Girlfriend wants to leave her verbally abusive home.

[GirlFriendInNeed]

My girlfriend is constantly being verbally abused by her parents and wants to leave her home to stay with me and my parents.
She's 17 and I'm almost 18 and her birthday is in June.
She wants to leave because her dad is always yelling, cursing, and just all around verbally abusing her to the degree that she calls me and just cries the entire time.
I don't want to see her being hurt anymore and I want her safe.
We've been thinking about her coming to live with me and my parents but her parents would never consent to that, or anything really.
Please help me to learn more so I can help her...
She wants out.
I might add that there is no physical proof of the abuse but I have actually heard him doing it to her.
We live in Georgia.
Please...

[ccsmod8]

RE: Girlfriend wants to leave her verbally abusive home.

Hello-

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear that your girlfriend is going through such a difficult time at home. No one deserves to be abused verbally and emotional. You seem to care about her very much, and want to help her in any way you can. If she feels comfortable with doing so, she always has the right to report any type of abuse to her local police or child protective service in her city and state. If she ever felt in danger for her life, she can always call out to the police to come and check up on the situation.

You mentioned that her parents would not give her consent to live with you and your parents. Since your girlfriend is 17years old, if your girlfriend were to run away from home to go live with you before she turns 18, her parents could file a runaway report and ask the police to bring her back home. They would pick her up and make her go back to live with her parents. It is also important to know that your parents could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if her parents decide to press charges against her. Once she turns 18 she will be able to live wherever she wants and her parents cannot do anything about it.

To get information from a legal expert you could contact a legal aid office for the state of Georgia. Georgia Legal Services Program could be a good place to try, you can contact them at 404-206-5175. You could also try Pro Bono Project- State Bar of Georgia at 404-527-8762.

We urge your girlfriend to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7 confidential hot-line and can provide her support by helping her come up with ideas on how to deal with her current situation. If she is not comfortable talking on the phone, she could also talk to us through our online chat. Out chat is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) and is available Monday through Sunday from 4:30 pm – 11:30 pm CST.

We wish you both the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

[Guest]

My girlfriend is 17, and i know this seems wrong to some people but, i am 20 we love eachother and have been together for over a year her mom is very verbally abusive and as of saturday june 16 her mom made the first attempt at physically abusing her. We have filed a cps report and my mom is wanting her to come stay with us she has filed for emergency custody and we are waiting on a response. My question is what kind of reprocusions could there be if she were staying with us untill emergency custody is granted? Also her parents are living out of a tent moving campground to campground and her mom has held her out of school since she was a freshman.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out and reporting what you believe to be an unsafe situation. We don't believe abuse is ever justified, and we're glad your girlfriend has a source of support like you and your mother during this difficult time. We are not legal experts, however, so we can't exactly answer your question with 100% certainty. From our experience, there are charges for harboring a runaway, which is what you and your mother would technically be doing in taking her in before CPS grants a decision. However, we don't hear about those charges being filed too often because parents have to pay for the court fees associated with bringing those charges to trial, and because police may also take into account whether a youth was safer outside of the home when they were a runaway. You can discuss the penalties for such charges with your local non-emergency police department in an anonymous way.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m an emancipated 17 year old in California who has a one bedroom apartment. My 18th birthday is in September. My girlfriend’s 18th birthday was in April. I’d like her to live with me but her parents are abusive in every way possible. I know that she is able to live with me whether her mom likes it or not. So that is exactly what I intend to do. My girlfriend and I are both planning on enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. We are currently in the Delayed Entry Program and will not be leaving until March. I want to live together leading up to that point. Her mother uses her age against her claiming that if she moves in with me she will do everything in her power to prove that my girlfriend is “ unfit “ for service. This is very confusing to me. Her family has never supported her through anything but here she is making threats against her future. It’s sickening. I guess I am just looking for feedback or maybe even just another voice. What should I do?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear about the way your girlfriend's family treats her. Abuse is never okay, and she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Since she is 18, she has the right to leave home without their consent as you stated. If they try to prevent her from leaving, she has the right to contact the police. You girlfriend is a legal adult and she has the right to make her own decisions for her future. If you or your girlfriend have any questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

[Guest]

