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  • I want to move out when I'm 16-17.

    My family life is awful. Every single day is a new issue. They yell and act violent a lot, and just today on the second week of school my dad broke my backpack in anger. When I asked for an apology, he said that "his life mattered more than mine" (his words not mine). Yesterday he threw my clothes outside the house and slammed the front door behind me on the same day I'd tried out for the dance team. My mother starts most of the verbal arguments, and has scratched my face multiple times (it left a scar that i had to tell my friends was caused by my pet rabbit). I have had suicidal thoughts on multiple occasions, and when I told my parents after a year of keeping it in, they said I was manipulating them and was a "bully". I can't live like this until I graduate, I know if things persist something bad could happen. My parents aren't awful people, it's just become too hard to deal with daily. I'm really scared. My parents were ok with me staying with either my sister or my cousin, but they both live too far from my highschool. Since I'm almost 15 I have ample time to collect money and rent somewhere to live, I just doubt that they'd let me live by myself. I want to do this legally. Is there anyway I can convince them?

  • #2
    re: I want to move out when I'm 16-17.

    Hey there,

    We are glad you reached out to us, it sounds like you have been dealing with a lot. We are sorry to hear that your parent’s have been treating you this way and that you have been having suicidal thoughts. You don’t deserved to be abused by your parents, and that is a difficult thing to have to experience. We are here to support you during this time.


    We are mandated reporters at the National Runaway Safeline. Because you mentioned that your mom has scratched you and you mentioned they were violent, if you were to give us any identifying information we would have to make a child abuse report. However we don’t have any identifying information so we will not be making a report.


    We are sorry to hear that you are experiencing all of this, it sounds like you are in a tough situation with your home life. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on your situation. Generally, in order to be considered an adult and be able to move out without being considered a runaway, it is age 18 across the United States, however that can still vary. The best way to find out is by calling your local police department. If you were interested in learning more about emancipation, we could provide you with some referrals that can tell you more about how to get legally separated from your parents by calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    If you ever feel as if you are in danger, don’t hesitate to dial 911 and get in contact with your police department. We are glad you reached out to us, and we want to make sure you are safe. We are sorry to hear that you are going through this with your family, and we are here to support you. You can reach us through our bulletin, email, and chat from 4pm-11:30pm daily, and you can also reach us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    Stay strong,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey, I need help telling my mom I wanna move out, I have very bad trust issues with them, and today my mom told me I am going to hell and that I'm the biggest liar she knows, in the past I have been called a whore or slut. I'm not the most innocent person alive, I have done bad things, but I can't take it anymore, I have thought suicidal thoughts and running away, I am tired of verbally being abused by them, I wanna leave before it breaks me completely. They always tell me I never do anything around the house when I do so many things! Plz help, I need your opinion! Thank You!!

      P.S. I also have a family that will take me in.
      ​​​​​​

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there! Looks like you sent us an email with this message. Please see our response to your email, and call or text us if you would like to talk more about your situation.

        We look forward to your call or chat,

        NRS

    • #4
      Hey I’m 15 going to be 16 I wanna move out because I have to live with constantly having to deal with arguing between me and my parents or listening. I’ve been dating this guy for about 5 months and he wants me to move with him and we are gonna be telling my parents but I can’t deal with the verbal abuse from my father so I don’t know if it’s best to just up and leave and leave a note or just tell them but I know I’m forced to stay in the home and horrible town till I’m 18 and I cannot do that I need advice...

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi! Thanks for reaching out. We are really sorry about the abuse you are experiencing. You definitely don’t deserve to be treated that way and it makes sense that you would want to leave that situation. We can’t really give you advice about how to tell your parents where you are going but we can give you some information about running away. If your parents want you to come back, they have the option to file a runaway report. This would allow the police to take you back to them if they found you. Running away isn’t a crime – you can’t be charged with anything or taken to jail and it doesn’t go on your record. One thing we wanted you to know about is that one of the things we can do is conference calling with parents. This would basically be a moderated conversation between you and your parent and can help when you’re trying to say something difficult. If you are interested in that or if you’d like to talk more about your situation please feel free to call us any time on our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat us through our website.

