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  • I don't want to live with my father anymore

    I'm upset at home. My father is a complete asshole and sometimes makes me cry because he emotionally abuses me. My stepmom doesn't do anything about. The only people I want to live with is my grandmother because she's like a second mother to me since my biological mother passed away since I was 3. I don't want to live at home but I'm only 17. Is there any way to live with my grandmother or someone else? Because my father has parental rights but he doesn't even take good care of. My family members just say "oh he's stressing out" or "oh but you know he loves you deep down inside". But I know he doesn't. About two years ago, I had a small argument with my stepmother and I told how upset I was. He just got mad, told me to shut up, and go to sleep. The was the last time I told how I felt because I know he won't give two ********s. I can't handle living here anymore.

  • #2
    RE: I don't want to live with my father anymore

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been through a lot and we are sorry to hear about this. We’re here to help as much as we can.

    You shared that you have been having a lot of difficulty living with your dad, because you feel like he does not care about you or your feelings. It sounds like you had tried to communicate with him about this but he just disregarded it, which has to be extremely frustrating. You disclosed that your mother died when you were 3 years old which had to have been so hard to go through, and understandably is still hard. It sounds like your grandma offers you a lot of support which is really good to hear, especially with all of these other things going on.

    Unfortunately we are not legal experts, so we really cannot say for sure what would or would not happen if you went to live with your grandma. If you think that it’s possible to get consent from your legal guardian, which it sounds like is dad, then there would be no issue. If you are not able to get consent, however, your legal guardian would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they would likely just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring a runaway.

    The way that 17 year old runaways differs by state, even by county in some cases so we would encourage you to reach out to your local law enforcement and just ask hypothetically how they would handle this. If you would like help doing this, you can call us any time and we can either make that call for you or with you.

    Please do not hesitate to call us if you would like to talk more. We also have chat available in evening hours. We’re here to support you.

    Best of luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      i dont to live with my dad

      I'm upset at home. My father is a complete a-hole and sometimes makes me cry because he emotional abuses me and hits me a lot but does not bruise me so no one will see. The only people I want to live with is my grandmother or sister because there like a second mother to me since my biological mother passed away when I was 11. I don't want to live at home but I'm only 14. Is there any way to live with my grandmother or someone else at 14? Because my father has parental rights but he doesn't even take good care of me. And one think that might help but I don’t know. But before my mom died we had just went to court and my mom got custody of me. My family members just say wait and stuff will change but things aren't. About two weeks ago, my dad was drunk and him and I got in an argument over hamburger bun and he hit me and broke my glasses so I hit him back and ran away to a friend’s house, and called my sister and grandma and we didn’t want me to have to go to a foster home so we did not tell authority's. I can't handle living here anymore. Most the time he makes me so angry I want to kill myself so I don’t have to live with him. I really can’t live here anymore.
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-03-2016, 03:38 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Reply: Don’t want to live with my dad

        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

        We are sorry to hear that things at home have not been good for you.
        We understand that you have become so frustrated that at times you might have thought about suicide. Your life matters and we are glad you decided to reach out to NRS.
        It sounds like you grandmother is someone you would like to live with.
        Perhaps exploring the option to live with her might be something to consider.
        When abuse is reported and a decision to remove a child from the home has been made there may be consideration to place the child with a willing and able relative.

        It sounds like you have been going through a lot with the passing of your mother and your father’s abusive behavior. That’s a lot and you don’t deserve to be abused.
        Let us know how we might be of help to you.

        You can give us a call at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) to talk about running away or to talk about some other options in coping with your situation.
        NRS is also available to live chat at www.1800Runaway.org

        We look forward to speaking with you.

