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  • I hate my home, family and life

    I know most people typically say their life sucks but you haven’t heard my story yet

    I’m 15 years old and my parents are the strictest people you’ll ever meet. I got my first phone at 14 with restricted yet necessary apps for school (i.e. Safari, Camera, App Store). I’m not the best school student but I’m not the worst (A’s, B’s). All my problems emerge from my phone so let’s talk about that.

    My phone, more or less, is a blackmailing tool, which benefits my parents. They know my password, and check my phone probably every night, but I wouldn’t know. I can’t use the Internet, a camera, or even download apps on my phone. My parents always take my phone in the night and I’m never allowed to have it in my room. I’ve had it for about a year and it hasn’t been in my room for a night while all my friends are texting me needing help and I can’t respond because of my mom and dad.

    In school, I wouldn’t say I’m the best student, but I’m not terrible. My dad is always checking my grades, as if he even cares about me. Then he tells my mom about my grades and they confront me about it and when I say I’m working on it they don’t buy it. Currently in 10th grade I’m in all honors classes (except lit), junior level math, and AP World History but to my mom and dad it’s all OL courses for some reason.

    My situation at home isn’t that great. All of the TV’s are locked so I can’t watch TV without someone inputting a code. My Xbox is time-restricted but that’s alright because I don’t even have time. I can’t even log into a computer without asking my mom or dad to put the password in, and the computer has to be closed at 9 PM, if I still have work, I wake up at 5:30 AM to finish it.

    The real problems asides with the females. I’m not allowed to date, which is ok, I’m not into that stuff anyways, but I can’t even maintain friendships. I asked a good friend of mine if she wanted to hang out and my parents found out and lectured me about it and well my phone won’t come back till I have all A’s. It’s a little sexist, I’m not sure why but like I said the phone is a blackmailing device.

    My life sucks, because my parents think my sister is Jesus in human form. I always get in trouble when she whines even if I didn’t start it, or she started it. She’s a complete baby and I’m not a fan of it.

    I have ADHD, which means I’m hyperactive without medication. My parents began medication around July 2015, and it’s working well I’m focusing a lot better.

    At school, I’m typically the guy who makes people laugh because (as Robin Williams said), I know what it’s like to feel worthless, and I try to cheer people up so they don’t have to feel worthless.

    I want to run away so bad, but I’m useless. All I have is about $350 but that’s not going to last me a long time. I’ve had dark thoughts and I can’t tell anyone because they’ll tell the guidance counselor and they will inform my parents and I don’t want to find out what awaits me that day.

    So with all of this, I’m starting something new. My house is walking distance from school, which benefits and it’s close to the library. After school, unless I have robotics, I will go to the library and finish all of my homework, and I’ll probably camp outside of the school and sneak in my house to shower, eat and change. I really hate my life and wish it were over but I still believe things will get better hopefully. If not there’s always one way out.

    Just writing this makes me better, because even if it doesn’t get published atleast someone reads it and understands my struggle. Thanks!

  • #2
    Re: I hate my home, family and life

    Hello and thanks for reaching out. We’re sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time at home and it sounds like the main thing you’d like to focus on is feeling heard and understood. We’re available to listen and provide support to the best of our ability even if you find yourself just needing to vent for a bit. At the same time we imagine it’s frustrating having so many restrictions on your phone usage and T.V. privileges. We’re also sorry to hear your parents treat your sister so differently from you. That doesn’t sound like an easy position to be either. After going through your post, your sharing about how you like to cheer up other people so they don’t feel worthless stood out. In spite of all of what you’re experiencing, good for you to try and make other people feel better.

    As far as running away, we aren’t here to make the decision for you. However, we can go over possible options and hopefully begin discussing a plan. You mentioned camping outside of your school and sneaking into your house to shower and eat so it sounds like you’re trying to take your basic needs into consideration. We imagine there might be a bit more to figure out though, especially as far as your long-term plan. In your closing statement you mentioned just writing this makes you feel better, so it sounds like writing is a way you’ve found to cope. If you’d like to continue talking about your situation, we encourage you to try out our Live Chat. Best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:



    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      I need a new life

      I life is not good my mom beat me in get mad so much. sometime she takes it out on me in my sister in brother i have some problems makeing a in b but i make 74-80 some time. So my mom get mad and put me on punishment for a long time. She said she going to start buying payless shoes because my stepdad think we good stuff a lot but not no more. Sometimes when we do suff wrong she get mad. my stepdad is a person who like to take oven. when i ask my mom can i do someing he comes in in say no a lot .i do not like my mom in stepdad. My stepdad sell drugs. I asked to go to church he said no on Sunday when I believe in God. I need some help i do not like my mom in stepdad i will live what someone else. THE END

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: I need a new life

        Hey there,

        We’re so glad that you reached out to us. It sounds like you’re having a really hard time at home with your mom and stepdad. Let’s see if we can look at these issues one at a time.