    • #5
      hello NRS.. im 17 and wanted to run away because I have no one to just look after.. and I'm even get caught by suicidal thoughts every time.. I have no mother.. and my father doesn't want me because I'm not fit for him about my grades.. this is not the first time or second time... I have came accros this many times and I feel like dieing inside.. he even suggested me an idea to get some where else since I'm a useless.. he is a good person by outlook to all my friends and relatives.. but he doesn't allow me to live my life.. if it continues to be thr same.. I may even die one day.. reply soon as possible.. thanku

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear about the way your father treats you. You are not useless, you are important. You mentioned that you have suicidal thoughts, your life matters ! Talking to someone about how you feel could help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is a great for support.

        If you decide to runaway, your dad has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they may return you home. Running away isn't against the law but if decide to stay with a friend they could get charged with harboring a runaway. You could try asking your dad if he would allow you to move with another family member or close friend. Another option that you have is contacting Child Protective Services if there is any abuse at home. You may also want to consider looking into emancipation laws for your state. Some police do not accept runaway reports for 17 year old's. You could try contacting your local police through their non-emergency phone number to ask about their runaway policy. If you don't feel comfortable contacting the police, we could reach out to them for you. If you do decide to runaway, we could look up local youth shelters or transitional living programs for you. If you have any questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.


        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

    • #6
      I want to move out cause I can't handle living with my family anymore. I was rape twice and i told people but they didn't do anything. I was abuse most of my life and pick on by my own family. I have a friend who's mom wants to take me in cause of my story. I have ran away 3 times. I use to cut but my friends mom helped me with that. I want to leave please help me. I'm tried of the drinking and fighting

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We're so sorry about what has happened in the past and how it has continue to affect you. You deserve to feel listened to and be safe and happy in your home. If you ever need someone to talk to about the abuse, don't hesitate to reach out to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-4673. Having someone to talk to can help, and they are always there to listen and support if you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or family about it.

        You are always able to report the abuse that you’re going through to CPS or staff at school. You’re not alone in this, we are here to help, and there are other organizations here to help as well. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with your friend’s mom, as far as transferring custody.

        We have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. However, the chatting service is not open 24/7. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

        Be safe, NRS

    • #7
      Hey there, my mom and dad haven't been happy for years and it's been really hard on me. me and my mom do okay sometimes but other times we have raging arguments and i can't stand her. My dad is an alcoholic and he is very verbally abusive to me and my mom. He always makes us feel bad about simple accidents that happen like spilling a drink or dropping food and he tells us we suck all the time and is always trying to annoy us and make us feel bad and he get's really mad when i try to call him out for his bs and yesterday he told me to leave which is what i've wanted for years. My best friend for years asked her mom if i can live with them but only if my mom is okay with it and there's no drama. I know my mom understands it's not against her that i want to leave, it's because i can't take the verbal abuse anymore and i'm just fed up with everything. could you guys help me with what i'm going to say? i would really appreciate because i'm so scared of staying in my house my dad used to get really angry and throw things and he used to hit me too until i called the cops on him.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi and thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage and strength to rise out of abusive situations like that which you described. It shows a lot that you are taking the initiative in taking care of yourself. We can help support you with writing what you are going to say. This might be easier through our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, or through our chat at 1800runaway.org because we could work through the specifics of your situation with you. We are a 24/7, 365 day a year hotline available whenever you are ready. In general, clear and honest processing of feelings surrounding a big decision may be a good idea when trying to communicate effectively. We look forward to hearing from you and take care of yourself.

