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  • running away to a safer life

    Hi,

    I'm 15, and I know running away as a minor is illegal in my state, but currently I don't see many other options. My mom is incredibly judgemental towards my depression and anxiety, as well as transphobic with my gender dysphoria. Living here is very isolating, since I am the oldest. My dad passed away almost two years ago, and my siblings never talk to me. My sister just turned 13, and she's a straight up bully to anyone and everyone, including me. My brother is 9 and has some serious learning disabilities.My mom has a boyfriend who is constantly around and it's overwhelming, he's alright though. That's just my home life.

    At school I have friends, sure, but those who know about my gender aren't exactly supportive. Those who don't aren't very good friends, either. My grades are decent, and as far as education goes I take AP classes mostly. I also write poetry and might get published soon.

    Around a month and a half ago I was finally able to leave an uncomfortable relationship (he wasn't letting me break up with him). He didn't know about my gender identity, but given that we had some intimate moments I wanted to keep it that way. He stalked me for about a week straight after that. Then I got with my current boyfriend that had offered to step in, who is very supportive and is actually the one with the connection to the people providing me with a place to stay.

    The thing is, my body is a weird place. It bleeds monthly and is able to give birth. And, recently, it hasn't bled. We're talking a 16 day late period. They're never irregular. I've felt nauseous and had a lot of heartburn. If my mom were to ever find out she'd kick me out immediately anyway. She's Catholic, and to this day still guilts me about how I was sexually assaulted at 12.

    I know my plans, I have a lot of hard-earned cash, and I will get my writing published. I stopped self-harming a few weeks ago. There's nothing left for me in this house but pain and guilt. The only question is whether to run away before or after going out of state for vacation. For one, I have enough empathy for my family to understand it would be hard if I left right before and they had to go without me. On the other hand, we're going for a month, and it's risky. I wouldn't be able to go back until after said month.

    I just want thoughts on this. Thanks.

  • #2
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    Since you mentioned that you have not had your period in 16 days, it could be a good idea to take a pregnancy test. So that you know all of your options before life takes them away from you. Planned Parenthood 1-800-230-7526 is a good resources that can help you locate clinics in your area that could help you with services.
    It sounds like you are having a hard time at home trying to get your family to accept you for who you are. We want you to know that there is tons of support out there for you and if you ever need to talk to someone more specifically about Trans issues feel free to give Trans Lifeline a call 1-877-565-8860. Their hotline is staffed by the true experts on transgender experience, transgender people themselves. You are special and deserve to be valued. Congratulations about your self-harm recovery but we here at NRS cannot tell you when would be a good time for you to leave. We are non-directive, this means that we are here to try to provide you with support and resources so that if you do decide to leave home, you are doing it intelligently and safely. So if running away is something that you really want to do then you are more than welcome to give us a call and we can talk about all of your options and help you come up with a safety plan. 1-800-786-2626
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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