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  • My parents make me want to kill myself

    I don't know if anyone will even see this, but I need somewhere to vent... My mom is addicted to narcotics, a liar, and she is extremely abusive. Just the other day, she attacked my brother, scratched his neck and left a cut on him. He pushed her away in self-defense and she called the police on him. The reason for their altercation is because she has an obsessive, vitriolic hatred for my aunt (her sister) and my brother sat in the same car she did when they were both offered a ride home. He told my mom that I was inviting my aunt to my upcoming graduation, and the woman went insane. She started off telling me that she wasn't coming to my graduation if my aunt was coming. Then she started telling me how I'm ungrateful because she took me on vacation and bought me video games when I was young, and how she worked (keyword: worked) hard to "raise" me, and how instead of "taking care of me" (quotes because she hasn't taken care of me since I was 15. I cook her dinners, I take care of her when she overdoses on her drugs. She literally has never had a clue about how long I've been depressed and suicidal because of her) she should have spent her money on her own nails and clothes and shoes, instead of doing anything for me, and how I'm "choosing" my aunt over her (mind you, I never once told my mother she couldn't come to my graduation). She told me I had to choose who comes, it has to be her or my aunt. I told her that I wasn't going to choose, because whoever wants to support me on my graduation day will show up so long as they have their tickets. She then yelled at me, "NO IT'S NOT MY F***** CHOICE" and then proceeded to tell me how I'm a piece of sh** child and that she wishes she would have aborted me because she feels "so hurt and disrespected." Now she has decided to kick me out since I supposedly believe that my aunt is my mother. She has disowned me and given me three months to leave her house. She keeps coming into my room to yell at me, and even in the morning when I have to leave to catch the bus she's there, screaming until she gets an answer. She asked me "Since you think you're smart who do you think is going to cover your financial aid now?" And I told her (not like I meant it, but she wouldn't leave me alone and I would have been late) "I could ask my dad." She got mad and created some elaborate lie to tell my dad about the whole situation, and he told me to "Not get him involved in my crap." Now I don't even have a father to go to about this. I don't even know what to do anymore or where I'd even go.

    Right now I just regret not killing myself when I had the chance, but since I'm still here, I figured I should just ask for some advice...
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  • #2
    Reply: My parents make me want to kill myself


    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now.
    You do not deserve to be verbally or emotionally abused by anyone. It sounds like you have tried to do right by your mother but things have not worked out favorably for you.
    It is not your fault that her life has been one of self -abuse.

    You deserve a life of peace and with a safe environment. Sometimes things can be chaotic and confusing making it difficult to know where to turn.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help. If you would like to speak more about your situation and begin to look at some options towards making a plan, please give us a call or live chat with us.

    Contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (Live chat).

    If you should staart to have thoughts of suicide please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

    You did a courageous thing by reaching out today. Good for you.

    Be safe and take care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello there,
      I come from a family that has been plagued with very similar issues, and i am a survivor of physical abuse and verbal and emotional abuse from my mother and father and sister who have serious drug issues or alcoholism. My advice from my experience would be for you to take steps towards learning a skill that would eventually get you a job that you could enjoy, but dont make it too hard for yourself or expensive, and in your future you can take steps to create the solid foundations financially in your life to support yourself. I wish i hadve done that early on but i didnt. In the beginning i went from job to job, often reliving upheaval and lack of stability. And later on i did a one year diploma which helped. Sometimes having physical stability with where you live and work really helps alot. And at the same time, to start seeking self help free information on the internet greatly helps too. Bless you. I hope things come right: for you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Reply: Hello there,

        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

        Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.

        Thank you,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          My dad is verbally abusive. He makes me feel worthless and I just hate him so much. My mom won’t do anything about it. She just stands there and watches. I already tried to kill myself because of him. The police came and took me to the mental hospital. They always just complain about the bills. They never asked me if I was okay. They just constantly guilt trip me. I’m telling my dad that he was the reason I tried to kill my self tomorrow, and if that doesn’t work out well, I don’t know what I’ll do.

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. You are not worthless! The way your dad treats you says more about his own character than it does about yours. You have experienced a great deal of pain and you are resilient for having made it to today. If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 800 273 8255. At the NRS, we do provide a service where we can mediate a conference call between youth and their parents. We do our best to make sure that everyone not only gets to say their piece, but also to seriously listen to the other person. If you are interested in this or exploring what other options you might have, please do not hesitate to reach out to us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

            Take care,
            NRS

        • #6
          Today was a tough day, I have finally had it with my father, even though he isnt drinking anymore, he still sprained my ankle a few months ago and i live in constant fear of being hurt, today after a fight i beat holes in my wall and broke a picture and a door in my room. i then ran to my grandparents and am hiding here, i dont feel safe at home and the emotional stress makes me want to die if I even come close. I am 15 years old and live in Michigan, Can i live with my grandparents full time?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there, thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. From what you shared, it sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation and we are here to help you as best we can.It is very brave to share what has been going on at home. It sounds like it is a tough situation and this is a great step to look for help. We are going to talk about a few things and if you want to talk further or brainstorm other ideas, we are here 24/7 over our phone lines (1-800-RUNAWAY) and we also have an online chat system as well.

            First, it sounds like home is not a good place right now and we are sorry to hear that. It is not okay for your dad to treat you how you talked about and him hurting you is not okay. We aren’t legal experts but generally, the age of adulthood is 18 years old which means if you are under that age, your parents/guardians are legally responsible for you and where you live. This means if you do decide to leave home, your parent/guardian can reach out to the non-emergency police to file a runaway report. If you are found, you will be returned to home, but if you do not feel safe, you can tell the police department and they would involve Child Protective Services to investigate. We are always here to talk about what reporting to CPS looks like and Child Help (1-800-422-4453) can always be a resource to talk to. We are also always here for you to talk about what reporting can look like but also how to stay safe and if you feel like you need to leave home.
            Your safety is always important and we truly care about you and what you are going through is not okay. If you are in an emergency you have the right to call 911 if you feel unsafe with you dad. We hope to hear from you soon and don’t hesitate to reach out again.

            Best, NRS

        • #7
          i just want to end it all i’m only thirteen and i’m already so done with my life. i’ve gone through therapy and no one can fix me.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            We are really glad that you reached out and it takes a lot of strength. It can be really exhausting and difficult to work through feelings of wanting to end it all. Your situation may seem helpless, but you are not alone and we are here to help. If you are having suicidal feelings you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also text CONNECT to 741741 if you need someone to talk to. There are people who care about you and resources where you can find support to help you cope with the feelings that you are having. It can be really helpful to feel like you have a strong support system. If there are any family members, friends, teachers, or other adults you feel comfortable with you could try talking to them about how you are feeling. Please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 if you need someone to talk to or need help. We are here 24/7 to listen and support you.

        • #8
          Hey um......I..I really need to talk to someone about this, please help me, its about my father, day after day he treats me like his emotional punching bag, he doesn’t care about how I feel or how his words hurt me, he only cares about what he wants, he mentally and verbally abuses me, blames all his and my mothers problems on me and a couple days ago he said I was the reason he was never able to finish college.....insinuating that I ruined his adult life, everyday he makes me feel like a failure,my mother doesn’t care, she actually lets him do it, she watches as he screams at me, and she yells at me because she doesn’t want him yelling at her about his problems so they put this on me instead, he’s never there for me, my dad is completely emotionally numb, he doesn’t give a ******** about how I feel he could care less about what makes me happy, to be honest I don’t expect him to show up to my graduation,I doubt I’ll even make it there because my grades are failing with the constant depression I am going through because of this family and when I try to talk to my mother about it I just get ridiculed and judged as if I’m wrong to feel so hurt and broken, the only happiness I have is my friends and my girlfriend, they feel like more of a family at this point, I find myself missing their company greatly on weekend,but hating being around my actually family, it just all hurts, I’ve tried to kill myself twice last year over my father and I feel like this entire family is driving me to that point,i don’t know what to do anymore,my dad never has and never will be there for me in my worst moments becuase he’s to busy not caring or laughing at me,at least I know how not to raise children, my father a horrible example and if I got anything out of being around him, it makes me wanna make sure my own children never go through the same thing,but that’s besides the point, what am I going to do, someone please talk to me I’m falling apart.

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live into a home with so much tension. No one deserves to be emotionally or psychologically abused. You should be treated with respect and feel comfortable in your home.

            You mentioned that you have previously attempted to kill yourself. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

            It’s great to hear that your boyfriend and friends are able to provide you support and are a reprieve from the verbal and psychological abuse. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS
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