I'm 18 and I want to leave but I'm stuck.

[Unregistered]

I've been having such a difficult time at home. My parents are constantly doing things uncalled for. Any little thing I do is never enough. I'm always yelled at or belittled for everything I do. Yesterday I was locked out of my house and told to walk to church over the topic of how I dressed for church. It was very casual, dark blue jeans, brown top, and a black cardigan. My mother told me to get out of her car and go to church on my own time. I got out the car, she drove off leaving me out in the cold. I walked an hour to get to church and it was windy and cold, I have never felt like I did anything so dramatic for their angry behavior towards me. I'm tired of living with my bipolar, overprotectve, and angry father who yells at me and treats me like a slave. I'm tired of living with a mother who I can never tell anything to without my father being involved. I feel alienated from them and I don't know what to do. I put up with a lot and being Nigerian, we're a very traditional family. I've had my uncle speak to me about the incident saying it's how they're trying to steer me in the right path. How? How is that okay, why should that be okay. No one called to see if I made it home safely. I waited at my house for 15 minutes only to realize no one was home. My keys, which had my car key and house key, was taken away by my father so how could I get in. There is only so much I can put up with. These people don't understand me and never will. I want to pack my bag and leave but what example will I be setting for my brothers. I have several friends that offered to let me move in with them but should I? I'm lost, emotionally drained, and just unsure about anything anymore. I'm getting fed up with the daily verbal abuse and argument. What do I do??

[ccsmod1]

RE: I'm 18 and I want to leave but I'm stuck.

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation at home. We are sorry to hear that you are being abused and belittled at home. Nobody deserves to be treated that way, and it sounds like your mom really overreacted when she kicked you out of the car. Since you are 18 years old, in the U.S. you are considered a legal adult. This means that your parents do not have the legal authority to tell you where to live, and you have a right to move out if you want to. Moving out is a big step and can be really hard, but since you are 18, if you leave your parents cannot do anything about it. You said you are from a traditional family and you are concerned about making a good impression for your brothers. It is understandable that you want to do what is right in your family. However, it sounds like your parent’s behavior is taking a serious toll on you emotionally. Living with verbal abuse, yelling, and anger sounds hurtful and stressful, and it is understandable that you want to move out. As a legal adult, you have a right to make decisions about where you live. If you need help figuring out how to move out or where you will go, we can help you come up with options and make a plan. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. We are looking forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.