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i want to live with my aunt, cousin, and uncle

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  • i want to live with my aunt, cousin, and uncle

    okay so. i’m 12. i live wth my parents but i don’t want to anymore. my parents are always fighting and i turk they want to get a divorce. also, my dad is always yelling at me for nothing. literally nothing. but he also has the same problem with my mom. my dad is the only thing that i can talk to my mom about and me and her agree about. but my mom is also a problem too. she doesn’t give me any choices. she makes me do stuff or not do stuff. all these things my friends can do i can’t. also she yells at me. just earlier she yelled at me bc my friend asked me to spend the night. if i ask her to not do something she still does it. i asked her to not tell my friends mom that i wanted to do something tomorrow (bc i don’t) and yet she still did. she ignores me and always argues with me. i cry at least once a day bc of my parents. i have talked a little bit about it to my other family members. they think that just bc i’m a kid that i’m just over reacting and exaggerating. but i’m not, im really not. i have depression and sometimes i’m suicidal. this is the main reason. the other main reason is bc of school. i have thought about school for months and i have told my parents that i think i would do better if i was homeschooled or at least online schooled but they won’t do it. they won’t even look into it. my aunt has even said that if they would be okay with me being homeschooled, she would homeschool me. my cousin is homeschooled and do believe it would be better for me. also, i think it would be better for me to stop living with my parents. i would be much better off if i could live with my aunt or even my grandma. i don’t know what to do about this. i’ve been thinking for almost a year and i really do think it would be better for me. i have also prayed about this. i’ve been a christian my whole life and i’ve been talking to god about my problems for a while. they have become to much lately tho. i feel like this is the best thing for me. help?

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. We want you to know that you are worth it and that there is hope for you. That sounds so difficult to have that conflict at home. But it sounds like you have some supportive people in your life like your grandma and aunt.

    We want you to know that if you ever feel that you are in danger of hurting or killing yourself, you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255; suicidepreventionlifeline.org), 911 or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    You mentioned some struggles with depression and mental health concerns. If you want further information about mental health resources, you could check out the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA); 1-877-726-4727; samhsa.gov; findtreatment.samhsa.gov/.

    It sounds like all of your struggles are making you consider leaving home. If you do decide to leave home, you could consider thinking about ways to make sure you stay safe. You could explore ways you would pay for food, shelter, clothing and other necessary things. You could think about how long you would stay away, where you would stay, and what things would be like when you return. You could consider what you would do if you felt that you were in danger or had an emergency.

    If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling. Just so you’re aware, we have a conference calling service here where we could help mediate a conversation between you and your parents.

    There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place if you’re in need or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello there. I have just turned twelve recently, but I enjoy it, but I don’t . You see, I live with my grandpa and younger sister, since my parents are drug and alcohol abusers. My grandpa is nice... sometimes. He will randomly yell at me and my sibling when we do nothing. He also uses physical harm to teach us lessons, but hardly uses that form of punishment. He mostly tends to use verbal abuse, more to my sister. We both dislike it, and want to say something. I have tried multiple times to speak my mind to my grandfather, and he laughs it off and doesn't speak of it, which infuriates me. We are all omnivores as well, and I am starting to think negatively on that. I want to tell him I am turning vegetarian, but I am afraid to. These are all reasons I want to live with my aunt. My aunt is loving, understanding, outgoing, and a proud vegetarian. I have bonded with her recently, and it pains me staying away from her. Also, I have chores. My main one is dishes, and even if I leave four dishes remaining, I get in trouble, with verbal punishment. He then takes away the weekends I spend with my aunt. I hate it, and I sometimes cry myself to sleep from it. I really feel like I am beginning to suffer from some sort of separation anxiety/depression, but I don't really know. Thank you for listening, and please respond

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did.
        It sounds like you have been through a lot with your parents being drug and alcohol abusers and then also having to live in a stressful home with your verbally abusive grandfather. It’s hard for people to change their behavior if they don’t think they are doing anything wrong, which your grandfather believes.
        Whether you can live with your aunt depends on the decision of who has legal custody of you. If your parents still have custody, they can give permission. If you grandparents have custody, maybe your aunt can ask for you to come live there.
        If you want to talk more about this issue and what you are going through, you and your sister are welcome to reach out to us via our phone hotline or live chat service. Details below. We hope this helps a little and that you might reach out by phone or chat.
        Sincerely,
        NRS

