i wanna kill myself

[Guest]

I've been depressed for a very long time, 5 years to be exact. and I have gone for therapy for all my life and its now I've realized that it's never helped me. I've been cutting for several years and have tried to commit suicide 6 times. My family doesn't really show that they care about what I go through like they think that its just a phase and it'll pass but I honestly feel trapped. I keep feeling this emptiness and loneliness every single day no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try. I'm honestly getting tired of everything I used to love and enjoy doing. People are noticing my scars and how I always look tired. I've turned to smoking and drinking and even drugs, hoping that soon it'll all kill me. I'm writing on this as a way to get help.
please help.

[ccsmod0]

Hello, Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time. We are here to help in any way we can.
You said that you are depressed, but therapy has never helped. That must be very frustrating and isolating to be depressed and experience nothing but hurtful words and comments whenever you try to confide in someone that should be a trusted ally. Depression can come on very young, and diagnosing it early on may help you to manage your depression better in the long run. That is awesome that you know yourself well enough and are listening to your body and mind about what you are feeling. In these situations, you might find it useful to talk to a school counselor about your depression. A counselor will hopefully provide you with some coping and management strategies, as well as offer other resources in your area. Additionally you can always check out https://twloha.com/ To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.
You also said that you are suicidal. It must be an awful feeling to be struggling in your depression and feel that there is no way out. You said you do not have access to a mobile phone, but the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is toll-free, so if you are able to find a pay phone, you would be able to call for free. Their 24/7, toll-free phone number is 1-800-273-8255. If you have internet access, you may also be able to download an app such as Skype or Google Voice. If none of these options work for you, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline also has a chat service. If you click this link: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.or...o-someone-now/ , under their toll-free number, there is an option to “Chat with Lifeline”.
We hope this was helpful to you. If you have a minute, we encourage you to give your honest feedback of our services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
We wish you the best of luck. Stay strong!
1-800-786-2929