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I don't think I can do this anymore

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  • I don't think I can do this anymore

    I'm 17 and for the past few years my family dynamic has not been the best. I have run away twice, but only for a few hours in the middle of the night. I have major depression, anxiety, and self harm issues (suicidal thoughts as well) and I go to a highly rated catholic school. I have a lot expected of me in all aspects of my life and I can never escape. My mother doesn't understand what I'm going through, she has been known to call me a (expletive) and she frequently tells me that shes "done with my self pitying (expletive). I honestly don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm generally a good kid, I get straight A's, I have a Job, I had a steady boyfriend, never had alcohol or drugs, never smoked either, but i never seem to be good enough for my mom. I have researched getting emancipated but that could harm my chances of having the future I've always dreamed of and I don't know if a judge would grant it to me on the grounds that I can't live with my mother anymore. I have been in therapy for two years now and my mom refuses to listen to what my psychiatrist says. I''m trying as hard as I can to make things better between us but nothing is working because she wont budge. More than anything I just want the freedom to talk to whoever I want, whenever I want, and live the life I want to live. I can't deal with the stress here anymore, I feel like it's making my mental state worse, but my only other option is homelessness since I have no substantial source of income to support myself with. I'm a rising senior and I keep hearing that I just have to get through this year, but honestly, I barely made it out alive last year. I'm very conflicted and I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do.

  • #2
    Hello,
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS.

    It sounds like you have been trying to survive a very tough home life.
    You don’t deserve to be called names or have your feelings diminished.
    Your feelings do count.
    Amazingly you have managed to stay focused and get great grades in school and work a job.
    You have also tried to set of quality standards to live by. Good for you.
    We understand that the relationship with your mom has made things very difficult emotionally for you. It would probably be a nice change to have your mom acknowledge your feelings and the hard caring hard working person you have become. You seem to be making strides to take care of yourself by attending therapy without (your mom’s participation).

    We can only imagine what a struggle it has been for you.
    It sounds like you have become exhausted with trying to get her to be open and work on your relationship but she has refused. That’s too bad.
    You are a survivor the fact that you have and continue to take control of your life says a lot about who you are. What would you like to do next?

    You are welcome to call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) and explore what you think your options might be. We are here to listen and here to help. You can also reach out to NRS by visiting www.1800Runaway.org (NRS live chat).

    You are very courageous and brave. We hope that you felt better by posting your thoughts and we look forward to hearing from you.
    Take Care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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