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Hi there.
To get straight to the point, I'm 13. I've been thinking of running away since I was probably 11. Never actually got the courage to.
In first grade, my mother started banging my head against the table for some reason and made my nose purple for a whole month. I had to lie to all my teachers that I accidentally banged my nose against the table by myself.
In third grade, I owned a diary. My mother found it, and I grabbed it out of her hand, saying it was mine. My dad butted in and they chased me throughout our apartment and made my hands bleed as they took it out.
In 5th grade, I didn't do my tutoring homework for a week. They found out because my mother looked through my bag. They kept smacking me a ruler and made the top half of my lips blow up.
In 7th grade, I was texting something to my friend that I wasn't supposed to on a group chat. My parents didn't know at first, but they tried clawing through my hands to get my phone to see who I was texting. My hand bled again, and then they started smacking me for telling them the thing. It was something about my medical problems, but I feel like I had the right to tell someone because it's my problem.
Then this summer, at tutoring, I got the same exact score on a test that I got the last time I took a test. My parents started beating me with rulers and everything else they could find. They also started whipping me with belts.
I've been self harming since 5th grade. One time I forgot that it was mother's day, and my mother started screaming at me. I know I shouldn't have forgotten it, but I don't think I deserved to be screamed at and beaten.
I've also been suicidal. Still am. I tried everything, from cutting to pills-it just doesn't work.
Writing this helped me let this all out. I just need advice-what should I do? I don't want anymore drama.
To get straight to the point, I'm 13. I've been thinking of running away since I was probably 11. Never actually got the courage to.
In first grade, my mother started banging my head against the table for some reason and made my nose purple for a whole month. I had to lie to all my teachers that I accidentally banged my nose against the table by myself.
In third grade, I owned a diary. My mother found it, and I grabbed it out of her hand, saying it was mine. My dad butted in and they chased me throughout our apartment and made my hands bleed as they took it out.
In 5th grade, I didn't do my tutoring homework for a week. They found out because my mother looked through my bag. They kept smacking me a ruler and made the top half of my lips blow up.
In 7th grade, I was texting something to my friend that I wasn't supposed to on a group chat. My parents didn't know at first, but they tried clawing through my hands to get my phone to see who I was texting. My hand bled again, and then they started smacking me for telling them the thing. It was something about my medical problems, but I feel like I had the right to tell someone because it's my problem.
Then this summer, at tutoring, I got the same exact score on a test that I got the last time I took a test. My parents started beating me with rulers and everything else they could find. They also started whipping me with belts.
I've been self harming since 5th grade. One time I forgot that it was mother's day, and my mother started screaming at me. I know I shouldn't have forgotten it, but I don't think I deserved to be screamed at and beaten.
I've also been suicidal. Still am. I tried everything, from cutting to pills-it just doesn't work.
Writing this helped me let this all out. I just need advice-what should I do? I don't want anymore drama.
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