        You said your mom beats you, your brother, and your sister because she’s mad. Well that’s not okay. Hurting anyone is not right. If someone hurts you, it’s okay to talk to someone about it, someone you trust. Maybe there is a school counselor or a teacher you like. Maybe you can ask someone at the church for help. If you don’t feel like you can talk to them, you can call us. Sometimes talking to someone you don’t know helps too. We will ask questions that help us understand what you are going through and then we will help you decide what to do.

        Sounds like you get angry when your mom gets angry at you. That makes sense. It can be confusing when we don’t understand things or when things seem unfair. It could help to write in a journal or to talk to other people about things that are going on. You could talk to your friends. Maybe they would understand. If you want to get better grades because you think your mom would be less angry with you, then maybe you can talk to a teacher about getting extra help to raise your grades. Your mom might like that too. Sometimes when people are scared they act angry. Maybe your mom is going through some of her own things and she, like you said, takes it out on you. That doesn’t make it okay! But at least you know that you are not the only reason she might feel angry.

        It sounds like you are having a tough time with your stepdad too. You said he takes over, tells you no a lot, thinks you deserve less good stuff, and sells drugs. That sounds really stressful. If you have family in the area, maybe you can talk to them about going to church. Maybe they can pick you up or you can go with them if your mom and stepdad don’t or don’t want to. It sounds like you are considering trying to live with someone else. It was smart for you to reach out to us.  We can help talk about your options, find resources, and make a plan.

        If you want to talk to us some more, call us at 1-800-786-2929. We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We want to help, but most important, we want to listen to you.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        Comment


        • #5
          I hate my life, which includes my family...

          I've suffered from physical and emotional abuse from my parents, and I've suffered from not having anything positive happen in my life. I'm not one of those people who judges others, or writes about stupid (edited) stuff. If people don’t understand what I’m going through, or if it doesn’t compare to what they have been through, I still don’t care. I probably should be glad that I wasn’t sexually abused or this or that didn’t happen to me. But, only your parents can cause so much damage in your life. They dictate your lives, they change who you are, and shape you to either be stronger, or just weaker. My family, well define the word family, because if it means a dad who can’t even support his family, but constantly cheats and abuses his wife, or a brother who can’t even stand up to all the (edited) messed up stuff that happens in our lives, or the bipolar mother who can’t even (edited) act like a mother, and to top it all off, the sister who is just full of it, she has to count on her younger sister to handle the situations that arise every day from being part of the family that I am in. Most people say that they wish they could run away from their family, but no (edited) way is that possible. Running away earns starting a new life, in which we all know that we can’t do that. So running away might've been one of the things on my list, but it’s for sure as hell something I could never do. I'd prefer being alive than dead, because no matter how (edited) messed up my family is, at least I got what’s left when I leave this (edited) s...hole. My family is B.S.. I used to believe there was some almighty god that was just waiting to add fulfillment and happiness in our lives, but truly, the question is, how much we have to suffer in order to gain one thing, “happiness everyone always says that God is there, actually everywhere, and has always helping. But what possible reason does god have for all of the suicide, for those who are being abused, rape, or murdered. Explain that to me. My life might be a s… hole that have no one there for me. I have to practically do everything myself, and constantly stress out about the life I have. I won’t lie, I tried committing suicide, but here's the thing, as much as you want to die, its hard killing yourself when you know what you’re doing. But anyways, my life is like Cinderella, or I think it was her who had an evil stepmom and sisters. Except I don’t have a stepmom or step sisters, I just have an actual blood related mom and sister that treat me just as worse, but probably worse. Plus, I don’t have that fairytale about me falling in love, and living happily ever after. If you mean living happily ever after in this house, with my family, then I think my happily ever after would be working through life needing drugs and alcohol to get me by. My life isn’t probably as worse compared to yours, but words couldn’t possibly explain the amount of (edited)stuff you’re going through, but trust me, anyone who has the courage to write about their B.S. life on here, sure as hell deserves to be treated equally. My life is bad, probably not bad than yours, or as good as yours, but it’s bad. And if I could wish away all of the bad, I would, but guess what, no god, no wish, not anything will let me change anything. I might be able to get away from my family, but those memories and feelings won’t fade. If we were to live life as "god" had intended us to, then we are already suffering for those who have messed up lives, because their truly is no going back from the life you have, but your memories and feelings are a constant in your life. So, you get to live the horrible life everyday just by knowing or feeling the emptiness you had in your past. So overall, here’s to a future of probably a high class job and expensive wine, but also here’s to a bunch of memories and feelings that not only did we live through, but have to die knowing them. So, cheers to us all. We might make it through, but we haven’t really climbed through that dark pit in our mind.
          Last edited by ccsmod4; 07-14-2016, 03:13 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hello,
            Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

            Our Bulletin Board is an open forum.
            We appreciate you sharing such a powerful story involving your family and personal experiences.
            We hope that being able to tell your story, express your feelings and opinions brought you some sense of relief.

