Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I want to move out when I'm 16-17.

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Hi
    is it legal to run away or move out at 16 in indiana? my step mom is verbally abusive and my dad is starting to turn that way also. ALso for a punishment i had to sit at the kitchen table from 8 in the morning to 8 at night for a week and a half. that is a whole week and a half taken away from my life and i can never forgive them.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear you have been experiencing some verbal abuse at home with the parents. It must have also been tough to have to endure the punishment you did. If you feel the abuse you are experiencing is causing you harm and you would like some support as well as information about how to report abuse Child Help may be a beneficial. They have a number which is 1800-422-4453 and a website childhelp.org. To answer your question, it is not illegal to run away. However, at 16 you are still considered a minor and you are required to be under the supervision of a parent, care-taker, or guardian. It may be beneficial to explore all of your options before leaving the home including speaking with your parents about how you feel to try to come to some resolution, or discussing staying with another family member. In case you need some support with speaking to your parents, it may be beneficial to consider our conference call option here. We offer a conference call at NRS to speak to parents and help resolve matters such as this. Please, feel free to give us a call if you would like more information or think this would be beneficial for you. If you feel you have explored all your options and decide to leave the home, it may be beneficial to have a safe and secure plan as well as determine safe ways you are going to be able to care for yourself. We would also be able to provide you with resources if you feel you may need them. We would love to talk with you further. You can reach us at any time by contacting our hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runaway.org.

  • #17
    Hi there,

    So I’m 17, a female, and I was living away from home for about two months until recently I got caught shoplifting. I stole under twenty dollars, just clothes and food because I couldn’t afford them. When they called my mom she’s now forcing me to move back in. I really don’t want to, she stresses me out. Constantly yelling and always having some sort of issue with me. I feel disconnected with her, partially my fault. It’s gotten to the point where my life is better without her and the rest of my family, which is selfish of me: they do so much for me, and I know this. I want to move back out, but I don’t know how to convince her to let me leave. I was raped a few months ago, and it’s changed my family for the worst. What do I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

      You mentioned that you were raped. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and we believe and support you. You are a survivor and that means that you have a great strength and resilience inside you. It can be really hard to deal with this alone and sometimes it’s helpful to reach out to additional agencies for support. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful.

      It’s worth mentioning that if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. Generally speaking, if you are located by the authorities and a runaway report has been filed you’ll be brought back home to your mother.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      All the best,
      NRS

  • #18
    I am in a long distance relationship with a really sweet guy. he told me he plans on moving to my state when we are 21 so we could live together. But i am scared that my parents will hate me. I plan on saving moey from the job i possibly will have and im really responsible but im really scared that my parents will hate me for wanting to move out...help?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS, we are always here to listen and to help. It sounds like you are in the process of forming a plan for being able to live safely and responsibly with your partner, so that's very positive. You mention wanting to get a job and save up so you can afford a place, and that shows a lot of thoughtfulness and maturity. Talking to parents about decisions that are meaningul to us can always be difficult. We have no idea how they will respond to your decision. The best that you can do is be prepared for whatever response they give you. We can't control other people's feelings, but we can control our actions and reactions. Having a concrete plan on how you're going to begin living with your partner is a great start. We are also here at NRS 24/7 as a resource to talk to if you need emotional support, brainstorming help, etc. Feel free to call or chat us any time- 1-800-RUNAWAY, www.1800runaway.org.

  • #19
    hi i'm part of a family of 6, i have a twin sister and i am 18. i've been through a lot in my passed years. My family and i don't get a long i don't have a strong connections with my dad or my mom. My mom and i always fight, everyday. She tends to just yell over nothing. she gets so upset that she will even throw things or break them. she has even gotten so mad that she's tried to fight me. i just have to stand there and take things. i remember when i was little she was upset and threw a wooden coster at me. i ran outside crying and my head was bleeding. she claim to say she didn't mean to but cant help to think that she did.

