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  • My step dad hit my mom

    I don't really know what to do but I just want some comfort. I'm in disbelief, my step dad came home later than usual he usually gets home around 6pm but this day he came home late at like 10:20pm. Around 10:30pm I start to hear my mom screaming for help . So I ran to my parents room and saw my step dad standing over my mom and she was on the ground. She was just trying to sleep and he was hitting her she was even worried about him that he got in a car accident because he got home so late .I started to scream at him and tell him on no world do u ever hit someone like that . My mom was scared she feared for her life i could tell. He also threw her phone across the room broke her glasses and new earings she has a bump next to her eye now too .He came at me and put his hands around my neck but he didn't continue because I started to kick him in his gut. He was also cursing at us . I yelled at him more and he slapped me and pulled my hair. My mom was trying to tell him to stop and when he did my mom made him call his parents and they talked to him for a long time because we told them what happened . This was not like him although I've never been a big fan of my step father this was absurd, I never thought he was capable of this he was drunk and we don't know what happened to him. My mom was beat for 7 years by my biological father and my step dad knew that. My mom can't take this kind of stress she has 4 kids me, my two sister that are 2 and 3 and my brother who is 1 I am 14. Sometimes I get worried that if they ever seperate or something my mom wouldn't be able to support us she's a stay at home mom and she doesn't work. I'm also worried because I am leaving the 6th to visit my grandmother in a different state and I'm worried that he'll do something like that again and my mom won't be able to have any help. I don't know if I should stay or go.we hope that today he'll be ok and actually talk to us about what happened but I will never see him as the same person he will never be my father .

  • #2
    Hi,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have experienced a really difficult and frightening situation. We’re so sorry to hear that you went through that and now have to feel worried for yourself and your family’s safety. It takes courage to reach out and it shows that you must really care for your family.

    Know that it is not okay for him to physically and emotionally abuse you or your mom. If you would like to get support for your family, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is there to support you at 1-800-799-7233. We want you all to be safe now and to have a plan to stay safe. You mentioned that his parents know now and have tried helping. Are there any other trusted adults you know that can help you through this? Having an escape/safety plan for the future can keep your family from getting hurt. This involves planning where you all can stay safe from him, and being ready to call 911 or another source to help you immediately. Calling that hotline will help you think of ways for your family and yourself stay safe during times that your father is violent.

    It sounds like you are afraid that your mom wouldn’t be able to support you if the separated. Sometimes there are grants that women and single mothers leaving an abusive situation can get. If that sounds like something that could help, the link is: https://nnedv.org/about-us/what-we-do/. Also, there are counseling resources that could help heal families after tough situations. If you would like other resources or to talk through what’s going on and how you’re feeling, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. Please don’t hesitate to reach out!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      This just happened. My parents got drunk and my stepfather dragged her from her hair from the elevator and choked her. He was the only man I ever trusted. He was the sweetest, kindest, most loving man I knew. It's been a little over ten years since they met, and six years ago my baby brother was born, since then he started to change but mom justified that it was stress. Yet, I was his only target. If he was ever angry, he'd just yell at me, but he loved my mom too much. He's been crying for hours that he doesn't recognise himself and that he's become a monster. He keeps saying he's scared of what he might do, because he's always heard once you abuse your wife once, it's bound to happened again. My brother is 6 and my sister is 4. All of my friends have parents who always talk of divorcing, and I know how it affects them. I have no idea what to do. I can't let my siblings live with separated parents, but what if it happens again. Me, my mom, and stepdad are really scared and we don't know what to do. We're from a country where domestic violence is either completely ignored or taken too seriously, and the government is no help. We're screwed without my stepfather.

