to think about what environments would be best for you. Reaching out to people and places like NRS are exactly the kind of steps that will lead to long-term help. However, first things first – you mention your parents “might beat me”.  If this behavior has happened before, and continues to be a worry or threat, you may want to consider contacting your local police or Child Protective Services. They can examine the situation and open local resources that could lead to safer environments in your current home or elsewhere locally.  You can either Google search your local area numbers or contact us at 1-800-Runaway or chat online to get that information. There is also which specializes in child abuse and prevention so might be worth reaching out to as well.
        Bottom line: you deserve to be in a safe and supportive environment. In your note you identify an existing place that might be that safe place – your uncle’s home. In our experience with other youth in your experience, some find success in having their extended family help have this conversation with their parents. Is having your uncle - and/or other family members – talk with your parents first an option? Having another trusted adult advocate for you can be a way for your parents to understand your needs in a less tense environment. Whether a local authority or another family member, we encourage your gut instinct to find a mediator to help you get to a more stable and healthy living situation. You deserve. Please reach out again if we can be of any further assistance,The National Runaway Safeline

    • #8
      how do i convice my mom to let me live with my step- uncle, as he is the only outside family i talk/ have contact with. my parents are divorced and i live with my mom, before an incident i had with my sister, i had been the 'favrioute' but since then she has been an overall ********** to me, bullying me, manipulating me, gasllighting me, and just ignoring me all together, i finally have had enough with her and her bf, in which i wish to live with my step-uncle, but how do i convice her to let me live with him?


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        It sounds like you've been feeling pretty miserable in your mom's home, and being in an environment where you don't feel cared for can be really hard on your mental (and physical) health. You deserve to be in a home where you feel loved, accepted, and supported, and we're sorry that you haven't been feeling that.

        Moving in with your step-uncle might be tough if your mom (assuming she is your legal guardian) doesn't give her approval. It might be worth trying to have your step-uncle speak with her to see if he could vouch for you. If you have a counselor at your school, it might also be worthwhile to talk with them about your situation as they could provide support as well. When having a conversation with your mom about what you've been experiencing and the change you want, it can be useful to exclusively talk about your own feelings and experience, without any blaming (even if it feels deserved).

        If you want to discuss your situation more, we may be able to provide more in-depth insight. You can text chat us at or call us at 1-800-786-2929 any time to discuss things further. We are on your side, and you don't have to figure this out on your own.

    • #9
      I have a niece that feels unsafe at home. And she wants to come live with me. How can I get Her? And her mom does not like me


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, we appreciate you reaching out. It sounds like your niece is in a really tough spot, and it's good that she has you looking out for her. If you mean, how can you get to her to bring her home with you, we unfortunately aren't able to provide that; our only transportation option is able to bring youth who have run away from home back to their legal guardians, if they are under 18.

        If you mean, what precautions should you take / what do you need to be aware of in order for her to stay with you, we want to let you know that runaway laws can vary state by state, and can be enforced somewhat inconsistently across police departments. In most cases, parents have the majority of the rights of determining where their child lives, and are able to report them as a runaway if they leave (yes, even in situations where youth is being abused or doesn't feel safe at home). Police may or may not look for the youth and try to return them home; this is more likely with younger teenagers and children than with 16 and 17-year-olds.

        Knowingly hosting a runaway youth at home who has been reported can be considered 'harboring a runaway,' which can apply if the legal guardian chooses to press charges. Typically this can be circumvented if the person housing the youth contacts law enforcement and discloses that the youth is with them for safety.

        If they are experiencing abuse at home that has led to them feeling unsafe, it could be worth reporting it to Child Protective Services. The number to call to do so can be found by searching "child abuse reporting ______" with your state, or by contacting ChildHelp.

        We're here to help, please feel free to give our contact information to your niece as well if she would like someone to talk to during all of this. We're available 24/7 at or 1-800-786-2929.
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