Leaving/Running Away at 17 (almost 18)

[Guest]

Hi so I’m 17 and I live in ND. My family emotionally abuses me constantly and I’m at a point where I have two options, run away or just end my life. I feel hopeless and trapped at my house constantly, and my parents hate my friends so I can never hang out with them. Is there any laws in ND regarding 17 year olds running away? And if there are any punishments regarding running away.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

To answer your question, police in ND do typically take runaway reports for 17 year olds. So if you leave home without permission your parents can file you as a runaway with police. Since you are 17, police could take lesser actions, but it is possible that they could return you home if found.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you are feeling like if you stay at home you will attempt to end your life, please call 911 or get to a safe place.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe and stay strong,

NRS

[Guest]

I am 17, going to be 18 in about 2 months. My parents emotionally drain me, and I can’t stand to be around them. I’ve had mental problems being under their care, and I feel it stems from them. If I left the house to go live with my 18 year old boyfriend and his father, could charges be pressed on his father and/or him?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. You do not deserve to be emotionally drained and we are sorry you are having to deal with that.
We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. If you were to leave home at 17 because you are still considered a minor, there is a possibility the police could bring you back home. Also whoever you were to stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Because you are so close to being 18 some police departments may not take a runaway report, but it depends on the police department. To find out the best answer you can always call your local police department and ask how they would handle this situation.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I’m turning 18 in 5 days, and have been getting treated horribly at my house. I have a safe place to stay. I need to know if i am legally allowed to leave. I have been reading articles that have stated that any parent cannot force their 17 year old to stay home, nor can they guarantee their child stays in the household. I am debating on whether I should leave or I should wait until I am 18.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like things have not been safe or welcoming for you at home and you feel like your best option is to leave. This is totally understandable, and we want you to know we are here to support you as you take your next steps.

We are not legal experts, but we can speak generally on this. Your parents are responsible for you until you reach the age of majority (18 in most states). If you leave home before then, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Now, some police departments do not enforce runaway reports for someone who is close to turning the age of a majority. In your case, it is very unlikely that police would force you back home if you are days away from turning 18. The only way to know for sure, is to call your local police department's non-emergency number to ask about their protocol and how they might handle this situation.

We hope this information helps! You can always reach out again by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services if you would like to talk more about your situation.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi,
My parents were never married and my mother has full custody. She has let me live with her aunt for 9 years and I see my mom on Sundays, she is very emotionally abusive and I love living with my aunt. She is now threatening to take me back to live with her two months before my 18th birthday, I’m not sure what my rights are and if I will be returned home if I run away. We are also in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, so I’m not sure if that impacts anything. (I live in New York)

[ccsmod15]

Hi there!
You definitely do not deserve to have your mom be emotionally abusive towards you. Because you are so close to 18 and with everything happening with Covid 19 it is hard to say how the police would handle it. You could always reach out to your local police anonymously and ask how they would handle it. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, you could always call out hotline and we could make the call with you!
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You can always call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929. If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.
Stay safe!
NRS

[Guest]

Am I legally allowed to leave

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for contacting us and reaching out with your question. There are some differences to how the legal situation is handled depending on what state you live in, and also your current living situation with your parents or guardians. Typically, the closer you are to 18, the higher your chance of being able to move out without facing legal consequences. However, in most places, your parents still have the right to file a police report and the police still have the legal responsibility to return you to your home when you are found. If you do leave, you won’t personally face any legal consequences - meaning your parents could bring you back, but you won’t get in legal trouble for running away.


It is important to remember that there are a lot of different reasons to leave a situation - some of them can involve feeling unsafe or being mistreated at home. If this is the case, we encourage you to talk to a trusted adult about what is going on, and see if they can help.


It can be very frustrating to be in your position, and reaching out for support might be a way to get closer to what you want and need. We hope you will consider calling (1-800-RUNAWAY) or using our chat service (www.1800runaway.org) if you’d like to talk about your situation any further. We wish you the best of luck!

[Guest]

I am 17 and turn 18 in May and need to leave. I am in California I’d like to go to Florida can I do that and legally get away with it

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for for taking the time to contact us here at NRS. It sounds like there is a lot that you are faced with at home and you are thinking that leaving home is your best option. We are not legal experts but we can speak generally on runaway laws. 18 is usually the age you are able to leave home without permission. If you leave before turning 18 your parents or guardians have the option to report you as a runaway to the police. Running away isn't necessarily illegal and you would not be arrested, but it is a status offense. This means that police can return you home if you are found.

