i going insane.

[Unregistered]

Im cristie im 12 years old. I cut i tried to commit suicide 3 Times. I stopped taking my meds they dont help.when my mom found out i cut she looked at me with what seemed like disgust. Shouldnt she have tried to comfort me? She said she would get me a therepist 2 Times. She hasnt gotten me one yet. Im tired of being a coward and living in a life were no one can see my pian. They say my life is good and im being selfish. But they dont see that im going insane. I force myzelf to throwup so that i can stay home from school. Im all packed.im going to run away but im afraid to get caught. Can a 12 year old run away from home succesfullyq. People say i look way older than i am. I could use that to my advantage. I was thinking of going to canada. I dont know. Im tired of life. I am insane. I constantly have thoughts of murder. I dont want to hurt anyone physically or emotionally. But i need to run. Where do i go?

[ccsmod7]

Re: i going insane.

Hello Cristie,

Thank you for reaching out to us for help here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things aren’t going well for you at home or at school. We are sorry to hear that you are in so much distress.

It sounds like you would really benefit from some support, but your mom doesn’t seem to be reacting in a very supportive way. It must be so difficult going through these feelings of insanity, shame, and pain without anyone to talk to about it. It’s great that you are open to seeing a therapist. Is there anything you can do that would speed up that process? Are there school counselors or a social worker at your school? Maybe you can let them know that you really want a therapist, but your mom isn’t reacting fast enough. Maybe they can give you and your mom a list of therapists that you can reach out to, or provide some short term therapy themselves until you find someone more permanent.

You said in your post that you want to run away. We are not here to tell you whether you should leave or stay at home, but if you are thinking about leaving there’s a lot to keep in mind. Do you have anywhere safe you can stay? Do you have a friend or relative that would let you stay with them? How would you get there? How will you pay for things? Just some things to consider. We would love to talk you through your options in more detail and we can also look up youth shelters or counseling centers in your area.

It’s also good to keep in mind how your mother might react to you leaving home. Do you think she would file a runaway report with the police? We are not legal experts here, but in most states, your mom could file a runaway report and if she does, the police could take you back home.

You also mentioned that you struggle with cutting and attempts of suicide. You might find helpful the National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255. They are open 24/7. You are also welcome to reach out to us through phone or through our online chat. We are also here 24/7. We hope this information is helpful to you.

Best,
NRS