16 years old, wanting to move out at 17 due to emotional and verbal abuse

[ccsmod11]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us during what appears to be a difficult time. We hope this message provides you some support and assistance.

It’s unfortunate that your mother tells you mean things when she’s drunk, and also that your dad is destructive and scary when he gets mad. We definitely understand how you would feel uncomfortable in that home environment – it seems like a valid reaction. We are concerned primarily with the safety of those who reach out to us, and you have told us that you’re contemplating suicide like never before. We hear you and are appreciative that you were brave enough to share that with us. We want to let you know that we’re not judging you for your thoughts. We want to let you know that we’re here to listen to your experiences, even those revolving around suicidal thoughts. Just call us at 1-800-786-2929. You can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support.

If you feel like your parents’ threats are serious and your life is in danger at any moment, you should call 911 for emergency services. If you leave home as a runaway and police try to return you home, you can tell the police that you don’t feel safe returning home if that is indeed the case, and they may not bring you home. If you have other concerns or questions about leaving home, call us to learn more.

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At first it was mostly stuff like getting moody when my mom is drunk. Now both of my parents have become so harsh that I can no longer deal with it. I told them that I wanted to move out sometime when I'm 17. They have gotten so angry and mean. When my mom is drunk she will explode into rage due to a tiny little thing that I did, and she will make me feel like the worst person ever. She said last night that she doesnt like me anymore, shes tired of all the things Ive put her through in the last 3 months (issues at school, intimacy with boyfriend, etc) and she told me that she plans on sending me away. I try to tell them that I can leave if they dont want me around anymore, they wont let me. They tell me to act like an adult but whenever I try to make my own decisions they get really mad and they wont let me do anything by myself. I understand that I need permission, but I get in trouble every time I ask permission. When my father gets really mad, he will become very destructive and scary. He threatens to beat me when I make him mad and he causes damage to objects around him. I feel so hated. So hated that I've contemplated suicide like never before. I've scarred myself and ruined everything. I feel like the most horrible person on the planet when I get in trouble, even if I get in trouble when I havent done anything atall. I want out, but I dont want to burn bridges. My dad says that if I try to leave he will hunt my ass down and send me far away. I'm scared.