We are here as a support for you during this challenging situation. Our email and bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice, so we can best support you by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you want to talk more about your situation or have additional questions.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 years old and I’ve had a lot of problems with my family and they have given me permission to move in with my 18 year old boyfriend and his parents and I have been for almost a year now. We are deciding to get an apartment, can I live with him on our own at my age and his if my parents still allow it?

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

What your describing sounds similar to an Alternative Living Arrangement (ALA). Your parents can choose to allow you to live somewhere with others temporarily. Since it is with their permission there is no issue with you staying with your boyfriend. It may be helpful to get any decisions or agreements written on paper and signed. It might not keep you from being taken to your parents’ home if they change their mind but it might help! We hope this helps, feel free to reach out with any other questions and/or concerns.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I turn 18 in just over 3 months. 96 days to be precise. I am desperate to leave my parents house. We have a terrible relationship which keeps getting worse. They took the door off my room, and cut off my contact to everyone I care about. They said they would not stop me, but would call me in as a runaway. Could you possibly ask the police department if they would go after someone my age? I have a steady job, and a place to live. I am ready to be on my own. Ive been preparing for the last five years. I have my own vehicle, pay for my own insurance, so my own taxes, handle my own schooling. Please, any help/information you could find would be amazing. THIS IS URGENT.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there!
Thank you so much for reaching out to us at NRS today. We know it can be very difficult and take a lot of courage to do so. We are so sorry to hear that you have a difficult relationship with your parents.
You mentioned you are urgently trying to leave home. Like you said, if your parents call the police and file a runaway report, the police may come and find you. For us to reach out to the local police for you, you would have to reach out to us over livechat or over the phone. Also, you can call out to the local police’s non-emergency number confidentially and they will answer any questions you have. In general, many times if the police are not able to find you in any initial places your parents tell them to look, they will not continue to keep looking. It is great to hear that you are feeling stable and have been preparing to be living on your own.
Please feel free to reach out over livechat or call if you would like to help you call out to the police.
Best of luck and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

im past 17 1/2 and will be 18 in 2 months exactly and my boyfriend is currently 18 he is only 6 months older than me. I got pregnant recently and my parents didn't take it lightly and they took my phone and everything to not have any contact with him so i'm writing this with my school computer. I spoke to my parents about leaving to live with my boyfriend but they told me i'm not allowed to leave till i'm 18 and if i try to leave they would try to put him in jail for me being pregnant and being with him. I don't want to be forced to come back home. They just want to use anything against him and keep threatening him to me to scare me about leaving. Its been about a week and i cant anymore I've been becoming depressed and don't want to eat much and feel like i can go crazy if i wait 2 months i have nothing to call with and school computer blocks almost everything but i want to know what they can do so i hope you can help because i have nothing to call with. please get back to me ASAP i live in compton ca

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
We are not legal experts but we do have some information on what could possibly happen. In Ca the age of consent is 18 years old, because you are so close to being 18 it may be possible your boyfriend could not be charged with anything. You could always talk to your school counselor about what is going on and they may be able to help with resources.
We know you mentioned leaving home, it is possible you could be returned home if you leave before 18. If you do wait until you are 18, in CA you would legally be able to leave home without permission at 18 years old. It is understandable to feel depressed given your situation. You may want to consult with a mental health professional to help you feel better and to make sure you are keeping the baby healthy as well by eating.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call or chat with us. We are available 24/7 to support you and listen. Best of luck!

[Guest]

I turn 18 in 8 days and I’m currently living in a group home where I’m not happy! I told them that I’m keeping my phone till I age out, and now they are threatening taking my visits away from my boyfriend/best friend and I’m honestly contemplating on running away. I have no family to rely on and no support system established other then my boyfriend. What should I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear you are not happy at the group home you are at. Fortunately, you will be 18 in about a week. When you turn 18 you will no longer be considered a minor and, unless there are some unusual circumstances, you should be able to leave without needing permission. It sounds like you are considering leaving before then, however.

We never tell anyone what to do, but you may want to consider the following options:

1) Just wait it out. A week is not a long amount of time and this would likely be the safest option for you.

