I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT TO RUN!

[Guest]

ok. i'm not saying my life is the worst. but i need more help than i'm getting. my names [name removed for confidentiality] and my family seems to break apart. i don't want to be in it anymore. My dad always yells at me and my siblings. my parents are barely home. some times my parents blame things they do on us. i cut. i don't do it deeply. but i do it enough to bleed. when i do and i go to school. i have everyday my friends wants to see my wrists. today they saw the cuts and my friend smacked my wrist. later that day my other friend saw it and licked her fingers and smacked my wrist. i know they care. but do they know whats happening at home? at school? my parents usually never believe me on what happens. they think i try to be put in with the emo's or in with the unpopular but i don't. they say when i cut that I'm trying to get attention when its not true. at school people always try to make it worse. they call me a whore and slut. with my grades my parents don't understand that i don't really understand them. i try to get help but they think they know everything. i try to get them to help me and they don't know how to. so i'm like what the heck cuz i'm getting yelled at for not asking for help.

I don't tell people at church cuz i know they might do something about it...and it scares me.

i just don't know what to do anymore. i want to runaway from home. i want to die so much. my friend sent me to this. please help my life get better...please

[ccsmod7]

Re: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT TO RUN!

Thanks so much for writing in and sharing your story. It sounds like your dealing with an extremely difficult situation right now and you should be proud of yourself for trying to open up about what is going on. You mentioned that you are having problems at home and at school and having a hard time dealing with them all. It sounds like the main way that you cope with these situations is by cutting. How long have you been cutting for? What does it make you feel like when you cut? Do you feel it helps the situation? You mentioned feeling frustrated with your parents and that they are not understanding what is going on and often times just yell at you. What are some things that your parents get angry about? When did you start feeling this way and has anything helped the situation? Have you spoken with anyone else about what your going through? Another friend, family member, or perhaps a counselor? Do you have a school counselor that you would be able to speak with? Are there other ways that help you cope with this situation when it is getting bad?

You mentioned that it has gotten to the point where you have thought about running away. Have you ever run away before? Have you thought about where you would go? Do you have somewhere safe you could stay? What do you think your parents would do if they found out you left? It may seem like a lot of questions but sometimes it can help to get you thinking about options and what you want to do. Do you feel that there are options that would help make the situation at home one that you would be able to deal with? Another comment you made is that you want to die. Is death an option that you have actually considered? Have you ever thought about killing yourself or are you suicidal right now? It’s not fair that you are dealing with so much that it has gotten to the point where you are thinking about running away or suicide. Now if it gets to the point where you are feeling suicidal and you need to talk with someone you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day. We are not here to tell you what to do, but rather listen, talk about options, and find resources in your area if you need any. If you just need to vent and need someone to listen we are here for that as well. It’s not always easy opening up about these situations and you should be very proud of yourself for doing so. In the meantime stay safe and take care, and remember we are here anytime you need us.

[Guest]

Re: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT TO RUN!

i've been cutting for two years. its makes me feel like i can do something my parents will never find out about. and makes me feel alittle better. no i don't feel that it makes the situation better. they get angry for the stupidest things. and i get in trouble alot because of my brother and sister. they get on my nerves and makes things worse. i've told my friend, Tab but she's having the same problems. i haven't ran away before. but i know i've scared my parents half to death threatening them that i was gonna. i don't know where i'd go. if i did i'd run to ... cuz thats where my boyfriends lives and i know he'd take care of me. but thats a long ways. i like in... my parents already said that if i run away they were going to let them put me in juvi or however you spell it and keep me there for a long time. and yes i have considered it. But i'm scared to do it...i'm not afraid to die. i'm just afraid it'll hurt.

[ccsmod8]

Re: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I WANT TO RUN!

Hello,

Thank you for writing back on our post and keeping us up to date about your feelings and ways you are coping with life at home. The issues you are still struggling with at this time are important to us and we appreciate your honesty about your desire to fight back, even in ways that defy their expectations. We commend your willingness to bring light to the real truth about why you cut. It is nice that you have someone you can trust at this time and seeing that your friend is also struggling with her own life, gives more credibility to her willingness to give back to you also.

It sounds like you have already considered one option for where you hope to end up once you leave home. Do you have a plan for how you are going to get there? If you are concerned about making a proper plan, we hope that you can count on us for guidance. We are not in a position to give you advice or tell you what to do but we want to hear from you as often as you have time to respond to this post or call us for assistance at 1800RUNAWAY. We are here for you 24 hours a day to discuss options.

The last thing we want you to come away from this post with is the fact that although running away is not considered a crime in most cases, it is still a crime for someone to harbor you as a runaway. Your parents reserve the right to file a report at anytime if you choose to leave without permission and can get others in trouble for taking you into their home. This is different for when you turn 18 but as a minor it is something that affects most runaways with places they can stay. For instance, you cannot stay at a shelter for long without parental notification or consent. In the event that you get caught, the police are expected is return you home or find another way to get you back to your parents. It is also police discretion for what happens to you.

Do you think it is beyond the point of involving your parents at this time? We are in no position to tell you what to do but we hope that you continue to plan through the situation even if you find it hard to involve them. Do you think that there are alternative means to leaving? Have you considered seeing a professional to discuss how you feel? It helps to get things off your chest by speaking to someone. Please consider this option and know that we are here for you. Good luck and try to stay strong.

-NRS