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  • #46
    I don’t enjoy living with my father because we live so far away from school and he says that HE is the authority and HE makes my decisions. He says that my grandmother and mother ‘brainwashed’ me into not wanting him as a father, which I do not. I just want to live with my grandmother because she is seen more of a parent than my dad does. Im currently 14 years old, is there anything that I can do to live with my grandmother?

    Comment


    • #47
      I don’t enjoy living with my father

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are not legal experts. You might consider speaking with your grandmother about getting together with your father about bringing you to live with her. Other options might include getting legal representation.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Take care,
      NRS

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #48
        Hi I know that my problem isn’t as bad as most but I have wanted to move out of my dad’s since before I can remember. My older brother moved out when I was 12 I’m now 15 about to be 16 and when I’m at my dad’s I feel worthless. I can’t do anything the way my dad or stepmom tell me to do them. My dad is never home when I am because he works at night. When I rolled him I wanted to live at my mom’s he made me fill like I was killing him that if I leave that he will never forgive me. Like I love my dad it’s just I’m not emotionally stable to live at his house anymore

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe, NRS

      • #49
        Hi im 16 and ive been living with my dad and stepmom for about four years now. At first it was all fine until about my second or third year living with them. Honestly my stepmom just sends me to do everything and anything in the house and my dad does them same but also puts everyone amd amyone first and it seems im always the ladt person he thinks about. He tells me he loves me this that and the third, but honestly his actions dont show it. Its very stressful living with them cause im always stuck inside the house doing everything. I need free time amd time to myself and ive tried talkin to him about it but he never listens. Anpther thing is, is that when me and him argue he always ends up mentioning my mother. mind you at the age of about 12 or 13 she kicked me out the house and moved with my brothers and nowni hace a sister as well. Anyway he knows that, that affects me a whole lot but it seems that he doesnt care cause he still mentions her. I have no one else either on my family i can rely on cause they dont look for me. I honestly dont know what to do i have friends telling me i can move with them but since im a minor i know i can not without parent concent.

        Is there aththing im able to do to fix this situation?

        Comment


        • #50

          Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to listen, we’re here to help!

          It sounds like you’re feeling uncomfortable at home, which is difficult for you, and also confusing, because things have changed over time as you’ve gotten older. It is also difficult when you feel like you are expected to do so much work at home, and that your dad doesn’t seem to listen to you and says hurtful things about your mom when he is angry with you.

          Sometimes situations like this can improve with communication and understanding. It sounds like you have tried to communicate with your dad, but maybe he has not understood you. Sometimes it takes time, and more than one conversation. One option (if you’re open to it) would be talking to a counselor or therapist to help bridge communication. You didn’t mention if you’ve talked with a counselor or therapist, but it could be a counselor at school or through a faith community (if you’re part of one), or with a traditional therapist. Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we offer referrals for counseling/therapy and other supportive services as well as conference calling to help you and your dad talk in a mediated call. If you think that could be helpful, you can set a call up anytime by calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

          We’re sorry to hear that your dad says hurtful things to you when he’s angry. Sometimes people say mean things when they are angry, and sometimes they regret them later. One possibility is he doesn’t know how much he is hurting you, and communication can also help him to understand that. Either way, you don’t deserve the hurtful things he has said to you.
          As a minor, you typically would need parental consent, or a court order, to live with someone other than your parents. Although it can sometimes be an appealing thought to live with someone else, your comment also seems to say that your dad wouldn’t consent to letting you live with someone else, so that sounds like it could be a barrier.

          Although it seems that you are frustrated with your current situation at home, you also mentioned that your dad says he loves you even if his actions don’t show it. We’d be happy to continue discussing your situation and hopefully come up with some options including ways to cope, we encourage you to reach out to us directly for a one-on-one conversation. Here is a link to our Live Chat https://m2.icarol.com/ConsumerRegist...d=254&cc=en-US if you are more comfortable talking online. We hope this helps and wish you the best of luck!