2) Leave, but be prepared for the group home to file a runaway report on you. Since you are so close to turning 18 your group home either may not make a report and/or the police may not actively look for you. But we really can't say what exactly will happen.

3) Ask permission from your caseworker or other staff to leave the program early.

Perhaps there are other options for you as well. We'd like to help in whatever way we can but need more information from you to see how we can assist. The best way we can help would be for you to call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. When you contact us we can talk about what's going on, what your next best options are, and perhaps look into other resources that may help (shelters, transitional living programs, counseling, etc.). We hope to hear from you soon!

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I live in Washington state, it is exactly two months before I am 18, may I leave my home (without parental permission) now due to fear of bing imprisoned when I'm 18? I am second oldest, I have many places to go live outside of this house. I've been kicked out before, and two month wait is getting to be too difficult.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what you're going through. It sounds like a difficult spot to be in. We'd like to help out in any way we can but would need a little more information about your situation so we can work with you to help you figure out what you'd like to do, whether that's leave now or stick it out till you're 18. Please know we support you but will never tell you what to do. The best way we can help would be for you to call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon!

Stay safe,
National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

Hi, I have questions as far as if I decide to leave my parents home before I turn 18. Ive been through a lot in the past year, my parents are both emotionally abusive and it’s hard to live with them. I’ve struggled with my mental health for years and recently had to move in with my aunt due to some issues that arose between me and my parents. I stayed with her, got a job and was doing pretty good when all the sudden she devoted to send me back. Ever since I’ve been back it’s gotten worse and I fear that I won’t be able to make it to my 18th birthday due to the emotional tension and stress put on me. I do online and fully believe that if things get physical again that I will be moving back out of state to live with a friend back in my home town . I told my parents plans of moving once I turn 18 and they don’t agree. I can’t stay with them. I turn 18 in March and if I decide to leave in December, will the cops still pursue me? My parents are crazy and have told me they they would hunt me down if I left. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do, with 300 dollars left in my account I don’t even have enough to do much. Please help. Help me to figure out how I can correctly do this. I don’t wanot to get in trouble with the law but my parents are purposefully holding me back from becoming a successful adult. They don’t even want to help me with college applications. I’m trying to be respectful and responsible and all they are doing is stunting my growth putting me in a major depression. Please help. What can I do, what are the options that I have as a 17 year old. At one point I had 2 jobs and was saving to move but things went south with them again. I just want to do it as close to right as I can get but due to the decline in my mental health I don’t think I can stay much longer.

[Guest]

I'm 2 months away from 18. Would I get in trouble for running away?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are almost 18 and wanting to run away. While you can still be considered a runaway as long as you are a minor, sometimes there is not as much effort from police into trying to find you. Though we cannot give a definite answer on this, contacting your local police department to see how they would handle it, can be a good option. Also if you would like to discuss this further with us, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We can try and help you come up with some options or ways to cope until you are 18 and can legally leave. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I live in Tennessee and im 17 ,my parents are taking my computer away and my wifi and they aren’t going to let me have any type of technology so i won’t be able to communicate with my friends and they took my doorknob away so I don’t have privacy whatsoever , they want me to have my hair the way they want it, they also want me to change the type of clothes i wear and also I been having depression i just have not told anyone about it and i just don’t wanna live here no more i want to runaway or emancipate myself they said If i left they won’t stop me but they would report it to the police but i just need help or i need to find somewhere to stay at.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to share what's been going on and how you've been feeling. It can be frustrating when you feel like your choices are being taken away from you and we're here to help and support however much we can. One resource that might be helpful to you is National Safe Place - it helps youth get connected to the closest designated safe space in their area. You can contact them by texting SAFE and your current location (address, city, state or zipcode) to 4HELP (44357) for immediate help. Another option to consider is what it could look like to talk to school counsel or teacher that you trust as they might be able to give additional resources that are specific to your area. It's also important to prioritize your mental health. A helpful, confidential resource that may be able to provide additional support is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). They can be reached via phone at 800-950-6264 or online at https://nami.org/help.

While we are not legal experts, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent/guardian permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home by law enforcement. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, local non-emergency police or local legal aid resources may better answer legal questions.

If you feel that your parents might be open to it, NRS has an option where you can call into our 24-hour phoneline and we can facilitate a conference call between you and your parents. It is important to remember that you are not alone and that you can always reach out to us. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon,
NRS