noone will listen. i want to leave now!

[Guest]

im 13 about to be 14. i live with my mom and my little brother. ever since last year i have been having problems with my mom. shes rarely ever home and im always stuck watching my brother. ive tried to talk to her about my problems and all she does is block me out & start to yell at me. if i dont do 1 little dish during the day or i try to ask her for somthing she'll end up yelling at me or she'll leave without saying a word. ive been wanting to run away but im scared if i do she'll try to eather hurt me or she'll put me in a foster home. my dads side of the family doesnt keep in touch with me n my dad hates me because hes racist and wants nothing to do with me just because i went out with a different color guy.. i dont have anyone to run to. i need help. . im kinda on the shy side when it comes to talking to people i dont know. so i keep my thoughts and feelings to myself since no-one will listen. is there any place i can go without having to go to a foster home??

[ccsmod8]

Re: noone will listen. i want to leave now!

Hello,
Thank You for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We empathize with your difficult situation and hope we could help in some way. It sounds like you are living an adult life and it has become a burden for you to have to care for your brother all the time while your own life is neglected. You do not deserve to be the one that provides child care all the time and you need time to enjoy the things that makes you happy. It is not fair to you that you do so much at home and when you need to be heard and reach out you are shut out and yelled at. Do you ever have time to yourself? Are you able to get out of the house sometimes to hang out with people you do know and want to be around? Is there anyone else who could watch your brother? How old is your brother and could your mother afford day care? Can you get your mother to ask someone else to relieve you of this responsibility? You are to be commended for taking the time, when you are having such a difficult life at home, to write to us to help you figure out the best options available before you decide to run. Our duties as crisis intervention workers is not to prevent you from running but to ask all the necessary questions around your plans before you do run. Therefore, do you know where you might go and how you plan on getting there? What is your plan for when you get there and how are you going to survive? Have you ever ran before and what are your expectations for what life is going to be like on the run or if you do return home after you run? All these are just a few things to consider in the mean time. However, being that you are having such a hard time at home, only you are capable of knowing for sure how much longer you can deal with all you are dealing with. Being that you are such a young age it is unlikely that you would be able to access a lot of resources out there without parental consent. For example, in order for you to stay at a shelter, being that you are 13, most shelters are required by law to contact your parents within 24 hours to let them know that you are staying at the shelter and need the parent to sign you in. In terms of whether or not you want your mother to know where you are, that plan seems to always lead back to the people you are trying to avoid and it sounds like you want to get away from it all. However, we hear you on how hard your relationship is with your mother. What sort of mood is she in when she arrive home? Is there ever a time when you, your brother and mother come together and have quality time? Are you and your mother ever able to talk things out before it ends up bad? What is your relationship like with your brother? Is your brother likely to advocate for your case? What will happen if you and your brother sat down and plan to speak to your mother and have your brother do most of the talking? If nothing comes of this, are you able to communicate to her some other way? What sort of activities are you into at home or outside the home? Are you able to take time out to distract yourself from home? Are you able to think of ways to find more time to do extra-curricular activities at school so that your mother is forced to find child care for your brother? Would you run if you were able to exercise some of your rights at home and outside the house? Are you given rewards for your contributions around the house? We hear you on the fact that you do not have anyone to talk to right now. However, you did a good thing by writing to us and although you do not know any of us here at NRS, we are always here to help and here to offer a listening ear in this time of need. We are extremely confidential and no one is going to know that you called. You are welcomed to call us at 1800-Runaway if you need to just vent even if you are on the "shy side" .You are not alone because we are here for you 24hrs/day and want to hear from you. The last thing to remember is that if and when you choose to run, you need to remember that it is not a crime to runaway but you could be listed as a runaway and it becomes a status situation until you return home. You have to do a lot more than just runaway to be sent to a foster home because Department of Social Services or Child Protective Services needs to investigate and assess if you even qualify to leave the home permanently and you have to be in an unsafe situation or involved yourself in risky behavior and there needs to be a lot more happening there. You are welcomed to call Justice for Children at 1800-733-0059 to find out more about what rights you do have and what you could do to secure those rights in your home. Take this time to empower youself and remember that we are here for you. Gook luck with your situation and we look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

NRS

[Unregistered]

same.

I am in the EXACT same situation. Same necgectful mom. Same taking care of younger sibling. same racist dad who doesnt want me. Im fourteen, taking care of my six year old sister. Around the clock while my mom is gone. I send you so much love and luck. If you run away, tell me how you did it. And if you need somebody to rant, or relate to.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out and contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time right now and it’s great that you are offering support to others who are in a similar situation.

It sounds like you have been experiencing some difficulties with your parents and have a lot of responsibilities. Do you have a trusted adult or someone that you can talk to about what is going on? Sometimes, just having a person who will just listen to you is a great place to start. It may help you discover resources or options that are available to you. If you can’t think of anyone, we are available 24 hours a day to do those thing with you. You can reach us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are completely confidential and anonymous. If you aren’t comfortable with calling us, we also have online chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST) and that is available on our website (www.1800runaway.org).

We see that you included your email address but for safety reasons, we have taken that out.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck!

~NRS