I want to run away

[Guest]

I am a 17 year old girl and I have been thinking about running away for a while. I live with my parents, who are divorced but still live together because they think it is easier to help take care of the kids that way. I have 3 other siblings with whom I am kind of close with. I'll start off with my dad. He's been abusive since we were little and I have accepted it because we are Asian and it is not uncommon in Asian households, but at one point it got so unbearable that my sister called the cops on him so he does not abuse us anymore. Now, he resorts to yelling. Since my freshman year, I have been writing for the school newspaper resulting in me staying late at school. Apparently he has never noticed I write for the newspaper and suspects that I stay late at school to do cocaine. My mom, as much as I love her, is toxic. My sister has been the person I look up to since I was a child and she was basically a parent to me because my parents are always working. However, schoolwise she did not do so well. Even though she went to college and graduated, her life is not really going anywhere. Again, from my freshman year, my mother has been constantly complaining about my sister and how I should not be like her. I am tired of this place that does not feel like home. I know they probably love me, but I do not want to stay here. I want to finish my last year of high school in peace. I do not wish to come home from a long day of school having a pile of schoolwork to do but instead be scolded for not doing chores when I just stepped foot into the house. My dad makes me feel worthless. He tells me I should do chores before I do my homework and even if it means I do not do my homework I need to clean the house. He always says I do nothing... My grandparents complain about my dad a lot, in the car, at restaurants, everywhere. I do not like my personal problems being discussed in public where people look at my family because my family members and yelling and complaining about my father. I need somewhere to run away to. I still need to finish high school. Please, I'm sorry if I sound whiny, I just can't deal with it anymore.

[ccsmod10]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that things are so challenging for you at home. It sounds like you don’t feel you get a lot of support from your parents and you’re considering leaving home, but you’re wondering where you can go. We can certainly go over options that might be available with you. Please know that you can feel free to give us a call or send us a chat if you’ve got questions or need more information.

Before we go over options on where to go, we would like you to know that it is never ok for anyone to be abusive towards you, and we are so very sorry that you and your siblings have had to go through that. If you feel unsafe at home, you have right to report what’s going on to your local child protective services. If you don’t know how to contact your state’s child protective services, organizations like Child Help, available at 1.800.422.4453, as well as at www.childhelp.org , can help you out. If you have questions about making an abuse report, or even if you just want someone to talk to, we’re here for you as well. Like Child Help, we are here to support you, and we’ll do our best to help you explore your options.

If you’ve decided that leaving home is the next step for you, you have a few options. While we’re not legal experts, from what we understand, although running away isn’t illegal, it is considered a status offense in some states. If you are considered a minor and you leave without your parents’ consent, they have the option of reporting you as a runaway with your local police department. If they report you, and the police locate you, they typically return you home to your legal guardian. With that said, it’s completely up to you if you feel that leaving is best. Places where you might stay can include staying with a friend or relative, or looking into emergency shelters or transitional housing. Emergency shelters are more short-term, and there are typically limits to the amount of time you can stay there. Transitional housing tends to be more stable, so you would typically have more stable housing. Sometimes there are conditions to staying there, like keeping up with school or possibly looking for work. With either of these options, there is a possibility that they would need consent of a parent or legal guardian if you’re considered a minor.

It’s definitely a tough decision to make, and we hope that what we’ve shared has been helpful. You’re in a really tough situation at home, and it sounds like you’ve done your best to keep up with school despite the obstacles you face at home with your family. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you want to talk. We can’t tell you what to do, but we can do our best to help you stay as safe as possible with whatever you decide. You can reach us 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929), everyday via chat from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS