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I'm 19 and wanting to run away is that selfish?

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  • I'm 19 and wanting to run away is that selfish?

    I am 19 years old and feeling like i should really leave home now. My mother is always controling and gives me the guilt trip, i am not aloud to leave the house unless i am with her, she always bosses me around, i don't have any friends cause i was homeschooled. Everyone left my mom all my two brothers and two sisters already left home years ago even my dad left my mom. There is a teen shelter i can stay for a while. I always have to stay home while she works. I don't feel like i am getting anywhere with my life. I have this urge of leaving but afraid that it would hurt her. But when i mention to her that i want to leave she tells me to go, to call my dad or one of my siblings. I want to stay at a teen shelter. I'm at home so much that i have social anxiety and so afaird to walk outside alone, i don't even know how cross the street by myself. Should i leave, what should i do? i am so confused i have no one to talk to

  • #2
    Re: I'm 19 and wanting to run away is that selfish?

    Hello there,

    We are glad that you reached out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. Thank you for sharing your story. Your situation sounds really difficult. It must be really hard to feel trapped. It sounds like you don’t want to hurt your mom, but at the same time you have a desire to leave so that you can be more independent.

    We are not legal experts here, but in most states, once you are past the age of 18, you are no longer considered a runaway for leaving home. There are definitely a lot of things to think about when leaving home. Where you will stay, how you will get there, how you will pay for things, are all things to think about.

    It’s great that you are trying to find out what your options are and that you are looking into a teen shelter in your area. It’s also good that you have other family members that might be of some support. Do you think you would benefit from counseling resources for your social anxiety? If you decide to chat with us or call us, we would be happy to discuss with you your situation in more detail.

    Best of luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm 19 and feel as though I can't do anything right. I'm pregnant and better off out of everyone's lives. My mind is made up and I'm leaving with a little of my belongings and $5 in cash...its better if I'm not in anyone's life.

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        After reading your post we found that there are some similarities that you share with other users. We have attached a response that we have given to another user that we think might be useful for you as well. We care about you and want you to be safe. If you have any follow up questions please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
        Originally posted by ccsmod7 View Post
        Re: I'm 19 and wanting to run away is that selfish?
        Hello there,
        We are glad that you reached out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. Thank you for sharing your story. Your situation sounds really difficult. It must be really hard to feel trapped. It sounds like you don’t want to hurt your mom, but at the same time you have a desire to leave so that you can be more independent.
        We are not legal experts here, but in most states, once you are past the age of 18, you are no longer considered a runaway for leaving home. There are definitely a lot of things to think about when leaving home. Where you will stay, how you will get there, how you will pay for things, are all things to think about.
        It’s great that you are trying to find out what your options are and that you are looking into a teen shelter in your area. It’s also good that you have other family members that might be of some support. Do you think you would benefit from counseling resources for your social anxiety? If you decide to chat with us or call us, we would be happy to discuss with you your situation in more detail.

        Best of luck,
        NRS

    • #4
      I'm almost 19 in two days and I have a controlling family I live with my dad and my older brother.. two days ago me and my brother got in an argument and he choked me ad slapped me .. I wanna leave but Everytime I try to my brother finds me. I need a way out I can't stand the abuse and I'm scared to tell the cops but I'm scared my brother might hurt me more .. what do I do ?

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Since you are 19 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. Please feel free to contact us through phone at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at www.1800runaway.org
        Best Wishes NRS

    • #5
      Hey I am 21 and I don't want to leave here at home....as I don't want live at anybody's life or place because no one excatly wants me....I was pregnant then I had an abortion we had having 3 years relationship ...now just now I learned that he is ditching me ...I am feeling very much lonely and like a burden in everyone's life....as I already ditch my parents because of this fake guy who break my trust my heart ...made me pregnant and now abortion ...from that abortion many problems arising...so now I am physically and mostly mentally hurt...deep down and I don't want to live...though I have nothing with me

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    • #6
      I’m 19 and I plan on running away soon, my parents are swamped with payments for my tuition and bills on top of bills. I’m tired of burdening them and I want to leave, I haven’t much money or identification to get me anywhere out of America but I think any place that’s slightly permanent would be better than inconveniencing them at home, I don’t even make money so I don’t really see how I’m helping them in anyway.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you for reaching out to us, we are glad that you did. It sounds like things are stressful at home with financial obligations. As far as running away, in all but a few states, a person who’s 19 isn’t running away in the technical sense, so there are no legal ramifications involved. Leaving the country does involve getting a passport and to stay in another country, you’d at least need a visa, so you’d have to do some research.

        It sounds like you may want to talk to your parents about your plan. Maybe your future in college is something they are willing to sacrifice for. Maybe you can get a job while in school to help with the bills. It’s possible to feel like a burden when you’re not one in reality. We hope that you might contact us to discuss this further. We are here to listen and to help and we would really like to do that.

        You can reach us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway) or with live chat through our website, 1800runaway.org Either way, we would be able to talk together to help you discover your options.

        We hope this helps
        NRS
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