        Take Care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          My parents are divorced an have 50-50 with my sister an I, I don't like living with my father because he is been such a jerk lately. He is forcing me to move schools when I'm absolutely against it. I tried to talk to him face to face but he always snaps an makes me cry. At home he always yells at me an makes me feel worthless. But my mother an step dad live right next to the school I would love to stay , they are the nicest an kind parents I have ever met . is there a way I can get away from my father an live with my step dad an mom?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I don't want to live with my father anymore

            Hello and thanks for reaching out on our forum. We’re sorry to hear you don’t like living with your father. We recognize how difficult moving schools and yelling with parents can be. It sounds like your father’s behavior is affecting you emotionally and making you feel worthless. You deserve to feel like you do have worth and we’re sorry this isn’t the case staying with your father. We aren’t legal experts; however, your situation sounds like more of a custody case rather than a runaway situation. If your mom does not already have an attorney that might be the next step in determining whether or not she has a chance at obtaining sole physical custody of you and your sister. We’ll be here if you’d like to talk further about your situation including how you might discuss all of this with your mom. Our Live Chat opens today at 1pm CST and we encourage you to give that try. Best of luck!
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I feel like this is my fault

              I decided to move in with my dad and his girlfriend and her kids but I haven't been happy ever since I moved away from my mom the reason i want to move back with my mom is because my dad has a small temper and gets mad at me if I want to try anything new it's basically everything he wants I have to do and I recently saw my mother when I left her i couldn't stop crying and to this day I can't stop crying I am going thru antiexty and I really miss my mom because she is some what sick as of right now and my mom has full custody of me but she lives in Massachusetts and I live in California I need help on what to do I can't handle living without my mom being there with me

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I feel like this is my fault

                Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of personal courage to ask someone for help, and this is a step in the right direction! It’s very normal that you are experiencing these feelings and emotions, and they are completely valid.
                It can be very difficult emotionally when you feel that everything always has to go someone else’s way, that they’re losing their temper with you, and that nothing ever gets to go your way. Along with the fact you’re so far from your mom and that she’s some what sick right now, it’s very understandable that you miss her the way you do.
                Have you tried talking to your dad and mom about this? Many times, parents can be more open to listening to you and working towards a solution that we might think. If you aren’t comfortable talking to them on your own, you could ask a friend/teacher/coach/someone else you trust to talk to them with you. If you call us, we can even act as that person, helping you and your parents talk through this together.
                We’re also here for you to talk to anytime you want, 24/7. All of our calls our confidential. We can be someone for you to vent to, someone to just listen to you, and we can even help you find resources in your area that may help.
                Most importantly, we want you to know we’re always here, ready to listen and ready to help. You may call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’d love to hear from you.
                Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi, I live in the U.K. and I have had divorced parents since the age of 6. My dad has been emotionally and verbally abusive to both my mother and myself. I feel like going to my dads provides no benefits for me. I have no family here apart from my mum and step dad, and I stay there all weekdays going to my dads at the weekends. Lately he went back home and committed fraud and talked a load of rubbish about me to our family. I don't think I can bear to look at him after what he has done and what he will do in the future. I don't want to go there anymore but I don't know what to do. I struggle with anxiety and depression so speaking about these things are unbearably hard.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod1
                    ccsmod1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. We are sorry to hear that you are emotionally abused by your father; you do not deserve to be abused in any way. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
                    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

                • #10
                  I live with my dad and my stepmom, i seem to love my father as much as i once did. I feel like im cinderella without the stepsisters he and my stepmom give me all the work to do around the house while they watch tv. I don't feel comfortable and accepted as i should feel. I want to live with my mother but that isnt working out very well. What should i do?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    It seems that you’re in a tough situation and we’re glad you reached out to us. It sounds like you don’t feel comfortable at home, and that your dad and stepmom give you lots of housework to do, and that you’d like to live with your mom instead.

                    We know this can be difficult to deal with, and while we can’t tell you what to do, we are here to listen and to help. If you are a minor (which is under the age of 18 in most states), and you decide to leave home without permission, your guardian could file a runaway report. Without knowing some of the information such as you age, who has custody of you (dad or mom or both), and why you aren’t living with your mom now, it’s hard to provide any specifics.

                    However, one option is to try talking to your dad and stepmom to tell them how you are feeling and see if perhaps they are willing to talk about compromising with you on some things at home.

                    You can also give us a call any time so that we can learn more and try to help. We are here 24/7, and the phone number is 1-800-786-2929.

