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Parents don't seem to really 'care'

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  • Parents don't seem to really 'care'

    I'm 14, the relationship with my parents is hard to explain and I sometimes question if they even value me as their child beyond treating me like any other rebelling teenager when I say something mature, challenging their beliefs (as in lifestyle, not religion if that makes sense, sorry if it doesn't) and they happen not to agree with me. They have habits of making fun of me which has happened since I was little, I think that every single time I had said that I wasn't okay with
    them saying those things they always replied with, "stop being a baby/stop being sensitive, you know we are joking," obviously (or not so obviously, I don't know if this is just me) I am very insecure and even something feel ashamed with my interests/taste as well as anything I say, think, or even post online because of their teasing. They have a inability to see me cry without calling me dramatic/sensitive, this also applies when I try to open up about personal problems such as relationships. (I've lived through a lot of divorces, not my parents, mostly my grandparents/other family but It made me develop major trust issues, making it really difficult to make friends.) So I can't really talk with them, there was this one time I did talk to my mom about that specific problem, but it ended with her teasing me in front of family about how I 'have problems' refusing to even get me a therapist after addressing the problem. I never really do chores around the house, but that's mostly because I'm watching my siblings and doing schoolwork, To be honest mostly occupying myself online from the anxiety that slowly eats away at my self esteem. When I actually do chores they never say thank you, they don't give me an allowance but do buy me things, but at this point it just feels like they buy me things so they won't have to give me actual attention and have evidence to say, "we give her all of our attention, look at all the stuff we've gotten her!" Even though they get me that stuff again, to just leave me to my own devices so they can focus on their more active children, my younger siblings who they constantly give attention to when they are only doing what my parents tell them to. I get great grades at school, but all I get is a "good job" with a fake smile, then they brag about how successful I am to others, then complain some more about how I can't do what they want me to do and then back it up by saying, "I can be whatever I want to be, except that, that, and that." They get mad at me for having friends they don't like but when I don't at all they tell me I'll look like the weird kid, at this point I feel like an embarrassment to them. Also their discipline is all yelling and since they are impatient, they leave me to cry alone before yelling some more because, once again, they have an inability to see me cry. They expect me to parent my siblings when they've had enough, mostly my mom locking herself in the room, making me watch the siblings that hate my guts and are huge brats. I have been debating getting the school counselor involved before I have to deal with them for another summer but I'm too scared of the outcome,their favorite punishment is taking my phone and other access to the internet, the only place where I can somewhat escape to. Should I get my counselor involved or am I just being dramatic?

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

    We're sorry to hear about all that you have been facing and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Your feelings are valid and should be treated as such.Is there anyone else in your life that you think could advocate for you to your parents? It sounds like you've already identified a school counselor that could help you get mental health services and also help you have a conversation with your parents about what your needs are. It can be difficult to have a conversation with your parents if you feel that they only dismiss you. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to them so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with your parents. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. You can call us 24/7.

    If you give us a call we can listen and help you walk through other options you may have. Don't hesitate to give us a call.

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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