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I’ve had enough

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  • I’ve had enough

    On a daily basis my mom yells and yells for us to do everything for her (clean the bathrooms, walk the dog, do the dishes, vacuum, help her get dinner ready, get groceries, constantly have a clean room, etc.). And when my brothers and I fight back she tells us that we do nothing, we just sit around all day while she does everything. If a task does not get completed my mother yells louder and begins to threaten us with punishments. On rare occasions, if I talk back to her she follows through and will slap me or hit me. although it has become less frequent over the past couple of years. I have noticed that my mother will only hit me and not either of my brothers even if she threatens them she never follows through.
    Another thing my mom controls is my social life. As I have gone through middle school and now high school I have suffered from depression because I could never get friends. But over this last year I have begun to realize that it might not be my fault. My mother tells me bad things about my friends and makes me believe it until I have lost yet another friend in my life. One time I was friends with a girl even after she told me bad things about her and it upset her so badly that she wouldn’t allow me to hang out with her after school, she wouldn’t allow her over our house and I couldn’t go to her house. Recently my mom has made excuses as to why I can’t leave the house to be with my friends (your room isn’t clean, you have a bad attitude, going against what she wants). I got in a fight with her until I told her that Is hold leave regardless of what she thought her response was that if I left the house she would lock the door behind her and not let me back in.
    Also my mom tells me i’m not good enough. She says i’m too fat and that when I was her age she was much skinnier or when i try on clothes at the store she makes remarkes about how big I look. She says that i’m homely. Her constant reminders have caused me to lose all of my self confidence. As summer has been apporoaching I can’t bring myself to wear shorts because I see myself in such a way. Not only do I remind myself of this but my mom tells me too.
    I just don’t know what to do anymore. I try hard in school, i try to do what my mom asks of me, and I try to make friends. But I find it hard to live my life when my mom says I’m not good enough and my dad stand by and watches it happen. My mom has caused me to become depressed, lonely, self conscious, and left without anything. Any advice would be great.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS, we want to acknowledge the valiance it takes to ask for help in times of crisis. It sounds like your mom is acting more than unfair towards you right now. That is not ok and it is not your fault. We can only begin to understand all the emotions that you must be flowing through at the moment. Something that can be helpful is remembering to breathe. Breathing may not remove you from the situation that you want to escape, but it can ground you and bring you back into your body.
    It could be helpful to establish a safety plan for managing the abuse you are currently enduring. You might consider what comforts you, what soothes you, what brings you ease and peace and then engage in it whenever possible.
    Perhaps to counter your mothers bullying and negative comments you can come up with positive statements you can recite to yourself, you can write out on post-eds and keep in places youll see them and be reminded or even say them to yourself in front of the mirror. Also knowing that unless cornered you can always walk away from a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. Abusive behavior in whatever form doesn’t need to be tolerated.
    Also consider your support system. If your mom is not a safe person to confide in, perhaps going to supportive friends, teachers, or even a counselor who is familiar with emotional abuse could be helpful. These are people that can validate your feelings and truly appreciate who you are, as you rightfully deserve.
    Thank you again for reaching out. It’s not easy to ask for help when we are feeling vulnerable. We want to highlight the courage and strength it takes to do so. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
    Stay safe!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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