            NRS is here to listen and here to help. Remember we are available anytime at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or via our website www.1800Runaway.org
            Take care,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

            Comment


            • #7
              I hate my family and life

              My family life is terrible. My stepdad is the worst person ever. He yells at me and sends me to my room for up to 2 hours once. I try to stay away from him but he's always in my BUISNESS and I can't stay away. My mom always believes him and makes it so uncomfortable to live. I have ADHD and mood disorder so on top of that it makes it harder. Plus my grandmother lives with us and always yells at me when I say something about my little cousin who stays over a lot lately. They worship her like Jesus everyday. Her mom (my aunt) purposely calls me a ***** and other names and brings her to my friends house to make me jealous. She also introduced my cousin to my friends little sister for the entire reason being that she gets to see my friend. My mom is always sleeping and my stepdad hates me and yells at me. I called my little cousin a brat today and my grandmother completely lashed out on me and said "you think she's a brat?" I felt like punching through the walls. Then she called my mom since she's a huge baby who's afraid to deal with an 11 year old. And my mom screamed at me. Everybody worships my cousin and buys her stuff. The last time I got something was a charger for my phone 1 week ago. She gets gift after gift after gift. Every day she comes over my grandmother has something for her and tells me it's because she didn't have enough money. I'd be happy with a pack of gum. But she gets $50-$100 toys every day and when I say it's unfair and say to my aunt that j should get things too my aunt and grandmother say I'm a ***** and tell me to go upstairs. I really hate my cousin too. My house is also very small so I get chlostrophobic easily and whenever people fight I hear it. My room is also small and my moms is huge. I beg her to switch but she won't listen. I want to run away so badly
              Last edited by ccsmod15; 08-17-2016, 11:23 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I hate my home, family and life

                Hi,

                Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really difficult at home right now. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

                You’ve shared that things are really chaotic at home right now and that you’re sharing your home with many family members. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. You mentioned that you have ADHD and a mood disorder. If you are currently seeing a medical provider for this, you could try talking to them about what has been going on at home or if not, we could help you look up one in your area. Some other options could be to speak with a school counselor or a therapist in your area about how you have been feeling and what has been going on at home. Other options would be to speak with a trusted friend or family member about what you have been feeling. Sometimes speaking to someone about these things can help you work out some of these feelings in a healthy manner. You are worthy and you deserve to be happy.

                You shared that you want to run away because you have been feeling neglected by your family. You do not deserve to be treated this way and it’s understandable that you want a change. While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to leave home without your parent’s permission, they have the right to file a runaway report and if the police found you, they could make you return home. So when considering your options of staying somewhere else for a period of time, for things to settle down at home, getting your parent’s permission would help you. Some options to consider could be staying at a youth shelter or alternative living arrangement (ALA) or getting permission from your parents to stay with a family member or close friend. You have many options available to you.

                Some other options you could consider to help you cope with your situation at home and how you have been feeling is some self care options. Self care could include things like expressing your emotions through journaling, doing activities like hiking or swimming or taking up a new hobby such as painting or reading. Other options could include taking a short walk or a hot bubble bath when you are feeling overwhelmed and need a break from the stress at home.

                If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.

                Take care,
                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:




                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NRSOnlineServicesSurvey

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I hate my home, family and life

                  Everyone here, I understand how you feel. I'm 16 and I live in a family of seven kids. I'm the sixth one. I very often feel left out and looked down upon because I don't measure up to my brothers' achievements academically. I have ADD and Epilepsy, and I feel like my parents care for me only because I have those. My brothers bully me and make me feel bad, and my dad is abusive to my mum. He acts normal at work and in public, but behind closed doors he's a total jerk. All he cares about are grades and how I can give him money when I get a job. Whenever something bad happens, I am the one who is always blamed. I feel like I am in a dark hole and I can't get myself out. I am never truly happy, even though I pretend to be. I know people here would know best on how it feels to be left out and bullied. Honestly, i feel like I am going insane because everything is falling apart for me and when I complain or cry about how I feel, my dad just says "stop being a b*t*h". I dont think anyone in my family understands how I feel except for my sister, who felt like the same way I did but moved out to college. Im happy for her because she escaped this hellhole. I want to leave but I know I can't. I dont have the guts to do it. I just thought I should post because I need some advice on how to tackle my problems without getting moved to a foster home before I turn 18.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Reply:I hate my home, family and life

                    Hello,
                    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

                    It sounds like you have been through a great deal of stress at home.
                    That’s too bad. You don’t deserve to be in a home where you are abused and ridiculed by your father. You are not the blame for his bad behavior. You have shown great strength battling your own health issues alongside of everything else that has been going on.

