Never good enough.

[Unregistered]

Came across this site and i hope you can help me. Im 16 and me and my parents have never really got on very well. We cannot go 3 days without an argument that ends in tears, im so sick of it. They make me feel like im never good enough and they always ask me to change because im not the 'daughter they expect me to be'. We fall out because i dont change for them, and when i do change because its not good enough. Ive considered running away multiple times, its gotten so bad that ive even deeply considered suicide. I dont feel wanted, whenever i come back from school with a B in an exam they ask how many marks i was off an A. Even when i got an A* in Biology they werent happy as it wasnt 100% it was 92%. They use my boyfriend and my bestfriend to get me to do what they want, they refuse to let me see them/ go out. Ive tired having mature conversations with them to reach a compromise for certain arguments but its never good enough. No one is perfect but i dont smoke, i dont drink, i dont do drugs, im not pregnant. They could have a lot worse than me. Is running away stupid? i need an escape of some kind. Any help or advice is highly appreciated.

[ccsmod8]

RE: Never good enough.

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public bulletin board. Just know that we are always here to listen to you and help you in any way that we possibly can. From what you have stated in your bulletin post it sounds like you have been going through a very difficult time right now dealing with everything. You are certainly very brave to reach out to us during your time of need. With everything that has been happening to you during your time, it is incredibly fantastic that you are able to continue fighting for respect. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially at home where you are supposed to feel love and respect.

You have mentioned that you were thinking about killing yourself. Do you have this feeling often? If you do feel like this isn’t something that you can control, please reach out to someone that can help you through those times. A good resource might be to call the ‘National Suicide Hotline’ for someone to talk about what thoughts you might be thinking at the time. Their number is 800.273.TALK. They also have an online chat service that might be of help to you especially if you don’t feel like calling in. Another thing that you can do if you’re having those thoughts is to call the local police department; if you are thinking about hurting yourself or your family. They can come up and check up on things for you and make sure everyone is okay.

You mentioned that your grades are currently the subject of most of your fights between your parents and yourself. It can be very frustrating to try really hard to change and get good grades, but they aren’t really noticing that. Have you tried talking about what you have been feeling lately with anyone (i.e close friends, family members, school counselor, etc)? It might be helpful to have someone that you really trust to know what is going on with your and your feels, they can always provide you with direct support in person if you needed it. You might also do some self-care activities that you can practice on your own whenever you’re feeling a little down. Some things that you can think about doing is, setting small goals and celebrating them when they are achieved, maybe make a list of positive traits that you like about yourself (personal or public traits), trying your very best to refrain from comparing yourself to others at school or home, maybe establishing a hobby that makes you feel good about yourself, even try challenging your negative thoughts by asking their validity or by rethinking them in a positive manner (i.e. turn "I am a slow worker" into "I am a worker who takes time to do well at a task"). Starting a journal could also help you with these task. Does this sound like something that you can do?

If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).