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My step dad hit my mom

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  • #16
    My mom and my stepdad fight a lot and sometimes it gets violent I found out while visiting my dad she got my stepdad arrested for hitting her and holding her hostage with a gun in front of my little sister I was scared I didn’t wanna go back home but she told my dad that she had sole custody of me and I had to go home even though I didn’t want to A few days After he got out of jail she started seeing my stepdad again and forcing us to see him. she had put a restraining order on him temporarily but changed her mind when he said he wanted her back .She started seeing him in hiding because she thought she would get in trouble or that my real dad would find out because of the restraining order on my step dad . I don’t want to live with them anymore I want to live with my real dad but she doesn’t let me my dad tried going to court for me and I told the judge that I want to live with my dad that I don’t want to live with my mom anymore and that my dad can take better care of me. The judge isn’t listening to my dad or me I don’t know what else to do. I’m 13 and I get severe anxiety because of my mom and I don’t get like that with my dad and step mom. And because my dad went to court for me to get me away from my mom she’s refusing to let me see my dad and stepmom and brother and sister she tells them that I’m grounded takes away my phone and tells my dad A bunch of things to keep me away from them every time she gets mad. She’s always doing things to punish me and make me feel bad because I wanna be with my dad I’m scared to tell anybody the truth now because of what she does.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi! Thanks for writing to us at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We know it can be anxiety-producing to reach out for support, and we’re proud of you for doing that! It sounds like you’re describing that there’s domestic violence at your mom and stepdad’s home. We aren’t legal experts, but we can explore options with you, offer emotional support, and offer resources in your area. If you would like to do any of that you are welcome to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button). We would be happy to look up counseling resources to help support you with the anxiety you’re experiencing, but like you shared – it sounds like the anxiety is based on context when you aren’t feeling safe.

      You can learn more about Domestic Violence here (https://www.thehotline.org/identify-...ionship-abuse/) if you’d like, and might consider sharing this website with your mom when your stepdad isn’t around if that feels safe. It is, unfortunately, not uncommon for a perpetrator of abuse (your stepdad) to use power and control to convince the survivor of abuse (your mom) to continue the relationship. You might think about reading about how to create a safety plan here: https://www.loveisrespect.org/person...a-safety-plan/ at Love is Respect. Both of these websites also have online chat services and hotlines, if you are interested in additional support.

      The emotions you’re experiencing are normal, and you were brave to reach out today! Even though it can be scary to tell someone what’s happening at home, you can also consider telling another trusted adult, teacher, school counselor, or the police. You deserve to be safe. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for additional support via Chat or Hotline.

  • #17
    My son 12 seen his step father hit his mother and his mother said it wasn't that bad even when my son heard him say he was going to kill her.. my son jumped on his back hitting him saying .. get off my mom
    what can I do as my son now hates me for no reason and has been manipulated during lock down
    Can you help me
    I dont have money for court

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like your son and his mother have been going through a really difficult time, and we want you to know they are not alone.
      What you have described seems like domestic violence, which is unacceptable. You or your son can contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1800-799-7233. They also may be able to help with an order of protection from the step father. You can also consider having your son go to counseling since it seems like there is a lot going on at home.

      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here for you 24/7 to listen and to provide support.

      NRS

  • #18
    uh Hi My stepfather ckokes my mom until shes pass out in just tried to kill her by shooting his gun at ha car im really scared and i dont have a phone im on my school laptop.....

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way or to be placed in this kind of situation. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. If you find it difficult to get access to a phone, it may be helpful talking to a teach and asking to talk to them via email or private messaging. They will be able to help you make an abuse report and/or get help.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #19
    My dad hits my mom when he's drunk one day my dads' grandfather x and they started to fight and then my dad's grandfather left and my dad got into my sisters' room and started to take his clothes off and I told my mom and then my mom ran and then my mom locked me and my sisters in my room and then she called my aunts and told them to come and a few minutes passed by and they finally came and they took everything out and then we left to my aunt's house and now we came back with my stepdad and I always stop him when he hits my mom when he started hitting my mom was when I was 10 now I'm 11 and were all happy that he doesn't hit my mom anymore

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to know when to reach out for help, and we’re glad that you did. It sounds like you were in a really scary situation with your dad. We’re happy to hear that you and your family were able to go to a safer place.

