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I don't want to live with my father anymore

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  • #31
    Reply: I currently am in a custody case with my mom...

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    From everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation.
    It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being that you ae caught between your parents in a custody battle. We understand how upsetting it must be for you. It sounds like you just want to return to your mother and grandmother and put this all behind. We’re sorry you’re going through this.
    You’ve expressed yourself very well today. Good for you.

    Perhaps you might consider talking with your mother about speaking with her attorney about what your role might be when the court ate comes up. Sometimes children are allowed to be heard and express their feelings to the court. Maybe you would consider writing a letter if you are too nervous about speaking in front of the court.

    You are welcome to contact NRS if you would like to talk more about your situation and explore some options.
    Contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org

    You did a great job reaching out tonight.
    We look forward to hearing from you.

    Take care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #32
      Hi thank you soooooo much for replying ot means so much to know someone is listen i just feel so emotional drained with this situation there was a time where i prayed to god to be with my dad i would ask my mom why he didn't want to be with me and now im pleading with god to please let me go home with my mom and grandma i feel trapped like im screaming in the inside and no can hear but i don't if the court will care how i feel i just need help and hope. Thank you.

      Comment


      • #33
        Im 11 and My father also calls me a retard and makes me feel worthless, Im 11 remember and I realy want to live with my friend im to scared to tell me dad!!! can u help?

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. We are sorry you are experiencing abuse, no one ever deserves to go through that. You do have the right to report the abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can either do it yourself or call into us directly and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.

          It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents and express your feelings about how you are feeling. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs of to your parents.

          If you decide that you need to leave with out your dad’s permission it would be considered running away. We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.

          We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.


          -NRS

      • #34
        I don’t want to live with my dad anymore

        Comment


        • ccsmod8
          ccsmod8 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there -

          Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. Because we do get a large number of online contacts, we do have to limit replies to answer any questions that you have or to provide you with a number of means of support. So it’s certainly not a means to communicate to get the full support that you can get if you called in or chatted with us. We are mainly here for support and help find some guidance to local resources that might be able to help a youth through their particular situation and we aren’t here to tell you what to do because you know your situation a lot better than we do. We just want you to know your options and with whatever you choose that you’re safe and not on the streets.

          It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. Be sure to take a look at our public forum and read through some of these post because there might be already a post that answers any questions that you might have. We certainly want to help you in any way that we can. We would love to talk to you if you have't already found the answer you're looking for.

          Best of luck!

      • #35
        My mom is trying to get me on a plane to move with my dad what can I do if I don’t want to go

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation. If you call in to 1-800-RUNAWAY we could can discuss more in detail how we can best support you through this situation. Stay strong! You are not alone in this and we are here 24/7.
          -NRS

      • #36
        i don’t want to stay with my dad because he won’t let me have a life and it makes my want to cry i literally can’t do anything at his house. i can’t use the microwave i can’t talk on the phone i can’t even go get a snack when i’m hungry. mind you in 14 years old!!! like wtf. i have a mom and i want to permanently live with her

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there! Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a tough situation with your dad. You are always welcome and encouraged to reach out to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY so we can talk over the options we have talked about or if you want to explore outside of those. We’re here 24/7 so do not hesitate to give us a call.
          First and foremost, you deserve to feel loved and welcomed in your own home. It’s normal to feel so upset about your situation. You have a right to feel happy about your living situation and have a voice in it. Since you are 14, you would need your dad’s permission to live with your mom. If you called our hotline number, 1800-786-2929, we could do a conference call with your dad and maybe talk things over if you wanted. We are always here to help talk through whatever you are thinking about doing. Your safety and wellbeing are our priority and we can always brainstorm your plans.
          Again, we are really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1800-runaway or chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We are here to listen, here to help.
          Best, NRS