    • #4
      Hi im 11 turning 12 in 8 days. Sadly my dad is a gaslighting drunk parent, whenever he drinks he gets childish and says things about my family which makes me mad. I have a god mom and a aunt that are willing to pay for legal services and stuff to keep me safe. It can get lonely when you are away from all family, they live in indiana while i live in chicago. When my dad in not drunk he still kinda has the same personality just without as much....enthusiasm. My grandma lives here too but her leg had to get cut off, i can sometimes tell she doesn't want me here. My grandma isn't your typical grandma, she's not all hugs and kisses, for example she once stabbed me with a plastic fork. I dont even have a bedroom yet. My god mom had me for SEVERAL years but one day my mom was sick and i had to go visit her because i haven't cause i was scared, and somehow he knew i was there and knew my mom couldnt do anything so i went back to chicago with him, sadly my mom is dead now but before she died she was a drug abuser. My brother doesnt live with me, he lives with my aunt but i really want to live with him and my cousins
      Last edited by ccsmod16; 01-11-2021, 06:29 PM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through a lot of really hard things. Getting stabbed with a plastic fork is awful, and you do not deserve that at all. We are sorry to hear that your mom died - and that the relationship was difficult at the end. We are also sorry to hear about your dad being a gaslighting drunk. You deserve to live in a place where you are loved and respected.
        We would like to talk with you more about your situation, so we hope that you will reach out to us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway) or via live chat at www.1800runaway.org
        Also, since you are in Illinois, you can reach out to CCBYS and arrange to talk with someone from a local youth agency who will assess your situation and work to help you. You can reach them at 1-877-870-2663
        We hope you reach out to them, or us for help in your situation.
        Sincerely, NRS

    • #5
      Hi I’m 12 turning 13 soon and I am struggling with my life I little, I used to live with my mum from when I was born until I was about 9 and a half. My parents are divorced and have been since I was 2. My dad has re-married and my step mum is amazing and I love her but sometimes I need the attention of a mother figure like my mum used to do to me becasue that made me feel safer with her. I pay visits to my aunt very frequently during the school holidays and every time I go and visit them it reminds me of my mom as they are part of the same family, and after my visit is over I feel a sort of emptiness becasue the attention I crave from a motherly figure can’t be with me.
      I want to talk to my dad and my step mum about it but I can’t because they won’t understand any thing I say even though they say they do they make me feel worse about the situation. My dad is amazing and does nothing bad to me but apart from all the telling offs I get for doing mostly nothing, I never get that with my aunt. I have tried talking to my dad about this but he says I can’t just cry to make myself feel better becasue it’s not healthy and that I need to grow up and learn how to deal with my sadness, but it’s really difficult.
      my aunt homeschools my cousins and they go to parks and rivers all the time even when they are doing school work and my cousins are years ahead of me even though one of the same age and one is 2 years younger. After we visit them I feel really upset like I’m missing out. I know that my family ( my dad ) is amazing and he is so fun but I feel like school and everything is too much.
      I love my aunt as much as I love my family and I want to go and live with her and get homeschooled by her, and whenever I feel upset and need a good cry and to be comforted she understand and treats me how my mum used to when I was sad. I want to live with her so much but I’m not sure how to tell my dad because he will judge me so much. Whenver I leave I try and keep something from there to help me remember that everything will be ok, I feel like I want to be homeschooled by her because school is really stressful and is making my anxiety even worse.
      the only reason I haven’t been telling my dad for years is because he will judge me and start to ignore me when o try and explain to him. Help me becasue I don’t know what to do becasue I really want to explain to my dad but I don’t know how to tell him everything and my step mum definitely won’t understand and she has never been what people would call the motherly figure I mean she is but she isn’t the motherly figure I need.
      I really want to live with my aunt and be homeschooled by her but I’m not sure what my dad would say and how I should tell him because he will never understand.
      I need help becasue this situation is tearing my inside, my aunt had agreed to talk to me as basically like what she would do at home but that’s not enough, my mum is unable to look after me anymore as she has bipolar and I was ordered by the court to live with my dad. My aunt has always said that she is happy to look after me and she offered to look after me and let me live with her whn my mum was going crazy. I live in London and my aunt lives in Leeds so if I was to go live with her I wouldn’t see my dad and my mum that much, and even when I would tell my dad he would guilt me into changing my mind. I want to talk to my dad about it but I am worried about how he will respond.
      I want to talk to my aunt about it and I will but I need to go and live with her and it will be better. I just need someone like her and my mum in my life and I think living with her will have consequences on my life but will have mostly pros and will be amazing

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for writing to us here at NRS. It sounds like you are experiencing a tough time in your family right now. We’re so sorry to hear that. It’s great that you’re considering your feelings as well as your dad, aunt, and step mum.

        It sounds like you’d prefer to live with your aunt who could spend more time with you and who you get along with well. It seems like there is something you are getting at your aunt's house which is not at home. It can be helpful to think about what that exactly is and if it is possible to get that your own house.

