HELP!? Legal/family issues

[Guest]

Hi,
I’ll be 15 in September, I can’t drive, and I’m too scared to cut because I know that if my parents found out they’d kill me, my parents are both emotionally and somewhat physically abusive,and I’m from Croswell Michigan. Ever since i was little, my punishments would always be extreme. When i was 10 my mom beat me so much my butt turned black and i couldn’t sit down for a week all because I was ten minutes late to come home. Once before my dad used to push my mom up again walls in the house, and he even slapped me in the face. Recently for the past week, my dad has been screaming and yelling at me and walking me into corners. He has also been calling me names such as a stupid little whore and saying rude remarks like my feelings dont matter. Once before i said i was going to kill myself, so my mom gave me a knife and said do it. While all this is going on, my dad wasn’t doing a thing. I dont know what to do, my friend tells me not to cut and to stay strong but I feel like I’ve been mistreated and I’ve been crying since i was about 7 and i don't want to deal with this anymore. I’m scared to fight back and i need help but i want to complete school. I still need to finish high school. I dont know if i can take it another 4 years. Its getting to the point where I'm being mistreated on a weekly, almost daily basis. I need help, i need someone to hep me. I dont want to run away and be charged or get caught and I don’t know what they would do if I came back. I wouldn't say my dad has ever physically abused me, but he does hit me from time to time, or get in my face yelling at me, cursing at me and calling me dumb and stupid. Recently I’ve starting doing things I shouldn’t have done and my parents found out and are saying that they’re “disappointed in me” and that they “can’t believe we raised an ugly, worthless, lazy, little whore.” The reason I’ve done these things is because I feel like no one at home cares. I’ve started planning different ways to commit suicide and to be honest I’ve tried to OD but I was too scared to follow through so instead I made up a fake excuse to live and I’ve done this for about two years now. I have called the cops on both of my parents but all that happened was they removed me from my house for a weekend but when I came back my mother started yelling at me and saying that it was all my fault and there was no reason to get the cops involved I was just being a “pussy” (she was throwing breakable things in my room and she dragged me down the stairs which left marks) and she was only trying to “discipline” me. I’ve tried to tell my mom that she’s the reason that I’m suicidal but her sarcastic response was “oh no do we need to take everything sharp away from you and make you have velcro shoes so you can’t hang yourself with your laces? Now stfu and do your damn work.” My mom’s dad committed suicide before she was born and my mom tried many years ago and I’m pretty sure she has some kind of mental disorder and she for sure has been diagnosed with depression but she doesn’t take any meds for it. My dad used to be a really bad alcoholic but he’s been dry for a couple years but he has anger issues and ptsd so he’s not easy to go to so I’m pretty much on my own and need some HELP. I have a couple places that could take me in for a little bit but if I leave I wouldn’t be able to EVER go back. So this ended up being pretty long but I just need some advice on where I can go or what I can do. Please help they’ve taken away everything so I can’t call or contact anyone for help. I’m currently typing this from a school iPad that I’m about to loose in three days. I need advice.....I need help........thank you.....

[ccsmod0]

Thank you so much for reaching out to us at NRS. It sounds like you have been in a dangerous and difficult situation at home for such a long time and are looking for a way out. First of all, please know that how your parents have been treating you is wrong, it is not your fault, and there is nothing you could have done to justify or deserve their abuse.
Child Help, a 24/7 hotline like us specifically dedicated to child abuse, defines abuse as “when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation and emotional abuse.” Although you have described incidents of physical abuse (dragging you down stairs, beating you, throwing things at you, etc.) please also know that abuse can be emotional as well, and your parents’ cruel insults, threats, name-calling and lack of concern for your mental and physical health all fall under that category.
You always have the right to report this abuse to the authorities. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource that can walk you through the reporting process and what some possible outcomes might be. You can also tell a teacher, nurse or guidance counselor at your school (the law requires them to report any abuse), or contact the social services agency in your state. You can give us at NRS a call (1-800-786-2929) any time and we also help talk you through some options or take an abuse report. If you ever feel like your safety is in danger or your suicidal thoughts get stronger or more serious, please call 911.
If you decide to leave before making an abuse report, one place you could go is a youth shelter in your area. As part of their intake process, many of these shelters will make an abuse report for you. If you call NRS, we are happy to help connect you with youth shelters in your area or talk through some options.
It takes a lot of strength to live through what you’ve been living through, and reaching out for help shows how courageous you are. You are not alone, and you have options.
Stay strong, NRS