    i take a lot of emotional abuse from my mom, from her calling a slut or saying i'm stupid or that i'm never enough. Don't get me wrong i know my mom cares but she cares in the wrong ways. i know that i'm not perfect and that i have lied and done some stuff that weren't right. My mom always likes to compare me t other kids saying " why can't you be like them". i get the feeling that i'm not good enough, that nothing i do will ever be enough to please my parents. I go to a private school and i always get hounded on for my grades. i don't even have bad grades mostly A and Bs sometime a C here and there. i always get my phone taken away, some for days weeks and one time a month. now that were locked in the house for weeks from the corona virus its been worse. My mom always tells me how it would be better if i left. She always thinks i'm going to fail in life or not be successful. i am 18 and will be going to college soon, she still can't trust me to make my own decisions, she also invades my privacy especially with my phone. she always tells me how i'm not responsible but she never gives me a chance to be. My mom treats me like i'm this broken kid when i'm not. The things she says hurts and makes me depressed. My mom always blames me for tearing apart my family and just stuff like that. i am so stressed and honestly just tired of not being enough. I have a boyfriend and she always makes little remarks like " everyone leaves you because you to needy" she just makes it so difficult to be happy.

    Even if i tried to have a conversation with her it can never be finished because she ends up yelling at me or getting mad. i just think it would be in mine and her best interest if we took a break from each other, wouldn't be long maybe a week, i'm just scared of what she would do if i left. I just cant keep living like this its not good for me i just don't want to end up losing myself because of one person. she would never let me leave and i know that but i NEED to leave, i'm 18 and will be in college soon, i need space like now. i've always thought of just packing my bag and just leaving but what holds me back is what my mom would do and how long she would punish me. im just tired of always being on edge in my own house, i'm tired of taking emotional abuse from my parents. i need to leave bro.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We want to thank you for reaching out and writing a post on our bulletin to share your story. It takes a lot of strength to share your situation and ask for help. From what you shared, it sounds like your mom's emotional abuse is incredibly overwhelming and stressful. It is completely understandable you would want to leave this toxic environment to live somewhere you feel more comfortable. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and supported. Leaving can be a big decision to make, but we want you to know that we are here to be a support for you as you take these next steps.

      Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t. There are some factors to consider when making your decision to help you think through a plan (where will you stay, will you be financially supporting yourself, alternative financial plans for paying for college such as loans if your mom decides to stop financially supporting you). If you are not able to stay with friends or family, we can look into shelter resources for you if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or live chat with us at 1800runaway.org. Some areas have transitional living programs which are long-term programs that provide a stable place to live and support with continuing your education and finding employment.

      If you decide that you are not able to move out quite yet, it is important to have ways to emotionally support yourself. If you text "connect" to 741741 you can talk with a crisis counselor about your mental health and ways to cope with all of the stress you are going through. You deserve to feel supported as you navigate this challenging situation.

      We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

      We wish you the best and stay safe,
      NRS

  • #20
    Im 16 ill be 17 in 3 months. Can i live with my best friend without my moms consist? There is alot of family problems that low my mental health. I need help my story is too long to explain but would i get in trouble if i left without my moms consist?

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thanks for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline.
      We’re not legal experts here, but typically you’d need to be 18 before you’re considered an adult and can leave home without mom’s consent. If you did leave home, she could report you to the police as a runaway.
      It sounds like there’s some things happening at home that are really hard for you right now. If you’d like, we can talk it out with you. We’re here to listen and we’re here to help. Please give us a call (1-800-RUNAWAY) or take a live chat right here on this website.