I've just turned 15 this year and my gf is thirteen, turning 14 next week, she is in constant abuse verbally and has shown signs of previous physical abuse. She has tried to run away, call social services and even tried to hurt herself to get away from them. We have gotten help for the hurting self solution and gotten her from that, but they constantly abuse her verbally and threaten to kick her out or send her into foster care. I want to help her, but we cannot keep her at our home because she is underage. Idk what to do, but ik I can't let her suffer like this anymore. I have a hand written list of things they say to her, have done to her, and I've heard them yell at her and try to bribe her from telling me or bribe her to get her to stay while I was talking to her on the phone. They're very evil and twisted people and want her to leave but also stay, want her to stay damaged but complain how she isn't right, and this is due to her not, quote on quote"acting black" They call her an Oreo because of that, and she has called me numerous times in tears. And in most cases after abusing her, they'll take away devices so she can't reach out to me, leaving me in worry and distress. I don't want her to live like this, and I love her too much to keep having to see her like this, what can I do, or anyone do.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks again for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can be very difficult to have to hear so much from your girlfriend. It can be hard but we commend you for reaching out and seeking help.
From gathering what you have told us about the situation it seems that your girlfriend has been through a lot and still goes through verbal abuse at home. Some options she has are again to report this situation to the police. Though they might not have believed her the first time. A second time would probably cause concern for her safety. She has the right to feel safe and secure and if that is not happening she has 100% reason to let someone know. It’s good that you want to be there for her, and have taken an approach to help her out as best you can. She needs a support group and you can definitely help with listening to her. Some other options she might have are to give the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453). They would be able to provide services catered to her needs at the moment and help her take some steps in the right direction. Another option is to perhaps have her contact us here at NRS either on the call line or our chat option online. From there we would be able to listen to her story and see if she wants to take any steps from there. Again no one deserves to be put down or physically hurt in any manner. If she has experienced any of this, her right is to report what has been done to her.
Again thanks for reaching out on behalf of your girlfriend. Know that she isn’t alone and that there are people willing to help and listen at any moment. Should you or your girlfriend have any questions or concerns you can contact us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org) on our chat option. We are here 24/7 and are confidential as long as she remains anonymous. We hope that you can find a solution to your current situation.
Best Wishes-NRS

[Guest]

Hey, my girlfriend is in an abusive family who tends to not treat her as if she’s human. I have spoken with her about the many bad things she has gone through due to her mother’s boyfriend. I want to do something about it but I just don’t know what to do. She’s in pain and I can’t see her like that because I love her so much. I need help with this please.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS feels we can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I’m a fifteen year old girl who is in a long distance relationship with another fifteen year old girl. She lives in an abusive home with her siblings, mother, grandparents, aunt, and cousin. Her mother is extremely physically and mentally abusive to her and her siblings. Help lines don’t work and she’s already been in and out of foster care. Her dad doesn’t care about her at all. What can I do even if I’m 3 states away?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there!
Thanks for reaching out to NRS! Your girlfriend does not deserve the treatment she is receiving. She is really lucky to have you there for her. I know you said hotlines have previously not worked, but you can always try Child Help. It is an organization that deals with abuse. Their number is 800-422-4453 or you can go to childhelp.org to make a report. If you fear for her safety you can always reach out to 911 as well.
Again thanks for reaching out on behalf of your girlfriend. Know that she isn’t alone and that there are people willing to help and listen at any moment. Should you or your girlfriend have any questions or concerns you can contact us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at (www.1800runaway.org) on our chat option. We are here 24/7 and are confidential as long as she remains anonymous. We hope that you can find a solution to your current situation.
NRS

[Guest]

My girlfriend does not live in a household where her guardians provide for her. She is 15 years old and does all the cleaning, while the adults and her older brother sit around and do nothing. They urge her get a job but they themselves are jobless. They sometimes don’t even let her eat, and she can’t even get a well rested sleep, getting (at most) 5 hours of sleep or and most of the the time it’s less. Her apartment is full of 10 people, and she takes care of all the kids. Additionally, since her mother wishes for her to work and pay bills, she must get her birth certificate and social security, which is with her father who has physically abused her. She can barely relax in her own home. I can’t even help her as we’re in a long distance relationship.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like your girlfriend has been through a lot. It is never right for people (like your girlfriend’s parents) to physically abuse or neglect someone. It is great that you are supportive of your girlfriend. It sounds like you are troubled that you can’t help your girlfriend more because you are far away. It is important to recognize that being a positive person in her life is already a big help.

Ultimately it sounds like the challenges she is facing come from her family. You cannot control her family’s actions, and you are already doing a lot by supporting her. It is also good to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. Helping someone else can take a lot of work, so it is important that you also make sure you are feeling supported too. We aren’t legal experts, but in general, there are ways to get new copies of birth certificates and social security cards. We encourage you to have her reach out to us at our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY) to get connected to legal help. She can also reach out to us to get help with ideas on how to improve her situation at home. We can talk with her about things like setting boundaries and having a mediated conversation with her parents.

Your girlfriend also has the right to file an abuse report with. She can get more information about abuse reporting by going to www.childhelp.org. We can also help her file a report if this is a route she's interested in taking. She can reach out on our hotline or by chat. Again, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you are being supportive of your girlfriend in a difficult time for her. Feel free to contact us anytime, we are here 24/7.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Me and my girlfriend are both 13, she is an situation where her friends are trying to Kill themselves and she trying to stop it, she’s also dealing with an abusive household and she lives with her grandparents and they have been arguing,She wants to leave but she can’t because she’s afraid her family is going to hate her, I told her to Come to my house if it gets so bad there is an there is physical fighting. I don’t know if she can legally stay with me, but I feel like it would be helpful, what else should I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are trying to help your girlfriend with a tough situation, and we’re glad you contacted us for support.
Your girlfriend does not deserve to be hurt in any way. If she is at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you or her to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org) is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
You may also find it useful to forward your girlfriend the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is 1-800-273-8255. They can be reached at any time and can help people feeling suicidal through moments of extreme darkness.
You also asked about the legality of harboring your girlfriend if she were to run. It is illegal to harbor any runaway minor. But if you want to help her find a safe place to stay, we can help you with that. Call us at any time and we can talk through options including runaway shelters.
We hope this helps. Stay safe and strong out there.
Sincerely,
NRS