    • #8
      My mom tries to shelter me... I don't mean baby I mean that she never let me go outside for fear that I might get hurt... I'm 16 I will be 17 in a couple of weeks. My step father... He would be more then happy if I left... He's tried to kick me and my older brother out multiple times...hes a heartless man that only cares for himself, not to mention his precious angel child my little brother. I'm the only one that does anything around the house. I'm the only one that cleans and I'm the only one that really cooks... If I don't clean the house turns into a pigsty that I find disgusting to be around. Everyone else just sits around on their video games. Including my parents. I feel like I'm raising my brothers because nobody else in the house cares.... I want to move in with my boyfriend. I love my mom but I can't deal with it anymore... I struggle with chronic depression and anxiety... When I'm in this house I feel like I'm locked in a pit and I'm all alone and empty and dry... The only solace I get is when my boyfriend come over or I go to his place... I don't want to hurt or leave my mom but I can't stay here.... Multiple times I've asked her to let me move out... I've run away... She refuses to let me go I feel imprisoned and trapped in a place I don't want to be... My parents think I fake my depression and that I over react the hell I feel being here... That's why they don't want me to leave.... Can you help me think of a way I can convince my mom to let me go.... Please and thank you

      Sam

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there -

        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We’re sorry to hear things have been so tough at home. It sounds like you’re taking on a lot of responsibilities for someone your age. That along with not feeling heard by your mom and step father must be so frustrating.

        It’s great that you have someone in your life that you find solace with, but moving in with a boyfriend at your age can be a difficult thing to accomplish. In general, moving out of your parents’ house while you are still a minor is a long process. Until you are a legal adult, your parents are required by law to take care of you, so for you to leave home they would need to agree to it or you would need to prove to a judge that you are able to care for yourself. In many states, this process is called emancipation. The requirements vary by state. While we are not legal experts here at NRS, we can help you learn the basics about the law in your state and help you find an attorney if that’s something you’d like to do. One thing to consider is that this process tends to take a long time, so it may also be worth looking at other options.

        If you were to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online, we could go into greater depth about your situation. We cannot really help you “convince” your mom to let you move out, but maybe we can also help you come up with strategies to make life at home better for yourself and everyone. Talking to you directly is the best way for us to help you. We look forward to hearing from you if you decide to call in. Until then, we wish you the best of luck!

        Be Safe,
        NRS

    • #9
      Hey, I'm a 16 year old girl living in India. I have been caught up in a rough patch lately and cannot handle being here anymore. My boyfriend lives in Durango, Colorado and I'm planning to run away to him. My boyfriend is suicidal at the minute and I want to be there for him ASAP. Rn, I'm stuck with my parents and I don't want to live here anymore. Is there anyway I can gain an USA visa without the knowledge of my parents? Also are there any job opportunities in Durango for a 16 year old girl? Please reply as soon as possible. Thank you.

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    • #10
      hi im 16 and i want to leave home because me and my stepdad are not on the best terms and he has threatened me i dont feel welcome in my own home anymore i cant do nothing i want. i cant even eat as much as i want to.my life has been a living hell for the past year i want to leave and i have to go home today and answer to my stepdad about 15 dollars i didnt give back to him and tell him where it went and i feel like 3 things could happen 1.i could get locked up,2.i could get kicked out,or 3.i could get kicked out and go to jail

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there,

        Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

        It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot. We understand that that trauma can be difficult to work through and that reporting may not be an option you are comfortable with. However, you do deserve to live in a safe place, free from being threatened and given food, and if you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like.

        Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. As you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. Guardians could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

        In regards to your plan of leaving, we would encourage you to speak with your parents about the possibility of an alternative living arrangement, where a responsible adult could take you in and provide a safe place. If you felt like leaving would be in your best interest, some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding. Another resource if you needed to leave, would be the National Safe Place network, accessible by texting 69866 (SAFE & location) or online at nationalsafeplace.org.