      • #37
        I hate my dad he is a total asshole

        My parents are split up but they are not devorced I mostly live with my mom but I have to stay with him on the weekend. I really want to live with my grandparents on Mom's side. They have always taken better Care of me than my parents. They used to live in my state and I stayed with them on my dad's days but now they have moved 20 hours away from me so I have to stay with my dad. When I was little I thought my grandpa was my dad because he always took care of me and I always stayed with them and my dad never took care of me. My dad is always telling me I can't do anything right and I am good for nothing. When I try to talk to my mom about it she always says he is still your dad and he loves you but I know he doesn't and the only reason he keeps me is so he doesn't have to pay child support. And when I talked to my dad he said I am not allowed to choose where I live until I am 18 but I am only 14. And I have thought about running away or committing suicide the only reason I have not already done so is because I love my grandparents on my mom's side. My grandmother on my dad's side is just like him she is a bich and I hate her. And my dad is always takeing my stuff away and giving it to my brother. He and his mom treat my brother like the center of the universe and me like crap. Is there any way I can live with my grandparents on my mom's side

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for writing in, we appreciate you reaching out. It sounds like you feel unloved, depressed and mistreated at home. We are sorry things are so difficult.
          Suicidal thoughts can be scary, but you don’t have to think about and deal with them alone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great resource and can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. As far as your living concerns, most states require you to be 18 before you can leave home. If you were to run away from home, your parents could file a runaway report. If the police find you, they would bring you home, but you would not be charged with a crime. Whoever you were staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. We hope this information is helpful to you. If you have further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via our chat.

      • #38
        My parents are separated but they are not devorced. I am sposed to live with my mom during the week and my dad during the weekend. My grandma and grandpa on my mother's side were the only ones I cared about and the only ones who cared about me. But now they moved 20 hours away from me. I used to stay with them on my dad's days because he is a **** and I hate him. And they were the only ones who stopped me from killing myself or running away. But now that they are gone the next time I go to my dad's house I will kill myself
        Last edited by ccsmod15; 11-03-2018, 12:48 PM. Reason: cuss word

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you very much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are feeling trapped in your situation. Your grandparents seem to be a huge comfort for you and you seem to value your relationship with them. It must be very exhausting to think about killing yourself, and we thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like your relationship with your dad is far from ideal at the moment, and it seems like you are doing the best you can.

          It is very commendable that you reached out for some support. You mentioned some thoughts of self-harm and your safety is the most important thing to us and your life is valuable. We would encourage you to call us if you ever feel unsafe or to reach out to the National Suicide Hotline at 1800 273 8255. I’m left wondering-have you spoken to your father about how you feel about your relationship? Or spoken to your mom or another entrusted adult such as your grandparents? You deserve to feel heard and safe in your home, so I’m just wondering if speaking about your home life could be helpful. Please do not hesitate to shoot us a call at 1800 RUNAWAY if you would like to further discuss what has been going on. We are here to listen and here to help.

      • #39
        My mom and dad divorced when I was in 1st grade. in fourth grade, she married my new stepdad. Sometimes I skip school because of pe. I am really self-conscious so I just skip it...my mom says if I keep doing it I'm gonna have to live with my dad and she will be really sad...not even 20 mins ago I asked my grandma to take me to the store and my stepdad walked up and said I don't deserve 'special treatment' so I ran in my room and cried for a while..this is not the first time he has made me feel sad or worthless. It usually happens when my mom is at work...I want to live with my dad so I'm away from him. But I also want to live with my mom. I don't want to tell her because then they might divorce and she will be sad and we will be homeless since we are so poor without him.....

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you are dealing with something very difficult at the moment. It must be very hard to have your stepdad talk to you the way he does and make you cry, feel sad, and feel worthless. It is not right for anyone to treat you that way and that is not something you deserve. It seems like you are conflicting with wanting to stay with your mother or going to stay with your father. This may be something you all can talk about all together. Just so you know, we offer a conference call resource for you to be able to use if you would like to have a conference call with both of your parents, communicate what is going on and possibly come up with the best decision for you. Not sure if your mother is aware of how your step dad treats you, or any adult for that matter, but it may be beneficial to tell an adult you trust. You deserve to be supported and taken care of. We would love to talk to you further here at NRS. Feel free to give is a call at any time at 1800-RUNWAY or chat with us live by visiting our 1800runaway.org website. We hope to hear from you soon.

