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I'm 16 years old, 17 soon and I can't stay at home anymore. I live with my mom, brother and two sisters and I never felt loved by any of them.
My dad beats me and for that reason I didn't see him since I was 10, I thought I'm happy with my mom, but it turned bad quickly, she yells, swears at me and beats me as well, not as much as my dad did, but it happens many times.
She, my brother and my sisters have told me to kill myself, they told me to jump off of a building, die, live in the streets and die and such.
They always side with my mom too, and when she beats me they follow us and laugh or try to annoy me.
I also don't have a room and I feel like I have no privacy. Our house is very small and messy and it's very hard to do anything in it, I couldn't find anywhere to sit and practice digital art, which is a hobby of mine (bought the tablet and laptop with my own money), or even study comfortably.
This year my grandparents decided to help my mom and let me live with them so she will have one less kid to worry about, I was very happy, my grades got very good and I never missed school, I also felt healthier both physically and mentally. When I was home, I felt depressed and anxious, last year it was really bad and I even stopped going to school for awhile, since I gave up on everything.
Problem is, I can't stay here. My grandma says she is old and she already did hers with 4 kids of her own, and she doesn't want to take care of another one.
She said she doesn't want me here and was only trying to help my mother while she is working. I can only be here when my mom is working, and she doesn't work much, next month, around my birthday, she gets 3 months off.
I can't count on staying here, and i'm not sure I want to after hearing my grandma, she sounded just like my mom, she always says no one wants me including her.
My question is, where can I go? I want to work in the summer but the money I'll get in 2 months will never be enough to go anywhere, and since the next school year is very important to me, i'm not sure if I could keep working, but i'd try, if I had to to, that if I even get a job, I can work well but i'm very quiet and it might lower my chances of getting a job.
I'm too scared to do something big, like find another family, I guess. I'm even scared to tell anyone in case it hurts my brother and sisters, they rarely get the same treatment from my mother, and since they are young some other things don't bother them, and I don't want them to be taken as well.
I just don't know what to do, are there any places I could go to? I thought about trying a boarding school, but i'm not sure I could afford it, or even get into one. I'm also living in a pretty poor area and i'm not sure if boarding schools here are what I need. If I found a good one, I could maybe get my family to pay since it's better than having me around them, it seems.
Either way, any other ideas?
I appreciate your help very much. Thank you.
My dad beats me and for that reason I didn't see him since I was 10, I thought I'm happy with my mom, but it turned bad quickly, she yells, swears at me and beats me as well, not as much as my dad did, but it happens many times.
She, my brother and my sisters have told me to kill myself, they told me to jump off of a building, die, live in the streets and die and such.
They always side with my mom too, and when she beats me they follow us and laugh or try to annoy me.
I also don't have a room and I feel like I have no privacy. Our house is very small and messy and it's very hard to do anything in it, I couldn't find anywhere to sit and practice digital art, which is a hobby of mine (bought the tablet and laptop with my own money), or even study comfortably.
This year my grandparents decided to help my mom and let me live with them so she will have one less kid to worry about, I was very happy, my grades got very good and I never missed school, I also felt healthier both physically and mentally. When I was home, I felt depressed and anxious, last year it was really bad and I even stopped going to school for awhile, since I gave up on everything.
Problem is, I can't stay here. My grandma says she is old and she already did hers with 4 kids of her own, and she doesn't want to take care of another one.
She said she doesn't want me here and was only trying to help my mother while she is working. I can only be here when my mom is working, and she doesn't work much, next month, around my birthday, she gets 3 months off.
I can't count on staying here, and i'm not sure I want to after hearing my grandma, she sounded just like my mom, she always says no one wants me including her.
My question is, where can I go? I want to work in the summer but the money I'll get in 2 months will never be enough to go anywhere, and since the next school year is very important to me, i'm not sure if I could keep working, but i'd try, if I had to to, that if I even get a job, I can work well but i'm very quiet and it might lower my chances of getting a job.
I'm too scared to do something big, like find another family, I guess. I'm even scared to tell anyone in case it hurts my brother and sisters, they rarely get the same treatment from my mother, and since they are young some other things don't bother them, and I don't want them to be taken as well.
I just don't know what to do, are there any places I could go to? I thought about trying a boarding school, but i'm not sure I could afford it, or even get into one. I'm also living in a pretty poor area and i'm not sure if boarding schools here are what I need. If I found a good one, I could maybe get my family to pay since it's better than having me around them, it seems.
Either way, any other ideas?
I appreciate your help very much. Thank you.
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