        If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
        We hope this information was helpful and take care.
        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    • #11
      I want to move out of my house. My dad verbally abuses me and it’s brought me to attempting suicidal various times. I’m 16, and my dad like a couple months found out i’m gay. He’s been saying really mean things to me since then. “You’re a ********ing animal” ( in Spanish) “don’t wear that you’re not a guy” “if you’re gonna be gay to do it somewhere else not in this house” “if you’re gonna be gay don’t do it in Georgia”. I can’t deal with his ******** anymore. I had a full time job that he made me quit. And I still have money in savings that I could use. How can I move out ? What would be the right thing to do? I have multiple people saying that they would want me to move in. I’m not immature and I’ve honestly been paying for bills since I was 14 at my first job.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. That sounds like a really tough situation to have going on First, we really do thank you for reaching out, it takes a lot to reach out to somebody and it shows a lot that you did, that is worth being proud of. Nobody deserves to be abused in any form and nobody deserves to feel unwelcome in their own home.
        We are a non-directive hotline so we cannot say what you should or shouldn’t do but we are more than happy to talk about what each possibly my look like for you as well as provide any resources for you.
        Typically, the legal age of adulthood is 18 however, some states do have exceptions to this and there can be legal ways to leave home before then. One way we typically suggest youth to find this information out is by calling your local police department’s non-emergency number and asking them about what the legal age of leaving home is and what the circumstances are around leaving home before then. Another way to get this information would be reaching out to local child services or youth advocate services. We can refer you to such a group, but unfortunately we cannot make that type of referral on our forums. However, we can make those referrals over the phone at 1(800)786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.
        You had mentioned that a lot of the verbal abuse seems to be around you coming out to your father. Coming out to family members can be hard, especially if they don’t react positively. You are living your truth and that is something that is incredible and worth being proud of. If you want to talk about this process, how to talk with your family about it, or LGBT+ specific resources, you can always reach out to LGBT National Hotline at 1(88843-4564. You had also mentioned that you had contemplated suicide because of what your dad has been telling you. Suicide is a serious thing. There is a hotline, the Trevor Project, for LGBT youth who are contemplating or have tried suicide. Their number is 1(866)488-7386.
        It sounds like you have a lot going on but it also shows a lot that you reached out and are wanting to work through everything. We are always here for you and free to talk whenever.
        Best of luck,
        NRS

    • #12
      im 17 and want to move out because im tired of the stress and depression and them not caring about how i feel and just always treating me like im just not worth being here at all.

      Comment


      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there -

        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you are being treated so poorly. No one deserves to feel like they are not worth being there at all.

        It's important to have an outlet. It could help a lot to find someone to talk to--a close friend, a family member or a teacher at your school could help you feel heard and validate you. If none of those are available, talking to a counselor could also help a lot. If you are financially restricted, you could call our hotline for resources. We can help you look into family counselors if your family is open to it, or individual counselors for you if they are not. If money is a factor, we have sliding scale therapists we can also help get you in touch with. If none of those appeal to you, you could also just call us up to vent or talk through other options. We are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

        We thank you for reaching out and encourage to reach out again any time you're in need. Best of luck!
        (12:38 PM) NRS208: just a reminder, I can post this when you're ready.

    • #13
      Hi. I hate my family life and everything is awful. I'm only 15, but I have made a decision to move out of my parents house. I get a lot that I'm too young to understand. But most people dont understand crying so hard you want to scream but you cant because you don't want to wake anyone. I have already made budgets and looked at nearby apartments and figured out moving expenses, applied for jobs, I just need money. I cant live at my house anymore, if I stay here any longer I'll kill myself.

      Comment


      • #14
        Reply: Hi. I hate my family life and everything is awful

        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are feeling stressed and frustrated about your family situation and it’s getting to where you don’t know if you can take it anymore. Sometimes it might be helpful to talk with someone you feel can be trustworthy as a way to relieve some tension. .
        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you during this difficult time.
        It sounds like you are working on a plan to leave. If you would like to go over that plan and or explore options we can best help by phone or chat. We offer a free and safe space to talk more in detail about your situation.
        You did a job reaching out today. Let us know how we might help specifically.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,
        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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