                    -NRS

                • #11
                  Hi im 14 and my biological parents live in Texas and i dont want to live with my stepdad anymore what do i do to tell him i want to go to my biological pents and live there please help i dont know what to do and sometimes because of it i have thought about suicide and he snaps and yells at me about me living with my biological parents

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod6
                    ccsmod6 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you for contacting NRS. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it seems tough. Although we are not legal experts, but we do know that you only can live with your legal guardian. If your stepdad is the only legal guardian, you can file for emancipation, or have your biological parents request to have legal guardianship over you. Have you talked to your biological parents about those options? We would be happy to support and help you. If you're ever feeling suicidal you can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Please feel free to contact us on 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us on 1800runaway.org we are open 24/7

                • #12
                  i don't want to live in a home with my father. my mom and dad are still married but they argue a lot. it seems like out of all three kids he only yells at me. tonight he came into my room and accused one of my friends to be holding drugs in a picture that was on my wall (it was a hair tie) when i got mad at him he yelled at me to "quit my attitude" and then stormed out. a few moments later i was in the kitchen and got mad at him for saying that. he then proceeded to scream at me and call me a ********** and told me to get the ******** out of his house. when my mom came into the kitchen and saw me crying she asked what happened and he proceeded to yell at her and tell her she can't "leave with me too". i want to leave and i have friends that say i'm more than welcome to stay with them. i just don't know what to do. i love my mom and my brothers and i don't want to leave them but my dad is so awful.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod2
                    ccsmod2 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are very sorry to hear that you are having issues with your father. You don’t deserve to be treated that way and it is understandable that you would like to get out of that situation. You could try telling your mother how your father makes you feel. Here at NRS, we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. You could also ask your mother if she would allow you to stay with another family member or friend. If you are under 18, and you decide to leave home without your parent’s consent, they could file a runaway report on you. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Running away is not illegal but your friends could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if you went to live with them. If you would to discuss more options or you have any other questions please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email , or live chat.

                • #13
                  that's exactly me man. I feel you so much. I'm 15 and I wanted to run away and do anything else to not be with my Dad. He is a complete douche and I can't handle it anymore, and my stepmom just lets it happen. He ********ed me up and I can't change myself anymore, he broke me and now I want to go with my Mom but I don't know if I need to go to court (since my Dad has custody) or if I can just live with my Mom without going to court.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod11
                    ccsmod11 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there, thanks for reaching out to us. We hope we can help.

                    We are not legal experts, and so we cannot give you any legal information with any degree of certainty. We can let you know that generally, running away from home is considered a status offense, and is not likely to get a youth arrested or detained by the police. Those who harbor runaway youth are also may be criminally responsible for harboring runaway youth. However, this may differ where you live. We suggest calling your non-emergency police number in order to determine what runaway laws look like where you live. You can ask these questions anonymously and hypothetically. Divorce and joint custody may also complicate the legality of your situation.

                    If you ever feel like talking about the emotional problems you are having as a result of your father’s actions, you are certainly welcome to reach out to us 24/7. We can be reached at 1-800-786-2929.

                    Best of luck,
                    -NRS

                • #14
                  Hi im 17 years old and i live with my dad but he always yells at me like im his girlfriend and makes me do all the work around the house. If i dont do what he says he gets angry starts to yell and then sometimes hits me and emotionally abuses me. Hes an alcoholic and all he does is drink and yell. I cant go with my mom because she has drug problems and domestic violence already. I called my local law enforcement but they said i should wait until im 18 to leave. But i dont want to be there no more. Im from OHIO and there arent really any emancipation laws. Please help i dont know what to do. Ive ran away for 6 months already but now i have no where else to go. What should i do?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there and thank you for reaching out. I am so sorry to hear that things at home have been so incredibly difficult. It sounds like your family has been through a lot and you have been at the receiving end of your dad’s drinking and yelling. You do not deserve to be hit or hurt in any way. It is painful to feel that you have no safe place to go.