      We’re glad that your stepdad has stopped hitting your mom. She doesn’t deserve to be hit. If she’s interested in receiving support, she can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or live chat at thehotline.org. If you ever find yourself in an immediate emergency, please call 911. To best help you, we would need to understand some more details about your situation and how we can best assist. If you’re considering running away, please reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We can help identify and explore your options. We’re here 24/7 and are confidential. We hope to hear from you soon.

  • #20
    Hello, I'm planning to run away because my family treats me like I'm not even part of the family.Is it possible if theirs a place I could stay near me?

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We’re sorry you’ve felt unwelcome in your home, you don’t deserve to be treated any differently or as if you were less. You deserve a place to call home and you are worthy of love.

      Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

      If you’re feeling unsafe and need a safe place to go and talk to someone, you may wish to visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org). This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there are any safe places near you listed. So that is always an option if you feel like talking to someone in person about what has been going on or if you just need of a safe place to stay.

      You also may use your phone to text the word “safe” and your current location (city/state/zip) to 69866. If there are safe places and shelters nearby, a list of those will be sent to your phone and you may have the option to text back and forth with a trained counselor as well.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #21
    This recently happened, my cousin told me about it and I came here in search of ways I can help them cause I understand they must be very scared right now. They told me it started with their mom finding out the nasty stuff their stepdad watches on his phone and he got all mad saying that it wasn't him but her 8 year old(my little cousin) My aunt was telling him to stop playing dumb cause how would it be a little kid watching that, and he goes stomping to his room yelling at him that its his fault and that he did this and their little brother was all scared of course crying cause why in his right mind told him to say that dumbest excuse that it was a little kid. My aunt calming him down telling him not to worry while the stepdad started pushing her and hitting her in front of him and they took it to their room cause my aunt didn't want him to see. They come out and my aunt had a black eye. She tells my cousins that she's okay says that the only way the stepdad can feel like a man is by hitting women and he gets insulted and goes furious back to her and hitting her again and she goes, see why you getting mad you're doing it right now again. The cousin that told me this is a girl(15) younger than her older brother(1 and she wanted to get in between because her brother doesn't do anything but watch when I think he should do something. When my aunt and stepdad had other fights she would get in between and get pushed choked and hit to protect her mom. For this fight she didn't know if to get in or not cause she sees her older brother never does anything and makes her wonder if she doing the right thing, I think she is, any child that cares for her mother will protect her no matter what. She told me she doesn't call the cops cause she is scared for her mother. If she calls them, will it affect her mom in any way because of the fact she doesn't have papers? She thinks if everything goes to court and stuff, will they do anything to her mom like take her away?

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out to us, we are glad that you did. It is understandable that you are scared and worried for your aunt and cousins. This sounds like such an awful situation for everyone. You can give your cousin our contact information so that we can listen and help them discover their options to help their mom.
      The National Domestic Violence Hotline is an excellent resource and they will have information on seeking help no matter what her documentation status is https://www.thehotline.org/
      You are an excellent cousin to seek out help for them and we hope to hear from your cousin soon either through live chat at www.1800runaway.org or via our phone hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)
      Sincerely,
      NRS

  • #22
    My stepdad used to be the nicest person ever. But for some reason he changed i mean does he have any idea how lucky he is he threw a cigarette maker at her and she still loves him i just hope he changes

    Comment


    • #23
      [QUOTE=Guest;n58109]I'm15 and my step dad hits me with a belt
      he says it's to educate me but sometimes he is just mad he hits me even if it's his son's fault my mom doesn't care she is always saying hit her and also students make fun of the clothes he makes me wear in school. I wished I was never alive

      He makes me wear loose baggy pants and long skirts if I say no he leaves Bruce's on me




      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to us. First off, it’s wrong to hit and abuse youth. We’re so sorry you’re putting up with this. Secondly, your mom should be protecting you and it sounds both your mom, stepdad, and his son are treating you absolutely horribly.

        It’s important that you find some adult support to help you take care of yourself. Here are a few places to reach out to:

        * If you want to report abuse, you can call your local police or call us directly, and we can talk you through the process. We’re at 1-800-786-2929 -
        * A school counselor can be someone to talk to as well about what your experiencing
        * Here are some other places to call to talk about what you are enduring and receive support and guidance
        * www.childhelp.org/(800) 422-4453
        * The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to enable victims to find safety and live lives free of abuse. www.thehotline.org Hotline800) 799-7233

        Lastly, if your are eperiencing any suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Lifeline at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ at (800) 273-8255
        You should not have to endure this treatment and you are brave to reach out to us today. We are here 24/7 and you can chat or call anytime.

        https://www.1800runaway.org.

        Good luck.
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