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry you are experiencing this. It must have been really scary to witness your father abuse your mother. You are very strong and brave, as well as empathetic and thoughtful to be able to be mindful of your father and concerned for your family. We would want you all to be safe and if something like this were to occur again, it may be beneficial to contact your local authorities. Should the abuse continue to happen, it may be beneficial to consider reporting it to authorities who can intervene. If you would like more information about what that may look like should you ever need to consider doing so, the National Domestic Violence Helpline may be a beneficial resource. They can be reached by phone at 1800-799-7233 of you can visit their website, which is thehotline.org. We know it might be scary to think of what that outcome may be but your safety is most important. It is understandable to fear the thought of being without your step-father. It seems like he is going through a very difficult time. It may be beneficial for your step-father to consider speaking to someone who can assist him. NAMI may be a helpful resource to outreach about therapy, maybe even family therapy. There are a number of trained professionals who could assist you and your family during this time. NAMI can be reached by phone at 1800-950-NAMI (6264) or you could also visit their site which is www.nami.org. We are also here to support should you need some assistance contacting these agencies. As always, we are here to help. Please, do not hesitate to give us a call at any time by calling our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runaway.org.

    • #4
      I'm a f 15 and my step dad hits me with a belt
      he says it's to educate me but sometimes he is just mad he hits me even if it's his son's fault my mom doesn't care she is always saying hit her and also students make fun of the clothes he makes me wear in school. I wished I was never alive

      He makes me wear loose baggy pants and long skirts if I say no he leaves me Bruce's with the belt
      Last edited by ccsmod11; 04-28-2019, 01:01 AM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to be hurt in any way.

        When any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like reporting is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453) is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

        It sounds like you are fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

        This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We are here as support to help you in whatever way we can. Please do not hesitate to reach out by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting with us via www.1800RUNAWAY.org as we can best help by phone or chat. We hope to hear from you soon.
        Last edited by ccsmod11; 04-28-2019, 01:11 AM.

    • #5
      Hi, I know this was a while back but I still want to reply! I know what you’re going through my stepdad did the same thing multiple times but sober. Anyway talk to your whole family about it. Also, I believe there is a medicine thing that helps with alcohol abuse. Another thing is get the whole family involved in activities. This can help with abuse trust me. I hope this helps you!

      Comment


      • #6
        Reply: Hi, I know this was a while back


        Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.

        Thank you,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #7
          im dealing with practically the same thing... my stepdad has made me call the police so many times and my mom to the hospital so many times. and i cant stay anywhere else because the only alive family dont live close and my dad wants me to end my life i dont know what to do im living with two alcholics and ones a drug adict i just want me and my brother to be safe.

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.

            Sounds like you are are going through a whole lot at home yourself with your family and substance abuse at home. Here at NRS, we are primarily concerned about your safety and truly want to help. Depending on details of your situation, there might be a few possible options for you, such as reporting the neglect to child protective services, or staying with a family member. You also mentioned that your dad wants you to end your life. That seems incredibly hurtful, and it's never okay to say that to someone. Your life has infinite worth and you do deserve to make it through this and get the help you need and deserve. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org. We are here for you.


            Thank you,

            NRS
            Last edited by ccsmod7; 05-09-2019, 12:33 PM.

        • #8
          Hi I'm ten and my step dad well I don't like calling him dada so I don't at all ,and also he hits my little brother to hard on his back he gave my mom a black eye once and some other things I don't really want to go back to remember.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,
            Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Wow it sounds like you are going through a really difficult time. It sounds like you may not be in a safe environment.
            What you described with your brother could be physical abuse, which is never okay. If you would like to make an abuse report please contact The Child Help Hotline at: 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making an abuse report can be scary if you would like our help you can contact us at any time.
            Your step dad should also not be giving your mother a black eye. That is considered domestic violence. You can contact the domestic violence hotline at: 1800-799-7233. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger please call 911, and an officer will be able to help you. You may also consider talking to a trusted adult or a school counselor about what is going on at home.
            We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
            NRS

        • #9
          My step dad and mom are constantly fighting and im afraid of what happens beyond close doors where i can only hear whats happening.But the problem is hes a very trusted man in the city and one of the best police officers so i dont kniw if i would to report him, would they even believe me?