                    Unfortunately, if your local police say you cannot legally leave home before eighteen, they could bring you home, were your dad to ask them to. If your dad’s alcoholism is leading to neglect or abuse, you do have the option of reporting him. Doing so, would get you in contact with a social service agent in your area. If you are interested in understanding what this would look like, you can contact the Child Help Hotline at 1800 422 4453. You can also call the NRS hotline, at 1800 RUNAWAY, and we could conference call together with you, and support you throughout the process.

                    You must be under a huge amount of stress after having been away for the past sixth months and being left with no place to go. If you have not already, it may be helpful to reach out to friends or family. You can call the NRS hotline if you would like us to look up shelter resources in your area.

                    Again, it is brave of you to reach out for help. Feel free to call us if you would like to further discuss what has been going on or receive support or referrals to resources.

                    Best,

                    NRS

                • #15
                  my dad makes everyone feel like there useless and nothing . he’s always yelling he never actually has a conversation with you he just tell you to do something. He’s always making me cry he will pull my hair and scream in my face he always wants to see me sad he doesn’t care about anyone but himself he hasn’t been to work in months so it’s been tough on my mom she’s been working hard to support are family and i love my mom but i know she gets upset with me when i stick up for my self when my dad is yelling at me. When no ones around he will say these nasty things to me and tell me to do something and one time i was busy when he asked me to do something so he pushed me to the ground yelling at me telling me he’s the boss and i will do what he says . he doesn’t care what anyone has to stay i don’t think he’s ever going back to work because he hurt his back in a accident but i think it’s a whole bunch of bull ******** now . I know when i grow up go to college and get a job he will be out of my life and when i get married he won’t be invited. i know this sounds wrong but i hate my father he’s the rudest person i have ever met and he just changes the story on me to my mom to make him sound better so i always get yelled at. he doesn’t care how i feel he even makes me feel like i be better of dead then being here. i don’t know what to do anymore i just need someone to talk to but no one will listen i feel like i’m dying inside and everything sucks . i just need advice how do i deal with him intill i can leave i’m only 16

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello, thanks for posting to our forum! It sounds like home is really tough with your dad constantly yelling and hurting you. It sounds like you care a lot about our mom but that she is overwhelmed by his behavior too and that your dad lies to make himself sound better to your mom.
                    You do not deserve to be treated this way at all. If you want, you have the right to report your dad as abusive due to his pulling your hair and pushing you down. Child Help is an agency that can help you better define abuse, give you information on how to report and answer more specific questions (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) We can also help you make an abuse report if you would like to. Call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
                    It must be so difficult to feel so trapped and like you have to put up with this for another 2 years before you are a legal adult (which is age 18 in most states). Maybe you could ask your mom if you could stay with a friend or family member for a while to help things calm down. We also offer conference calling to parents so we can help you have that conversation with your mom too if you would like to call in.
                    You definitely have options even if it feels like you don’t right now. It makes sense that with all this going on you cry a lot and want someone to talk to. We are here 24/7 to talk so reach out anytime by phone or live chat (open daily 4:30-11:30 central time on our website). You mentioned sometimes feeling better off dead. It makes sense with all the stress you are going through, but that is also a very scary thought to have. You are not alone, a lot of people feel that way. If you want someone to talk to, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also 24/7 both online and on the phone: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Even if you are not suicidal, they are there to talk through some of these feelings and difficult situations you are in with your dad hurting you and yelling at you. You can also text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 24/7 about abuse, depression, suicide, really anything you want to talk about and a trained volunteer will respond to you usually within minutes.
                    If you want to talk to someone face to face, we can help you find a therapist or support group in your area. If you would like to do this, call or chat us anytime! Another helpful resource for finding someone near you is SAMHSA (samhsa.gov, 1-877-726-4727). You can put in your location and it will tell you what resources for counseling are near you. Perhaps talking to a teacher or counselor at school may also be helpful if you haven’t already.
                    You have showed a lot of strength by reaching out today. We are here to listen and support you through this really hard time. Call or chat us anytime to talk about this more, come up with more options, and if you need any more resources.
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