Leaving/Running Away at 17 (almost 18)

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in immediate danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re thinking about leaving home, and while we don’t know your reasons, we can guess that something isn’t right at home and we are so sorry to hear this is the case. You have our support as you try to make a plan going forward.

To answer your question: Since you’re 17, if you leave home technically the police should be required to find you and bring you home if a runaway report is filed. However, since you are so close to 18, some officers may not decide to pursue the case. It really just depends on the individual person who receives your case, and if you decide to leave home it is a risk you will have to consider.

We would love to hear more about your story and give you more personalized and confidential help. Please feel free to reach out to us directly any time to talk to a real person. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

Good Luck!
NRS

hi, im 17 and will be 18 in about 6 months. can i runaway without being brought back home or taken to foster care? i live in connecticut.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to share what's been going on and how you've been feeling. It can be frustrating when you feel like your choices are being taken away from you and we're here to help and support however much we can. One resource that might be helpful to you is National Safe Place - it helps youth get connected to the closest designated safe space in their area. You can contact them by texting SAFE and your current location (address, city, state or zipcode) to 4HELP (44357) for immediate help. Another option to consider is what it could look like to talk to school counsel or teacher that you trust as they might be able to give additional resources that are specific to your area. It's also important to prioritize your mental health. A helpful, confidential resource that may be able to provide additional support is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). They can be reached via phone at 800-950-6264 or online at https://nami.org/help.

While we are not legal experts, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent/guardian permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home by law enforcement. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, local non-emergency police or local legal aid resources may better answer legal questions.

If you feel that your parents might be open to it, NRS has an option where you can call into our 24-hour phoneline and we can facilitate a conference call between you and your parents. It is important to remember that you are not alone and that you can always reach out to us. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon,
NRS

I live in Tennessee and im 17 ,my parents are taking my computer away and my wifi and they aren’t going to let me have any type of technology so i won’t be able to communicate with my friends and they took my doorknob away so I don’t have privacy whatsoever , they want me to have my hair the way they want it, they also want me to change the type of clothes i wear and also I been having depression i just have not told anyone about it and i just don’t wanna live here no more i want to runaway or emancipate myself they said If i left they won’t stop me but they would report it to the police but i just need help or i need to find somewhere to stay at.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are almost 18 and wanting to run away. While you can still be considered a runaway as long as you are a minor, sometimes there is not as much effort from police into trying to find you. Though we cannot give a definite answer on this, contacting your local police department to see how they would handle it, can be a good option. Also if you would like to discuss this further with us, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We can try and help you come up with some options or ways to cope until you are 18 and can legally leave. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I'm 2 months away from 18. Would I get in trouble for running away?

Hi, I have questions as far as if I decide to leave my parents home before I turn 18. Ive been through a lot in the past year, my parents are both emotionally abusive and it’s hard to live with them. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years and recently had to move in with my aunt due to some issues that arose between me and my parents. I stayed with her, got a job and was doing pretty good when all the sudden she devoted to send me back. Ever since I’ve been back it’s gotten worse and I fear that I won’t be able to make it to my 18th birthday due to the emotional tension and stress put on me. I do online and fully believe that if things get physical again that I will be moving back out of state to live with a friend back in my home town . I told my parents plans of moving once I turn 18 and they don’t agree. I can’t stay with them. I turn 18 in March and if I decide to leave in December, will the cops still pursue me? My parents are crazy and have told me they they would hunt me down if I left. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do, with 300 dollars left in my account I don’t even have enough to do much. Please help. Help me to figure out how I can correctly do this. I don’t wanot to get in trouble with the law but my parents are purposefully holding me back from becoming a successful adult. They don’t even want to help me with college applications. I’m trying to be respectful and responsible and all they are doing is stunting my growth putting me in a major depression. Please help. What can I do, what are the options that I have as a 17 year old. At one point I had 2 jobs and was saving to move but things went south with them again. I just want to do it as close to right as I can get but due to the decline in my mental health I don’t think I can stay much longer.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what you're going through. It sounds like a difficult spot to be in. We'd like to help out in any way we can but would need a little more information about your situation so we can work with you to help you figure out what you'd like to do, whether that's leave now or stick it out till you're 18. Please know we support you but will never tell you what to do. The best way we can help would be for you to call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon!

