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Running Away, Suicidal, Self Harming, And All That Jazz

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  • Running Away, Suicidal, Self Harming, And All That Jazz

    Hi there.
    To get straight to the point, I'm 13. I've been thinking of running away since I was probably 11. Never actually got the courage to.
    In first grade, my mother started banging my head against the table for some reason and made my nose purple for a whole month. I had to lie to all my teachers that I accidentally banged my nose against the table by myself.
    In third grade, I owned a diary. My mother found it, and I grabbed it out of her hand, saying it was mine. My dad butted in and they chased me throughout our apartment and made my hands bleed as they took it out.
    In 5th grade, I didn't do my tutoring homework for a week. They found out because my mother looked through my bag. They kept smacking me a ruler and made the top half of my lips blow up.
    In 7th grade, I was texting something to my friend that I wasn't supposed to on a group chat. My parents didn't know at first, but they tried clawing through my hands to get my phone to see who I was texting. My hand bled again, and then they started smacking me for telling them the thing. It was something about my medical problems, but I feel like I had the right to tell someone because it's my problem.
    Then this summer, at tutoring, I got the same exact score on a test that I got the last time I took a test. My parents started beating me with rulers and everything else they could find. They also started whipping me with belts.
    I've been self harming since 5th grade. One time I forgot that it was mother's day, and my mother started screaming at me. I know I shouldn't have forgotten it, but I don't think I deserved to be screamed at and beaten.
    I've also been suicidal. Still am. I tried everything, from cutting to pills-it just doesn't work.
    Writing this helped me let this all out. I just need advice-what should I do? I don't want anymore drama.

  • #2
    Re: Running Away, Suicidal, Self Harming, And All That Jazz

    Hi there,
    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have really been through a lot and we are sorry to hear about all of this. We are glad that you found us and took a step in trying to get some help. We’re here to listen and support you in any way that we can.

    You shared that you have been suicidal and self-harming. These are some really serious things to be dealing with, especially alone. We’d like to provide you with some resources that may be helpful to you regarding self-injury and suicidal thoughts; and the National Suicide Hotline at (800) 273 TALK (8255). You can call the suicide hotline any time that you are feeling like you are wanting to end your life and you can speak to a trained counselor.

    You disclosed a lot of abuse that you have experienced throughout your time at home and we are sorry to hear about all of this. You do not deserve to be abused by anyone, in any way. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. If you feel like reporting this is something you want report to Child Protective Services, you can call Child Help USA at (800) 422 4453 to talk about what that would look like and they can transfer you to your state’s services to make a report. As an alternative, you could call us here at 1800runaway and we can talk more about what may happen if this was reported, and we can make that call out together if that is something you want.

    Please remember that your safety is the most important thing to us. We’re here to help keep you safe in any way that we can. You can call us any time, there is always someone here. Or if you are more comfortable talking online, you can chat with us during evening hours.

    Best of luck,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      hey dude

      I understand what is happening to you I am experiencing the same thing and my mom and dad beat me but I want to run away so please dude if you can call child services and tell them because what’s happening to you is terrible and your parents are the worst and I would not wish this on a devil so please try to help yourself and just please for goodness sake don’t kill yourself.

      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you for responding to one of our posters.
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-18-2015, 07:14 AM.


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