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I'm 14 and have lived with my dad all my life I hate it and want to move in with mom

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  • I'm 14 and have lived with my dad all my life I hate it and want to move in with mom

    Excuse the poor grammar and the cursing. This was on a rant to a trusted friend about what to do. For context: I live with my dad and my stepmom (Christa) during the school year and I can't handle it anymore.

    okay so like my dad and christa are like mega strict. i got my phone taken away for two years because i made an instagram account after they told me not to, so i havent had a phone since september. and even then, when i had it it wasn't allowed in my room, couldnt take it out of the house without asking, and i didnt have safari or the app store. theyre both super strict for literally no reason. im a good kid i dont talk back at all (because i will get slapped, and im also terrified of them so no problems there) i literally play xbox and read books. and then im in clubs and all that but like i dont do anything. the worst thing ive probably ever done is sneak and ipod and lie about it (we're getting there) and so I have been dealing with this kinda ******** for the last 9 years, bc christa is a ********ter smh and shes been dating my dad since i was like 5 and yeah. so when i was with mom i was like 'im buying an ipod and hiding it bc i cant deal with them anymore ecksdee' and she was like 'ok' so i bought that and had it for like a solid 3 months before they saw it on the wifi network and LOST THEIR ********. i didnt give it to them and they ********ing searched my room and patted me down and literally went through the entire house, and eventually i did give it up after ********ing threats and then they started like guilting me and christa was like 'im nothing but nice to you why are you so terrible to me' firstly, she has her own two kids and she literally treats me like ********. like if it doesnt concern her kids it isnt important.
    (so, essentially, if its about me its irrelevent) and she literally only tells me about how im an iconvienience and how im irresponsible and like 'o ur so bad i was never this bad' and all this ********. but like theyre really ********ing emotionally abusive and i have rlly bad anxiety and i just literally cant take it. its at the point where like im scared to come home because i dont want to get either hit or yelled at because i know everything i do nothing is good enough. like i cant bring home a report card with less than a 95 or im grounded. like if i make an A- i'm actually dead. and ive had this pressure for the last 8 years and i cant do it, im so sick of it and it sounds bad but i literally just hate it. so i talked to my mom because she knows how bad it is and she said i could try a semester there and if i still needed to leave then i could move up to chicago with her.

    So essentially I'm just scared to talk to them about leaving. I don't know how they'll react, or what'll happen. I go back July 11th. I'm just so tired of it, they think they're being good parents but its not. I come home every day wanting to die, and the only reason I'm still here is because of my friends and mom. I can't stand living there for the next four years, I've already done it for 9. I read that in the courts (In my state at least, and if it even goes this far) that the child's opinion is taken into account once they are of age (I am) But as much as I absolutely hate living with them and how just emotionally manipulative they are I'm still going to feel bad for leaving. Like I'm doing something wrong and abandoning them and it feels really selfish but I dont think I can take it anymore. My mental health is honestly declining because of them, I think thats how most of my mental issues came about. Things like anxiety, depression, anorexia, all from their little comments and just constant yelling. I just live I fear and I've done it for 9 years and can't keep doing it.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going at your dad’s. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. It sounds like you have had things said to you that were really hurtful, things that were quite invading of your space, and a lot of pressure to uphold grades. We are sorry you are experiencing this. You do have the right to report the emotional abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can either do it yourself or call into us directly and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.
    Also another way you can seek help is reaching out to a friend, teacher, or counselor at school that can help you look for resources. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at or call them directly at 1-877-726-4727 to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)
    It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs of to your parents.
    We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.
    We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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