      • #40
        Originally posted by Guest View Post
        my dad makes everyone feel like there useless and nothing . he’s always yelling he never actually has a conversation with you he just tell you to do something. He’s always making me cry he will pull my hair and scream in my face he always wants to see me sad he doesn’t care about anyone but himself he hasn’t been to work in months so it’s been tough on my mom she’s been working hard to support are family and i love my mom but i know she gets upset with me when i stick up for my self when my dad is yelling at me. When no ones around he will say these nasty things to me and tell me to do something and one time i was busy when he asked me to do something so he pushed me to the ground yelling at me telling me he’s the boss and i will do what he says . he doesn’t care what anyone has to stay i don’t think he’s ever going back to work because he hurt his back in a accident but i think it’s a whole bunch of bull ******** now . I know when i grow up go to college and get a job he will be out of my life and when i get married he won’t be invited. i know this sounds wrong but i hate my father he’s the rudest person i have ever met and he just changes the story on me to my mom to make him sound better so i always get yelled at. he doesn’t care how i feel he even makes me feel like i be better of dead then being here. i don’t know what to do anymore i just need someone to talk to but no one will listen i feel like i’m dying inside and everything sucks . i just need advice how do i deal with him intill i can leave i’m only 16
        I’m going through the exact same thing my I live with my dad along with my twin sister and my two younger siblings I’m tired of him telling me to be invisible. I’m the black sheep of the family he treats me like I’m less then a grain of sand it’s so belittling I often think I’d be better if dead. He only is nice to me when he needs money he’s taken a total of $16,453 from me I was forced into paying the cable at our house and my dads girlfriends house and when I told him I was gonna stop paying it he said he would kick me out. He pulled me out of school and drivers Ed to live with his girlfriend and her 5 kids and never put me back in school. I got a job at Dunkin’ Donuts and worked there for a year and a half and when I quit he kicked me out cause I had no use to him since I couldn’t give him or his girlfriend money. The only person he cares about is my little brother he treats him like royalty and it really hurts the rest of us. I’m tired of this bull********. I’m tired of mind games and being mentally and emotionally abused

        Comment


        • #41
          Reply: I’m going through the exact same thing...

          Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services. 1-800Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

          Take care,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #42
            i dont like my dad, he gets mad really easily and when he gets mad at me he grabs my arm or my leg and squeezes it when he ts talking to me and then i start crying. I dont know if its abuse or not, but i dont want to be around him anymore but the problem is im only 17 so i cant go anywhere. I want to talk to him about how how i feel about him but im scared to talk to him about it. Ive always been afraid of my dad ever since he started getting mad more easily . He use to be chill and calm but he cant control his anger so he takes it out on me. Ive talked to some of my friends about this but i cant be around him anymore, he has mentally hurt me and physcially. My mom knows about this but she hasent done anything about it and i cant not doing anything about this.I dont know who else to talk to about this. I cant take this anymore.

            Comment


            • ccsmod6
              ccsmod6 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation but we are here to help and you don't have to go through this alone. What your dad is doing is not ok. It is clearly harming you not just physically, but emotionally as well. You do not deserve to be treated that way. Talking to him is one option, and it can definitely help to have a third party present for that conversation whether it be a counselor or someone you trust. We even have a conference call service and we would be able to advocate for you and set rules for the conversation. If you're interested all you need to do is give us a call. We are also always here to talk and can refer counseling and other resources. It sounds like what your dad is doing could qualify as abuse. If you want, reporting abuse is an option. You can do this with us or through the National Child Abuse Hotline whose number is (800)422-4453. Thank you for reaching out. We are always here to talk over the phone and you can also reach us through chat. We are always happy to discuss other options and resources with you.
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