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My parents make me feel hopeless

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  • My parents make me feel hopeless

    Every time I'm with my parents they do things to endlessly make me mad or make me feel less than human. Life shouldn't be this hard. I want nothing more than to become wealthy so I can drop off a fat check for whatever amount they think I owe them and never speak to them ever again.

    They treat me as if I have no problems and nothing to worry about ever and that their problems are the only ones that matter. My mom constantly talks about her "panic attacks" but when I started showing symptoms of a panic disorder she just brushed the to the side and told me to stop being such a little *****.

    My father is constantly drunk and hits people when he gets angry enough. I've seen him chase down and tackle my mother before just to hold her to the floor by her neck and scream and spit in her face for being "disrespectful". Every time my mom gets mad at me she calls him in because she knows he'll hurt me. I remember one time he called my friend a f*g while we were working in the yard and then I asked him to apologize a day refused to work until he did because I don't tolerate people being jerks to my friends and he decided to shoot bottle rockets at me. He laughs about this now like it's all a funny joke. After he started shooting I ran to the back of the house and tried to get in and lock myself in my room but the back door was deadbolted so I was reduced to screaming for help and banging on the door until my mom hopefully came to help me. She did not. My father was the one who opened the door and proceeded to scream at me for waking up my little sister. Not long after my mom showed up and started doing the same. Somehow we made it to the kitchen and he started screaming at me again so I yelled back and then he threw me on the floor and pinned me there by my throat until I felt myself blacking out. My mom pretended to care just long enough to get him off of me and have him throw me out the door. I ran to my grandparents house down the street and sat there hiding until my mom drove down and came in just to tell me that everything that happened was my fault and that I shouldn't have disrespected him by asking him to respect my friends.

    This was almost 2 years ago and I still have panic attacks and cry every time I think about it.

    I can't type anymore right now because they're about to come find me to go to church but I just needed to get this out somewhere, to get some confirmation that I'm NOT in fact crazy and that it WASN'T my fault that all of this happened.

  • #2
    Hello there,
    Thanks for posting on our forum. It sounds like things are really tough home. We want you to know that all you’ve described to us sounds like home is a serious safety issue. We’re not here to define abuse, but it seems like you’re describing what sounds like domestic violence and physical abuse.
    We want you to know that it is not your fault that you’re being treated this way. You don’t deserve to be hurt. If you want, you have the right to report what is happening to you to Child Protective Services. If you’re wondering how to do this or just wanted more information before you made a decision, please visit www.childhelp.org. If you’d like to report and need help, we can help you with that here. All you’d have to do is call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we’d be able to conference call with your local abuse reporting hotline.
    It sounds like things are very overwhelming for you. It might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult that you might be able to help you. You don’t have to face this alone. Sometimes having an adult involved could help. If you can’t think of anyone, you could try calling us, we can help by being an emotional support. Since you mentioned dad is also hurting mom, the National Domestic Violence Hotline might be a good resource for you too: 1-800-799-7233
    If you need a safe place to go we’d like to help you with that too. We have a network of youth shelters all across the nation that we’d be able to help you get connected with. Please consider giving us a call, we’re 24/7 and confidential. If you feel like you’re in danger or anyone in your home is in danger, please call 911.
    Best of luck to you and stay safe.
    -NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
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