          -NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #51
            My dad has anger issues and is bipolar he use to abuse my mom and they got divorce so now I am forced to go back and forth. My dad verbally abuses me and my brother and there was a time where my dad had physically choked my brother just because he dropped his water bottle and it spilled everywhere...we were outside so it didn't matter. He mostly verbally abuses me. He calls me mental and says that I have issues and is rasist. He says I get my issues from my mom when my mom has nothing wrong with her. I love my mom more than anything. Sometimes I wish my father was dead and I could live with my mom and step dad. I wouldn't even feel the tiniest bit sad if he died. He deserves it for all the pain he has caused my mom and brother and i. My sister died when I was eleven and my whole life just went downhill from there. My father didnt shed one tear when she died. It's like he didn't care that she was dead. He didn't want to be responsible for taking care of her because she was disable and special needs. I loved her so much and am happy she is not around to deal with him anymore. He gets in my face as well as my brothers. He gets so close is like we're kissing and he just screams and spits in our face when he is angry. He takes little things and turns them into these humongous problems. There was a time where I just wished he would get into a accident. He smokes weed illegally around the house knowing my brother has asthma. He has 4 women he is talking to. He is married to one that lives with us. Another one that comes over and sleeps with him when he is 50 yrs old and she is in her 20s. Another woman in africa we are going to be forced to meet soon and another one that I saw on his phone he was talking to. I don't know what to do. I have been grounded for 2 years because my dad claims I'm irresponsible and lazy when all I ever do is work. I can't see my friends and I have no connection with the outside world until I go to my mom's. He won't let me have a phone so when I go to his he takes it for the whole week. He walks around the house in his underwear all the time which is inappropriate. He was always in his underwear when I had friends around before I was grounded. Either way I don't know what to do all I can do is cry and be the depressed person I am. My step mom agrees with everything he does too. I want my mom to have full custody of me and my brother. I just don't know how I could do that without it costing money.

            Comment


            • ccsmod8
              ccsmod8 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello there –

              Thanks for reaching out to us here on our public forum. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, as well as tell your story. So we thank you for that as well. It certainly sounds like you have been going through a very different time going back and forth between your mother and your father, but seems like all the issues are focused on your father. From your story here, it sounds like your father has always been a really abusive and angry person even when he was married to your mother. It’s really frustrating when that behavior continues on and you are being forced to be around in constantly. It’s not really fair to you at all. If your mother and father are sharing custody through the court, it might be difficult for you just not to go over to his house. That would make it seem like your mother is keeping you from him and violating their court agreement. If your mother still has contact with her lawyer still, it might be helpful to take about getting full custody over you in order for you not to go over there anymore. You have stated that you were trying not to spend a lot of money and to be honest we aren’t legal experts at all so we can’t speak to how much money it would be to go to court and fight to full rights. That might be the only way to get out of going there legally at least.

              It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse.

              Hope to hear from you so that we can talk more!

          • #52
            Hey. I feel like I am totally worthless and that I don't belong here. I have been feeling this way ever since my mom died and passed away while I was young. I hate where I live now my grandparents are always hitting me and embarrassing me and making me feel like crap. I had to fight back sometimes to make myself feel safe because they make me scared. I wanna live with my father and his wife but I don't think they would allow me to live with them. I wanna get out of this family as soon as possible I hate it here and feel like I wanna die.

            Comment


            • ccsmod13
              ccsmod13 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Emotional and physical abuse does get overwhelming and it can be tough to cope with on your own. Abuse of any kind is never okay and not your fault.

              It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well.

              There is an organization called Child Help which advocates for young people in abusive and unsafe situations at home. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or childhelp.org to talk more about your options.

              Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You can reach out 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org to talk more about your situation and explore your options.

              Stay safe,
              NRS

          • #53
            I do not want to live with my father anymore he emotionally abuses me, he has threatened to beat me to death and he has backed me into corners multiple times with his fist balled up, he smokes weed and does other drugs and he drinks, I really don't want to live there anymore

            Comment


            • ccsmod13
              ccsmod13 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              It was very brave of you to reach out to us on our Bulletin and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel safe at home. It is not okay at all for your dad to abuse you and threaten your safety.

              If you do not feel safe, you can call 911 for emergency services. You do always have the option to make a report to child protective services. A social worker would open an investigation. If they find that you are in danger at home, you would be removed from your father's custody. You can contact Child Help to talk with an advocate about the reporting process, 1-800-422-4453 childhelp.org.