Stay safe,
National Runaway Safeline

I live in Washington state, it is exactly two months before I am 18, may I leave my home (without parental permission) now due to fear of bing imprisoned when I'm 18? I am second oldest, I have many places to go live outside of this house. I've been kicked out before, and two month wait is getting to be too difficult.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear you are not happy at the group home you are at. Fortunately, you will be 18 in about a week. When you turn 18 you will no longer be considered a minor and, unless there are some unusual circumstances, you should be able to leave without needing permission. It sounds like you are considering leaving before then, however.

We never tell anyone what to do, but you may want to consider the following options:

1) Just wait it out. A week is not a long amount of time and this would likely be the safest option for you.

2) Leave, but be prepared for the group home to file a runaway report on you. Since you are so close to turning 18 your group home either may not make a report and/or the police may not actively look for you. But we really can't say what exactly will happen.

3) Ask permission from your caseworker or other staff to leave the program early.

Perhaps there are other options for you as well. We'd like to help in whatever way we can but need more information from you to see how we can assist. The best way we can help would be for you to call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. When you contact us we can talk about what's going on, what your next best options are, and perhaps look into other resources that may help (shelters, transitional living programs, counseling, etc.). We hope to hear from you soon!

Stay safe,
NRS

I turn 18 in 8 days and I’m currently living in a group home where I’m not happy! I told them that I’m keeping my phone till I age out, and now they are threatening taking my visits away from my boyfriend/best friend and I’m honestly contemplating on running away. I have no family to rely on and no support system established other then my boyfriend. What should I do?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
We are not legal experts but we do have some information on what could possibly happen. In Ca the age of consent is 18 years old, because you are so close to being 18 it may be possible your boyfriend could not be charged with anything. You could always talk to your school counselor about what is going on and they may be able to help with resources.
We know you mentioned leaving home, it is possible you could be returned home if you leave before 18. If you do wait until you are 18, in CA you would legally be able to leave home without permission at 18 years old. It is understandable to feel depressed given your situation. You may want to consult with a mental health professional to help you feel better and to make sure you are keeping the baby healthy as well by eating.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call or chat with us. We are available 24/7 to support you and listen. Best of luck!

im past 17 1/2 and will be 18 in 2 months exactly and my boyfriend is currently 18 he is only 6 months older than me. I got pregnant recently and my parents didn't take it lightly and they took my phone and everything to not have any contact with him so i'm writing this with my school computer. I spoke to my parents about leaving to live with my boyfriend but they told me i'm not allowed to leave till i'm 18 and if i try to leave they would try to put him in jail for me being pregnant and being with him. I don't want to be forced to come back home. They just want to use anything against him and keep threatening him to me to scare me about leaving. Its been about a week and i cant anymore I've been becoming depressed and don't want to eat much and feel like i can go crazy if i wait 2 months i have nothing to call with and school computer blocks almost everything but i want to know what they can do so i hope you can help because i have nothing to call with. please get back to me ASAP i live in compton ca

[ccsmod15]

Hi there!
Thank you so much for reaching out to us at NRS today. We know it can be very difficult and take a lot of courage to do so. We are so sorry to hear that you have a difficult relationship with your parents.
You mentioned you are urgently trying to leave home. Like you said, if your parents call the police and file a runaway report, the police may come and find you. For us to reach out to the local police for you, you would have to reach out to us over livechat or over the phone. Also, you can call out to the local police’s non-emergency number confidentially and they will answer any questions you have. In general, many times if the police are not able to find you in any initial places your parents tell them to look, they will not continue to keep looking. It is great to hear that you are feeling stable and have been preparing to be living on your own.
Please feel free to reach out over livechat or call if you would like to help you call out to the police.
Best of luck and stay strong,
NRS

Hello, I turn 18 in just over 3 months. 96 days to be precise. I am desperate to leave my parents house. We have a terrible relationship which keeps getting worse. They took the door off my room, and cut off my contact to everyone I care about. They said they would not stop me, but would call me in as a runaway. Could you possibly ask the police department if they would go after someone my age? I have a steady job, and a place to live. I am ready to be on my own. Ive been preparing for the last five years. I have my own vehicle, pay for my own insurance, so my own taxes, handle my own schooling. Please, any help/information you could find would be amazing. THIS IS URGENT.