Pushing her beliefs on me

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So my mom is a Christian and I am too, but shes more of an extremist. I honestly feel like religion should be a personal journey, kind of like a relationship. Relationships normally involve disagreements and mistakes and stuff, but when I make mistakes or have my OWN FREE WILL THOUGHTS against something that she thinks is wrong, she tries to shove her morals and beliefs on me. I hate being labeled as a christian, and i'm sorry if I offend anyone but a lot of Christians are hypocritical at my church and they're the kind of people who say "the bible says this" and they still make a ton of mistakes and yell at you for not being perfect. My mom acts like im supposed to be Jesus himself and im tired of sharing the Christian label with her and other people like her. Religion is a relationship with the God you believe in, and when you're in a relationship with a person you dont magically have a label like 'christian' you're just in a relationship

My mom tries to live my life for me and she wont let me watch anything past a PG rating and im 14 now! I've been watching and playing pokemon for years while everyone else grows up around me and my mom is telling me to grow up but when i find something that i want to do she takes a look at it and says that she wont tolerate it because "its a sin" and im honestly running out of things to do. Shes making my life so boring and shes like a toxic parent, she wants to live my life for me and i have no right to a free will because its "her house" but i have a dad who doesnt live with me and a stepdad who she wont even let take part in raising me because he isnt overly-religious. I honestly dont see the point in having a child if you're going to treat them like a sheep and herd them to your own beliefs when everyone is different. I dont really care if shes my legal parent but shes stressing out and everytime shes around i get physically ill to my stomach and i want to throw up because she makes everything so boring and she guilts me out of everything by asking me "is this pleasing to the lord"

My religion isnt a "religion" its a relationship, and relationships are not perfect. You dont have to do everything the other says and you can disagree, and i feel like its more about love than forcing the other to do everything. shes starting to push me away from my religion by making me feel that if i was going to go to hell for doing something as simple as watching a pg-14 show with a couple of cuss words then i dont want a part of any God who would condemn me for something that stupid. She acts like watching Kitchen Nightmares (which she banned me from watching yesterday) is going to influence me to kill someone, and its not because im a responsible person and she sees me as a little baby who desperately needs her help. I'm not even allowed to think for myself without her trying to pray my sin away and shes already upset with me because im transgender and she feels that im unhappy with God's design, and its not my fault that i think my body is disgusting and i'd rather have a strong male body, i never asked to be unhappy. Im just tired of her treating me like she can live my life for me, and its messing with my mental health.

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RE: Pushing her beliefs on me

Hello-

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your mother is causing you such extreme stress by pushing her religious beliefs on you. It must be hard to have pressure on you to be perfect all the time. You seem to have a very mature view of what religion means to you and it’s great you continue to defend your beliefs.
You mentioned that you identify as transgender and that your mother is upset with you because of that. It is understandable that lack of support for who you are would be hurtful and distressing. You deserve to have your gender identity respected. Sometimes talking to someone who has experienced similar things to you is a great way to get support and guidance with what you are going through. The Trans lifeline at 1-877-565-8860 is a hotline you can call to talk to other transgender individuals. They can provide you with a listening ear and support. You can also visit their website http://hotline.translifeline.org/ to get a better idea of the services they provide.

You also mentioned that a lot of the hostility between you and your mom is because of your differences in faith and how you interpret your religious beliefs. A good option for you could be to talk to someone who has similar faith ideals. You could try a religious establishment or faith community that you know that speaks to your personal faith and supports you. It could also help to turn to a friend, family member, or adult that you trust and can confide in. This may provide you with ideas that you may not have originally thought of on your own.

We are also here to provide you with any support you may need. We are a 24/7 confidential hotline and would love to talk to you about what is going on at home. You can reach us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you are uncomfortable with talking to us on the phone, you can also reach us through our online chat services. Our online chat services are available all week from 4:30 p.m. - 11:30 p.m. central time through our website www.1800runaway.org.

We wish you the best of luck with everything and we hope to hear from you soon.