Leaving home at 17 in Indiana

[Toxicbombher]

I'm sorry in advance because this post is going to be pretty long I think.
So, I'm 17 years old and I have 247 more days until I turn 18. I know for a fact I can't make it that much longer. I live with my mom, things are a mess between us. She's bipolar and refuses to go on medication for it. She has horrible anger issues. For as long as I can remember things would be okay and then one little thing ( one unclean dish, a small spill, a joke ) would set her off and she'd be screaming at me/my brother/my little sisters. I have depression and anxiety. My mom forced me to grow up and act like an adult when I was 5-ish due to my little sisters being born. My moms always forced me to be more mature ( until recently where I've been trying to grow up and now she treats me live I'm 12 ) They're twins and my mom was still working full time so I had to take care of them and my older brother. My older brother wasn't good with my sisters so I had to do the cooking, cleaning, and take care of them as well as myself. I've been cutting myself on and off since I was 10. My mom found out when I was 12 and threatened to send me to " a ********ing crazy hospital " so I just started hiding them better. I was raped at 14 by an acquaintance of my moms, she barely even knew the guy, but let him move in with us for a few months. He got to live in my room while I slept in the living room. He raped me for 3 months while he lived there. My mom found out when I was 15, she said it was all my fault and that I was a slut who let it happen. She forced me into therapy when I didn't want to go, and when she found out the therapy was finally helping me, he forced me to quit going because it was " too much work " for her to take me. My mom is the type of person where everything has to be about her, so when these things were happening she's make it about her. She'd go to her friends and cry " she's hurting herself and I don't know what to do or what I did wrong " " my little girl was raped and she didn't even trust me enough to tell me " " taking her to therapy is just so hard with my work schedule " and they'd give her so much attention and she loved it. She's told me to kill myself, to go cut myself, that I'm worthless. I do everything around the apartment. I know that sounds dramatic but it's true. My brother moved out this year since he's 19. I was working full time but am now part time. I still baby sit my little sisters every day, do dishes, clean up after my sisters, my mom, and her boyfriend. I take care of the pets even though they're not mine. If my mom or her boyfriend make a mess I'm expected to clean it right away and if I don't I get yelled at. My mom lets her boyfriend treat me horribly. They'll team up on me and yell at me telling me I'm useless and worthless and lazy. I just can't do it anymore, I can't take it. I have two places I could go. My best friend and I plan to get an apartment together but since my mom took all the money I had saved up my best friends family said they would gladly take me in and let me live with them for as long as I needed until my best friend and I could move out. I also have my boyfriends family. My boyfriend is in the army but his mom has taken a lot of foster kids and stuff like that and she said I can move in with her for as long as I want, even if my boyfriend and I broke up, she said she'd help me no matter what because she cares for me. I'm hoping to get my mom to kick me out or say I can move out but I doubt that will happen, but I'm planning on leaving anyways. Can my bet friends family or my boyfriends family get in trouble? I'm just so tired of feeling empty and worthless all the time, I have to get out of here.

[ccsmod11]

re: Leaving home at 17 in Indiana

Hello

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline and sharing your story with us. We are very sorry to hear you have dealt with traumatic events in your life. It is not ok that you were raped, no one deserves to have to go through something like that. Your mother had no right to blame you for what happened to you. She also shouldn’t have forced you into therapy if you did not want to go. She has no right to verbally and mentally abuse you and you deserve better than that.

It must have been difficult being young and having to take care of your brothers and sisters at the same time. It can’t be easy having to take care of all the household chores and your siblings while worrying about work and school. It also must have been extremely stressful to deal with all of that while also dealing with how to handle it all. It is understandable that you turned to cutting to cope with how you are feeling and what you are going through.

You mentioned that you do have supportive families who are willing to take you in and help you out. It is great you have people looking out for your well-being and who care about you. You specifically asked if any of them could get in trouble for taking you in if you decide to run away. We will try to address these issues as best as possible and hopefully answer your question.

You mentioned that it will be unlikely that your mother will kick you out or give you permission to live somewhere else. Since you are under the age of 18, your mother has the right to do whatever she can to bring you back home if you leave home without her permission. This means that if you do runaway, she could file a runaway or missing person’s report to the police. If she knows where you are, she could have the police bring you back home. If you run away and stay with someone who is 18 yrs old or older, your mother could file charges against them for harboring a runaway.

Sometimes when a youth is 17 years old and is close to turning 18, the police are less active in finding the youth and returning them home. This all depends on the police department in the county you live in and we cannot guarantee what they most definitely will or will not do if you did runaway. A good thing to try is to call your local police department and ask them general questions about when a youth runs away and how the police will respond. They might be able to give you more clear answers on that.

We recommend that you give us a call so we can talk to you more about what is going on in your life. We are a 24/7 confidential hotline and we would love to provide you support and help you think of a way to handle what you are going through. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you are uncomfortable talking on the phone you can also reach us through online chat at www.1800runaway.org. Our chat services are available all week from 4:30 p.m. to 11:30 pm central time.

We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

NRS

[Toxicbombher]

Thank you for the response, I don't mind phone calls but I have a pretty bad fear of cops due to some stuff that happened when I was younger.. it may be a dumb question but could you guys ask how the police here would respond to a youth runaway? I live in Noblesville, Indiana..

[ccsmod5]

re:

Hey again,

It’s great that you want to utilize that service. We are more than willing to call for you, although in order for us to provide that service, we would need you to call in and then we would make an outgoing call to the police. We would keep you on a separate line, but would need the call to be youth initiated. We are here 24/7 and would be more than happy to make that call for you. We wish you the best of luck and hope to get your call or chat soon.

Stay strong,

NRS