      Best,
      NRS

  • #21
    I am currently 16 fixing to be 17. My friends and fiance both have been telling me that it seems like im being mentally abused. When i was younger i dated when i shouldn't have but now that im 16 im with my fiance and she takes my phone at night when i pay for it ! she has given my fiance and i consent because hes above age. she has told me in january that i could marry him in december 2020 but now has gone back on her word after telling me that she wants me to marry him under the justice of the peace. i hate it that shes did that, i busted my ass to get to graduate early and now im still busting it i cry a lot at night when i don't have my phone from midnight to 8am because my fiance is the only person i have to talk to and i cant even talk to him. Here recently my mom took my door off the hinges when i got fed up with her and in a way raised/talked at me with a hammer in her hand gesturing toward me when she was yelling at me ... i wanted to run away that night but i couldn't think of where to go. my friend couldn't come get me and my fiance lives 4 hours away,so he couldn't come get me either so i had to stay home... the next day she towered over me and i told her i wasn't going to give her my phone so she said if you don't then ill bust it. and so i gave it to her and called the cops, i ran outside and i was distraught and there was a white cop yelling at me telling me that i had no rights because im only 16 that shes allowed to go back on her word after getting my hopes up. and i understood that but that messes with my mind really bad because that is all she has been doing here lately. so my fiance and i cant get married til im 18 in june 2021 but right now my concern is, i want to be emancipated, and i told them that or that i at least would like to go to my friends house til the next day and they arrested me with domestic assault to the 3rd degree, because i yelled at my mom when she is ALWAYS telling at me or someone in my family.. so i yelled at her and told her she does not pay for my phone, i do and she needs to give it back. she claimed that she was scared of me when she wasn't . she locked herself in her room because she tried going through my phone but i had a lock screen on it.. so i was arrested and taken in, for all of a sunday day, til the next day ( monday) i was in there a whole 32 hours or so. She talks to my fiance on the phone all of the time and is as happy as can be, but she also doesn't know that everyday he hears how she is to me. I love my mom very much and the LAST thing i want to do is go back to jail or to a shelter ... Today, which is 2 weeks later she told me she hates me and that im like an orange that is rotting. all because i asked her why i get my things that i pay for taken from me, she is making me absolutely miserable at home and i cant take it anymore. it was like pulling teeth getting my social security from her which is my right to have since it is my identity, i told her i want a job so i can leave home as soon as i turn 18, i only have a copy of my social security card and i still don't have the real thing. i have been wanting a job since i was 14 but i was never allowed to have it, i have also been taking care of my baby sister since she was born about 3 years ago and i only got used for it, i never really got anything out of it. i was forced into sex a month after i turned 16 by a guy i had liked in the past and i gained 2 STI's and i got them cured and my mom still uses it on me and now im doing better with a way better guy, im engaged, and i just want to start my adult life. my mom stressed me out a lot that is why i want to graduate early and get a job so i have more time out of the house. but i cant even get a job right now because she wont let me because of covid-19. i have my fiance's house i could go to with his parents in december or even now if i was allowed to by my mom but she wont even let me go, and i may have other friends places if i asked but all my mom does is she tells me she hates me and wishes she could kick me out of the house but she said she cant bc shed still be responsible for me legally til im 18 and she doesnt want to deal with that but she also tells me that she talked to a detective recently and that they said that if i do anything she doesn't like, like anything at all then they will take me when no one has even listened to my side. i have gotten to the point of no privacy in my room anymore except the closet if i need but shes threatening to take that door off too and i have got no job because of her, i am absolutely miserable now too. i have lost motivation to do anything in the house except clean my room when it needs it, sometimes im barely getting by on homework/online class now but i have high b's when usually i have a's and my AP exams are coming up soon... i feel extrememly alone at home and i feel like i am being mentally abused, the only person i have to vent to is my fiance right now, if i talked to someone else that i didn't know i'd be ranting forever and i'd feel like they wouldn't even hear me out before they said anything. she brings my hopes up really high and then tears them down when she realizes ill do something about it, or something toward my goal, she always does it to me and she says im ungrateful and i dont help around the house at all when i do even if i dont feel like it, im her smartest child and high achieving one and living here is so un movitvating anymore. i dont want to be taken but i want to live somewhere else, that isnt a shelter or jail. apparently everything is my fault around here and every accident or every mistake is my fault and i feel extremely unwanted by her, i just want to live with my fiance or my friends but she would never let me! ive asked nicely to be emancipated if she hates me so bad but she thinks im just selfish and she tells me im not worth all of that time when it'd only be 6 months from december 2020 that i turn 18, i have 14 months left to go right now i dont think ill be able to take it anymore.. i cry a lot right now as is
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-06-2020, 10:11 PM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      It seems like you have been through a lot and your mom hasn’t considered your feelings in how she acts. It seems like she wants to give you hope and let you grow, but is also afraid of losing control so she swings back a forth and ends up coming down on you really hard. She shouldn’t be yelling at you, and it seems like she is afraid of police intervention and has tried to tell her side before yours. It would be nice if police would give you a chance to speak as well. It seems like school is also a stressor, it may be worth reaching out to your teachers and see if they can lighten the load a bit or do some extra tutoring.
      It may be worth also asking a school counselor for help finding a therapist for yourself or a family one. It seems like with everything going on some professional help could be beneficial.
      If you were to leave right now then your mom could file a runaway report and the police would be able to bring you back home. It’s possible that police would listen to your side before they brought you home. You could also look into filing a runaway report, or learn more about options at childhelp.org.
      Again you have been through so much and we really want you to know that we are here to support you however we can. If you have more questions or just need someone to vent to we are always here at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our online chat at 1800runaway.org.
Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X