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            We're sorry to hear your parents are fighting. It sounds like you're scared about what's going on and aren't exactly sure what to do. While we can't ever tell anyone what they should do, we can help you brainstorm some ideas to help you figure out for yourself what might work in your circumstances. Some ideas might be to talk to your mom or dad about how you feel. Approaching them when the situation is calm and they are in a good mood might be a good idea. If you're uncomfortable with directly talking to them, you could write them a letter explaining your fears and concerns. Of course, many find writing itself to be a healing process. Understandably, this situation has greatly affected you and, no matter what the outcome is, journaling your thoughts and feelings might be something to consider.

            If you feel the fights include things like abuse or domestic violence, you could file a report detailing what's happening, particularly how it is affecting you. The more details you include, the more likely you would be believed. But this is really your decision and we understand it's a sensitive topic.

            If you'd like to talk more about this, we are here for you 24/7. We are confidential and never judge. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat with us online via our website: www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon!

            Take care,
            NRS

        • #10
          I experience something very similar in my household, my stepdad is an alcoholic and forces my mom to drink. If she won’t he mentally abuses her and try’s to make her feel like she is nothing. When he gets her drunk he will just argue with her and try to make it seem like everything is her fault when she didn’t even start the argument. He also try’s and tel her that she is a worthless human being and it’s really hard to hear this because I already know about her depression. One time this lead to her trying to hang herself for him and one of his body’s to find her while she was hanging there just in time. My walls are completely hollow so I hear every word they say when they argue and I overheard my mom talking about how hit her and gave her a black eye. When I had asked my mom about it she said something like she slipped or walked into something I don’t fully recall what she said. But I am afraid of the situation getting worse considering he has already hit her once in the past and has attempted to commit suicide in the past. If you can please help me.

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            We're sorry you're going through this. We understand it must be hard to watch your mom go through those things. If you feel like you or your mother are in danger, you can call the police. There also a National Domestic Violence Hotline, you or your mother could call, and their number is 1-800-799-7233. You mentioned your mom has tried to commit suicide. You could give her the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and their number is 1-800-273-8255. You are extremely strong and brave. You are not alone. You can reach us any time because we are here 24/7.

            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            Stay safe,
            NRS

        • #11
          He wants to kill my mon

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there,

            Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are stressful and scary at your home, witnessing your stepdad’s abusive and threatening behavior toward your mother. You do not deserve to live in a threatening environment. It takes courage to reach out of help and we are here to assist and support you.

            It is concerning that your stepdad abuses your mother and you mentioned you fear he may threaten her life. If you or anyone in your home feels unsafe or threatened, we encourage you to call 911 for emergency services. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is another resource available to you at (800) 799-7233 or www.thehotline.org. We here at NRS are available to help you through this challenging time by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting with us at www.1800runaway.org by clicking on the chat button.

            Thank you again for reaching out to NRS, and we hope to hear from you. Stay strong and know that you are not alone.

            Stay safe,

            NRS

        • #12
          My step dad beats my mom always and wounds her she also put frights in her

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,
            Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Wow we are sorry your mother is going through that and you have to witness that. Your safety and your mom’s safety is the top concern. One option to consider would be to contact 911 and let them know what is going on. You can also contact The National Domestic Hotline at 1800-799-7233.
            We hope this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or need to talk we are here for you. Best of luck!
            NRS

        • #13
          Hello, my names cassi im 12 years old...ive been dealing with stuff since i was 7 my step fathers been hitting my mom since i was 8 or 9? i found out that he was my stepfather at 11 due to both of my parents having gotten into a fight about something stupid and my mom told me out of anger...but my stepfather doesn't know my mom told me and i didn't think a stepfather would treat his daughter badly when he knows hes not my biological father...ive told my mother but she doesn't do anything....i cant even tell family members because they think that i dont know about my real father...my step father has pulled my hair, slapped me, and has done other unpleasant stuff...hes pushed my mother down the stairs when i was only 8...my moms tryed to leave but keeps coming back to him as you can see im in a difficult situation and i cant even tell anyone...yes theyre has been laughs along the way but i have to tell someone....

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS
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