        But you are having trouble telling your dad and step mum how you’re feeling about the situation because they don’t seem to understand. Talking to your dad and step mum about specifically what is missing can be helpful. Sometimes it can also be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to them. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust.

        While visiting your aunt's house can be fun living there can be a totally different thing. She may have different rules and expectations. It can be helpful to think about those things too.

        The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community-based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

        We wish you the best,

        NRS

    • #6
      Hi, I'm 13 turning 14 soon and I live in Florida, and I want to run away. I feel like everyone hates me and I was suspended from school a few days ago and now I feel like a failure. I have always been depressed ever since my mom started to beat me with a belt when I didn't do something she wanted me to do. My dad randomly attacks me throughout the day and he likes to pinch me really hard and slap me on my leg. He one time put his fingers in my neck and I couldn't breathe. He acts as if I enjoy it because when I'm in pain I laugh for some reason and he continues to attack me. My mom sees him do this but just stands there and when I ask her for help she just acts like nothing is happening. I told my dad to stop and he does for a while but then at some point, he does it again. I have been suicidal because of this but I never harmed myself but I did have thoughts of it though. I am an emotional person and cry when I think about anything sad which is 24/7. A few days ago I was contemplating hanging myself but I didn't. After that, I was thinking about overdosing on acetaminophen but decided not to. My last solution is to run away but I don't know where to go. I don't have any money or a phone. The only things that will keep me alive are clothes, food, and an apple watch for the time. On top of that, I live in a rich city and there are not many places to go and I am scared of being caught. I was suspended from school last Thursday and didn't go to school last Friday or yesterday. Today everyone had no school but tomorrow I have to go back and I don't want to. I am planning to run at 5 a.m. tomorrow on my bike but I have no lock for it. I don't even know how long I will survive given the circumstances. All I want is to sleep anywhere but the streets. I am bringing a big backpack with me but I don't know if that will look suspicious. I was going to call a friend and ask if I could sleep at their house for a few days but my phone got taken away and I don't remember their number so I have nowhere to sleep now. I just want to get out of my house and never come back. Please respond, I don't know what to do.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) regarding the challenges you are facing. We recognize that it takes a great deal of bravery and strength to talk about one's mental health struggles as well as difficult experiences. It sounds like there are quite a few layers to what is causing you such pain and we understand why you feel that your home life is not serving your mental health in a positive way. You have valid concerns regarding the potential challenges and barriers you may face if you were to run away and it sounds like you might ultimately be trying to find a safe space in an environment that you feel you will be able to heal in. We would be delighted to have a more personal, direct conversation with you so that we can talk further about everything you mentioned and better support you. Please feel welcome to contact us through phone, dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our online chat option, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org

        We would like to leave you with two other support lines for reference as well:

        The first being 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You may dial 988, or reach out through their online chat option (similar to ours), found on their website at www.988lifeline.org, where you can chat with their support staff, who specialize in crisis related services. They are a safe space for you to talk about things such as your thoughts/plans of suicide, etc. We ask that if you feel that you in or at risk of being in imminent danger from others or yourself, please do not hesitate to dial 911 immediately. We recognize that you mentioned you do not have your phone right now, so 988 may also serve as an emergency contact if you find these thoughts resurfacing. We are beyond grateful to hear that you decided not to go through with ending your life. Please know that you are needed in this world and none of your experiences can or will define you as a failure. You are needed in this world and we hope that you will be able to find that you are never alone. You deserve endless days of happiness and we encourage you at this time to prioritize your mental health as much as possible. This could look like connecting with a therapist or school counselor, reaching out to support hotlines, engaging in healthy and safe activities that bring you joy and leisure, surrounding yourself with people, animals, or things in your life that make you feel at peace, eating or drinking your favorite food/drinks, playing games you enjoy, taking time to get fresh air outside, etc.

        The second resource we would like to provide you with is Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline. This organization specializes specifically in child abuse support. They can be reached by calling 1-800-422-4453 or through their online chat option, found on their website at www.childhelp.org. Please know that it is never okay, under any circumstances, for another person (relative or not) to lay hands on you.

        We hope that you are able to find comfort in knowing that you have resources and options to spark further and direct conversation within ours and other organizations. We empower you to continue to advocate for yourself and reach out when things don't feel right in your mind. Please know that we are rooting for you and we wish you a safe, long, healthy and happy life. Remember that your life is worth living and you will rise above. The first step to healing is recognizing that there is healing needed. We are proud of you for reaching out and so very glad that you did.

        Warm regards,
        NRS
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