                    Your feelings are important and no one should try and put you down for expressing them.
                    Sometimes when things are getting to feel like a bit too much people turn to outside resources for help. We are glad you reached out to NRS tonight. Good for you.

                    You are welcome to call us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) to talk more about your situation and explore options for help.
                    You can also chat live with us at www.1800Runaway.org
                    How does that sound?

                    We look forward to hearing from you.

                    Take Care,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I hate my home, family and life

                      Hi everyone. I feel like trash. I want to let these emotions out so bad but i dont know what other way to do it. I wish i could rewind back time and do things differently. I dont regret my son at all, but i regret having gotten together with his father. I feel like a miserable woman and daughter. My mom is very controlling too and i just cant. Im at work right now with one million thoughts going thru my head. I dont wanna die but i do wanna get up and walk away with my son.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I hate my home, family and life

                        Hi there,
                        Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. It shows a lot that you reached out to us tonight and that is something worth being proud of. It sounds like you have a lot of different things going on right now. Sometimes it is hard to be in a situation you don’t feel like you really want to be in.
                        Sometimes the best way to figure something out, especially when you feel like you have so much going on, is to simply talk it out. This may seem trivial but it could really help. If being with your son’s father is not making you comfortable and it is not something you want then it might be beneficial to express this to your son’s father, if you are comfortable doing so. Being able to express how you are feeling is a good first step to figuring out what you want to do from there. You had also mentioned that you felt your mother was controlling. This is another thing worth talking about. Our parents will always be our parents but sometimes it is okay to take a step away from them, especially if it is causing you personal discomfort.
                        We are sorry to hear that you have so much going on. It can be very stressful and irritating to have so much going on and not know what to do with it. If you ever want to talk anything out or just vent please feel free to reach out to us here at NRS through our 24hr toll free live chat or you can also reach us on our online live chat. Hopefully talking things out can help.

                        Best of luck,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:




                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NRSOnlineServicesSurvey

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I hate my familie

                          Am a boy am 15 year old and I hate my family.if my brother done something my mom always any at he for something I didn't done sometime I just want to run from home or gest be in a foster family I'm so depressed new I just want to run if somone feel the same as me reply

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            RE: I hate my familie

                            Hello,

                            Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation. It sounds like you are suffering with depression and feeling mistreated by your mom. That sounds very hurtful and it is understandable that you would have thoughts of running away. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can.18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. You mentioned wanting to be in foster care. Youth cannot usually choose to go into foster care, however if you are being abused at home you have a right to make an abuse report with Child Protective Services, who may investigate the abuse and remove you from the home and into foster care if they find that it is unsafe for you to live at home. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. You can also call us any time and we will talk through your situation and help you come up with a plan to stay safe. Don't hesitate to call or chat! We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm a teenager and I want to run away from home. I feel like my parents and family don't care about me because they always get on me about everything single thing I do and yell at me whenever I do something wrong and more stuff and I don't want to go back home at all

                              Comment


                              • ccsmod0
                                ccsmod0 commented
                                Editing a comment
                                Hi there,

                                Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really difficult at home right now with your mom. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

                                You shared that you and your mom have been fighting for a long time and that you’re sick of it. It makes sense to feel frustrated when you’re constantly dealing with fighting in your home. You deserve to feel loved and comfortable in your home. There are many options available to you.

                                One option is conference calling. You, your mom and someone from NRS would be on a phone call helping you and your mom have a calm and productive conversation about how you’re feeling and what’s going on at home. We could also help brainstorm some possible solutions that might work for both of you.

                                Another option could be to try speaking with a school counselor or a counselor in your area about how you have been feeling. They might be able to offer emotional support as well as some coping strategies- for example journaling, spending a couple hours after school away from home like at the library or a park, or focusing on playing sports.

                                Lastly, if you feel like you need more of a break from how your mom has been treating you, you could see if she would give you permission to stay somewhere else for a little bit. Perhaps you could stay with a family member or friend that you trust. This could possibly give you and your mom some space from all the fighting

                                If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.

                                Take care,
                                NRS
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