              We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

              Stay strong,
              NRS

          • #54
            Im only 14, im very mature for my age because of the things that have happened in my life, my father mentally abuses me and has disobey court orders for awhile now meaning he wouldn't let me see my mom, My mom has taken him to court i don't know what date it's gonna be because of this whole virus but i can't take living here anymore he treats me so different compared to how he treats his fiance's kids i feel like i don't matter to him and he's messed me up mentally extremely bad, i would be so much happier with my mom but im scared she's not gonna win the case because he has a better chance than her because of money situations and that's it i believe i've thought about running away to my moms house but i don't want to end up back here because i will get grounded and im scared of my father. He doesnt ever let me do anything whatsoever and for a kid my age it isn't healthy for me to be inside so much and not being social with anyone he wont even let me see my own family just because he doesn't like them, i need to get out of this house so i can be happy again.

            Comment


            • ccsmod16
              ccsmod16 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello there –

              Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are here for you through these tough times we are facing, and are happy to answer any questions you may have regarding runaway or homeless youth.

              I understand that you are 14 years old, and in most states the age of majority is 18 years old. This means that someone under 18 is the responsibility of their parent or guardian. If you were to move out of your father's house without his permission he could possibly file a runaway report. This is a report filed with your local police office that would allow the police to return you to your father’s custody if you were to come in contact with them. We are not legal experts here at NRS but we would like to make you aware of possible outcomes.

              You may want to consider talking with your father to arrange an alternate housing agreement at your mother's house. This means that your father would give his permission for you to live with a family member or a friend for the time being. This is something your father would have to agree to if you are underage.

              I understand that you are worried about the abuse you feel from your father, as well as the court proceedings being pushed back. Unfortunately we are not legal experts and are uncertain as to when courts will be reopened due to COVID-19. If you feel that your situation would be better handled by an authority figure, you can contact your local Child Services Department and file an abuse or neglect form with them. We would be happy to walk you through the process over the phone. We understand this is a big decision to make and would be happy to give you alternative options or explain the process in detail.

              If you would like more information regarding your situation we urge you to reach out to us on our 24/7 toll-free number at 1(800)-RUNAWAY. We can give you case specific information as well as resources to help you navigate this decision.

              Thank you again for reaching out and stay safe!"

          • #55
            I’m 13 and I live with my Father and Step-Mom but visit my mom for 2 weekends a month. My step mom I feel is harsh on me. I’ve lived with here 5 years and always didn’t like her and I’m to scared to talk to her and my dad anytime I try to say something he try’s to say only good things about her.

            They argue sometimes but I don’t know how much because I don’t like to be out with them and my half siblings I get scared that there gonna demand me to do a lot of things or tell about everything I’m doing wrong and just make me sad. When I’m with my biological mom I feel happy because she’s nice to me and someone I can talk to freely unlike my step mom. I just want to go live with my grandma or mom and my dad if my step mom wasn’t there and there’s many other members of my family I’d rather live with. Also I feel like my step mom gets between me and my dad. For example when we actually have a ok time and puts a smile on face she always butts in and takes him to go do something else. And there’s a lot of things that my dad says I can do that my step mom says I can’t. I have hoped for 5 years they would break up but it never happened and now I don’t know how much longer I can deal with her and hold my feelings in. Please help me.

            Comment


            • ccsmod7
              ccsmod7 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello there, Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline.

              It sounds like things are stressful with the relationship between you, your stepmom and your Dad for the past several years. It certainly seems your relationship with your dad is important to you, so this must be a difficult time. Sometimes situations can feel isolating but we are glad you reached out and we want you to know that you are not alone. NRS provides supportive services to adolescents in crisis or who are having problems at home. Sometimes having someone to talk with helps bring a solution not previously thought of. We understand it can be scary to have difficult conversations with parent but we are available to facilitate a conference call between you and your Dad or stepmom. Often difficult situations can be improved by talking things out and we are here to support you with your feelings.

              If you decided you would like to talk further, our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) but we are also available by chat at www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We’re here to listen and help, and hope you can reach out soon. Stay strong, NRS
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