Leaving/Running Away at 17 (almost 18)

[Guest]

hi, im 17 and will be 18 in about 6 months. can i runaway without being brought back home or taken to foster care? i live in connecticut.

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in immediate danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re thinking about leaving home, and while we don’t know your reasons, we can guess that something isn’t right at home and we are so sorry to hear this is the case. You have our support as you try to make a plan going forward.

To answer your question: Since you’re 17, if you leave home technically the police should be required to find you and bring you home if a runaway report is filed. However, since you are so close to 18, some officers may not decide to pursue the case. It really just depends on the individual person who receives your case, and if you decide to leave home it is a risk you will have to consider.

We would love to hear more about your story and give you more personalized and confidential help. Please feel free to reach out to us directly any time to talk to a real person. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

Good Luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I am planning to run away a month before my birthday but I will be with my birth mother. My father is abusive to me and it's just a toxic household that I would not like to return to. If I stay with my mom ao th before I turn 18 will the police try to come and get me and bring me back to my father. Appearently my mother has shared custody as she lost partial custody of me when I was a child. Idk what to do please help me.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

Thanks so much for reaching out! It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are here to listen and help you. We are not legal experts but it is possible that you won't be forced to go back to your dad's house if your mom has shared custody and your dad does not file a missing person's report. Since your mother does have shared custody, it seems as though you should be able to be with your mother until you turn 18.

Nonetheless, that seems like a difficult situation and you do not deserve to be treated that way by your father. If you are interested, you could file an abuse report against your father. That is an option you could consider; but, once you turn 18, you are legally and adult and you cannot be forced to continue living with him. If you would like, you could try reaching out to the Childhelp hotline for additional questions you have regarding abuse and abuse reporting -- childhelphotline.org/

We can usually give more personalized help if you are able to contact us directly either via our online chat line [found on this website] or through our 24/7 hotline [1-800-786-2929]. If you feel as if you are in immediate danger though, we encourage you to call out to emergency services. We hope to hear from you soon.

Stay safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I turn 18 in 26 days. I’ve been living with my narcissistic dad for almost 6 years (a week before my 18th) and my step mom for 2 years now. I’ve been in a very hard situation with them since I’ve been living with them. When I was 11 years of age a week before my 12th. I was brought into my dad’s custody in Oklahoma for which I was living in Indiana prior to the situation. My mother lost custody for neglect, child abuse, and drug abuse. I didn’t really know my dad so him coming from Oklahoma just to get me was a surprise to me. But ever since then I dealt with ptsd,depression, and anxiety, I was 12 when he put me on medication that I insisted I didn’t want. I was depressed for a very long time which led me to make mistakes. Eventually we got kicked out of his ex wife’s house and a couple years later he remarried (in between a year he’s been with multiple women coming into and out of me and my younger siblings lives) . I’ve been wanting to move out ever since I moved in with my dad. I’ve been saving money by getting a new job my dad argued about me having ( I work at Braums) . My step mom isn’t the brightest light and I’ve struggled a lot trying to get along, she is a narcissist as well. For example she would gossip about her family and other sisters behind their backs as well as mine. She complains to my dad he never does anything and she has to take care all of us (me and my two siblings.) while she sleeps day and night while she locks her door until my dad comes home so she can complain. Now I have a boyfriend who turned 20 this last February. We have been dating with the consent of my parents for a year and a half. I wanna know now..is it legal if I run away yet still prioritizing my schooling, job, and overall mental health?

[ccsmod3]

Hi thank you for reaching out. It sounds like life has been stressful for several years. Previously, being abused by your mom and then being sent to your dad who you did not really know at all. It sounds like your dad and his wife are both narcissistic and it’s understandable to want to leave the house. It is technically a status offense to run away when you are under 18, though with you being so close to turning 18, it is less likely for police to put much effort into finding you, though we do not want to guarantee that. If you were to leave, it is important to make sure that you would have a safe place to go and be able to take care of yourself. If you would like to talk more about this or some possible options to help, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hi i’m currently two months away from turning 18 and i’m also pregnant. i live in az and am trying to move in with my boyfriend but i believe my parents would call the cops on me. so my question is if my parents were to call the cops on me would the cops do anything knowing that i’m safe and almost 18?

[ccsmod11]

(If you are in danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out. We can't say for sure if the police would make you go home if your parents called them, as different states have different rules for 17 year olds who leave home. You might consider calling your local non-emergency police and explaining your situation without giving away identifying information. That way you can know for sure how the police would react if you move out and your parents call the police.

We would love to know more about your story and give you more personalized guidance. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon!
Good luck!
-National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

If i turn 18 after running away at 17 4 weeks before I turn 18 and I call the police to not label me as a runaway anymore would they just take me off the runaway report or will they investigate to see what I was doing in the meantime before I turn 18

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It seems that you have concerns in regard to "runaway status". NRS are here to listen and provide you with support the best way possible. Please consider, 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youths. When you turn 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.


Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS